


The Redneck and The Samurai (V)

by twhite179



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria - Freeform, Atlanta, Atlanta Police, Babies, Baby Judith Grimes, Barn, Bob - Freeform, Carl Grimes - Freeform, Character Deaths, Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Daryl Dixon/You - Freeform, Dawn - Freeform, Deanna - Freeform, Father Gabriel Stokes - Freeform, Glenn Rhee - Freeform, Grady Memorial Hospital (Walking Dead), Grief, Maggie Greene - Freeform, Michonne - Freeform, Noah - Freeform, Original Female Character - Freeform, Pre-Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), Pregnancy, Reader Insert, Reunions, Sasha - Freeform, Separation, TWD - Season 5, Terminus (The Walking Dead), The Walking Dead - Relationships, Trauma, Tyreese - Freeform, aaron - Freeform, abraham - Freeform, adjustment, beth greene - Freeform, carol peletier - Freeform, daryl dixon - Freeform, eugene - Freeform, past trauma, rick grimes - Freeform, rosita - Freeform, tara chambler - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform, the walking dead - family, the walking dead season 5, twd, walking dead - Freeform, woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:53:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 113,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28716066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twhite179/pseuds/twhite179
Summary: After the trauma of your past and the world now in utter chaos, you'd never have thought you'd have found a group such as this to ride out the walker filled world. You navigate through this new apocalyptic life with Rick Grimes and others, including a certain redneck with a crossbow, facing obstacle after obstacle together and fighting for one another as friendships turn into family.Part 5 - Still reeling from the loss of the prison, Daryl and everyone else in it, as well as what happened with the girls, you and Tyreese make it to Terminus, finding the group already there. After a daring assault on the compound, you and the group find yourselves in a vulnerable situation, searching for new sanctuary. With the group eventually scattered and having to make daring missions along the way, most of them turn out not the way you all hoped. Reeling from losses, will you all finally find a newfound sanctuary? If so, will you be able to adjust after everything that has happened? Or has your experiences in the new world changed you and others too much?(Part 6 in works)(Follows the walking dead (TV) storyline but with my added reader character, plotlines and twists of existing plotlines.)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. one

“They seemed nice enough, but I was ready to go. We just got here, but, damn- it was time to go. When I told them about DC, a wink and a nod from the head asshole in charge, they pulled their guns and it was right back to our regularly scheduled shitstorm.” –Abraham  
-  
“Before they put you in here, you didn’t see Tyreese?” –Sasha  
“No.” –Michonne  
“Good. –Sasha  
-  
“Black car with a white cross painted on it. I tried to follow it. I tried.” –Daryl  
“But she’s alive?” –Maggie  
“She’s alive.” –Daryl  
-

The group quietly build makeshift weapons from whatever they could find and scrap from themselves and the container’s interior; gearing up to not go out without a fight. Rick was using the chain from Glenn’s watch to cut away at a plank of wood that had been put up the inside of the container to block out a hole, slowly but surely getting a large spike from it. Daryl keeps watch through a crack in the entry way of the container car when he spots people headed towards their car. “Alright, got four of them pricks comin’ our way.” Daryl announces.

“Y’all know what to do. Go for their eyes first. Then their throats.” Rick instructs as they all gather around the entry way, readying themselves to fight whoever and whatever faced them once that door was opened. 

“Put your backs to the wall on either side of the car now!” A man yells from outside the container car, but the group stands ready not moving from their stances.

When footsteps are heard on the roof, a small hatch is opened above them when suddenly a can is dropped down before them.

“Move!” Abraham shouts and everyone scatters to either end of the car as the canister blows and tear gas erupts from it, gassing the container car. As everyone is momentarily blinded and coughing from the explosion, the car door opens and faint gas mask hissing is heard when a few members of the group are grabbed. Rick is dragged out the car and pushed to the ground on his front, held there along with Daryl, Glenn and Bob. Their hands are tied together behind their backs and they are also then gaged before they’re taken away somewhere inside part of the Terminus building.

Coming into a room, the sound of a saw buzzing is heard and what Rick sees is disturbing. Two men are stood around a table with one of them sawing at a body laid upon it. As he’s taken further over to something in the room, he sees three large bins, marked ‘burn’, ‘feed’ and ‘wash’ just as he’s placed before a long trough. It was a slaughterhouse. 

As Daryl was brought next to him at the trough, squirming and grunting as he resists and fights the men’s hold on him, Rick has his feet tied. The others are brought along side each other, one by one, with other people from another container being brought in also. Eight of them were now lined up against this long trough. They were going to be slaughtered like animals. 

Metal scrapes ring next to Rick as he looks to see a man sharpening a large machete size knife near the trough before them as a man behind them practises swings with a baseball bat. They both stand around for a moment until they stop and walk up along the trough to stand behind the first man at the opposite end to Rick. The man with the bat suddenly swings and hits the whimpering guy round the back of the head, sending him forward bent over in the trough. The other man with the huge knife then pulls him back by his hair and swiftly slits his throat before letting him fall back down over the trough where all his blood spills and starts draining into. The others look on in horror as the men tied next to the first, now, dead man cry out in muffled panic through their gags as Rick and the other silently panic within themselves, wondering how on earth they’d get out of this, if they could. The men continued with the next man, repeating the process and then again with the third. Rick slyly removes his spiked bit of wood he had managed to cut away in time from his sock inside his boot and holds it in his hands, quietly cutting at the rope with it, waiting for the right moment. 

The leading man of Terminus, Gareth, that the group had been met by on arrival and then ordered by to get into the container, came marching into the room with a book and pen.

“Hey, guys. What were your shot counts?” Gareth questions.

“38.” One of the men from behind answers just before he swings and hits the fourth man, right next to Glenn, and his throat is then cut. Gareth writes the answers down in his book as Glenn braces himself in fear. He is about to be swung at when Gareth calls out.

“Hey!” Gareth yells and the man with the bat stops his swing. “Your shot count?” he asks the other man who hadn’t answered yet.

There’s a pause until the other guy answers from behind. “Crap, man, I’m sorry. It was my first round up.” he apologises.

“After you’re done here, go back to your point and count the shells. Kaylee won’t be gathering them until tomorrow.” Gareth instructs.

“Hey, let me talk to you.” Bob exclaims muffled under his gag at Gareth, who ignores him completely writing in his book. 

He steps around and points at the whole group at the trough. “Four from A, four from D?” Gareth questions. “Yeah.” A man replies from behind and Gareth writes it down.

“Hey, let me talk to you for a minute. Let me talk to you for a minute.” Bob pleads again and Gareth rolls his eyes and steps towards him, pulling his gag from his mouth. “What?”

“Don’t do this. We can fix this.” Bob implores. “No, you can’t.” Gareth replies, going to put his gag back in but Bob quickly speaks again, stopping him.

“You don’t have to do this. We told you there’s a way out of all of this. You just have to take a chance. We have a man who knows how to stop it. He has a cure. We just have to get him to Washington. You don’t have to do this, man. We can put the world back to how it was.” Bob explains.

Gareth shakes his head, unfazed and unconvinced. “Can’t go back, Bob.” He retorts, putting his gag back in his mouth. “We can! You don’t have to do this.” Bob muffles as he gets his gag put back in.

Gareth steps to the side and stands before Rick, crouching down to his level to talk to him. Rick looks back at him with pure, still hatred as Gareth removes his gag.

“We saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it. Had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it. What was in it?” Gareth asks but Rick doesn’t respond, just holds a cold stare at him.

“You hid it, right? In case things went bad? Smart. Still- we’ll find it. But it’s too dangerous to go out there right now.” he continues before unsheathing his knife from his belt and reaching over at Bob. He grabs the back of his neck and pulls him forward, holding the tip of his knife close at one of his eyes.

“What was in it? I’m curious. And it was a big bag.” he questions, yet Rick still stares unresponsive. 

“You really gonna let me do this?” he asks.

“Well, let me take you out there. I’ll show you.” Rick finally answers, quite calmly.

“Not gonna happen. This might.” Gareth retorts, referring to the knife held at Bob.

“There’s guns in it.” Rick announces. “AK-47. .44 Magnum. Automatic weapons. Night scope. There’s compound bow and a machete with a red- red handle.” Rick lists. “That’s what I’m gonna use to kill you.” Rick states.

Gareth chuckles before he releases his hold on Bob, holstering his knife. He sighs before re-gagging Rick and then pats him on the shoulder patronisingly. “Thanks.” He chimes before rising to a stand.

“You have two hours to get them on the driers. Then we go back to public face. Now’s the time we can get messy, but we need to dial it all in by sundown.” Gareth announces to his men, stepping backwards away from the trough.

“Got it.” “Yes, sir.” The two men behind the group affirm.

Gareth goes to walk away just as two gunshots are heard from outside, one after the other. Gareth stops and grabs his radio. “Hey, Chuck?” he calls into it.

Not long after, as the man with the bat is about to swing at Glenn once again, he’s stopped as one more gunshot it heard outside. Everyone looks around a little confused for a moment until suddenly an explosion follows, erupting outside, shaking the building. 

-

Tyreese and I walked along the track as I held a peaceful Judith in my arms. We’d been travelling for a couple days after leaving the grove, continuing up the track towards Terminus. We’d be getting close soon and hopefully we could forget all about what happened back at the grove. I knew I wanted to. We hadn’t talked as much as we used to when we’d been trekking along the track or in the woods. Tyreese was still reeling from what happened pretty badly. I was too, but I tried my hardest to push it away, forget it ever happened; if it didn’t I was afraid I’d be even worse. 

“We’re close.” I announce as we come to another Terminus sign.

Taking a few steps past it, we both suddenly hear twigs snap near behind us, followed by the faint noise of moans. We turned around to see a single walker stumbling its way out the treeline onto the track. It spots us as it does, and I look to Tyreese hoping he’d kill it, seeing as he had been refusing to do it ever since the grove, and I was holding Judith. But that didn’t matter; he held his arms out to take her from me, so I could take it down, as usual now.

I look at him pitifully as he holds his arms out and he reads my thoughts. “I can’t. Not yet.” He sadly admits as he takes Judith.

“I know.” I reply as I unsheathe my katana. “But, you’re gonna have to be able to sometime, Ty.” I gently point out as I march over to the walker. I take its head off in one quick swing and it slumps to the track. As I look down at it, I start to hear more snarling now it was dead. I look to my side, where it had come from, and see a mass of walkers approaching the track from the woods. It looked like the front of a herd.

I look back over to Tyreese. “More.” I whisper and job back up to him. I grab the bag off the ground and we both come off the track into the opposite treeline, going into the woods and hiding behind a mound for cover. The start of the walkers begin crossing the track over onto our side and seeing they weren’t letting up or changing direction we rise a little to move off and get away when gunfire suddenly erupts in the distance. The noise gets the attention of the herd and directs them up the track towards it. it had to be from Terminus. That amount of gunfire and in the near distance, which Terminus was, pointed to that. My initial doubts about the place now somewhat rising. We were behind the mound for quite a while, waiting for all the walkers to pass and get a way up the track before we came out and back on it when it was clear.

“That gunfire, it could have been from Terminus.” Tyreese announces.

“Someone was attacking them. Or they were attacking someone.” I state.

“Do we even wanna find out?” Tyreese questions.

I look at him, reading the hesitation from him, but we didn’t have any other options, as much as I was hesitant as well. We would go and find out what was going on before showing ourselves. “Yeah.” I mutter, before looking at the map on the sign.

“There’s another track due east. It’ll get us there. We’ll be real careful. We’re gonna get answers.” I declare and we move off the tracks onto a different route to come up onto Terminus. 

Coming closer to the place, having come through the woods, we came across a small cabin where we spotted a man getting out a car from a safe distance. We kept hidden not too close, but too far away, as we watched him for a moment. He was clean and didn’t look dishevelled in anyway, suggesting he was set up, probably at Terminus. He had got a bag out from his car and was setting something up on the ground when I heard a faint radio crackle and a voice come through it. I decided we should carefully move forward closer to him and I led Tyreese, holding Judith, over to the side of the cabin so we could listen in better. The guy was crouched down out behind his car, near the front of the cabin, fiddling with something as the voice came through on the radio again.

“10 minute count. You screw up, you’re on your own, Martin.” A woman over the radio calls.

“You don’t have to tell me. I wipe my own ass.” he says into the radio.

I peek round at the corner of the cabin and see he moves over to his bag to the side of whatever it was he was handling. It looked like something you’d launch fireworks from, and when I saw what he was taking from the bag, I knew I was right. He was grabbing out fireworks. His bag was full of them by the looks of it.

“Alex didn’t get it. See, I knew the guy with the crossbow was bad news. Prick looked like weapon with a weapon.” The guy, Martin the woman called him, points out to the woman on the other end of the radio. Hearing his words send a shock straight through me. Could he have been talking about Daryl? Was he at Terminus? He was alive? It had to be him. How many crossbow wielding people were around here? I was adamant it was. And if it was, what had they done with him. I was starting to think my doubts were right. At hearing the mention of what I was sure was Daryl, I quietly moved from around the cabin, I heard Tyreese move behind to follow and we carefully crept our way up behind him.

“He was always a sloppy ass mother.” the woman on the radio replies, making Martin chuckle.

“Yeah, I told Albert I want the kid’s hat after they bleed him out.” he tells the woman on the radio as I come up directly behind him. Bleed him out? Kid with the hat? Did he just refer Carl and his sheriff’s hat? The description of what had to be Daryl and Carl, fit too well. If they were there, Rick and others could be alive too, they could be there. And more worryingly if they were, and for much longer, what the hell were they doing to them here. Bleed him out? Hearing it all as I came up behind him angrily worried me and I immediately held my katana at his neck as he finished speaking on the radio. At the feeling of my sword at the side of his neck, he holds his hands out to the side, the radio still in one.

“Keep your finger off the button and drop it.” I order. He complies, dropping it instantly at his side on his knees with us stood behind him.

“They’re only doing eight before public face.” The woman states over the radio.

“Listen, y’all don’t have to do this. Whatever you want, we got a place where everyone’s welcome.” Martin says, an effort to defend his life, lying through his teeth. 

“Shut up, man.” Ty spits, beating me to it. “Okay.” He says.

“We’re friends with the guy with the crossbow and the kid in the hat.” I announce and we hear him sigh. I kick him in the back and stand my foot on him to hold him down. patting him down, I was surprised to find he was only armed with a knife. Taking it from him and putting it in my own belt, out of his reach, we order him inside the cabin where we tie his hands and hold him.

“They attacked us. We’re just holding them.” Martin tells us, still lying I thought, while sat on the floor in the far corner where we’d put him as I come back into the cabin with his bag of fireworks.

“I don’t believe you.” I retort, putting the bag on a table.

“Who else do you have? Do you know their names?” Tyreese questions him.

“We just have the boy and the archer, that’s it. We were just protecting ourselves.” He answers as I look through the bag, finding sniper rifle in the bag amongst the fireworks, now seeing why he only had a knife on him personally.

“I don’t believe you.” I repeat.

“There’s a bunch of us out there, in six different directions. There was a lot of gunfire back home. We need to set off our charges all at the same time to confuse the dead ones away. That’s good for you, too.” Martin explains as I grab a dusty old blanket I spotted in the cabin.

“No, it isn’t.” I reply, zipping up the bag of fireworks after taking the rifle out, seeing Martin looked puzzled at my response. “There’s a herd heading towards Terminus right now. We don’t want to confuse them away. We’re gonna need their help.” I elaborate.

“It’s a compound. They’ll see you coming.” He states as I step towards the door and Tyreese, making me look to him. “If you even make it that far with all the cold bodies heading over.” he points out, but I don’t respond. I was getting our people out one way or another, I was seeing Daryl again, whatever I had to do. I turn back around and step for the door, but Tyreese touches my shoulder, stopping me.

“Y/N. How are you gonna do this?” he asks quietly, giving me a slight look up and down. Yes I was pregnant, but it hadn’t stopped me before. And I was going to be smart; despite what Martin had said, they wouldn’t see me coming.

“I’m gonna kill people.” I answer before leaving the cabin.

Striding through the woods in the direction of Terminus, I hope to come across a walker and I eventually do, a lone one staggering around. I kill it with ease and sit myself down by it. I grab the blanket from the bag and cut a hole in the middle of it to fit my head. After which I proceed to cut the dead walker open and cover the blanket with its blood and guts. Putting my head through it and over my body, it drapes over my front and back to mask my smell. To further that, I rub it’s blood on my face, neck and hands before continuing over to Terminus.

“Put your backs to the wall on either side of the car now!” I hear a man yell in the distance as begin to approach a chain link fence ahead. Coming up to it, it looks as if I’ve come up near the back of the Terminus compound. Looking through at the place, I’m slightly elevated above the place at the spot the fence stops me at the edge of the woods. Looking down and over to the side at where the yells came from, I’m suddenly faced with the sight of Rick. Holy shit. He was alive and also was being dragged away, tied and gagged. Then looking over to where they’d dragged him over from, I saw a guy picking Glenn up from off the floor. Was everyone here? As they moved him away, I then saw Daryl. For a split second my heart stopped at seeing him alive, but I quickly composed myself; they were all being dragged away into the compound. Bob too. I wondered how many others were here. 

Moving around Terminus for the front, where the herd would come out, I come around to it but I don’t come directly in front, I stop just near it at its side, keeping hidden until I figured out a plan to get the group out. I was still elevated slightly above the ground of the place, along the fence, in the treeline of the woods. So, I was a little distance away and had to use the sniper rifle scope to look around at the front. A large cluster of walkers had accumulated coming towards the fenced entrance and a few people were at their fences, taking them down through it, like we had done at the prison. Continuing to scan around, I spot a gas tank, full of propane. An idea was starting to form in my head as the people at the fences started to shout and run back into the compound. Looking over to the side, the start of the herd had arrived at the front of Terminus, coming off the tracks from out the woods across the tarmac entrance approaching the fences. I grab a firework from the bag, resting it through and against the chain link fence, ready to be lit. Poking the end of the rifle through the fence, I adjust my grip and aim for the propane gas tank. It looked old and rusted, not properly kept, if I shot at the same spot a few times, I hoped it would make a breach. I took two shots, one right after the other, hitting the same spot, but nothing. I take a breath before shooting at the exact same spot again and the tank suddenly bursts gas out of the breach from the bullets. I lay the rifle down and take the lighter from the bag of fireworks, igniting the one I had leant against the chain link aimed at the gas tank. I hunched over, covering my ears after I lite the fuse. A few seconds later, I hear the swoosh of the firework fly off and not more than a couple later, an almighty explosion erupts at the gas tank, shaking the ground and I immediately feel the heat from it. Looking back through the fence, the fire is roaring around the gas tank and the fences have been brought down around it by the explosion. It had worked.

-

Tyreese was laying Judith in an old, broken cool box he’d found, lining it with her blanket so she could be more comfortable, when the sound of an explosion rang from outside in the distance. He moved towards the window at the front to see a large column of black smoke rising from the top of the trees in the distance, from the direction Y/N had gone.

“Is that Terminus?” Martin asks, still sat in the far corner.

“Yeah. Probably.” Tyreese answers looking out the window.

“Maybe you’re gonna win this.” Martin chimes. “Maybe your friend-- I mean, maybe that woman, just got capped.” He continues. “Maybe I’m gonna be the one who gets capped when she comes back.” he adds.

“Nobody’s gotta die today.” Tyreese states, still looking out the window.

Martin scoffs. “Man, if you believe that-- then it’s definitely gonna be you and the kid.” he retorts coldly. Tyreese turns to face him with slight disturbance. “Even if that place is burning to the ground.” Martin adds.

-

Abraham slams his fists against the insides of the container wall. After the explosion and the following gunfire raging outside, a few of the people inside were concerned as to what exactly was going on outside, especially since they were in the dark.

“What the hell is going on?” Abraham exclaims.

“Someone hit ‘em.” Michonne states.

“Maybe our people got free.” Sasha theorises as Eugene, the guy Abraham and his companion Rosita were protecting when they met the others, pushes past towards the car door. “Excuse me.” he says as he brushes past her and Tara, the young woman who had been with Glenn after the Governor attacked the prison.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rosita questions Eugene who had crouched by the bottom of the car door.

“I might be able to use this shell to compromise the door. From the sound of things, there may not be anybody left to open it.” he explains.

“Eugene, I’m sorry, but shut up.” Tara says.

“Hey.” Carl calls, getting everyone’s attention. “My dad’s gonna be back. They all are.” He states.

“They are. And we need to get ready to fight our way out with them when they do.” Maggie instructs coming up alongside Carl, before going back to resume cutting away at the wooden plank with the watch’s chain, like Rick had done before.

Michonne looks out the crack by the car door, she sees several walkers stumbling around and slightly smiles at herself knowing the place was being taken down.


	2. two

After Rick and the others had been left under the watch of the two guys that had been slaughtering them, one of them had started to panic at whatever was going on outside. After those few gunshots, followed by the explosion, there was now continuous gunfire heard from outside. As the one guy panicked, starting to pace around the room, the other tried to calm and assure him they’d be fine while Rick had managed to free himself. When their backs were turned, he took the moment to attack them. coming up behind the first, he stabbed him in the neck with his wooden spike before killing the other as he turned around, stabbing him in the neck also but his gut a couple times too in anger. Glenn called out to him through his gag, the rest of them still tied up by the trough, and he rushed over to cut and free them.

“If they got problems, we got a chance.” Rick points out as he cuts Glenn and Daryl free.

“It sounded like a bomb.” Glenn exclaims, removing his gag as Rick cuts Bob free.

“Sounds like a damn war.” Daryl states, removing his also as they grab some knives and anything else they could for weapons.

“What the hell are these people?” Bob worryingly questions finally removing his gag.

“They ain’t people.” Daryl retorts as he strides over to the bodies Rick killed with a knife in hand, to stab their brains.

“Don’t. Let ‘em turn.” Rick orders, stopping Daryl as he goes to stab the first.

Rick starts to leave the room, and the others follow behind. “Cross any of these people, you kill ‘em. Don’t hesitate. They won’t.” Rick announces as they all leave the room, headed back for the group.

-

Walking amongst the dead, the walkers, had brought me right back to the memory of getting out the prison against the herd. Now, I was getting in someplace else with a herd. I walked through into the front of Terminus with my bag on my shoulder and rifle in hand. The bag I kept tucked around to my back covered by the blanket as I held the rifle under it, keeping myself as unnoticeable as possible while I walked towards the compound. There were a few people scattered around screaming as walkers bit and ate at them still alive. Peering at them, something stirred inside me. It wasn’t guilt; whatever they were doing to the people here wasn’t humane and they probably deserved what they got. It was more the fact that I had brought down their fences and was their downfall. Just like the Governor was ours. He had brought our fences down, attempted to kill our people, maybe even succeeded with some, and filled our home with walkers in the process. I was their Governor. As soon as I thought it, I shook it off. I was nothing like him. He had no cause or just reason to do the things he did. I was saving my friends. My family. And taking down whatever sick regime these people had going here. Bleeding people out? They sounded like slaughters.

I was snapped from my thoughts as I had begun walking through the compound when walkers up front were suddenly started to be taken out from someone or a few people at long range. I spot an open door just in front to my side, an easy way in finally, and quickly move up to it to get out the line of fire before bringing my own rifle up. Looking through the scope at where the shots were coming from I spot a couple shooters up ahead. One was in front of the walkers at an entrance to one of the buildings. I take him out before moving my line of fire to the second shooter on the roof of the same building, taking quick several shots instead of carefully aiming one as walkers started to stagger towards me from the sound of my rifle. With the shooters dead and the walkers now in front coming right at me, I grab the door and slam it shut as I step inside. I was in. Now I just had to get to the back of the compound. If the guys hadn’t had been able to make an escape after the explosion, then they’d need help and that’s where they’d been taken inside. If they had, then they’d be going back for whoever else was left there, whether it was just Carl or not, from where they’d been taken. And that’s where I’d need to get to.

Now making my way through Terminus, I eventually come across a room full of possessions. Clothes, bags, jewellery, toys, just about anything you’d strip from a person. Then there were also a few tables full of weapons. Scanning over it, I suddenly see a familiar crossbow and move over to the table, grabbing it without hesitation. Looking over it stood at the table, I then notice in front of me on the table, Rick’s Python. Putting the crossbow down, I take the bag off my shoulder and place it on the table. Taking my katana out, I then tip the rest of the fireworks in it out onto the floor and start to fill the bag with as many weapons as I can, figuring we’d need some when we got out of here. I pack aa types of guns, knives, machetes, anything; lastly putting Daryl’s crossbow, Rick’s gun and my katana in the bag before strapping it back to my shoulder. It was heavier now, but still doable if I kept it over my back. I kept the rifle I’d been using in hand before moving off out the room, continuing on towards the back of the compound.

After getting closer to the back and having swept my way through, I had seen things in rooms that were horrifying. I’d entered one room that had human body parts hanging up, with tools placed along a couple tables and after that I was faced by another room that was just as sickening. Looking into this room, four tied bodies were laid over a trough and another dead body was laid, sawn at, on a table at the other side. All of which appeared to have been feasted on by walkers also. I cautiously walked inside to inspect the room further. It was just as Martin back at the cabin had mentioned over the radio; the bodies hunched over the trough had been bled out and the bottom of it was covered in their blood. This place was a slaughterhouse. They were bleeding out and sawing people up like they were animals. These people were cannibals.

Thankfully, I didn’t recognise any of the tied bodies which I was more than relieved to see as I had imagined this was were the guys had been taken. But they weren’t here, and I guessed they had made an escape because there were a couple small, smeared pools of blood on the floor. A couple of people had been killed by the looks of it and they must have turned, considering the bodies left in the room had been eaten at and the smears in the blood on the floor. The gunfire outside must have drawn them out after they had got their fill of their food. As I began walking back out the room, I heard faint snarls coming from behind me and looking around I saw a couple of the tied bodies were waking, now having turned. They weren’t going to go very far as their hands and feet were tied, so I resumed walking out the room and left. I felt slightly bad for not putting them down, considering what had happened to them through no fault of their own. But I wanted to get to my family as soon as I could and after seeing all of this, I felt even more accelerated to do so. 

Coming to another door into another room, I was faced by something that seemed strange at first glance. It was a large, emptied room that was now filled with lit candles and lanterns, arranged in a circle around the whole room. Although, it started to seem less strange the more I looked around. There were words that appeared to be many names painted on the floor also following the circler pattern around the room and on the walls were the words ‘never again’ ‘never trust’ ‘we first, always’. It was a memorial room. Something had clearly happened to the people here and they’d lost a lot of people because of it. Whatever it was, it must have been what made them the slaughters they’d become. I then noticed another door at the other side of the room, with a light shining through from beneath it which told me it finally led to outside. Walking through the room, I just get past the circle, headed for the door when I’m suddenly stopped at the cock of a gun back over from behind me.

“Drop your weapons and turn around?” a woman’s voice follows after her gun cocks.

I stand still at her words. “I want to see your face.” She spits.

I see ahead of me shadows start to show in the light through the bottom of the door. Snarls sound as, from the looks of it, a couple walkers approach it and start thudding on the door.

“Now!” the woman shouts behind me as I still haven’t moved or dropped a thing.

Keeping myself faced away, I take the bag from off my back and shoulder and place it on the ground, as I keep my rifle gripped in my other hand under the blanket in front of me. As I slowly turn slightly to my side, I rapidly spin as I bring the rifle up and just shoot several rounds as I do, aiming to hit the woman behind. I see her jump to the ground at the shots that follow behind her as I turn. Her gun scatters across the floor and as she starts crawling for it I rush over and kick it aside before she suddenly gets up. Getting a grip on the rifle, she pushes me back as she follows against me, keeping a hold of me until we trip. I fall onto my back and she falls to the side of me. As she goes to hit me, I block her swing with my arm and punch her face in retaliation, sending her onto her back. As I grab my rifle and scramble to my feet, I align myself with the rifle as she stands to her feet also, gripping a large, metal candlestick. I aim and cock the rifle at her just as she stands about to swing her candlestick at me but stops herself at the sound of the cock and seeing the barrel of the rifle pointed right at her. For a short moment, all we do is stare at one another and now we stopped fighting, I notice the thuds and snarls have grown louder outside the door.

The woman drops the candlestick and lets out a big sigh as she looks around the room. “The signs-- they were real. It was a sanctuary.” she starts deflatingly, turning back to face me. “People came and took this place.” She continues, her tone turning angered, but I didn’t have time nor the care for this.

“Just tell me--,” I interrupt but she dismisses it completely, continuing. “And they raped and they killed and they laughed, over weeks. But we got out and we fought and we got it back. And we heard the message. You’re the butcher- or you’re the cattle.” She exclaims.

“You chose wrong.” I retort, keeping the rifle aimed firmly at her as she stood before me.

She scoffs. “You could never understand.” She spits.

“I do. Believe me.” I assure. “But I didn’t choose to become a monster.” I add which earns me a cold glare.

“If I go out that door, will it lead to me to the container car at the back of the compound?” I question but she doesn’t respond, keeping her stern stare on me. growing quickly impatient, I shoot a bullet into her leg sending her to the floor screaming.

“Answer the question.” I snap, keeping the rifle pointed at her on the floor.

She breathes heavily through the pain for a moment. “Now-- point it at my head.” She orders but I just stare back down at her.

She laughs to herself through the pain. “You could have been one of us. You could have listened to what the world is telling you.” She points out.

“You lead people here- you take what they have and you slaughter them and--?” I state but stop myself as I can’t bring myself to say out loud what it is they do. “Is that what this place is?” I poke in disgust.

“No, not at first. It’s what it had to be. And we’re still here.” she retorts.

I lower my rifle, knowing she wasn’t going anywhere now with her shot leg. “You’re not here. Not anymore.” I reply as I pick my bag up and strap it back to my shoulder across my back, before walking over to the door. I push it open with force, standing to the side, and allow the walkers outside to come in. A group of several of them stagger through, glancing at me unfazed before stumbling over quickly to the woman wailing on the floor, exclaiming ‘no’ repeatedly as they approach her, and I slip out the door.

After coming outside and making my way around the compound a bit more, I finally come to what I recognise as the place I saw the guys being taken from. Walking through many scattered walkers, towards the back and where their container was, I see ahead that it’s wide open. They got out. Good; it was a relief. I just had to find them now. Keeping my movements to a minimum, I scanned around to see if there was a sign of any exit they may have made or used and I notice a group of walkers clustered together more compactly around a specific part of the fence. Walking over slowly to get a closer look at what it was they were grouping around, but still keeping a little distance, I see that there was large covering over the barbed wire top of the chain link fence. People must have climbed over, using the covering as a lining over the barbed wire, to escape. It could have been people from Terminus but seeing as the guys were taken from this container that was pretty close to it and the walkers around, they had to have escaped that way. There was no way I would be able to follow over that part of the fence where they had climbed over; there were too many walkers around it. I started to walk along the fence and compound, amongst the walkers, looking for a space where there were less or hardly any of them around the fence. As I walked, I was seeing there were loads of wooden pallets around the back of the place and chucked around the fence. So when I came across a feasible space around the fence with a wooden pallet laid beside it, I made my way over. As slowly, carefully and quietly as I could, I picked the wooden pallet up and leant it against the concrete base edge of the chain link fence. I climbed onto the concrete base and then, again cautiously, pulled the wooden pallet up onto the base edge, leaning it against the chain link. The slight noise I made scraping the pallet, I saw pulled the attention of a few walkers around and they started to stumble in my direction. I quickly shed my blanket and threw it over the barbed wire top of the fence before pushing the bag of weapons and rifle over. I didn’t stop to look back to see how close the walkers were, not wanting to waste a second, and using the pallet as a boost and aid to climb the fence, I carefully rushed my way over it. When I landed on the ground the other side, the landing on my feet being a little painful, I stumbled a little and fell forward onto my knees as I heard the fence rattle accompanied with the walker’s moans. I pulled myself up to my feet with a grunt and looked out at the woods in front of me with a smile. I got out, and so did they. They’d be in the woods here somewhere; they couldn’t have gone far with no where to go. I would find them. I turned around and yanked the blanket down from off the fence. Using the clean side, I wiped the blood from my skin, before discarding it to the ground and strapping the weapons bag to my shoulder, across my back once more, along with the rifle. With a sigh of breath, I walked on into the woods in search of the guys and whoever else of the group they had with them. 

I’d been walking in the woods towards the spot the others had escaped around, to scout their tracks and follow them when I had caught a glimpse of a group of people in the distance before I even managed to get there. Not close enough to see if it was Daryl, Rick and others or a group of Terminus people, I crept towards them to get a better look and sound of them. As I neared them I started to recognise that the group was in fact the Rick and Daryl and the rest as I spotted those two from behind. After everything that had happened, we’d finally be back together. Rick and Daryl had their backs to my direction as they presumably discussed with the rest of them in front and my heart could have leapt for joy at the sight of them, especially at the familiar sight of Daryl’s red rag hanging from his back pocket and of course his angel winged leather jacket. I had him back.

When I was walking closer towards them, their conversation started to come to ear.

“It’s not over ‘til they’re dead.” Rick states, clearly talking about the people at Terminus.

“The hell it isn’t. That place is on fire. Full of walkers.” A woman I didn’t recognise retorts.

“I’m not dicking around with this crap, we just made it out.” A largely built man chimes in, that I also don’t recognise stood next to the woman and another couple people I didn’t recognise. 

“The fences fences are down. They’ll run or die.” Maggie states. She was here. She was alive. I saw that Glenn was next to her. Then I saw that Sasha was with Bob. Tyreese was going to be overjoyed, then I thought about Judith. Rick was going to be even more ecstatic to see her. So would Carl, who I saw was in fact there, and stood with Michonne. And then I saw Carol. She was here, after what happened; after being exiled by Rick. She must have come across someone or some of the group after the prison fell. If she was here, then she must have been forgiven by Rick, but I did wonder if everyone knew. And how was Tyreese going to react, now he knew? 

Most of our initial prison group was here, minus a few sadly I noticed, but it was more than I had hoped. As Maggie had spoken, I had come close to the group and when they all looked at Rick after she had, he said nothing. That’s when I had stepped close enough to them that Daryl heard my footsteps behind him. He quickly turned his head to face the noise. I saw the plain expression on his face drop to one of stun and disbelief as he saw me before him. Finally seeing his face, tears immediately formed in my eyes. He didn’t hesitate to run at me, and I dropped the bag and rifle from my shoulders without a care. My tears fell from my face in joy as he ran at me and I saw the tears in his eyes as we both held out our arms for the other. He wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped mine around him and I could hear him sniffle into my shoulder as he lifted me a little off my feet in relief and glee. As we embraced we stumbled around on the spot, not being able to stand still together in each other’s arms. I chuckle lightly into his shoulder through my tears of absolute joy and then notice the others ahead stepping forward a few steps towards us with smiling and stunned faces. Daryl pulled himself from my shoulder and stood before me, still holding and against me as some tears roll down his cheeks. I wipe them away and lightly caress his face as we both kiss. It’s short and sweet, but all I needed. Daryl pulls away, but only slightly, and just looks into my eyes before looking down at my belly. He holds it softly at each side, as I rest my hands on his shoulders, before then looking back up to me. We bring our foreheads together, resting them against each other’s. When we hear someone stand behind us, Daryl pulls away to my side and we both look to see its Rick. He looks back to me and I stroke his cheek before turning my attention fully to Rick. He stood before me with a small but slightly sad smile, with the look of emotional gratitude as I looked back at him with emotional relief at seeing his face, as I had Daryl.

“Did you do that?” he asks emotionally.

I smile as I let out a breath. “Hell yeah.” I breathe with a sniffle.

He brings me into a hug, making me chuckle a little through my happy cries and we hold each other for a touching moment. “Thank you.” Rick whispers into my ear.

In the moment of silence, as the rest looked on at us, someone from the group broke it.

“You’re telling me this broad did all that, and with a bun in the oven?” The big built man I didn’t know chimes, making Rick and I break from our embrace. Looking over, I compose myself.

“That so hard to believe?” I call over at the man.

The man scoff with a smile. “No ma’am. You seem quite the marvel to me.” he replies.

If it were any other time, I probably would have smiled at his remark. However, the smallest things were still getting to me, and hearing the man say ‘ma’am’ made me think of Lizzie. I shook it from thought as I looked to Rick in question of the people and he read it immediately. 

“They’re with us. One of us.” he states.

As I nod in response I suddenly remember the bag of weapons, but also about Tyreese and Judith. I move over to the bag and crouch down, unzipping it to pull out the weapons. As I pull out Daryl’s crossbow he comes to my side and I hold it out to him with a smile. Taking it from me, I get a smile and a nod of appreciation back. After putting the rifle in the bag, I then take Rick’s Python out as well as my katana and as I strap it to my back coming to a stand, I turn to face Rick. I hold the gun out for him to take, which he does with a smile of thanks.

“You have to come with me.” I say and he nods.

As I led the group in the direction of the cabin, we had eventually come onto the track towards it. Rick was carrying his own bag of guns and supplies while Daryl had the bag of weapons I’d snagged, not wanting me to carry it which I did not protest at all. Terminus had exhausted me a little. After the heavy bag, the woman who attacked me and the fence, my body was feeling a little hard done by, but the lack of food and water over the last couple days wouldn’t have helped. Although, as we walked, Daryl and I were holding each other’s hands, tight at each other’s side and the slight exhaustion didn’t matter to me; having him back at my side made everything feel better.

“I thought you were gone.” Daryl suddenly announces quietly between us, making me look to him. “I saw you go down and--” he continues but cuts himself off. “I’m sorry.” He finishes.

“What for? You did nothing wrong.” I assure him.

“If I’d have known. I woulda never left.” he states.

“You couldn’t have known. Just like I didn’t. You had to go. We all did.” I reassure. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. We’re here.” I add with a squeeze of his hand and planting a lingering peck on his lips.

Shortly after, we start to come up to the cabin and we come into view and closer to it, Tyreese comes out holding Judith. As soon as Rick spots her in Ty’s arms he drops his bag without a thought, much like I had done at seeing Daryl, and breaks into a run towards them, Carl closely behind. Sasha follows them into a run at seeing Tyreese also and a smile stretched across my face at seeing the start of their reunions. I can hear Rick’s and Sasha’s cries of relief at seeing them as they run and I see Rick’s as he takes hold of Judith from Tyreese, who then embraces his sister in emotional joy. All of us watch on with smiles while we continue to walk up to them. As we get to them, Tyreese and Rick share a moment of gratitude and respect, each of them grasping the other’s shoulder tight, dismissing everything that had happened at the prison between them. When we came to a stop, I moved over to Tyreese, as other’s huddled around Rick, Carl and Judith and around the group, going to see him about Martin inside and talk about Carol, when I spot dead walkers at the side of the cabin.

“What happened?” I question.

“There were a bunch of walkers out here and- he got his hands around Judith’s neck.” Ty explains quietly and without hesitation at hearing it I move to head inside the cabin, but Ty stops me.

“No, he’s dead.” He announces between the two of us. “I-- I had to. -So I did. –I could.” He adds and I nod at him in response, touching his arm in comfort. He finally did it.

“Have you noticed?” I softly ask him soon after, referring to Carol and knowing if he had seen her, he’d know what I was talking about.

“Yeah.” He simply replies.

“What happened isn’t like her. It was horrible- and it’s hard, I know. But she’s here.” I point out. “You gonna talk to her?” I gently suggest in question.

“I will. Soon. At the right time.” He answers and I grip his shoulder, squeezing it in support.

Others started to come up to us, only now that we’d stopped having the moment to finally greet each other properly. I smiled and embraced the group one by one, feeling better with every greeting at seeing them alive. Glenn had told Ty and I who the people we didn’t know were, explaining their circumstances and how they had come across them, saving him and helping a few of them get to Terminus. The three stood together were Rosita, a young woman around my age, Abraham, the big built man sporting a strong ginger moustache and hair to match, and Eugene, the man standing unarmed looking a little unsure of himself. The other two were his protectors of sorts and Eugene apparently had the cure to eradicate the infection that turned us to walkers. That bit of information had caught me a little off guard, a somewhat positive surprise. Then there was another young woman, around Glenn and Maggie’s age, Tara who he had explained was on the Governor’s side when they attacked but she had been reluctant to be there and refused to fight. She had been with him since the prison and if he vouched for her, she was fine by me.

“I don’t know if the fire is still burning.” Rick points out after handing Judith to Carl and looking back at the column of smoke coming from Terminus, rising in the distance out from the treetops.

I look over and as I see the smoke, it was yet another thing reminding me the girls, this time Mika. “It is.” I answer aloud. “It’s black.” I mutter to myself sadly.

“Yeah. We need to go.” Rick states.

“Yeah, but where?” Daryl questions.

“Somewhere far away from there.” Rick answers, referring to Terminus.

Everyone got dished the weapons out from the two bags, guns, knives, machetes, the works. Everyone was armed, with weapons to spare. Glad and ready to put Terminus far behind us, we leave from the cabin. Daryl, Rick and I walked at the back of the group as we all began to head away. We eventually come back to the track through the woods and as we cross it, we pass a sign for Terminus. Rick stops at it, making Daryl and I stop to see why. He crouches down and cups mud in his hand before smearing it across all the words but one and adding a word above it. What once read ‘sanctuary for all’ ‘community for all ‘those who arrive, survive’, now read warningly and simply ‘no sanctuary’. He looks to us as we look back to him, the three of us sharing a knowing look in recognition of what we now had to face. The unknown. But now we did it together. We move to continue past the sign, catching up to the others as we all now walked on to a new path, wherever it led us.


	3. three

After walking for so long, we’d all stopped for a moment on the side of the small woodland road we’d been walking along, to catch a break from trekking and to sit and eat something. I sat myself down next to Ty, seizing the opportunity so I could talk to him about Carol. I’d seen him talk to her at the back of the group quietly at one point as we’d been following the small road along the woods, what we’d been following to nowhere in particular. 

“I saw you with Carol? How’d it go?” I gently ask Ty after I perched myself next to him, keeping my voice low so others around us couldn’t hear.

He paused for a moment before he looked to me and answered. “Rick seems to accept it. She wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.” He starts, making a point.

“I forgave her.” he continues. “I won’t forget it. But I forgive her. She feels it. Like I do. It’s a part of her now.” he adds.

I nod in agreement sadly. “Yeah.” I say, touching and squeezing his hand in comfort.

“Do we tell them about the girls?” Tyreese sorrowfully questions after a moment.

Looking out ahead of me in sad thought, I quickly reply. “No.”

“Why?” he asks.

“We don’t need to. And I don’t want to.” I answer, before facing him grievingly. “I just need to forget it.” I add.

“You’re right. –So do I.” Ty agrees sadly.

Apart from our pitstop, we’d been walking the rest of the day since Terminus. We only stopped again when the day turned into night and we set up a small camp in the woods for the night. People were starting to turn in, falling asleep as Daryl was keeping watch just in front of the group ahead. I wanted to join them, but I couldn’t sleep. Although my body was tired, my head was keeping me up, so I stayed sat up on a log, not sleeping and alone with my thoughts. Until Rick came and sat with me.

“Hey.” He quietly greets as he lowers himself beside me.

“Hey. You okay?” I reply, matching his quiet volume.

“Yeah.” He answers, then looks at me as if asking the same thing.

“I’m okay.” I say, like I was trying to convince myself that a little.

“I know.” he states.

“How?” I ask.

“’Cause I am.” He simply explains. 

I give Rick a weak smile as we sit there together. If only he knew, he’d know I wasn’t completely okay, not after the girls. 

After a short moment of silence, he strikes conversation up again. “You know, you’ve saved my kids, twice.” He starts, making me look at him in question slightly. “The farm, the prison, and then Terminus.” He continues.

“We’ve all saved each other over time, Rick.” I dismiss.

“Yeah, we have. But you’ve saved my kids.” He insists. “You gave Carl your blood at the farm. You saved Judith’s life at the prison bringing her into this world, then getting her out of there when it all fell apart. And then all of us at Terminus, including my son.” He explains, making me look at him with a sad realisation.

“I owe you everything.” He states emotionally grateful.

I shake my head. “No, you don’t.” I retort. “Hershel saved Carl at the farm, not me. I just helped get him somewhat stable. And you owe Ty for getting Judith out- I just followed after them.” I clarify.

“Yeah. But you helped. And I bet you did all you could to make sure they stayed alive when you found ‘em, right?” Rick counters, to which I hesitate on a reply, knowing if I had done that, then the girls would have still been alive.

I nod at him sadly, not being able to form any words as my thoughts drifted towards the girls again, before I felt him hold my shoulder in comfort. “Thank you. I’m eternally grateful.” He whispers, once again to me and I bring my hand up, over his on my shoulder.

“I’m also sorry.” He then suddenly continues. “What for?” I question a little puzzled.

“I left you at the pri-,” Rick begins. “Rick, you don’t have to-,” I interject, knowing what he was going to say, and knowing he didn’t need to, but he proceeds to cut me off too.

“No, just let me say it.” he maintains. “I left you at the prison and I’m sorry. I’ve let you down a few times now, and after all we’ve been through together, it’s something that I’ll forever feel guilty for. So I’m sorry. And I promise you, I wont let you down again.” He confesses quietly.

I squeeze his hand still on my shoulder. “You did what you had to do. And I won’t forgive you, because there’s nothing to forgive, Rick.” I begin. “We’ve all done things-- and we’ve all had to do things. You don’t have to apologise. Like I said to Daryl, it doesn’t matter now. We’re all here.” I assure him.

“Speaking of- I’m gonna head over to him.” I announce, patting his hand on my shoulder before rising to a stand. As I take a step forward, I stop myself and turn back to Rick. “The things we’ve had to do, whatever they are for all of us. They’ve got us Here. And now that we are here. Everyone’s gonna be looking to you for leadership again-- and they already are. You know that right?” I explain softly.

He nods. “Yeah-- I know.” he replies. 

“Good. We’re gonna need you.” I state with a small smile before walking off towards Daryl.

As I came to the spot where Daryl had sat himself on watch, I didn’t announce myself, knowing too well he would have heard my footsteps coming anyway, I just sit down beside him, without a word. As I grasp his hand, holding it in his lap, I rest my head on his shoulder. For a moment, we just sit in silence, enjoying having the other there.

“Are you good? I’ve seen something’s been eatin’ at you since Terminus. It the baby?” Daryl suddenly softly questions.

I knew exactly what he was referring to. Ever since the girls, it had quietly been eating away at me and so had the subsequent thoughts that followed what happened.

“I suppose that’s a small part of it, yeah.” I reply. I turn my head to face him, and see he was staring with a little concern at the vague answer, but I wasn’t ready to tell yet.

I let out a slightly pained sigh. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I can’t. –At least, not yet. –To be honest, I just need to forget it.” I answer sombrely, looking to him apologetically and I could see a kind of pity in his eyes. “Alright.” He mutters between us.

As he plants a kiss on my forehead, we both suddenly hear leaves rustle ahead of us in the distance. The faint noise makes us both instantly look forward towards it, when it’s followed by a small, low twig snap, making Daryl jolt to a stand, stepping forward a few steps. He holds his hand up behind him, gesturing me to move as I rose to my feet in caution. Nothing followed. No walker appeared, or anything.

“It’s nothin’.” Daryl mumbles quietly as we look around us in the dark before he comes back to sit in the same position. It could have been nothing, but it could have been something.

The following morning, after we’d gathered ourselves, we continued our trek through the woods. Daryl had gone off a little earlier, trying to scout out any tracks around the group after what we’d heard last night. It didn’t sit right with either of us. As we all walked through the woods, with mostly everyone carrying kinds of assault rifles, I carried Judith next to Rick at the front of the group. I had my katana on my back, as well as a handgun and knife on my belt, so there was no need in my mind to carry one, and after looking after Judith with Tyreese, I was more than happy to hold her instead. While walking along, a figure suddenly comes up from the side of us in front. Everyone holds their rifles and guns up in reflex, only to see it was Daryl, accompanied by a string of squirrels in his hand. He’d obviously taken the opportunity of tracking to hunt while he was at it.

At seeing Daryl, everyone lowers their weapons as Daryl holds his hands up. “We surrender.” He chimes plainly, making the corner of my mouth arch slightly into a smile for a second. We all continue walking as Daryl comes up to Rick and I in front.

“No tracks. No nothin’.” Daryl informs.

“So whatever you two heard last night-,” Rick says.

“It’s more what we felt.” I refine.

“If someone was watchin’ us, there would have been something.” Daryl states.

After a few more strides, Abraham then joins us at Rick’s side.

“Ready to get some concrete under your feet?” he urges rather than questions. he’d been itching to head to Washington as soon as we left from Terminus. His and Rosita’s mission was to get Eugene there so he could work his scientific brain with this cure he had.

“I think it’s time.” Rick answers.

“That is sweet music to my ears, Officer. Take the next road we come to, try to get back to going north ‘til we find a vehicle. Good?” Abraham suggests.

“Good.” Rick replies and Abraham falls back into the group a little behind us.

After a little while of persisting through the woods, we suddenly hear cries for help in the distance. We all come to a stop at the sound as Rick holds up his arm in gesture for us to also. 

“Dad, come on.” Carl urges coming up to his side, Rick doesn’t move and Daryl and I look to him waiting to see what it is we’ll do. As the cries continue and Carl’s persistence does to, he finally gives in and moves off with him, all of us following behind towards the person’s yells for help. 

Having rushed in aid to whoever was calling out, we come to find the man on top of a big rock, trying to evade a few walkers that surrounded it, one of which had a grip on his foot. Carl, Rick, Daryl and a couple others come forward and start killing the walkers as the rest of us gathered around, keeping an eye on our surroundings. Once all the walkers were down, we moved closer to the others around the rock.

“We’re clear. Keep watch.” Rick orders and a few of the group move around behind to do so, while also watching on at the priest.

“Come on down.” Rick encourages to the man on the rock. At coming closer, behind Rick and Daryl at their side, I see the man was wearing an all-black suit which I thought was oddly formal, but then I also notice he is wearing a clerical collar. He was a priest. But still, that didn’t automatically mean he was a good person. This world had a way of changing even the most unlikely of people in the cruellest ways. I knew that a little too well.

The man climbs down from the rock, looking a little uneasy and disturbed by the scene of the dead around, and perhaps from the looks of us, we were armed and we were strangers.

“You okay?” Rick questions and not more than a couple seconds later, the priest pukes hunching over the ground. Oh, so that’s why he looked that way, I thought.

“Sorry.” He mutters standing back up straight, wiping his mouth. “Yes. Thank you. I’m Gabriel.” He answers.

“Do you have any weapons on you?” Rick asks.

Gabriel chuckles and looks around at the few of gathered around him, as if it was stupid question, but none of look amused, all of us looked at him with serious stares, which he reads.

“Do I look like I would have any weapons?” he replies, holding his arms out.

“We don’t give two short and curlies what it looks like.” Abraham chimes.

“I have no weapons of any kind. The word of god is the only protection I need.” Gabriel announces.

“Sure didn’t look like it.” Daryl states.

Gabriel nervously smiles. “I called for help. Help came.” He points out before looking around, still looking a little nervous.

“Do you have—any food? Whatever I-- I had left, it just hit the ground.” he asks.

“We got some pecans.” Carl says, holding his hand out for Gabriel to take some.

“Thank you.” He replies as he takes them from Carl.

Judith coos slightly in my arms which grabs Gabriel’s attention, looking both to me and Judith directly. He both a look of stun and delight on his face as he looks our way.

“You are with child.” He points out.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” I irritatingly state.

“That’s a beautiful child you have there too. She yours?” he questions.

“Does it matter?” I retort and his slight expression of delight at seeing Judith fades quickly at my somewhat cold reception.

He looks around at us all staring at him, going back to looking nervous again. “Do you have a camp?” he asks.

No. Do you? Rick quickly replies.

Gabriel looks a little hesitant to respond, but he does. “I have a church.” He declares.

“Hold your hands above your head.” Rick orders, sounding like he was losing his patience slightly with the man.

Gabriel complies and Rick proceeds to pat him down, checking for any weapons.

“How many walkers have you killed?” Rick begins, asking our three questions as he pats him down.

“Not any, actually.” Gabriel answers, which seems awfully surprising. How had he survived all this time without killing a single walker? No one was still alive in this world completely unscathed.

“Turn around.” Rick instructs, forcing him anyway as he says it.

“How many people have you killed?” he questions, continuing to search him.

“None.” Gabriel replies as he turns back around, after Rick finishes, looking a little stunned as to why he’d be asked that.

“Why?” Rick finally asks.

“Because the lord abhors violence.” He states.

“What have you done?” Rick questions suspiciously, thinking the same as me. Gabriel looks at him puzzled. 

“We’ve all done something.” I chime in.

Gabriel looks to me after my remark, before looking back to Rick. “I’m a sinner. I sin almost everyday. But those sins, I confess them to god, not strangers.” He declares. Yeah, he was definitely hiding something, but it seemed to me he was hiding from himself rather than hiding something from all of us.

“You said you had a church?” Michonne dials back. Looking over at her, he nods in response.


	4. four

Gabriel had been leading us to his church, which I had to admit, I was more than happy about. It would be a place with four walls and a roof, and Gabriel seemed harmless enough. A bit unsure of himself, overly nervous of things and was clearly hiding something, but harmless enough. It seemed legit, although, there was still cause to be cautious, just in case.

“Hey, earlier, were you watching us?” Rick asks Gabriel in front.

“I keep to myself. Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don’t you think?” Gabriel explains.

“Nah, people are worse.” Daryl states.

“Well, I wasn’t watching you. I haven’t been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I’d gone before today.” Gabriel answers.

“Or maybe I’m lying. Maybe I’m lying about everything and there’s no church ahead at all. Maybe I’m leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels.” Gabriel jokes, chuckling to himself, but turns around to see none of us amused, serious faces across all of us.

“Members of my flock had often told me my sense of humour leaves much to be desired.” He points out after reading our plain expressions.

“Yeah, it does.” Daryl agrees sternly, completely unamused. 

Gabriel keeps quiet for the rest of the way to the church and does still when we get there. The church was small, but it would be seeing as it was located in the woods. Nonetheless, it was something, it was shelter, and somewhere to rest. As Gabriel walks up the few steps to unlock the front doors, Rick stops him from opening them.

“Hold up.” he calls from the bottom of the stairs. “Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold onto our squirrels.” Rick pokes coming up to him at the doors and holding his hand out for the keys, which he is given.

Rick, Daryl and a few others sweep the place for anything inside as a few more searched around the outside, while I stayed with Carl and Ty, holding Judith out front waiting and watching Gabriel. It wasn’t long until they all came back out without event and Rick hands Gabriel back his keys.

I spent months here without stepping out the front door. If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising.” Gabriel points out as Rick and the others come out and down the steps.

“Thank you for this.” Carl says coming to Rick’s side at the steps, getting a look from him.

“We found a short bus out back.” Abraham announces as Gabriel heads inside his church. “It don’t run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn’t want it. looks like we found ourselves some transport.” He continues.

“You understand what’s at stake here, right?” Abraham questions Rick as I come forward with Judith, where Rick’s attention was.

“Yes, I do.” He replies, looking at Judith, not having looked at Abraham once since he started speaking.

“Now that we can take a breath-,” I start but is cut off.

“We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down.” Abraham interjects.

“We need supplies no matter what we do next.” I retort.

“That’s right. Water, food, ammunition.” Rick backs turning to head inside, Carl and I behind him.

“Short bus ain’t goin’ nowhere. Bring you back some baked beans.” Daryl chimes, following in after me, with the rest of the group behind us.

Coming inside to the front of the pews, Rick takes Judith from me as the group scatters around and I take a seat up front, taking in our current shelter for the next day or two. I noticed a large collection of opened tin cans of food in the front of the church ahead of us, that must have been his supply until he ran out.

“How’d you survive here for so long? Where did your supplies come from?” Rick questions Gabriel.

“Luck. Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me. the food lasted a long time, and then I started scavenging. I’ve cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one.” he answers.

“What kept you from it?” Rick asks.

“It’s overrun.” Gabriel states.

“How many?” Rick questions.

“A dozen or so. Maybe more.” Gabriel estimates.

“We can handle a dozen.” Rick assures.

“Bob and I will go with you.” Sasha offers coming forward to Rick before turning to her brother. “Tyreese can stay here, help keep Judith safe.” She suggests, which he looks more than happy to do. He had formed quite an attachment to her through our journey from the prison to Terminus.

“That’ll be okay?” Rick asks.

Ty smiles. “Sure. You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I’m right here.” he declares.

“I’m grateful for it.” Rick thanks, stepping over to him and hands him Judith. “And everything else.” He adds, Ty nodding in response.

“I’ll come to.” Michonne adds.

“I’ll draw you a map.” Gabriel announces.

“You don’t need to. You’re coming with us.” Rick states.

Gabriel looks to him, slightly nervous again. “I’m not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I’m no good around those things.” Gabriel argues.

“You’re coming with us.” Rick repeats staring, not giving him a choice, before turning to look at the rest of us.

“Alright. While we’re out on the supply run, a few will follow us; scavenge around for any ammunition or weapons and a couple others can do a water run. The rest of you stay here- maybe take a look at that short bus.” Rick instructs.

“We’ll look for ammo.” Glenn says next to Maggie, referring to them both.

“I’ll help.” Tara chimes, stepping forward to them.

Rick nods in approval. “Okay, then. Let’s move.” He orders and motions for them all to leave.

After the others had left, Daryl and I figured out roughly where it was we were using some maps we’d found in the couple small rooms at the front of the church. Having looked over them, we saw that there was a creek nearby, not a far walk away and left together with our large water bottles. It had been nice just walking along with Daryl, despite the fact we’d been doing that the last two days anyway, but it was just the two of us. Even though all we were doing was getting water, it had felt like old times when we’d gone into the woods together at the farm or done runs at the start of the prison together. We’d joked about it a little, reminiscing along the way before we sort of caught up on ourselves and the weight of our current circumstance coming back into mind.

“So what you think about this Washington gig?” I ask Daryl, after we’d had a moment of quiet.

Daryl shrugs a little as he mumbles. “Mm-mm. Worth a shot.” He answers.

“Why? You thinkin’ otherwise?” he questions.

“No. Just-- I guess I don’t know what I think about it. But I suppose there’s logic behind it. It’s gotta have some substantial shelter there. Wouldn’t be the worst idea. Especially for now.” I rationalise.

“You thinkin’ ‘bout the baby?” Daryl asks, but knows that’s exactly what I meant.

“I can’t deliver in the woods- on the run. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’ll bring just about every walker around down on us.” I concerningly point out.

“It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. We’ll get somewhere, we will. We have to.” Daryl assures, but it also sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He was obviously just as worried as me.

On the way back, carrying full bottles of water in our hands, we walked a different way back, along a road that took us back in the same direction. Since the gravity of the conversations had turned heavy, the walk back was a lot quieter. As we neared the end of the road, now a short straight shot away from the church into the woods, Daryl queried about our recent events.

“Hey, I get it.” he suddenly chimes. “Whatever happened-- you don’t wanna talk ‘bout it. But are you okay?” he questions.

“Gotta be.” I reply.

“What happened before, is over. We get to start over. All of us with each other. You did that. You saved us, all by yourself.” Daryl explains.

“We got lucky. We should all probably be dead.” I point out sombrely as we near the end of the road and we both spot an abandoned car.

“Let’s check it.” I announce. “Alright.” Daryl responds.

When we get to the car, Daryl gets inside and checks if it’s running, when I hear the engine only faintly sputter, I have my answer. It was dead, or near enough. As Daryl gets out, shaking his head at me, telling me what I already knew, I try to open the boot, but it’s locked. I hold my hand out for the keys as he comes up to the back, but he just stands there looking at me with pitiful eyes.

“We ain’t dead.” Daryl starts. “And whatever happened, happened. Let’s start over.” he states as he hands me the keys.

“I want to.” I softly reply, fiddling with the keys. What he said was right, and after it all, we all had to start over. It was just going to be hard.

“Well, you can.” He retorts. I look at him with sad eyes and give him a small nod as I turn to the boot and open it. There wasn’t much in it but that was an emergency starter, that could be useful. Whether we potentially needed it for the bus or this car, being it could be a backup vehicle. I pressed the button to turn it on and it had some power left, so I turn it off to conserve its battery and close the boot.

“We should leave this here as a backup in case things go south at the church. It’s an extra set of wheels.” I suggest looking back to Daryl and he nods.

“Want me to carry one of those?” Daryl asks as I pick up my two big water bottles but as he gestures forward, already holding his own, he accidently drops one from his hand. Both of us look at the bottle on the ground before I look back up to Daryl with a smirk. He wipes his eyes in grievance. “No. I think I’m good.” I chirp with a chuckle. And we head into the woods towards the church as Daryl picks up his bottle.

After everyone had returned from their supply runs, it was nearing the last leg of light of the day and Rick’s group were the last to return. Glenn, Maggie and Tara had returned from the town without them a lot earlier, having found only three silencers, but it was something. When Rick and the others did finally return, they hadn’t come nearly empty handed, quite the opposite. They had two full trolleys with stacked boxed full of food. A real good haul. So good, that it lifted everyone’s spirts for a while that night. When we were all eating that evening, sat around the front of the church, everyone for the moment was happy. Even Ty and I. The both of us had been a little down since the grove but being around everyone, laughing, chatting, eating and drinking, it made you forget for a while; we didn’t get many moments like this anymore. I sat on the floor with Daryl, leaning on him as we ate with his arm around me holding me close, with Rick next to us in his own world holding Judith as they both ate. It was a content moment to see everyone this way. Gabriel had allowed us to drink the communion wine between us all, all except me and Carl of course. Rick had offered him some, but he declined with a knowing smile, making me smile in turn at the memory of when he’d tried some way back at the CDC. How far we’d come since then.

“I’d like to propose a toast. So y’all raise your glasses-- those of you who can anyway.” Abraham calls out, poking at me towards the end with a smirk as he stands around us all, the group beginning to quieten.

“Very funny, big man.” I retort with an unamused smile. The day we actually get to have some booze and I can’t have any.

“I look around this room- and I see survivors. Each and every one of you, has earned that title. To the survivors.” Abraham toasts, raising his glass in the air as everyone else mirrors. “Survivors! Cheers!” everyone cheers, taking sips of their drinks and I feel Daryl kiss the top of my head, I look up to him with a smile until Abraham continues on with his speech.

“Is that all you wanna be?” Abraham suddenly chimes, the tone taking a serious turn. “Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? ‘Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that’s just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip.” He declares. Everyone looks at him, and around, in silence; they knew it wasn’t their call to make. It was Rick’s.

“Eugene, what’s in DC?” Abraham questions for him to announce.

“Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart.” Eugene explains.

“However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you’ve been since this whole thing started. Come with us. save the world for that little one. And the other you’ve got brewing in there.” Abraham continues, referencing Judith and my unborn baby, making me feel a little uncomfortable at the direct mention. “Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there- who don’t got nothing left to do except survive.” He finishes.  
Everyone looks to Rick in silence, myself included next to him, waiting for a response. He looks across us all, before landing on me and Daryl next to him as he held Judith in his lap still. Looking at us, he chuckles a little before turning back to her in his lap. 

Judith coos. “What was that?” Rick questions, getting a couple light laughs from some people, along with a few smiles. “I think she knows what I’m about to say. She’s in. If she’s in, I’m in. We’re in.” Rick announces and the group smile and cheer a little while a shiver of relief washes through me.

A moment later, Rick gets up with Judith and goes to sit with Carl and Michonne, handing her to Carl as people resume to laugh and chat together. Glenn and Maggie, our resident married couple, were embracing each other, Bob and Sasha were sharing a kiss, now together since the fall of the prison. Looking around, everyone was happy. Holding Daryl’s hand, I squeeze it as I look up to him again, planting a kiss on his lips as I was going to do before. As I lay my head back down on his shoulder, Tara then sits herself right where Rick had been next to me. I hadn’t actually talked to her much since we all got back together at Terminus, hardly at all really but she seemed nice, but she currently seemed a little nervous.

“You okay?” I ask her as she’s sitting beside me.

“Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to, erh, talk to you.” She replies.

“I’ll let ya talk.” Daryl chimes, moving slightly to get up, clearly sensing her nervous tone as I had done.

“No, you don’t have to.” Tara says, stopping him from moving. “Leave, that is. You can hear this too.” she adds, as Daryl lowers himself.

“I was at the prison. With the Governor.” She declares, looking directly at me. 

“I know.” I state gently.

Tara looks at me a little shocked. “You do?“ she questions.

“Glenn told me.” I answer.

She takes a sigh of breath. “Well, Glenn told me what he did. To all of you-- and to you. --I didn’t know who he was or what he could do. And I didn’t know who all of you were. I came over to tell you, ‘cause I-- I just didn’t want it to be hidden. That I was there.” Tara explains.

“You’re here with us now.” I comfort, taking her hand and I can see the emotion in her eyes at the acceptance. 

Looking away from her, I start to push myself up from the floor. “Well, I need some air.” I announce coming to a stand.

“You shouldn’t be alone out there.” Daryl says coming to a stand himself.

“I’ll be alright. I’ll be back in, in a bit.” I assure him with a smile. “Besides, I feel a little nauseous, and if I’m gonna puke I’d rather be alone.” I add before heading for the doors.

Sitting on the few steps to the church, I breathed in the outside night air and I did start to feel better. As I sat there, I wondered what was in store ahead for us in Washington. If Eugene was right, then it may be our way of surviving through this thing without having to worry anymore. Now Rick had agreed, we’d be leaving no doubt tomorrow morning, seeing as Abraham and a few others had got the short bus fixed up today. Then I suddenly thought about the car Daryl and I had found today. We’d left it there as a back up with the emergency starter. I thought again how having another vehicle was a handy thing to have, and with the starter in it we could use it if either of them needed it. It was only a quick shot through the woods to where it was at the end of that road, so I decided to take a walk to it and bring it back to the church for the morning. The idea of a walk in the fresh air appealing a lot to me after feeling nauseous.

It didn’t take me long to get to the car at all and going through the woods carefully and quietly, I didn’t meet a single walker. I’d got the emergency starter out from the boot of the car and hooked it up to the engine, bringing it to life with ease this time. With the car now running, I carried the starter back around to the boot and as I was placing it back in the boot, I heard a low moaning emerge from the woods to my side. Looking over, a single walker appeared out from the treeline beside me and as I went to unsheathe my katana, reaching over my shoulder to grab it, it then fell to the ground with a thud. A familiar arrow stuck out its head and I looked up to see Daryl stood before me, a somewhat displeased look on his face.

“Back in a bit, huh? What are you doin’?” he questions gently.

“Wanted a walk. Figured I’d bring the car and starter back, just in case, you know.” I explain. He seems to let out a slightly exasperated sigh that I come out here alone just as we suddenly heard the sound of a car approaching. It was coming along the road ours joined at the end of. We both moved for cover by the boot as it got closer to pass but as it did Daryl ran from around the car to get a look at it as it passed. As I moved up along the side of the car looking over at him, he stood on the road looking ahead at the speeding car for only a quick moment before he was suddenly running back and around ours.

“Get in the car!” he orders to me as he rushes to the back. I look on at him with confusion as to what was going on when he then starts to smash the brake and other lights at the back of the car.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaim. 

“They got Beth! Come on, get in the car!” he calls as he smashes the second side of lights. Beth? I thought she hadn’t made it out the prison? Not seeing her with the group, I assumed she was dead. I didn’t have time to think, I just had to get in the car. I got in at my side as Daryl came around to the drivers and at the slam of both our doors, the tires squealed, and we then sped off after the car.


	5. five

Bob had woken up dazed, the last thing he remembered was being outside the church when he felt a pain at the back of his head and then he woke up faced with the leader of Terminus, Gareth. He’d started babbling on about what had happened and what they were having to do now when he saw that half of one of his legs was missing and Gareth and his fellow few survivors were eating his leg right in front of him.

After only slightly composing himself a little, having been hyperventilating at the sight of his leg and the people eating it, Bob looked around and noted that they were sat, camped by a school. Gareth was now stood at a glass door to the building in front, where walkers were crowded inside against, snarling, clawing and pushing against the glass as the rest of them ate around their fire, where Bob’s leg was left cooking over.

“It’s probably pretty stupid to be here. Dangerous. I don’t know, maybe not. You can see the threat. That’s something. Looking at them makes me feel better about things. My mom used to say that every day above ground was a win. Doesn’t really apply anymore, but- you can still get some perspective.” Gareth explains, looking at the walkers inside. “The glass is gonna break sooner or later. Nothing lasts too long anymore.” he adds before turning back around to look at Bob.

“You know, we marked our way here so that we could find our way back after.” Gareth shakes his head. “So stupid, right? I mean- back to what?” he points out as he walks back over and crouches back down in front of Bob.

“It wasn’t just a trap. It was gonna be a choice. You join us or feed us. you know- bears-- when they start to starve, they eat their young. If the bear dies, the cub dies anyway. But if the bear lives-- can always have another cub. That was part of the pitch.” Gareth begins.

“You know, Greg and Mike came this close to nabbing that pregnant bitch who killed my mom. She drove away with the archer. Greg saw them pull away. Can’t wait to try her. I like women better. Most of us do. My brother Alex has--,” Gareth sighs, pausing. “Also currently dead because of Rick—he had a theory that it was because of the extra layer of fat that women have, you know, for childbearing. And that bitch is pregnant so, I bet she’s gonna taste great.” Gareth explains with a calm but evil look on his face, as Bob continues to look around with tears in his eyes. “Even the skinny girls have it, actually. Like that pretty one-- Sasha? I think pretty people taste better, too.” Gareth pokes, making Bob look to him in even more disturbance, hearing him name his love.

As Gareth takes another bite of meat, from Bob’s leg, Bob starts to cry. “We’re going to get all of them. But for starters, you’ll do just fine. We did a good job on your leg. We’ve had practise. When we started, it was about making it slow.” Gareth begins but stops himself as Bob’s sobs get louder. “I’m being a human being here. I’m talking to you. Perspective, Bob. Your above ground. At least you’re better off then them.” Gareth points out, referring over to the walkers at the door of the building, as Bob’s sobs turn into laughs. The few others of Gareth’s group get up from around their fire and move to stand behind Gareth, all looking at a laughing Bob.

“Well, he lost it.” A man chimes.

“Lasted longer than I thought he would.” A woman adds.

“You-- you idiots.” Bob says, his laughs getting louder.

“Okay, keep it down.” Gareth orders, as the pounding from the glass door gets a little harder.

Bob lowers his laughs as he moves his shirt off of his shoulder to show them the walker bite, he had got and hidden from everyone during the supply run that day. “I’ve been bitten, you stupid pricks! I’m tainted meat.” Bob exclaims, resuming to laugh loudly as Gareth’s group started to spit out the bites they’d taken in panic, a couple throwing up.

“Let’s just kill him now.” A guy says, stepping towards Bob with his knife in anger but Gareth stops him.

“No, no, we need him.” He protests.

“We might as well be eating one of them.” Another man points out in worry.

“What the hell’s gonna happen? Are we gonna turn? Are we just gonna die?” A younger man exclaims.

“Albert, calm the hell down. We cooked him. Everything is gonna be fine.” Gareth assures standing and looking around at his group.

“Why the hell didn’t you check him first?” The woman questions another guy.

“’Cause he was fine.” The guy answers.

“Tainted meat!” Bob yells. “Shut up.” Gareth says.

“You eating tainted meat!” Bob shouts. “I said shut up!” Gareth spits and kicks Bob unconscious. 

-

After the group had realised that Bob and both Y/N and Daryl were missing, Rick, Sasha and Tyreese had gone looking in the woods around the church. After not finding them, but seeing that someone was watching them, they’d gone back suspecting Gabriel had something to do with it. However, after confronting him and figuring he probably didn’t, Glenn had announced something was laid outside the front of the church. They’d gone outside to see it was Bob, and half his leg was missing. After bringing him inside, he explained to everyone what happened with Gareth and his small group of cannibals that survived Terminus. Rick had asked if they had Daryl and Y/N, to which Bob could answer with the information Gareth had mentioned, saying they drove off somewhere, earning a few confused looks between the group. That’s when Bob finally revealed his bite, showing the group his inevitable end, after Sasha asked for any pain killers they might have had, not wanting them to waste them.

Gabriel had pointed out that there was a sofa in his office, one of the front mini rooms in one of the front corners, that they could make Bob comfortable on. After sha and a few others moved him inside, Rick questioned Gabriel about where the school was as Maggie and Glenn came out the office, back amongst the group gathered around the front of the church.

“Does he have a fever?” Rick asks Maggie.

“He’s just warm.” Maggie answers.

“Jim lasted almost two days before we left him.” Glenn points out, thinking back to the first initially surviving bitten member, at the start of their group way back in the Atlanta camp.

“Time for a reality check.” Abraham calls from the middle of the aisle, his rifle in hand, as if ready to go. “We all need to leave for DC right now.” he announces.

“Daryl and Y/N are gonna be back. We’re not going anywhere without them.” Rick states as the group looks on at Abraham and Rosita joins Abraham’s side.

“I respect that, but there’s a clear threat here to Eugene. I need extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y’all won’t come, good luck to you. We’ll go our separate ways.” Abraham retorts, turning and taking a few strides up the aisle, along with Rosita.

“You leaving on foot?” Rick sternly questions, stopping them both.

“We fixed that damn bus ourselves.” Abraham points out as they both turn around.

“There are a lot more of us.” Rick warns marching up to Abraham.

“You want to keep it that way? You should come.” Abraham suggests.

“Y/N saved your life. We saved your life.” Rick points out, annoyed.

“Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone’s.” Abraham exclaims, raising his voice.

“We’re not going anywhere without our people.” Rick states.

“Your people took off.” Abraham spits.

“They’re coming back.” Rick snaps.

“To what, picked over bones?!” Abraham yells.

“You’re not taking--,” Rick starts, going to grab a hold of Abraham but he aggressively swipes him away. “Do not lay hands!” he shouts.

“Abraham!” Rosita calls, trying to calm him from behind.

“Hey, hey, stop! Now!” Glenn yells, getting in between Rick and Abraham, pushing them away from each other. 

He turns to Abraham. “Do you really think that you’re gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?” Glenn questions him, knowing they wouldn’t be.

“Yeah.” Abraham nods nonetheless.

“What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together.” Glenn points out but Abraham says nothing.

“I have an idea.” Tara announces, brushing past Rick to stand with Glenn. “If you stay just one more day and help, I’ll go with you to DC no matter what.” She elaborates, before turning to face Rick. “Okay?” she says.

“Glenn and Maggie too.” Abraham demands.

“No.” Rick quickly shuts down.

“Good luck then. Rosita grab your gear.” Abraham orders.

“Abraham-,” she begins in gentle protest but is cut off. “Now.” he interjects.

“Eugene, let’s go.” He calls over to him, who is sat in the pews, but doesn’t move. “Eugene. Move it.” He sternly orders.

“I don’t want to.” Eugene argues. “Now.” Abraham growls. “Okay.” Eugene mutters and gets up from his seat, walking his way past the others up the aisle to Abraham and Rosita.

“You’re not taking the bus.” Rick coldly states as the three of them began to walk up the rest of the aisle, stopping them once again.

“Try to stop me.” Abraham retorts, turning around.

Rick stands in his spot for a moment, until he starts walking up the aisle towards him. Abraham squares up facing him on his approach, but Glenn gets in the middle of them again.

“Wait, wait, wait. Hey.” He exclaims, keeping them apart.

He faces Abraham. “You stay—you stay and help us, and we will go with you.” Glenn announces, gesturing back to Maggie, as well as Tara, as the ‘we’.

“No.” Rick sternly protests, once again.

“It’s not your call.” Glenn tells him before looking back to Abraham.

“You stay, help us.” Glenn reiterates.

Abraham stands there for a moment, contemplating his words. “Half a day. Come high noon, we’re taillights. I’m not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop.” Abraham announces.

“And we will leave with you.” Maggie assures from behind.

“12 hours. Then we go.” Abraham states and then brushes past Rick, striding back to the front of the church.

-

In the car as we followed the car up front, I’d asked Daryl about Beth; what exactly we were following and headed towards. Turns out he’d got out the prison with Beth and they’d survived out here together; she wasn’t dead.

“So it was just you and Beth after?” I question.

“Yeah.” Daryl simply answers.

“You save her?” I ask.

“She’s tough. She saved herself.” He states. “We were out there for a while. We got cornered, she got out in front of me, and- I don’t know, she was gone. I came out and a car’s pullin’ out with a white cross on the window.” He explains.

“Just like that one?” I question, looking at the car we were following up ahead at a distance, seeing the white cross painted on the back of its windshield like he mentioned.

“Yep.” He confirms.

“Rick’s gonna wonder where we went.” Daryl points out.

“Yeah. Not much we can do about that now though.” I reply.

Our headlights were off, so the car ahead wouldn’t know they were being tailed, so it was hard to see if we’d past any signs, but I was sure we hadn’t yet. The moon was proving the slightest of lights, so I tried my best to spot any, trying to figure out a rough idea of where it was we were gonna end up.

“Tank’s runnin’ low.” Daryl announces.

“Well, then we could end this quick- end it now. Just run ‘em off the road.” I suggest.

“Nah, we’re good for a bit.” Daryl assures.

“If they’re holding her somewhere, we can get it out of the driver.” I point out.

“Yeah, but if he don’t talk, we’re back to square one.” Daryl retorts.

“True.” I agree.

“Right now we got the advantage. We’ll see who they are. If they’re a group, see what they can do. And then we’ll do what we gotta do to get her back.” Daryl explains just as I spot a sign going past.

“They’re heading north, I-85.” I announce, and both of us glance at each other, knowing where that led. They were driving towards Atlanta, which didn’t exactly put me at ease. The last time I was there was back at the start when we first met the group, now we headed straight back to it.

“So, back to where we first met. Some anniversary, huh?” I say, the both of us shared a grieved look. In other circumstances that would have probably been a joke, but in this one, it was more a depressing passing thought.

We tailed the car, unsurprisingly, into Atlanta, carefully and slowing following it through the city. It felt strange driving through it, and it looked even more like a graveyard now than it had before. At one point, I’d even seen the tank. The one Rick, Sophia and I had clambered into before we heard Glenn over the radio. That was probably the strangest moments of all coming back into it. Being reminded of essentially, where it all began.

When the car finally stopped somewhere in the city, we stopped a distance behind, watching. The car didn’t switch off and no one got out either.

“What the hell’s he waitin’ for?” Daryl questions after a moment, but then the lights of the car switch off.

We watch someone get out the car, followed by another getting out and standing hanging on the door. “There’s two of ‘em then.” Daryl points out.

“Is that-- are they cops?” I question, just making out a police uniform on one of them. 

The guy standing, leaning on the door, gets back inside the car as the other walks off to the side somewhere and we lose sight of him as he does; a building we were parked next to blocking the view. Sitting there for a moment, waiting to see when or if the man would return, a walker suddenly bangs on my window, making the both of us jump. I sigh in disgust and relief at seeing the thing, before the both of us continue watching for the man to return as the walker continues to thud on my window. Shortly after, the man appears and starts moving things out the way of the road close to his car. So, he’d been clearing a path to drive through. He then comes back to the car, but suddenly stops at his door. He looks straight in our direction, probably hearing the walker thud on our car. I worry for a second that he’s clocked us but then he clearly dismisses it and gets back into his car. Their lights come back on and they turn onto the road. As they start driving off, Daryl tries to start our car but the engine sputters.

“Aw, shit. Tank’s tapped.” Daryl says as I look around at where we were.

“They’d have taken the bypass and they didn’t. They must be hauled up in the city somewhere.” I point out just as we start to hear faint snarls outside the car ahead.

If we could hear them at a distance through the car, there’d be too many to take on. Looking ahead the start of a large group started to appear and if we didn’t get out of here, we’d be surrounded. The only place I knew of nearby, wasn’t one I exactly wanted to revisit, but I had a pretty good bet it was still secure.

“We gotta move, find someplace to haul up ‘till sunlight.” Daryl urges.

“I know a place, just a couple blocks from here. We can make it.” I announce, unsheathing my knife from my belt. I roll down my window a little and stab the walker outside my door before I get out.

After leaving the car, we quickly made our way to the place I mentioned. There were walkers scattered around the streets but moving fast we were able to dodge them. The herd that started to appear ahead of the car had seemed to be moving in our direction and even when we’d got to the building, I could hear them in distance. Daryl was trying to pry a door to the back of the place open and had been trying for a little while. I had to kill a few walkers that were approaching us as he did but he finally got it open just as the herd was starting to come pass the large alleyway we were in, so we rushed inside.

Now that we were inside, I was having major déjà vu. Even though it had been now over a decade since I’d been in this building, I knew exactly where to go. It was like I unlocked a part of an old memory and it was all there. The building was eerily quiet, and we didn’t come across a single walker as I led us both through the building. We had come across a few dead ones though, one being near the door we had to go into. It was laid ahead of it in the hallway. I looked over it and found the keys I thought it might have on it; knowing I’d need them, I grabbed them before we went inside. It led into a small office, which had a steel door we were going to go through, hence why we needed the keys.

“You used to work here or somethin’?” Daryl asks as he follows me through the office, shining his torch around the room.

“Something.” I answer vaguely, fumbling with the keys, trying them in the door until I got the right one.

Once we were in, I made my way through the first corridor of the place we were in as Daryl closed the door before coming up behind and following. To each side of me were bedrooms, and there was a common room somewhere, fitted with a kitchen and other homely things. If we kept following the corridor, you’d just see the same. You’d come to another section of rooms with a common area. there was a few and they were all connected. The only way out was through the door we’d come in; that’s how I knew we’d be safe in here. I didn’t have to follow the corridor long until we came to a specific room, the one I had been given when I came here.

“What’s this place?” Daryl questions, as we come into the small bedroom, fitted with only a bunkbed and a desk with an accompanying chair and lamp, just as I remembered it.

“It’s temporary housing.” I answer stepping further into it.

“You come here?” Daryl asks as I stand in front of the desk.

“We didn’t stay.” I clarify as he stands beside me while I take my katana of my back and lay it on the desk. As Daryl starts taking his crossbow off to do the same, I look over at the bunkbeds. The sheets from the people who had been living in the room when the world went to shit had left one with grey sheets on and one with pink sheets on. I knew I wouldn’t be hopping up onto the top bunk with the pink sheets, but I decided to poke fun anyway.

“I’ll take the bottom bunk. I think the top’s more your style.” I joke, nudging at Daryl’s side with a slight smirk. He looks over at the bunkbed and chuckles at seeing the pink sheets, as I move to stand by the window.

“You should sleep. I’ll take first watch.” I announce as he sheds his angel winged jacket.

“I could definitely argue the opposite.” He states looking over but looking at my bump before looking up at me. “Besides, this is locked up pretty tight.” He points out. I knew he was right, it’s why I brought us here, but a part of me still wanted to keep an eye out.

“I know.” I reply.

“Then we’re good, then.” He retorts, sitting himself on the edge of the bottom bunk, staring. I stare back, until he pats on the bed for me to come over, reiterating I didn’t need to keep watch. I roll my eyes a little as I give in and come sit myself next to him on the bottom bunk, immediately laying back onto it. I stare up above me, in thought for a moment. About what it was we were actually working towards now, and if, after everything, I was prepared to move forward.

“You said we get to start over.” I state after a long pause of silence.

“Yeah.” He says, twisting his back to look at me laying on the bed.

I rise back up into a sit, looking at him as he looked in me, waiting for my point. “Are we? –Are you?” I ask.

“I’m tryin’-- been tryin’- with you. Now we both gotta keep tryin’.” He answers.

“Yeah.” I reply, looking down nodding slightly. “You’re not how you were before-- when we were last here.” I point out. “Maybe I’m not either.” I add deflatingly, hanging my head still.

“Why don’t you say what’s really on ya mind.” Daryl urges.

“I don’t think we get to save people anymore.” I state.

“Then why are you here?” Daryl questions.

I look back up at him. “I’m trying.” I reply before laying myself back down to the bed. Daryl then does the same and we lay there, with another pause in the air.

“You been holdin’ onto to somethin’ ever since Terminus. It’s eatin’ at ya, I can see it. What you said-- ‘bout not gettin’ to save people anymore. That ain’t you.” Daryl begins. “You stayed and probably saved Merle, right here in this city. Not to mention others along the way, right up to us all at Terminus. That person woulda never said that.” He continues. “You said you don’t wanna talk about what happened. Sooner or later, you gotta let it out. You just gotta.” He finishes.

I can see in the corner of my eye that his head is turned and is staring right at me, but I can’t look at him because I know I’ll crumble when I see his eyes. For a brief moment, after hearing his words, I start to think I should. That maybe he’s right. But just as I think I’m about to talk about it, a distant bang sounds from down the corridor somewhere, bringing us both up to a sit. We immediately get up and grab our weapons, leaving the room to investigate the sound. Following the thuds into another section of the housing, this one has doors into the rooms with slightly frosted glass. So, when we finally come to the noise, we see a walker figure against the inside of a door. Daryl shines his torch on it briefly and I see it was a woman. It was very weak, there was no way it would break through the glass of the door. Then suddenly, at the long, also frosted, window that was going up along the door, a small child walker comes up against it and joins in at clawing and snarling with it’s most likely dead mother. At seeing them both there like that, the display of them both there, in that room, in this place, my face drops and it stirs an emotion inside of me because it makes me think about Sophia. About the two of us. How we were here when I was younger, and she was just a baby. How I had thought I could take care of her by myself after we’d been put into a home. I’d run away to here, although we’d only stayed for like a day and half until I went back to our new home, realising I had no idea how to take care of a child. And now seeing these two walkers behind the glass, it made me sad thinking about the past, and only reminding me that Sophia had been exactly like that child behind the glass. Right up until I put her down, out of mercy more than anything. Thinking about that, now just made me feel pity for the two walkers we were looking at. They deserved to be put out of their misery too. I start to move towards the door but as I get near it, Daryl touches my arm, stopping me.

“You don’t have to.” he softly says as I look to him, holding tears back.

I ignore his words and go for the doorknob, but he leans in front of me and rests his hand on top of mine on the doorknob. “You don’t.” he reiterates, stopping me once again. I just stare down at the doorknob, before closing my eyes. I feel a couple tears roll down my cheeks after I do and turn away from the door and Daryl, heading back up the corridor to our room. When I get there, I let my katana drop to the floor and lay down on the bottom bunk, turning myself away to face the wall as Daryl comes in. I hear him pick up my sword and place it on the desk, along with his crossbow. As he gets on the top bunk without a word, I silently let my tears fall until I eventually drift off into a sleep.

When I woke the next morning, I rolled onto my side, facing out into the room and out our window, which backed out onto a roof. I saw black smoke blowing past and I knew that someone would have had to have made a fire or burnt something to create it out there; nothing was going to be on to be blowing out any fumes out there. I got off the bed and looked up onto the top bunk to see Daryl wasn’t there. What was he doing? I grabbed my sword, strapping it to my back as I left the room. I went along the corridor, seeing which room had its door open. When I went in the one that was open, it was the common room, and the window was open too. I walked over to it and saw outside on the roof Daryl had made a fire. He was burning the walkers we’d seen last night. Seeing him do this made me emotional instantly, it was the gesture and mercy of it that brought tears to my eyes, once again. He’d done it so I didn’t have to, and I was grateful for it. I was suddenly also grateful for another reason because seeing the wrapped body he hadn’t put on the fire yet, it was the child’s. Looking at it made me think about when Ty and I had to bury the girls, back at the grove. I was grateful I didn’t have to do that, even if I didn’t know them. I didn’t want to ever have to bury another child again. Climbing out the window, I watched him lift the child’s wrapped body and as gently and closely as he could, he placed it on the burning mother’s body. He stepped back from the fire as I came to his side. Looking down at the burning bodies, I grasp his hand and lean my head on his shoulder. I feel his grip tighten around my hand as mine does.

“Thank you.” I whimper.


	6. six

After we left the bodies to burn away, we gathered our things from the room and left, which I was more than happy to do. We had found a bag in one of the rooms and filled it with supplies that would be useful for however long we were here. There wasn’t much in it; we hadn’t found any food but we had found a couple water bottles, among other things. I handed some magazines to Daryl to put in the bag, which got me a confused look, but I figured they would be handy if we needed to distract the walkers around the streets if we burned them. The car we followed was headed downtown, so we decided to get up in one of the tall buildings, to get a view and see what we could see.

Once we left, we moved across the streets, headed for a tall building near downtown. Keeping close to walls and stealthily but speedily going up streets, we came to the building we’d spotted and chose to get up into. Peering around the corner of a building at the end of it’s street, we saw that our building was split in two and had a couple bridge crossways between the smaller half and the bigger. It looked as if we’d have to get into the smaller part where the building seemed to lead vehicles of whoever used to work in this building to park, to get in the easiest way. But the roadway to get to it was covered in a cluster of walkers.

“Alright, we can get up there. See the bridge.” Daryl whispers. 

“Yeah. Gotta deal with the walkers first. We can burn a magazine.” I point out.

Ducking back behind the corner, I take a magazine from Daryl’s backpack, handing it to him as he gets his lighter from one of his pockets. Lighting it, letting it burn a bit for a moment, he then launches it across the road, landing it a bit ahead on the other side of the street. We wait until nearly all the walkers start staggering towards it and around it, clearing a path, before quietly and quickly rounding the corner, and keeping to the wall up the path towards the building. Getting to the car park entrance, Daryl sharply shoots a walker down in our way as we rush inside, grabbing his arrow as we pass the dead walker. We make our way across the covered parking lot, headed towards a door that would lead us into the building and once through it, we ascend a stairwell. When we eventually come to the covered bridge connecting the buildings, there are wriggling sleeping bags on the floor, a couple zipped up completely and some with the heads out of them. The walkers were stuck in them, as well as some in a few tents put up in the bridge. It was a bit strange to see. As we started stabbing the heads in the sleeping bags, I started to wonder it was a little weird to think they had died like this, or perhaps someone had put them like this. But then again, how could they of? I wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

“Some days, I don’t know what the hell to think.” Daryl says as we walk past the tents, watching as walkers trapped clawed out from the insides.

The doors at the end of the bridge had the handles chained together, but as I pulled one, it made an opening just big enough for us to fit through as the chain stopped it from opening any further. I took my katana off my back and put it through the opening before pushing my way through the opening, proving a little difficult with the bump but I get through. Daryl then pushes his bag through before himself, doing it with a lot more ease than I had.

“Good thing we skipped breakfast.” He chimes.

“Yeah, cause that would have made it difficult for me.” I joke with a slight smirk, nudging him as he came back to a stand.

Going up and through to round about the top of the building, which had been an office building once from the looks of it, the higher we got up, the more you saw the hierarchy of it. As we came to a spot we figured would be high enough near the top, the room we came in was a large, by my guess, expensively furnished office. Coming to the window, I looked out to see how sad the city looked. It no longer had colour and life, like it once had, it was no just a wasteland covered in a shroud of black and grey from being bombed back at the start. I had thought the tents were strange, this was even stranger to see, because it was our world now. Broken and in complete dismay. And I felt as if it had made the people left in it about the same.

“How did we get here?” I question as Daryl came to my side at the window.

“Mm-mm.” he shrugs. “We just did.” He replies.

Both of us standing there, looking out the window, I think back to what Daryl had said to me back in the room last night. 

“You’ve urged me to speak about what happened—but, you know, you still haven’t asked me directly what happened.” I suddenly point out. “After I met up with Ty—” I continue before stopping and letting out a sigh. “And the girls.” I add.

“You mean Lizzie and Mika? They were with ya?” He gently questions.

I nod sadly at the memory. 

“I don’t need to ask. You just told me. I know what happened. They ain’t here.” he announces.

“No. It was worse than that.” I state woefully, staring out the window.

I can see in the corner of me eye that he was looking at me and there’s a pause before Daryl speaks again.

“The reason I said we get to start over—is ‘cause we gotta. Me and you- we’re doin’ that.” He softly assures, making me look down to my protruding belly. “Yeah.” I mutter in agreement.

Shortly after, Daryl pushes his hand and face up to the window, having spotted something.

“You see something?” I ask.

“Right there.” he points against the glass for me to follow and see. I look and spot what it was he was pointing to, seeing a white van crashed against the edge of one of the main roadway bridges, with white crosses painted on both the two back windows.

“It’s been there a while. But definitely on of ‘em.” I point out, seeing it looked just as tattered as the road and bridge it was on.

“It’s definitely some kind of lead.” Daryl adds, continuing to stare out.

“We should fill up.” I announce, turning around and getting the water bottles out the bag as I’d spotted a water cooler when we came in the office. “Alright.” Daryl agrees.

Once I filled the bottles I turn to see Daryl staring at a painting on the wall, which I found a little funny. He didn’t strike me as an art fan.

“What?” I say to him, getting his attention and coming to his side.

“Bet this cost some rich prick a lot of money.” Daryl states as we both look at it. The painting was unusual, it had a swash of dark colours in swipes across the canvas. The more I looked at it, the more I liked it, actually.

“Yep. Probably.” I answer.

“Looks like a dog sat in paint, wiped it’s ass all over the place.” Daryl explains, gesturing to the movement of the painting.

His description makes me laugh a little. “Really? I kinda like it.” I point out.

Daryl turns and looks at me with face of almost disbelief and disappointment to which I just smile.

He snorts. “Stop.” he says, like I was making a joke, as he takes the water bottles from my hands.

“I’m serious.” I insist, holding my small smile as he put the bottles in the bag. “Clearing you don’t know me as well as you thought you do, redneck.” I playfully jab as I start walking for the doors.

“Yep, you keep tellin’ yourself that, fat ass.” Daryl retorts with a smirk joining my side as we left.

I scoff at him. “Mm, I have not missed that nickname.” I point out with a nudge.

Leaving the building, we come back to the chained doors to get back into the bridge. I hold my hands out for Daryl’s bag and push it through before myself, having to squirm my way through the opening. As I bring myself to stand and Daryl starts to push himself through with his crossbow in hand, I tell him to stop.

“Daryl, don’t.” I say as I come to a stand and is faced by a young man with an assault rifle pointed at me.

“Get up.” he orders. “Hands up, both of you.” He adds.

I put my hands up as Daryl brings himself through the opening. As he stands by my side, holding his crossbow, I can see the frustration in his face at the boy.

“Lay down the crossbow and whatever that is on your back.” He orders us.

“You got some sack on you.” Daryl sternly mutters.

“Look, nobody has to get hurt. I just need weapons, that’s it.” he snaps. “So, please, lay down your crossbow and your weapon.” He repeats at us and we reluctantly comply, laying the crossbow and katana on the ground in front of us. He didn’t ask for our knives.

“Back up.” he says and we take a couple steps back.

He moves forward, grabbing and strapping our weapons to his shoulder. “Sorry about this. You both look tough. You’ll be alright.” He states as he unsheathes his knife and cuts down the closest tent to let the walker out. We both unsheathe our knives at seeing him do this and stand waiting for the walker to come out as the kid walks backwards and does the same with the other two. As Daryl takes down the first walker from the first tent in front of us, the kid turns and runs. I hold my knife in my hand by its blade and just as I’m about to throw it at the kid, aiming for his lower leg, Daryl smacks my hand down, making me drop my knife. I glare at him for a second before picking it up as he moves in front and takes down the other two walkers. We both run ahead after the guy and hear a door slam and chains rattle as we come off the covered bridge. Getting to the door it came from, we try and push on it but it’s tightly chained, and we can’t get it to open at all. Seeing there wasn’t much we could do, we begrudgingly head back down to the car park below to leave, now without our main weapons.

Walking through the car lot, Daryl’s marching and look on his face I could tell he was mad at what had just happened and so was I. Which was why I felt the need to question him about it.

“We’re in the middle of a city. He was stealing our weapons. Did you think I was gonna kill him?” I annoyingly question, following behind him keeping up as we headed for the door to get out the lot. “I was aiming for his leg, maybe his foot. It wouldn’t have killed him, just slowed him down.” I point out.

“He’s a damn kid.” Daryl retorts.

“Without weapons we could die.” I state.

“We’ll find more weapons.” Daryl assures.

“Where? We don’t even know where to look. I don’t want you to die. I don’t want Beth to die. I don’t want anyone at the church to die. But I can’t stand around and watch it happen either. I wasn’t gonna kill him, I was just gonna stop him. We needed our weapons for what comes next. You think we can just stroll up to the place they got Beth with just our good intentions?” I babble in frustration.

“Well, this is what we’ve been dealt. We just gotta make it work. We’re still here. Tryin’.” Daryl snaps slightly, as he stops in the doorway before heading out of it.

We didn’t speak a word as we trekked our way through the streets and eventually onto the roadway bridge where the van was. As we approached it, the front of it was hang off the edge a little, having crashed into the side no doubt and busting the railing clean off, but that must have been what stopped it from completely going over. We stood at its back doors, with the white crosses painted on them, before Daryl carefully opens them. the van looked basically empty inside, but that didn’t necessarily mean that there weren’t any leads inside.

“Alright, let’s get this done.” Daryl urges.

“It’s not stable. I’ll get in, I’m lighter.” I coolly joke, after the encounter we had earlier.

Daryl looks at me unimpressed. “That’s a joke, right?” he points out.

“Yeah, it’s a joke.” I clarify with an amused roll of my eyes.

Daryl pushes himself up into the back of the van with a grunt, making the thing move a little and make a lot of noise. I look around to see the walkers to both sides of us up the bridge had started to gather and approach us. Their snarls getting loud from the noise, riling them up and is what made me notice them. We’d have to be quick because they were coming at us from closer than I liked, meaning we’d have fight through them soon enough with only our knives. Daryl eased himself up in the van, carefully moving forward to the front to look for anything. I moved a tyre on the ground in front of me and used it as a step to get into the van too. As I stand hunched in the back, Daryl is now in the driver’s seat, looking around still. I join him cautiously in the front, leaning over the passenger seat, joining in checking the sun visor and other things. After a moment, the snarls outside on the bridge get considerably louder, and I look out the window to see the group has quickly grown and were coming closer still. Too close; they were almost on us.

“There’s more coming. We’re gonna have to fight through.” I announce.

“Yeah, I see ‘em.” Daryl replies as he gets out from the driver’s seat into the back with me. He flips gurney as I step towards the back of the van. “We have to go.” I state.

“GMH, what’s that? A hospital?” He questions.

“I don’t know. Grady Memorial, maybe?” I theorise coming to the back to get out.

“Grady, the white crosses-- it might be where they’re hauling up.” Daryl states as he gets out behind me.

As we both stand out the van, walkers were now all around us. We were definitely going to have to fight through it, but it looked like there was too many to handle now. Both of us started to stab the closest walkers in front of us, but it wasn’t doing much good, we’d be overcrowded soon.

“Daryl!” I call.

“Go, go, go, go!” he calls back, pulling me back to the van and helping me back in. He takes out a couple more walkers before pushing himself back up into the van. I stagger up by the front seats and turn to see him hang onto the top of the van and kick a walker back with force before bringing himself in and slamming the back doors shut. The walkers outside were now all around the van and banging and pounding at it’s back and sides. Shit. 

“Anything we can use?” I exclaim, looking around.

“Nothin’ but what we got.” Daryl states moving to sit in the front seats, which was exactly what I didn’t want to do but it didn’t look like we had any other choice.

I follow Daryl into the front seats, sitting myself in the passenger side as he sits in the drivers. I start to breath heavy at the impending fall and impact we were gonna face, which panicked me somewhat.

“Alright, buckle up.” Daryl says as I already was.

The van was rattling and moving on the spot as the walkers pounded on it, not calming my nerves at all, just intensifying them, make me breath loudly.

“You hold on.” Daryl reassures, sensing my fear as he grabs my hand tightly. I squeeze it back even tighter in response, the both of us looking at each worryingly. I wrap my other arm around my belly and close my eyes just as the van jolts and then suddenly we were falling. The weightlessness and silence was extremely brief, until we landed with an astounding crash on the ground. The van had angled slightly, so on impact the front hit first, sending us forward against the dash before the back hit, bouncing us back against the seats. When the van was still, I finally felt the ache and pain of the impact, now all of sudden feeling pretty weak. But at opening my eyes, besides the ache and pain, we were fine.

“We’re okay. We’re okay.” I whisper looking at Daryl and down at stomach.

I smile at him weakly when a bang suddenly sounds on the roof of the van, followed by another on the front windshield, a walker’s head splattered against it. Some of them were being pushed over the edge. After several thuds, when they stopped falling we got out the van. The impact had killed them as they laid around and on the van dead. I staggered around the front of the van and found the pain in one of my shoulders wasn’t letting up and it hurt quite a bit. You could clearly see it in my face and walk because when I got to the front of the van on Daryl’s side, he put his arm around me, under my arm and around my back, supporting me as we walked back towards the inner city.


	7. seven

When we got back into the streets of the city, we ducked ourselves into an alley to catch our breath and compose ourselves for a moment. I sat on a step as Daryl stood in front of me, taking a drink of water. The pain in my shoulder had lessened but it still hurt a bit; the seatbelt must have given me nasty bruise. The fact it hurt to move my shoulder probably wasn’t good; I’d just have to grin and bear it until we got back to the church.

“Here.” Daryl says, holding the water bottle out for me to take.

“I’m fine.” I state.

“Prove it.” he retorts and I knew he wanted me to handle the bottle with my arm that I was weakly laying in my lap because of my shoulder. I go to grab the bottle with both hands slowly but wince a little at moving my shoulder and don’t move it anymore, grabbing the bottle with just my good arm to take a gulp.

I hand the bottle back to him. “How bad is it?” Daryl asks.

“I’ve had worse.” I assure, looking at him but his glare was insistent on seeing it. I peel my shirt back from the bruise as Daryl leans forward to get a good look at it, as I look down at it also. There was huge bruise across my shoulder where the seatbelt had been, and was already purple, nearing black, showing it was a deep bruise. Great. 

Daryl kicks at the ground in annoyance. “Damn, that was stupid.” He mutters, seemingly annoyed at himself.

“We made good time down.” I point out, trying to ease him with the bad joke. He scoffs at the joke, but neither one of us smile.

“There’s only three blocks between us and Grady.” I announce as Daryl sits next to me on the step.

“We need to find a place nearby, scope it out, see what we can see.” Daryl suggests.

“You really think we’re gonna find out what we need to know just by watching?” I question.

“It’s where we start. Besides, you need to rest that shoulder for a bit.” he replies. “Come on.” He gently urges with his hand out as he stands, a gesture to help me to.

We’d got into a building that was close enough to Grady Memorial that we could watch and scope out the place. Making our way up this building near the top too to get a good view, we come onto a floor that has dead bodies scattered around. I noticed the place looked like a lobby to the whole floor when faint snarls come from a weak walker on the floor, too weak to even move itself off or around the floor, and we see it has a hold of a machete. Daryl grabs it and kills the walker with it before we continue through the floor. At least we had one substantial weapon now. As Daryl loots around the floor, picking things up, I walk over to the window and see the Grady hospital ahead.

“It’s them.” I announce, making him come up to the window to look at my side.

“Alright. Let’s see what we see.” He says, handing me a packet crisps from a bag of vending machine snacks he’d found.

I sat at the large window as Daryl stands by me, both of us eating the crisps and snacks he’d found as we watched for anything looking over the building for a little while. The place looked derelict from the outside, but judging from the van, there had to be something going on inside. It had to be where Beth was.

“You said I ain’t like how I was before?” Daryl suddenly says, looking at me curiously.

“Yeah.” I answer. 

“How was I?” he questions.

“Looking back, its like you were a kid then. When we first met around here.” I answer. “Now, you’re a man.” I finish.

“What about you?” he asks softly.

I sigh a little. “Me and Sophia stayed at that shelter for a day and a half. I was fourteen, I ran away with her from the cabin with that couple we’d been put in, thinking I’d be able to look after her myself. I argued that I got her here, after all.” I start, pausing a moment. “After everything I’d been through, I didn’t trust anybody anymore. But I quickly realised I had no idea what I was doing. And they started getting suspicious here about our relationship-- our circumstances, my age- and, whatever else. So-- we left. Went crawling back to the home. It was the right decision, though, for both of us. But it didn’t mean my distrust vanished. I didn’t let hardly anyone get close, apart from the very few that looked after us. Through it all, I just kept hoping for something good to happen, that maybe eventually something would and Sophia would get to live a life away from the cruelty of the world, but then it never came, because this did.” I explain, looking out the window, referring to the walker filled world we now lived in.  
“I was angry at basically everything for a long time. For everything that had happened to me, and Sophia. Angry at the people in my past. Angry at the world. I kept everything at a distance.” I add.  
“But then Morgan helped me- he saved us right at the start, and I realised that I had to let it all go. ‘Cause helping people meant surviving. I quickly saw you couldn’t make it in this world without people. And who I was back then-- she got burned away. –And when I then met Rick, looking for his family—I don’t know what it was. I wanted to help him, and I hadn’t felt like that in a long time, or maybe ever really at the time. So that’s why I left with him. This stranger who had this insane determination to find the people he loved. It changed me again, into the person you met here back then. It’s why I stayed with Merle, and everything after that. I was trying to be the person I should be. That I had to be.” I continue.  
“I felt her coming back though, after we found Sophia. And then with Randall. But Dale-- he said don’t let what happened consume you, don’t let your anger on the world turn you into something your not. You’re a good person. That’s the last thing he said to me before he died. And seeing him like how he was on that field-- the part of myself that I’d let come back. She died when he did.” I explain.  
“But- you know-- now after everything that’s happened since, I’m not sure he’s right. I don’t know if I’m a good person anymore. If she’s now just been burned away too.” I add, staring out the window pained by the thoughts I was letting all out.  
“Everything now just- consumes you.” I declare.

“Hey.” Daryl says, getting me to turn my attention to him. “We ain’t ashes.” He states, holding a pitiful stare. “A lot of shit has happened, and we’ve lost people, but it don’t make ya a bad person.” He reassures tenderly.

I stare back at him with sad eyes, knowing what I was about to say out loud finally. “I killed Lizzie.” I announce sorrowfully and I can see the concern and sympathy in his eyes. “I had to put her down. And Mika. That’s what happened. But they weren’t walkers. They hadn’t been bitten.” I explain. “Lizzie had this thing about the walkers. She didn’t understand them right. And Ty and I found her one day, coming back from a hunt, standing over Mika’s body.” I sniffle, wiping my nose. “She’d stabbed her, and was waiting for her to turn. Trying to make a point, to make us see how she did. She’d said she had intended to do the same to Judith, so I had to do it.” I blubber. “I couldn’t have her around Judith, the baby when it came- she couldn’t be around people, not after that. She was infected with something other than the walker disease. So-- I had to put her down.” I weep, wiping my tears from my cheeks. 

“Think I’m still a good person?” I question, trying to compose myself as I hung my head in shame.

I look at Daryl who seems a bit stunned and pitiful still at hearing my confession. He crouches down in front of me after a moment and holds my hands gently. “You did what you had to do, alright? We might’ve changed, and maybe it ain’t for the better. But it sure as hell ain’t for the worse. What we do, is so we can keep others alive, as well as ourselves. You ain’t a bad person, Y/N. You’re just a survivor. And we gotta keep on doin’ that as long as we can, alright?” He declares.

I nod at him sadly in response. “Come here.” he whispers, sitting himself beside me at the window, hugging me around my good shoulder as I hold him back.

Coming out the hug, I sniffle and wipe at my face. Wanting to move away from the emotional confession. I take a big breath and let it back out in composure as Daryl stands in front of me. “You good?” he tenderly asks.

“Yeah. I will be.” I reply.

Shortly after, we suddenly hear a distance sound of a door slamming coming from somewhere on the floor. Looking at each other, we move away from the window and head to check it out. We follow the sounds of faint thuds down a hallway, until we start to hear snarls too. As we slowed at the corner of the hall, the noise louder and coming from around it, Daryl eases round until he walks out seeing there was no threat. I follow him around the corner to see a walker shot stuck against a pillar wall. But it was stuck to it with a familiar arrow lodged through its neck.

“Is that yours?” I question as we both look at it.

“Yeah.” Daryl confirms before killing the walker with the machete.

Just as Daryl goes to pull his arrow out automatic gunfire rings from close by, further down the hall somewhere. I rush past Daryl with my knife in hand as he pulls the arrow from the walker and turning another corner in the hall, I see the kid who stole our weapons wrestling with a walker right in front of me. He suddenly pushes it away from himself and at me. I go to take it down with my knife, but it slams right into me and presses on my shoulder, taking me down to the ground with it on top of me, I yelp out in pain and struggle against the walker. But Daryl quickly kills it with the machete and I push it to the side off me. I let out a groan in pain as I push myself up to a sit. Daryl helps me to my knees, but I push him on.

“I’m good. You go.” I mumble panting a little in pain and he looks a little concerned and unsure. “Go.” I repeat and he hesitantly turns away and runs after the kid.

I pull myself up and take a breath, before following after Daryl and the kid. Going further around the hallway, I hear a crash ahead before I see anything and rush forward to find the kid trapped under a large bookcase and Daryl getting up from floor. He’d trapped him under it. A walker appeared at the door, trying to get through the small opening it had with the bottom of the bookcase just about keeping closed enough so it couldn’t get through. The kid had clearly tried blocking the door with the bookcase until Daryl got him trapped beneath it. 

“Plea- please. I had to protect myself.” The kid pleads, not wanting to be left under the bookcase, thinking we’d leave him like that. Daryl was grabbing our weapons back from off the ground as the kid panickily pleas. 

“Why you followin’ us?” Daryl snaps as he hands my katana back.

“I- I didn’t, I swear! I thought you followed me.” The kid defends.

“Bullshit.” Daryl spits.

Daryl had noticed a pack of cigarettes under the bookcase and was picking them out as I noticed the walker was continually pushing itself through the gap and it looked as if it would eventually get through at some point. If we left the kid like this, he’d die. 

“Come on, man. Plea- please. Please. Please.” The kid implores, groaning under the weight of the bookcase on top of him.

Daryl takes a cigarette from the pack and puts the rest in his pocket. “Nah, I already helped you once.” Daryl points out coolly annoyed, putting the cigarette in his mouth. “Ain’t happenin’ again.” He states before lighting the cigarette.

I watch him stand over the kid, inhaling his cigarette and taking a few drags as he looks down at him. “Have fun with Hoss over there.” Daryl coldly mutters at the kid before stepping away to leave.

“No, no, no. No. No! Please! Please!” The kid continually repeats, pleading, as Daryl walks off, straight past me. But hearing and watching the kid beg for help and leaving him to die like this, I couldn’t do it. Trying to stop him was one thing. This was something else. This was leaving him for dead.

“Daryl. Daryl. Stop.” I call and he turns to look over at me.

“You almost died ‘cause of him!” Daryl exclaims irritated.

“But I didn’t.” I retort.

I stare at him, as he stares back, looking between me and the kid. “Nah, let him be.” He mumbles before walking off back down the corridor. “Daryl!” I call as he starts walking but he ignores me. I turn back to the kid and see the walker was about to come through the door. Taking my sword out with my good arm as the walker then pushes through the opening on the door. It falls onto the bookcase and I’m about to stab it with the end of my katana as it starts to claw towards the kid, when it’s suddenly killed with an arrow. I look back over to see Daryl back there with his crossbow aimed and I silently thank him, although I don’t show it on my face or say it, but I knew he knew. I drag the walker off the bookcase with a pained groan and as Daryl lifts the bookcase, I help the kid out from under it.

“Thank you. Thank you.” He pants coming out from under it and Daryl lets the thing fall back with a thud.

The kid moves himself to a stand and starts limping his way around the bookcase towards the window.

“You okay?” Daryl asks coming to my side, as I pull myself to a stand.

“I’m still here.” I state with a small smile.

“I gotta go. I gotta go. They’re gonna come. They probably heard the shot. If they find me--,” The kid starts to mumble to himself looking out the window.

The two of us share a glance, wondering who ‘they’ were. “Who?” Daryl questions.

“Them- people at the hospital.” He answers as he limps back towards us. 

Daryl blocks the kid, holding his hand out. “Wait, wait, wait, just tell us—is there a blonde girl there? You see a blonde girl?” Daryl asks.

“Beth?” The kid says, making Daryl and I look at each other again in surprise at hearing her name. “You know her? She helped me get out, but she’s still there.” he explains, seeing our stunned faces. I suddenly hear a car approaching outside and walk over to the window to see one below the building, now cruising by with a white cross on its back windshield.

“They’re coming.” I announce before turning back to the other two.

“We gotta go now. We gotta go. We gotta go.” The kid worryingly repeats, rushing past Daryl and we follow.

He brings us back down to the ground floor of the building, explaining what it was they had and were doing at Grady on the way. It was run by this woman called Dawn and her officer deputies, explaining the uniforms on the cops we tailed. They had a doctor and helped people, but he said it was all corrupt and once you were in you never left. But he had, and he admitted it was only because of Beth.

“The building opposite has a basement. It’s clear. We’ll be safe.” The kid announces, limping ahead as we all rush through the floor towards the front exit. He suddenly trips, exclaiming in pain a little at his injured leg and we both stop.

“Go, get in there. I got him.” Daryl urges for me to keep going to the building opposite. I keep rushing ahead, as Daryl helps the kid. I prop the front door open for them and then continue to hurry across the pavement and road over to the other side when I suddenly hear tyres screech and before I can even look, a sharp quick pain follows in my side and then one on my head quickly after before I’m knocked out cold at the sudden and rapid impact.

-

Daryl helps the kid up to get him towards the front door after telling Y/N to go on ahead, but as he gets him up and looks out, he watches her suddenly get hit by a screeching car coming to a stop too late, sending her onto the bonnet on her side before rolling off and flopping down to the ground on her back. She wasn’t moving and the sight of it, creating blind panic in him takes over. He lets go of the kid and scrambles to rush after her with a panicked cry, but the kid grabs him.

“No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!” he calls, holding him back best he could.

“Let go of me!” Daryl exclaims upsettingly, fighting against his hold, at seeing two guys, in cop uniforms, getting out the car coming around to Y/N.

“Wait! They can help her. They’re the only ones who can. They have medicine, machines, a doctor. You go out there, you’ll have to kill them, okay? And then she can’t get their help. Is that what you want?” The kid explains, trying to ease Daryl down, who continues to pant, breathing heavy in worry and feeling helpless at watching the two cops load Y/N onto a gurney and into the car.

“We can get her back. We can get Beth back.” The kid states as Daryl shakes his hold on him off as they then watch the car speed off.

“What’s it gonna take?” Daryl questions through his fretted breathing.

“A lot. They got guns- people.” The kid answers.

“So do we.” Daryl declares.


	8. eight

After being separated from Daryl, attacked by a walker and taken away saved by someone, Beth had been trapped in Grady Memorial Hospital for a few days, stuck in the, what she soon found out, corrupt place. It was run by an Atlanta police force, with a doctor, treating patients. They had patched her up, putting a cast on her wrist as it had been broken, from what they’d told her when she woke up. At first glance, it would have seemed they were doing good. Bringing people in they found that needed help and treating them. But it was a lot darker than that. The place had wards, and a few officers seemed to have one, which was what Beth had become when she arrived. Dawn, the policewoman in charge of everyone, the officers, the doctor, the wards, had made Beth her ward, as well as a kid named Noah who was already there. Beth had soon seen that some of the officers were far from nice, who seemed to have lost their morals, assaulting their wards in more way than one and Dawn turned a blind eye. She hadn’t much control over her officers and they all knew it. the patients they treated were also only kept alive and treated if the outcome seemed worth it. If patients showed no sign of improvement, they were considered a drain of resources and Dawn would savagely call it, terminating their treatment and their lives. It was brutal. Beth also learned that the more you took, the more you owed, it was all a corrupt system. You were stuck here. 

She’d thought the doctor, Edwards everyone called him, was the only seemingly nice and normal person there, but when he misleadingly led Beth to kill a patient, unbeknownst to her at the time, and he denied it after. He’d told her the medication to administer and when she did, the patient seized aggressively and died. Dawn was enraged as it had turned out the patient was a doctor and she wanted him recovered. Beth confronted Edwards and he eventually admitted it, explaining how if the guy survived, they wouldn’t need him anymore. Beth was disgusted, seeing how everyone here was corrupt, in their own ways. 

When she and Noah had started their escape plan, she was in Dawn’s office looking for a key they needed, when she found a dead ward in her office. It was one of the officer’s wards she hated. He was a sleaze and had been inappropriate with Beth more than once, making sleazy advances. Everyone knew he beat and assaulted his ward, so she knew he’d been the one to kill her. He had even come into Dawn’s office while Beth was in there and tried to assault her, but Beth smashed something over his head and he fell to the ground next to his dead ward who had just turned, biting and killing him. 

After that, she and Noah had tried escaping, with Noah only succeeding in it as Beth was caught. She was glad to see her friend get out, after he admitted he’d been there a year and wanted to get back to his family when she met him. Dawn had been furious after what happened with her officer and Noah but Beth proceeded to stand up to her, engaging in somewhat of a shouting match with her. Getting a hard hit to the face in the end. 

Being kept in this place angered Beth, and after everything she’d seen, she was ready to do something. She was ready to take down a few people. Starting with Edwards and Dawn. Only when she decided to try and take down one of them, approaching Edwards with the only thing she could arm herself with that she found, a pair of sharp scissors. A couple officers rushed someone into the hall on a gurney, where she was approaching Edwards and when she suddenly saw who was on the gurney, she stopped herself in stun at recognising the woman on it. It was Y/N.

-

Daryl and the kid, Noah, had got out Atlanta after Y/N got taken away and successfully made it back to the church in a truck they’d managed to wire from the city. Getting back that night, Daryl explained to Rick, Michonne and the people who were left at the church what had happened and they in turn explained where the rest of the group were, having left to go to Washington. Once they got Y/N and Beth back, that’s where they’d head and follow; Abraham leaving Rick a map with their chosen route marked on it with a message he’d wrote. But they also had to tell Daryl what had happened to Bob and how they killed Gareth and his group when they attacked. A lot of shit had gone down in his absence.

The group all worked to fortify the church as some of them would be leaving to head into Atlanta and only a couple were staying behind with Judith and Gabriel. Hacking at the pews, the group used the long pieces of splintered wood and organ pipes to help fortify the entrance with spikes as well as using the wood to block out all the windows securely too. It was defences against walkers, should anything happen while they were away, and Gabriel looked disheartened at watching his church be destroyed.

“He wants to go to Atlanta, but I can’t have that.” Rick announces to Michonne as they nail wood to the outside of the windows together, referring to Carl after looking over at him with Noah, doing the same to another window.

“Then you stay. I’ll go.” Michonne offers.

“I owe it to Y/N.” he retorts.

“We all owe Y/N.” Michonne states.

Rick nods in agreement. “I owe her more.” He points out.

-

Beth was on cleaning duty, moping the floors when she came into Dawn’s office to mop and started to overhear Dawn with one of her officers.

“That’s your plan, huh?” Dawn says.

“Look, we are doing everything we can. Licari is out in the sedan right now. If there is a sign of Noah, we are going to find him.” Her officer assures as she comes into the office to start moping, unnoticed as usual, and smiles to herself at hearing that they hadn’t caught Noah after his escape.

“You just told me that your plan was counting on him screwing up. That’s some active police work right there.” Dawn pokes, to which her officer doesn’t respond.

“Was there anything else?” she asks.

“Yes, actually there was. The patient in exam room two, she was half dead when I brought her in. She ain’t looking so good.” The officer starts, making Beth’s ears perk up knowing that was Y/N’s room. “This ain’t pin the tail on the donkey. Are we really gonna keep wasting valuable resources on this woman?” The officer coldly questions.

“How much electricity does your DVD take?” Beth blurts, stopping mopping and turning around in annoyance at the officer.

“Excuse me?” The officer spits.

“We have very limited resources here. You charge it every day.” Beth jabs, coming to stand in front of the man and Dawn.

“Are you kidding me?” The officer snaps irritated. “Beth.” Dawn says to ease her down.

“That woman has been here one day.” Beth points out. “Beth.” Dawn repeats, raising her voice a little.

“What good is this place if it doesn’t try to save people?” Beth questions.

“Turn off the machines. Tell Edwards to take the patient off his rounds. If she pulls through on her own, then fine. But you’re right. She’s not worth the effort.” Dawn orders.

“Not worth the effort, she’s pregn--,” Beth exclaims but is cut off by Dawn. “Beth.” She yells. “Just do it.” she sternly adds, and the officer leaves the room with a sly glare at Beth, but she doesn’t acknowledge it, as she was staring at the back of Dawn’s head mad as she watched her officer leave.

Dawn turns back to face Beth with a sigh. “You just killed that woman.” She states, angering Beth further. “Who do you think I have to side with?” Dawn adds.

“Tell him. Tell him you changed your mind.” Beth spits.

“You don’t know how fragile this thing is. There’s nothing I can do.” Dawn points out.

“So you’ll just have to do it.” she announces, taking Beth by surprise.

“You’re gonna save that woman’s life.” She instructs, getting a key out from her pocket, holding it out in front of them. “This is to the drug locker. I don’t even trust Edwards with this. So take it.” she explains and as Beth takes it, Dawn’s radio crackles.

“It’s Shephard. I’m on roof detail. Just heard a gunshot maybe a mile north-northeast.” Officer Shephard calls over the radio.

“Grab Lamson, take a car and track it down.” Dawn orders down the radio. “Yes ma’am.” Shephard replies.

“Why are you doing this?” Beth questions.

“I thought you were weak. You’ve proved me wrong.” Dawn declares, before leaving her office.

-

“At sundown we fire a shot into the air. Get two of ‘em out on patrol. Then once it’s dark enough that the rooftop spotter won’t see us, we go. We cut the locks on one of the stairways, take it to the fifth floor. I open the door, Daryl takes the guard out.” Rick explains of the plan of the start of their rescue mission. Having got into Atlanta, they were now in a warehouse, laying out a plan.

“How?” Tyreese asks, referring to how Daryl would take the guard out.

“He slits his throat.” Rick coolly answers, like it was nothing. “This is all about us doing this quiet, keeping the upper hand. They’re not expecting us. From there, we fan out. knives and silenced weapons. We need to be fast.” Rick continues, before instructing who would be where and who they’d take out. “If they’re smart, the rest of ‘em will give up. Then it’ll be five on three. Six on three once we get a weapon to Beth.” Rick explains.

“Twelve on three. The wards will help.” Noah announces.

“That’s best case. What’s worst case?” Tyreese questions. “All it takes is one of those cops going down the hall at the wrong time. Then it’s not quiet. All hands on deck. We’re talking about a lot of bullets flying around.” Tyreese continues.

“If that’s what it takes.” Sasha states.

“It’s not. If we get a couple of her cops alive out here, we can do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home.” Tyreese suggests.

“Yeah, I get it. And it might work. This will work.” Rick assures.

“Nah, that’ll work, too.” Daryl chimes. “You say this Dawn, she’s just tryin’ to keep it together, right?” Daryl questions Noah.

“Trying and doing are two different things.” Noah points out, referring to how she is.

“You take two of her cops away, what choices does she have? Everybody goes home. Like he says.” Daryl backs, pointing to Tyreese and Rick stands in contemplating thought, seeing the tides were turning on the plan.

-

Beth made her way to Edwards office, so she could find out what medication Y/N needed to help her become stable and aid her recovery. She knocked on his door and waited for him to let her in. Seeing him come to the door, she saw he looked hesitant to open it for her. Due to the confrontation they’d had about what happened with the patient that he’d killed through her, but he opened it regardless.

“Beth.” He greets.

“Can I?” she asks to come in.

“Yeah, sure.” He affirms, letting her in.

Inside his office, she waited for him to close the door before she asked what she came her for.

“The woman in exam room two, what medicine would you give her?” Beth questions.

“Dawn called it.” Edwards states.

“I know, but if you could, what would you give her?” she repeats.

“Well, I don’t have a working ultrasound and a scan was out of the question for a few reasons, so from the tests I could do, the baby seems fine by a miracle. Although, seeing as her side is completely bruised and the trauma to the side of her head, I would say that being hit side on probably saved the child. But she is very weak. Her body is fatigued. And judging from her bruising up her side, and as she was hit by a car, she may have internal bleeding. But even if she does, it doesn’t appear to be too serious, so it’s possible it will heal on its own. What she needs, it’s just a guessing game.” Edwards explains.

“So guess.” Beth pushes.

“You have the key. Did you take it or did she give it to you? Because if she gave it to you, she did not do it out of the kindness of her heart.” Edwards points out.

“Don’t.” Beth quickly says. “Just tell me what medicine.” Beth demands.

“I was trying to save my life. I’m still wondering if I did.” Edwards suddenly defends, referring to what he did, hanging his head. They stand there in silence for a moment, Beth not wanting to push on his own shame and also waiting to hear an answer. 

Edwards looks back up to Beth. “Aprotinin. Five milligrams in the IV.” He announces. “It won’t wake her up right away, not with how fatigued her body is, but it’ll help her blood with her internal injuries, if she has any, and she’ll have a shot.” He explains.

At hearing what she wanted, Beth turns and goes for the door.

“Hey.” Edwards says, stopping Beth as she opens the door but she doesn’t look back. “Good luck.” He wishes and without a word or a look, Beth marches out and heads for the drug locker.

-

Your friend, what’s his name? I need to talk to him. Your plan is going to get me and my friends killed.” The female officer informs as Daryl, Sasha and Tyreese bring the three officers they managed to capture back into the warehouse, with Rick and Noah talking over plans about Grady ahead of the room.

“We’re gonna make it work.” Sasha states as they bring them into the room.

“It would work if you had different cops to trade.” The officer announces, getting the three’s attention. “Dawn’s running Grady into the ground. A bunch of us want her out and she knows it. Pretty sure she knows we want Lamson to replace her, too.” She continues.

“Dawn doesn’t know that.” One of the male officers’ retorts.

“She might.” She points out. “And she’s smart. So there’s a good chance you can’t make this deal work and that’ll leave us all dead. But if you let us go, we’ll take care of Dawn ourselves and then we’ll let your friends go and this is over.” She explains.

“No, we’re not gonna do that.” Lamson states.

“Do you want to die?” The female officer questions. 

“No. I just need you to shut up right now.” He replies.

Daryl and the others look at each other, thinking what to make of it all.

“You can make this work. But you’ve got to be able to talk to her.” Lamson points out.

“Noah told us all about her.” Sasha chimes.

“I’ve known her for eight years, ma’am. I know this woman. And my only interest is peaceful resolution, not dying, and sleeping in my bed tonight. So, please, let me help you. Please.” Lamson explains. Sasha and Tyreese look to Daryl, who then turn from them and the officers.

“Hey, Rick. You’re gonna wanna hear this.” Daryl calls over to him and Noah.

-

Beth had got one of the other wards to help her with a distraction so she could get to the drug locker unseen. All it had taken was for her to get the older man some strawberries from the small garden patch on the roof of the building, which she had easily obtained. He waited for her in the hall, around the corner and away from the drugs locker, where he would keep officers distracted with him so Beth could get the medication. Once Beth had handed him the strawberries slyly, she walked around the hall towards the locker and the ward started to excessively cough and slump to the floor. It got the attention of the nearby officers and they rushed to help him as Beth quickly unlocked the locker. She scans for the right medication and eventually finds it, swiftly putting it into her pocket. After locking the drug locker back up, she walks around the hall and past the ward with the officers, when he sees Beth walking past, he stops and explains he felt fine now and thanked them. Walking ahead, hearing the ward and now having the medicine, Beth smiled to herself in her success of retrieving the medicine and headed for Y/N’s room. 

Quietly entering the room, Beth grabs the equipment to administer the medication. Using a syringe, she extracts the amount of the drug Edwards had told her and injects it into the IV. She discards the equipment into one of the hazardous bins and comes back up to the side of Y/N’s hospital bed.

“Y/N. It’s Beth.” She whispers and grasps her hand gently. “I just wanted you to know that I was here.” She quietly announces.


	9. nine

Since the massacre of Gareth and his group, Gabriel had struggled to come to terms with what happened in his church, the blood stains on the floorboards a constant reminder. But the place had continually been a reminder of what he had done. He’d cowardly left his congregation outside to die when they came for shelter and safety, keeping the doors locked when the walkers came for them. After Carl’s insistence on him selecting a weapon to defend himself, he’d taken a machete but it also didn’t help him and ultimately is what made him escape the church. Using the machete, he broke through the floorboards of his rectory room, stabbing the machete in the floorboard next to the hole he had created, leaving it behind. He went down under the church and crawled out from beneath outside. After pretty much taking his first step, he stands on a nail, going straight into his foot through his shoe, making him fall. Despite this, he pulls it out and doesn’t allow it to deter him from leaving. Limping to the school nearby that Gareth and his group had resided and taken Bob, on the way Gabriel was attacked by a walker and he was about to kill it with a rock when he saw it had a crucifix around its neck, stopping him in guilt and sadness. 

Having been to the school and seeing the remnants of Bob’s leg on the fire pit, which he’d thrown over in anger, crying just as the walkers behind the glass door of the school, broke through and headed straight for him. He had limped as fast as he could away, headed back to the church but hadn’t been quick enough to lose the walkers, who had followed him back. When he got back to the church, Gabriel ducked down on the floor to crawl back under it from where he’d come out but walkers came out ahead of him, not allowing him the time to do so. He scrambled back up and limped around to the front of the church, with the walkers right behind him.

“Please! Let me in! please! Let me in! They’re close! Help! They’re coming! Please don’t leave me out here! Please! Don’t leave me out here! Carl! Michonne! I had to see it! I know now! Let me live with it! Oh god, please! Help! Help me!” Gabriel shouts as he moves through the large wooden spikes and organ pipes around the front doors and steps, moving one so he can get in, keeping hold of it in defence. He pounds on the door as he shouts.

Gabriel hears Carl and Michonne hacking away inside at the wooden plank they’d nailed against the doors, when a walker pushes it way through where Gabriel had. He manages to keep it at bay with the organ pipe he way holding, still incessantly screaming to be let in, as another then pushes through. He suddenly realises that what was happening to him now, was mirroring how his congregation died.

The hacking stops and as the walkers manage to finally push through the spikes, one of the doors opens behind Gabriel. “Come on!” Carl calls from inside, his gun in hand. Gabriel drops the pipe and rushes inside. 

“Get back.” Michonne orders, pulling Carl behind her after he shot a couple of the oncoming walkers, sees that there’s too many for him to handle with just his gun. Holding the axe she used, she swung at the first few walkers that stumbled upon them all, taking them down one by one. With the fourth, the axe gets stuck in the skull of the walker a little and Michonne has to kick the walker back to force it out. The walker falls into the ones behind, giving Michonne a second to see that there was too many to take on, now they were all coming into the church.

“The rectory, come on!” Gabriel calls from behind, leading them into the room at the front, slamming the door once they were in, but not completely. The walkers pushed against it as he did, the door open just a crack with their hands stretching through. Gabriel kept himself pushed against it as Carl stands with his gun raised at the door and Michonne, with Judith on her back, helps secure the door with a chair.

“That’s how I got out. Crawl under to the back. Just go. Take the little one and go.” Gabriel exclaims, looking to the obvious hole in the floorboards where he had pulled them up and escaped through.

Michonne takes Judith off from her back, with the help of Carl, giving her to him to go in and under first. Carl grabs the bag of supplies and gets into the hole.

“Hey, hey. You wait for me.” Michonne orders, before he descends and crawls with Judith. As Michonne grabs the axe, she gets down into the hole and looks to Gabriel, still holding the door.

“I’m not going anywhere until you’re gone.” He states and she then follows after Carl.

Once Michonne was gone and would have crawled out, Gabriel scrambles to the hole coming away from the door. As he gets down into the hole, he looks back to see the walkers bursting into the room in front, the walker in front trips over the chair and falls face down onto the machete sticking out the floorboard directly in front of Gabriel. Seeing this, he swiftly takes the blade and crawls down and out from underneath the church.

“I can’t run anymore.” Gabriel says as Michonne helps him to his feet as he emerges from under the church.

“We’re not running.” Michonne declares. 

The three of them move around to the front of the church, with Carl, Judith now strapped to his back, and Michonne taking out the walkers stuck on the pipes and spikes before moving through them to the doors. Gabriel follows behind with a couple small planks of wood and nails. Michonne closes the doors, the creak and noise getting the attention of the walkers inside at the front. Gabriel holds the wood in place as Carl and Michonne start banging the nails in it to keep the tattered doors, from the hacking of the axe, closed before Gabriel uses a belt to secure the two doorknobs together. The walkers pushed against it, their hands pushing through the crack in the middle created from the axe, and for now, it was holding.

-

After Lamson had tricked Sasha, distracting her and hitting her over the head in order to escape, Rick had gone after him. But when the rest of them all saw him return back to the warehouse, where they had the two other officers still, without Lamson, they all knew he was dead. Daryl walked over to meet Rick and the two started a discussion quietly between them away from the other officers.

“He wouldn’t stop.” Rick announces.

“This change things?” Daryl questions.

“It has to.” Rick states.

“Maybe not.” Daryl retorts.

“She said the plan won’t work. The guy who did is dead. Maybe we gotta rethink this.” Rick points out.

“They also said the cop in charge didn’t have any love for him. Maybe you did her a favour.” Daryl counters.

“I don’t know if they’ll play ball.” Rick says.

“Let’s find out.” Daryl urges and the both of them approach the others.

“He was a good man.” The female officer announces as they come to stand before them. “He was attacked by rotters. Saw it go down.” She adds with an extremely cool and collected face.

Rick scoffs, a little surprised and impressed by the move. “You’re a damn good liar.” He points out.

“We’re hanging by a thread here. He was attacked by rotters. That’s the story.” She reiterates.

“You said the trade was a bad idea. What changed?” Daryl questions.

“Lamson was our shot. So it’s this or you go in guns blazing, right? You don’t want that.” She replies.

“If this is some bullshit you’re spinnin’ and things go south-,” Daryl starts.

“I know.” she cuts him off. “I know the good ones form the bad. Let us help you.” She pleads.

“What about you? You wanna live? How much?” Rick asks the male officer, the one who had been quiet the most.

“Dawn’s afraid she’ll look weak in front of us. Thinks it’ll tip things against her. Hell, it will. She’ll see this trade as a rip off if she thinks you took out one of our guys. So it’s a good thing Lamson got aced by rotters.” The officer states.

Rick looks to Daryl, who nods. Looks like they had their way in.

-

“Shephard, Lamson, what’s your 20?” Dawn calls into the radio.

No response.

“I need status on that gunfire. Do you copy?” She tries again.

Damn sighs in impatience at hearing no response, yet again.

“Licari, do you copy?”

“Does anybody copy?” She tries once more.

Nothing. She sighs again in annoyance and puts her radio down on a cabinet next to her as she continues to pedal on her exercise bike in her office as Beth cleans her desk. “Damn it.” She mutters to herself.

“Something wrong?” Beth asks from over at her desk, polishing.

“They don’t always radio back, and it drives me crazy.” Dawn answers as Beth finishes polishing a photo frame and goes to place it on her desk.

“Wait, no, no, Beth, not there.” Dawn stops, causing Beth to turn to face her. “Up by the badges. Thank you.” She directs and Beth correctly places the photo frame on top of a filing cabinet next to a few badges. As she puts it down, she looks at it, wondering if the man in the photo with Dawn was Hanson, her former captain. 

“Is this Captain Hanson?” Beth questions.

“Did someone say something about him to you?” Dawn asks.

“Just that he used to be in charge.” Beth answers.

“Well, you’ll hear stories about him. About me. About what I did.” Dawn points out, coming to a stop on her bike with a sigh. She wipes her face with a towel and exhales. “He was my mentor. My friend. I miss him. That’s the part the stories leave out.” Dawn adds.

“What happened to him?” Beth asks as Dawn gets off her bike and comes over towards Beth.

“They risk their lives every time they go out there. It has to be worth it. It has to matter. He lost sight of that. So he lost them.” Dawn starts. “Beth, in this job, you don’t need their love- but you have to have their respect. Otherwise, the day is gonna come when you need backup, and you don’t have it. And what comes next? Everybody goes down.” Dawn continues. “Hanson lost his way. That’s what happened.” She explains as Beth looks at Dawn in pondering thought, thinking that perhaps this was where she was headed, and she didn’t know it.

-

The walkers had been continually snarling and clawing at the doors from the inside of the church, while Michonne, Carl and Gabriel stood at the fence at the front of the church, watching from ahead. Doing the only thing they could do. Wait for the others to return from Atlanta. 

Michonne steps to Gabriel’s side, curious as to why Gabriel had left, ultimately leaving them in their current situation. “Where did you go?” she questions.

“The school. I had to see. I had to know.” Gabriel states, just as the sound of wood starts to crunch and splinter from over at the doors. They all snap their heads towards it and the walkers then manage to force one of the wooden planks from the door and it looks as if the other is about to do the same. The walkers would be bursting out any minute.

“Where do we go?” Carl asks, holding Judith, as Michonne and Gabriel stand in front of him, axe and machete in hand. Michonne looks around, thinking of an answer as the other bit of wood comes off the door. The walkers push against the doors, with just the belt stopping them but it wasn’t going to hold with just that. When suddenly she hears the sound of an approaching vehicle and sees a huge red fire truck approaching. It drives forward with speed and then demolishes the front steps of the church, smashing through it and the spikes and pipes around it, as it parks itself right against the doors, stopping the walkers from bursting out. As it comes to a stop, Michonne sees that Abraham is at the wheel.

He shuts the engine off and Glenn and Maggie follow him out the front of the truck as they come to meet them. Michonne and Maggie embrace, smiles on their faces as they greet each other, while Rosita and Tara come around the back of the truck towards them all.

“You okay?” Maggie asks. “Yeah.” Michonne breathes coming out the embrace, to then hold arms with Glenn, happy to see their faces again. “Your back.” Michonne smiles, but Glenn and the rest aren’t so much anymore.

“Eugene lied. He can’t stop it. Washington isn’t the end.” Glenn announces, causing Michonne’s smile to drop into a expression of disappoint.

“Where is everybody?” He questions with a little distress.

Michonne then brings back a smile as she looks to Maggie in realisation of what exactly had been going on here. “Beth’s alive. She’s in a hospital in Atlanta.” Michonne declares, leading Maggie to stand there in stun. “Some people have her, Y/N too, but the others went to get them back.” Michonne explains happily.

“Do we know which one?” Maggie asks in a little shock at the news.

Michonne nods. “Grady Memorial.” She answers.

Maggie stands there in joyful stun, holding her hands up before brushing them across her face. “Oh my god.” She says as Glenn kisses her heads and they embrace with Maggie laughing through happy tears. The group looks around with smiles, with some good news finally.

“Let’s blow this joint, go save your sister.” Tara chirps with a grin.

-

After completing her work with Dawn, Beth had snagged her elevator key, the one to open the elevator where they dropped the dead patients straight down to the basement where walkers had gotten into. She’d wanted to be alone after seeing O’Donnell lash out at Percy beforehand, the old ward who had helped her previously, for something so minor and pushing him forcibly to the ground with a seemingly painful landing. Dawn had walked past and dismissed it completely before urging Beth to follow, having work to do. She’d wanted to be alone because she was getting increasingly sick of the place and the people in it with every hour of every day she had been there and continued to be.

Beth sat at the elevator edge, her head leant against the side and her legs dangling over as she looked down, when she eventually heard the door creak open to the small hall behind her.

Beth looks slightly to her side as the person who came in walks towards her. Seeing it was Dawn when she stopped at a wall just behind her to the side, she looks back into the elevator.

“Percy’s going to be okay.” Dawn announces.

“Nothing’s okay.” Beth states.

“Are you going to jump?” Dawn questions.

“I wanted to be alone. You left your elevator key where it was.” Beth retorts.

“Well, I know you’re not going anywhere.” Dawn says.

“Neither are you.” Beth points out.

“You-- you keep telling yourself you have to do whatever it takes just until this is over.” Beth starts, turning to face Dawn at the wall. “But it isn’t over. This is it. This is who you are and what this place is until the end.” She informs.

“This place saved you. I saved you. Twice.” Dawn states as she steps towards Beth.

“The others don’t know what you did. They think Joan was trying to get back at me, and that Gorman and Jeffries were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Dawn begins to explain, talking about what happened back in Dawn’s office during the plan of escape Beth and Noah had devised.

“That’s what happened.” Beth insists.

“Bullshit. I saw the smashed jar. I closed up my office and I fixed it before it could be a problem. You’re a cop killer.” Dawn declares.

“I would never kill somebody.” Beth retaliates.

“But you did.” Dawn retorts. “What do you think would happen if the others found out? I protected you. And we helped that patient. I didn’t have to, I wanted to. But there’s a way things have to happen here. Don’t you get that?” Dawn points out when the sound of the door closing slightly is heard by them both, snapping their attention to it to see O’Donnell standing at them in the hall. At seeing him, Beth rises to a stand as Dawn stands next to her, both of them by the elevator staring at him as he stares back.

“What are you gonna do?” Dawn asks, knowing he’d been listening and heard.

“No, Dawn, what are you gonna do? Starting with her.” O’Donnell questions.

“She’s my ward. It’s my call.” Dawn states.

“Fine, but your people deserve to know who they’re working for. So, you gonna tell them, or am I? he pushes, taking some steps forward down the hall.

“You don’t get to threaten me.” Dawn declares, taking steps forward as well.

“That’s not a threat. But these are the facts. You look like shit. The guys are talking. They think you’re cracking. This is Hanson all over again. It’s time to make a change.” O’Donnell announces, before turning back to the doors to leave.

“O’Donnell.” Dawn calls, unholstering her gun as she walks up the hall. “You’re wrong.” She argues, pointing her gun at him as he turns. “I was the one who killed him, remember that? I was the only one who could go through with it.” She points out.

“Lower your weapon, Dawn.” O’Donnell demands. “All I have to do is shout.” He adds.

“All I have to do is say you came at me.” Dawn retorts. “Beth, get out of the way.” She orders and Beth moves away from the elevator to the side of the hall at the wall.

“You’re not gonna do this.” O’Donnell says.

“You’re not giving me a choice.” Dawn retaliates.

“Go.” She instructs, gesturing with her gun for him to move away from the door.

“We were rookies together. You knew my wife. You were here in this hospital having cigars with me in the parking lot when my kid was born.” O’Donnell points out as he moves down and around Dawn in the hall to the end near the elevator.

“Don’t.” Dawn spits, hurt by him using their past as a defence.

“That guy is gone. We’re supposed to protect people. To help them.” Dawn starts, her eyes watered by anger and hurt. “But look at you. You’re beating the old man. You’re laughing with your buddies about that poor girl getting raped. That’s who you are now.” Dawn resentfully and emotionally states.

“So who the hell are you?” O’Donnell questions coldly, taking a step forward at Dawn, who still holds her gun up at him. 

“Somebody who’s not gonna let it happen anymore.” She declares.

“That’s not what this is about. It’s about holding on to what you have.” O’Donnell responds.

“What the hell do I have?” Dawn asks, a tear rolling down her face.

“This isn’t you. After Hanson, you changed.” O’Donnell announces before quickly swatting the gun from Dawn’s hand and pushing her against the wall. Dawn strikes blows at O’Donnell in retaliation, getting him off of her and a fight ensues. Both of them get blows in at each other, going from one wall to the other across the hall until O’Donnell gets a hold of Dawn and throws her against the wall Beth had been at. She moved quickly out the way and moved over into the middle of the hall opposite them. O’Donnell picks Dawn up by the throat, lifting her up off the floor against the wall strangling her.

“You think you’re better than us?!” He exclaims in her face as he holds her on the wall. 

Seeing this Beth tries to pull him back but he swiftly strikes a blow back against Beth sending her to the floor back in the middle of the hall. “Stay in your line, bitch!” He yells back to her, and Dawn takes the moment to forcibly jab O’Donnell straight in the throat, sending him back a couple steps off her gasping for breath. She then kicks him back further, close to the elevator. “Beth!” she shouts in urgency hunched over and Beth then quickly stands and pushes O’Donnell down the elevator. As he falls he screams, echoing down and decreasing in volume until Beth hears a thud as he hits the side of the shaft, silencing and probably killing him, then nothing until a splatter. The sound of faint walker snarls below follow as he landed among them in the basement. 

Dawn joins Beth’s side at looking down the elevator. “Thank you.” She says.

After the events at the elevator, Beth had wanted to be alone again. Even though Y/N wasn’t awake, she liked knowing that someone she knew from before was here with her. So, she put herself sat on the floor, against the wall, in her room, but once again Dawn had interrupted her. As she walked into the room and closed the door, Beth noticed she was holding a flask and cup, and she also noticed that she had killed another person because and through someone else.

“It’s okay to cry.” Dawn says as she steps around to the end of Y/N’s bed.

“I don’t cry anymore.” Beth declares.

“I do. I just don’t let them see it.” Dawn states as she pours some alcohol into the cup from her flask and hands it to Beth, who just looks away in decline, so she places it on the edge of the sink next to her.

“It’s from my own stash. There’s no strings.” Dawn assures as she perches on the edge of the hospital bed, taking a swig from the flask.

“I know now why you covered for me. you weren’t protecting me. You were protecting yourself.” Beth announces.

“Is that so?” Dawn quietly questions, staring into nothing, as if she was questioning it herself.

“Gorman, Jeffries, O’Donnell-- they were problems for you. And now they’re not. And you didn’t have to do the dirty work. That’s how things get done here. Everyone uses people to get what they want. You’re not the ones who have to remember.” Beth explains.

“Is that what happened with Edwards and Trevitt? He used you?” Dawn asks but Beth says nothing and doesn’t look her way either.

“I’m gonna get out. Just like Noah.” Beth announces.

“He’ll be back.” Dawn states, making Beth face her.

“He’s going home.” Beth retorts.

“They always come back. They don’t ever get far because they can’t. But really-- they don’t want to.” Dawne explains.

“He’s going home.” Beth repeats more forcibly, annoyed.

“I was like you when I was younger. Nobody could tell me anything.” Dawn describes. “I’m not stupid. You know her.” She announces, nodding to Y/N behind her on the bed. “And somehow you both wound up here. Maybe that means something. Beth, you can be a part of this thing. Both of you. This is important. Maybe the most important thing you do in your life. And what you did back there--,” Dawn continues but stops herself, touching her throat reminded of the way O’Donnell had a hold of her against the wall. “Gorman and O’Donnell hurt people. The world didn’t lose anything when they died. And you’re wrong about what happened. I didn’t use you. And I will remember.” Dawn finishes emotionally, but Beth looks at her with disdain until she suddenly notices behind her Y/N slightly stirring awake.


	10. ten

My eyes felt heavy as I tried to open them, and my body ached all over. I started to hear a woman speaking as my senses were coming back to me, waking up. I didn’t recognise her voice, nor the names she mentioned but prying my eyes open, fluttering weakly as they adjusted to the light, it became an afterthought. Now looking up at the ceiling of a room, the woman’s voice had stopped and when I looked to my side I saw a comforting familiar face. 

“Beth?” I mumble at seeing her by my bedside.

She grasped my hand. “I’m here.” she whispers comfortingly and I look down at he holding my hand and the reality of the situation sunk in. I was in a hospital bed and room. Beth was here. I was in Grady. The feeling of waking up in a hospital didn’t fill with me ease as the last time I had was when Sophia had been born. Looking down, I saw my stomach was still protruding out significantly as before but it didn’t stop my slight panic at what had happened. 

“The baby? Is it ok-,” I weakly begin.

“The baby’s fine. You’re both fine.” Beth assures with a smile and complete relief runs through me with a sigh.

“Is Daryl here?” I mutter.

“He’s alive?” Beth questions quietly with a slight look of relief and stun.

“Yeah. We came to-,” I start but stop myself this time, having now only noticed the woman stood at the end of my bed. She must have been the voice I heard.

“Who are you?” I ask, looking at her with uncertainty. She opens her mouth to speak but Beth beats her to it. “That’s Dawn.” She answers. Dawn? She’s the woman in charge here from what Noah said, and he’d also said she wasn’t to be trusted, the place was a show of corruption and she was at the heart of it.

“You were in pretty bad shape when my officers found you. They brought you in and we’ve treated you here. Helped you.” Dawn explains.

“Found me?” I scorn, remembering the sound of tyres screeching and the impact of what had to be a car. “Suppose you want a thank you.” I jab.

“We saved your life. Now you owe us. You can help us.” Dawn states.

“I don’t owe you anything. I’m only here because your officers hit me with a car.” I retort.

“Even so, they brought you in. They didn’t have to, they could have left you there.” Dawn declares. “I was just saying to Beth that she could help. You can too. What we’re doing here is important. You both can be a part of it.” Dawn suggests, but I don’t believe or like a single word coming out her mouth.

“Where’s my sword? My things.” I question, ignoring her declaration.

“They’re safe.” She states. “You think about what I said and perhaps you’ll get them back.” she adds before turning to leave the room. I look at her with hidden distrust as she walks to and opens the door, now hovering in the doorway. “I’ll let Edwards know she’s awake.” She chimes before stepping out and closing the door, leaving Beth and I alone.

“Are you okay? What are they doing to you here?” I ask turning to Beth at my side, having noticed the two stitched cuts she was sporting on her face before and a cast on one of her hands and wrist.

“I’m fine. But now you’re awake- when you can get back on your feet, we gotta get out of here. This place, the people in it are immoral.” Beth states cautiously.

“We might not have to wait that long.” I announce, getting a slightly puzzled look from Beth. “Daryl and I came to get you. We came across Noah before I got brought here. They’ll be coming. And I bet Daryl will bring the others.” I explain.

“The others?” she questions, still looking a little out the loop, which of course she was.

“We found each other. Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, others. They’ll be coming. I know it.” I declare. 

-

Rick and the others had started their plan. Beginning with announcing themselves and declaring the start of a negotiation. Everyone apart from Rick had gone to the roof of the warehouse, where Daryl and Noah were keeping an eye on the officers as Tyreese and Sasha stood armed at the edge, looking over a car lot where Rick would be waiting for other officers to arrive. They’d shot a single round into the air and were waiting for them to cruise by.

“You’re beating yourself up. Don’t.” Tyreese says to Sasha, knowing she was annoyed at herself for letting Lamson distract her and get away, for the time he did.

“I was stupid.” Sasha states simply, continuing to look down.

Tyreese looks around, taking a moment before saying what he was about to admit next.

“At the church, the guy you killed, his name was Martin.” Tyreese informs, causing Sasha to face her brother. “We had him. Me and Y/N. Back by Terminus. Then she went in after you all and it was just me and him. I said I killed him. I could have done it, maybe I should’ve done it, but- I didn’t. I keep thinking about it.” Tyreese admits and Sasha looks back down to the car lot. “I remember when we were kids and you used to follow me around, copying every little thing I did. What happened to both of us, maybe it’s because we’re still the same. Just like we were back then. And maybe that’s good.” Tyreese points out.

“You’re still the same. And that is good.” Sasha agrees, looking back to him but then shakes her head. “I don’t think I can be. Not anymore.” she adds, looking back through her silenced sniper rifle.

Daryl had now take over from Tyreese at the roof edge, both him and Sasha pointing the rifles over as they watched for a car, while Tyreese and Noah stood with their willing hostages.

A car eventually cruised by, headed where they wanted them to and Daryl snapped him fingers to signal Tyreese behind them of it.

“They’re headed towards the vantage point.” Tyreese calls into their radio, followed by static and Rick’s voice in reply, waiting for the car at that point.

-

“Okay, copy that.” Rick replies into the radio, attaching it back to his belt as he began to hear a car approaching in the distance. Once he spotted it coming into the car lot he was waiting in, he walked towards it, putting his hands up in the air. As Rick walked towards the car, it stopped and the two officers opened their doors, proceeding to stand behind them with their guns aimed.

“Officer Franco. Officer McGinley. I’m Rick Grimes. I was a deputy in the King County Sheriff’s Department. I’m here to make a proposal.” Rick announces stopping a distance away from the car, his hands still up.

“Lay your weapon on the ground. And turn.” Officer Franco orders.

“Alright.” Rick replies and slowly removes his gun from his belt and places it on the ground, before turning on the spot. The two officers approach Rick, their guns still aimed, but stop halfway between the car and him, still keeping a distance.

“What’s your proposal?” Officer McGinley questions.

“You have two of my people, I have two of yours. We wanna make an exchange. Then we’ll be on our way. No one gets hurt.” Rick explains.

“Who?” McGinley asks.

“Officers Shephard and Licari, for Beth and Y/N.” Rick answers, and the two officers seem a little unsure at the second name. “You picked up a woman yesterday, after your people hit her with a car.” Rick states, reading their faces.

“Noah, he’s with you? That’s how you know?” McGinley points out knowingly.

“Yes, he is.” Rick replies.

“What about Officer Lamson?” McGinley questions.

“He was attacked by the dead before we got to him.” Rick explains as a walker starts coming up behind the car.

“Where are your people?” Franco asks, just as a silenced gunshot kills the staggering walker behind them, coming from either Sasha or Daryl on the rooftop, making the two officers look around for a shooter.

“They’re close.” Rick states coolly.

“Radio your lieutenant. I’ll wait.” Rick instructs, standing on the spot.

-

Beth had stayed with me since I woke up. A doctor, who must have been Edwards as Dawn mentioned, had come to check on me and had assured me I was healing nicely and that all signs said the baby was fine. I was grateful that I had received help, but it was essentially all down to Beth, and I wasn’t going to give Dawn any credit or recognition, no matter what. I didn’t trust her, and I didn’t like her overall disposition. Beth had helped me to my feet for the rest of the day, getting me walking around gradually until I felt fine to do so with ease. My side still ached and was sore from the bruising and my body did feel tired, but in every other way, I felt fine. I felt even better, and Beth too, when we had been informed about an exchange. A man named Rick Grimes had negotiated for two officers he had for us both to be given back, and Dawn looked somewhat defeated and distrusting of the news when she announced it to us, but she had agreed. She had brought both our clothes they’d found us in and Beth helped me get dressed; it felt good to be out the hospital gown, before she headed back to her room to change herself. When she returned, Edwards was with her with a wheelchair. He had advised for me to be brought in it, still unsure of how much I’d truly recovered. I had dismissed it at first, being stubborn, but when Beth urged tenderly for me to get in it, I relinquished and sat down in it. I asked her where my weapons were, and Edwards explained that Dawn had put all our other belongings in a bag and would be handed over at the exchange. 

Beth pushed me in the wheelchair, with Edwards at our side, until we came to a hallway where Dawn was stood with a few of her officers, guns raised waiting for our group to arrive. We stopped behind them and I could just make out through the glass of the doors ahead in the hall, that Rick and the rest were approaching them. Rick’s face came to the glass and looked out at us at the other end of the hall, but they didn’t come through. 

Dawn holsters her gun and her officers follow. “Holster your weapons.” Dawn calls into her radio, so her officers with Rick would hear it through theirs and do the same.

After a moment, a couple of officers, who had probably found them, opened the doors and walked across the hall straight to us as Rick, Daryl and the rest followed behind but stopped not far from the doors. Dawn looked back to Beth and I and nodded for us to come forward. Beth pushed me to stand next to her as he officers moved out the way. Rick and Daryl were holding an officer each, accompanied by Sasha and Tyreese, as well as Noah. Even at a distance, I could see the worry in Daryl’s face at the sight of Beth and I, even if he did cover it up in front of Dawn and the rest. I felt Beth’s hand on my shoulder, and I brought my hand up to grasp it, feeling her slight squeeze at seeing everyone. Looking at them all, I had expected to see more of the group, especially Maggie. At hearing Beth was alive, I would have thought she’d have been here in a heartbeat. I suddenly worried a little thinking that perhaps something might have happened while Daryl and I were away, and I was held here. Whatever it was, I’d have to wait to find out. 

“They haven’t been harmed.” Rick announces.

“Where’s Lamson?” Dawn questions.

“Rotters got him.” The female officer in Rick’s custody answers.

“We saw it go down.” The male officer in Daryl’s adds.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys.” Dawn replies, although glancing at her, she didn’t seem extremely bothered at hearing one of her officers had been taken down. “One of yours for one of mine.” She declares quickly after.

“Alright.” Rick says and then nods at Daryl. “Move.” He mumbles at the officer he was holding and begins to lead him from behind towards us. Dawn nods at one of her officers, the one I had noticed was holding a bag with the end of my katana sticking out of it I was pleased to see, and he took hold of the wheelchair from Beth. He started wheeling me towards Daryl and the officer in the middle of the hallway and holds the bag out for Daryl to take as the whole hall is eerily silent. Daryl swiftly takes the bag as he steps away from the officer, who is then escorted back as Daryl takes hold of me in the wheelchair and starts wheeling me back. 

I feel him quickly peck the top of my head and he holds his head low to mine. “You good?” He quietly asks.

“Still here.” I quietly reply, repeating my words to him I’d said before when we were here in the city, bringing my hand up to touch his on the handle for a moment as we come to Rick and the others. Daryl hands the bag to Tyreese as I pull myself up from the wheelchair, not wanting to be sat in it any longer. As I come to a stand, Tyreese gives me a slight smile and I return it, happy to see his face again, before turning back to face the others, standing with him next to Daryl. Rick meets Dawn in the middle, and they hand the officer and Beth over to each other. Rick holds Beth with his hand at her shoulder in comfort, leading her back to the others.

“Glad we could work things out.” Dawn chimes, causing Rick to turn to face her as Beth continues over to Daryl, who embraces her. “Yeah.” Rick replies low as he turns back and we all ready to leave.

“Now I just need Noah.” Dawn announces, stopping us all. “And then you can leave.” She adds and Rick turns and walks back up the hall.

“That wasn’t part of the deal.” Rick states coming to stand before her.

“Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I’m losing her, so I need him back.” Dawn explains. 

“Ma’am please, it’s not--,” The female officer who was handed back starts but Dawn cuts her off. “Shephard.” She calls, shutting her down.

“My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died.” She points out.

“No, he ain’t stayin’.” Daryl argues, pushing his hand against Noah, who took a step forward, to stop him and comes to Rick’s side.

“He’s one of mine. You have no claim on him.” Dawn retorts.

“The boy wants to go home, so you have no claim on him.” Rick counters.

“Well, then we don’t have a deal.” Dawn declares.

“The deal is done.” Rick spits.

“It’s okay.” Noah chimes, coming up behind Rick and Daryl. “No, no.” Rick protests as he comes to his side, holding his arm out.

“I gotta do it.” Noah states to him, taking his gun and handing it to Rick.

“It’s not okay.” Beth says taking a few steps towards them.

“It’s settled.” Dawn announces and Noah starts to walk over.

“Wait!” Beth exclaims, stopping Noah and marching forward to him, wrapping him in a hug. “It’s okay.” He mutters to Beth.

“I knew you’d be back.” Dawn quietly chimes towards Noah as the two come out their hug and Beth stares at her, coming to stand right in front of her.

“I get it now.” Beth states.

Then suddenly she stabs Dawn in the shoulder with something she’d hidden in her sleeve or cast, with something I had no idea she had, and almost simultaneously a gunshot echoes loudly. The whole thing, in a matter of a couple seconds, taking us all by surprise and shock as we see Beth fall to the ground in front of Dawn. I instinctively take a couple steps forward at seeing it happen in complete stun. Dawn looks back up to the rest of us with the same shock in her face as Daryl now strides forward, unholstering his gun.

“No, I didn’t mean to--,” Dawn panickily mumbles as Daryl pulls his gun on her and without hesitation shoots her in the head.

As Dawn falls, her officers behind cock and aim their guns, with Tyreese and Sasha doing the same with Rick and Daryl as well. “No! Hold your fire!” Officer Shephard yells, her arms stretched out across the officers emphasising her order.

“It’s over. It was just about her. Stand down.” she calls to the officers as wards come into the hall behind to see what happened, and they lower their weapons, followed by Sasha and Tyreese. All except Daryl and Rick. We were all distraught by what just unfold. I had tears in my eyes, Rick did. We all did. But I could hear Daryl’s breaths through his whimpered cries and sniffles as he continued to hold his gun up. Beth had gotten out the prison with him, they’d survived together, and from what he’d told me she had helped through it. She meant a lot to him and we just lost her. I walked over to him, crying myself, and laid my hand on his shoulder to ease him down. He lowers his gun and looks to Beth on the floor, before sitting over her and continuing to cry as I stretch my arm out and touch Rick’s easing him down also as he still held his gun up. He then lowers it too and paces in sorrow on the spot as I crouch by Daryl and hold his back, comforting him in his grief as we all cried over Beth.

“You can stay.” Shephard offers.

“We’re surviving here. It’s better than out there.” Edwards adds.

“No.” Rick spits sombrely. “And I’m taking anyone back there who wants to leave. If you want to come with us- just step forward now.” Rick announces and a few officers looks back at the wards collected in the hall but none of them move, none of them come forward.

When we finally left, Daryl seemed inconsolable with grief and wouldn’t look at anybody, he just scooped Beth up and carried her in her in his arms. We all made our way out the building to the front and Tyreese supported me, holding my arm and back as we left the front doors. Rick and Sasha walked out in front of us, with Daryl and Noah behind us with Beth. Coming out the doors, we saw a fire truck parked at the gates; I didn’t even care how that had come to be because as Maggie, Glenn, Michonne, Carl, everyone, even Gabriel, were coming through the gates, they had smiles on their faces at seeing us coming out. It just broke my heart, especially seeing the smile on Maggie’s face; she was about to find out her sister was now dead.

As we all continued to come out, our faces of grief against their smiles, soon started to fade them away. Then as Tyreese and I moved out the way as we came off the long entrance ramp, Daryl came into view, cradling Beth in his arms. Maggie’s face completely dropped, as well as her grip on the rifle she was holding. It slipped from her arms as she saw him crying as he held her, her face slipping into sobs. She then let out a screaming cry as she fell to the ground in anguish, sobbing loud, with Glenn at her back, trying to console her, but really none of us knew what to do. All we could do in that moment was watch as our hearts broke at the painful display. We’d all come all this way, only for what we came for to be given to us and then cruelly taken away in the last moment. Beth was a bright soul, and she meant a lot to us all. She was part of our family; she was Maggie’s real family. And now she was gone. As Daryl stood before Maggie, sobbing himself, with Beth, we all looked on in grief and sorrow. Helpless.


	11. eleven

When we left the hospital. Rick took Daryl and a few others to do a run for a couple vehicles, so we could head out on the road and leave this place as soon as we could. The fire truck the others had come in was dead in the water, so we needed two decent working vehicles. They’d come back with a car and a van, and we headed out onto the road straight away, although with no idea where. With the news that Eugene had lied about the cure, that was another morale blow. The trip to Washington now suddenly a bust and we were out in the open with no place and purpose. 

When we’d got out the city, closer back to the woods, we buried Beth, having a funeral for her as Gabriel read a few lines from his bible. We hadn’t been out long after that until the day turned into night and we had to camp out on the side of the road. Maggie and Noah had been crying in the van the whole way, and Daryl had stopped crying eventually but I could still see the pain and grief in his puffy eyes. This had really broken him. He wasn’t looking at anyone and could barely bring himself to look at me. As everyone camped around the fire, some getting in the van to sleep, Daryl distanced himself a little and sat alone, I wanted to sit with him so he would know that he wasn’t alone in this, but I figured he probably needed some space. I walked over to Rick, who was also sat alone on the edge of the boot of the car, and perched myself next to him, without a greeting from either of us.

“You okay?” Rick quietly asks after a moment.

“We’ve all been better.” I answer matching his low voice. We were away from the others but we still kept our voices quiet.

“Yeah.” He mumbles. “But are you okay?” He repeats.

“Took a hit, but- everything seems okay. At least that’s what I was told. Bit of bruising- and my body’s tired, but- I don’t think I’m the only one.” I explain and Rick nods slightly as we look out across the group.

“How’s he doing?” Rick questions, and I knew he was asking about Daryl.

“When Merle died he was the same, but, now with Beth- it’s hit him worse. He’s swallowing himself up. He can’t even look at me. And I think it’s because I remind him of what happened.” I describe.

“How so? A few of us were there as well.” Rick asks.

“I know, but- we went into Atlanta together to get her. Then I was with her, and—I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong. But I think he could use some distance. Just for a little while.” I explain. “Can I ride in the car?” I ask.

Rick nods. “Sure. Just swap with Gabriel, or someone.” Rick replies as Noah then comes up to us.

“I got a place.” Noah announces quietly to the both of us. “It’s got walls. Homes. Good people. About 20 people. My family are there. We should go.” He continues. “Beth was gonna come with me.” he adds sadly.

“How far?” Rick questions.

“Outside Richmond, Virgina.” Noah answers.

Rick and I share a glance, before he looks back to Noah. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to the group in the morning.” he says, and Noah nods smally before turning to join the others.

“We gonna go?” I ask, watching as Noah sits among the others, hoping it was a yes.

“We got no where else to go.” Rick points out.

“No, we don’t.” I agree.

When the morning came and we were about ready to leave, Rick gathered us all and announced where it was we’d be headed, and what we were headed too.

“Noah told me last night he has a place. Where his family is. Just outside Richmond, Virginia.” Rick starts. “It was secure. It has a wall, homes, 20 people. Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there. It’s a long trip, but if it works out, it’s the last long trip we have to make.” Rick announces.

“And what if it isn’t around anymore?” Glenn questions.

“Then we keep going.” Rick answers.

“Then we find a new place.” I add. This place had to work, we needed it to. We needed a place. I did. And soon.

The trip was long, and very quiet. Even for the whole length of it. What happened in Atlanta had really taken a blow at us all. We were all grieving. I came to realise that some of us had to be strong, we had to keep an eye ahead of us, as some were just swallowing themselves up. the longer we were out here, the more people would reside to a place they wouldn’t want to go. I had to pull myself from my grief, both before and after Beth, and keep my head level for the rest, along with Rick. We were keeping everyone moving, while still dealing with our blows we’d been dealt, because getting them to a place of sanctuary meant they could heal. That they wouldn’t turn cold and become something they weren’t through their grief and the hopeless morale that seemed to cloud us.

We’d been on the road for over a couple weeks now, having driven through North and South Carolina towards Virginia. We stopped each night to get some rest. But we also made many stops in the day along the way. We had to hunt, get water, fix the vehicles more than several times. Do runs for gas. We had to swap the car when it went bust at one point, doing a run for another. It was a long trip, but hopefully it was all worth it when we got to Noah’s home. And we were finally getting close.

“How far out?” Rick asks Noah from the back seat with me. He was in the front with Ty driving, and Glenn was sat in the far back behind us in the car.

“About five miles.” Noah answers.

Rick grabs his radio. “Hey, Carol.” He calls into the radio to the van, with the rest of the group in, driving a lot further behind.

“I’m here.” She says back through the radio.

“We’re nearly there. Just wanted to check the range.” Rick states.

“Everybody’s holding tight. We’ve made it 500 miles. Maybe this can be the easy part.” Carol affirms.

“Gotta think we’re due. Give us 20 minutes to check in.” Rick annoucnes.

“We don’t hear from you, we’ll come looking.” Carol states.

“Copy that.” Rick replies.

It was silent again for several moments, until Noah and Ty started speaking in the front between each other, the rest of us listening.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you something.” Noah announces, looking at Tyreese.

“What’s that?” Ty questions.

“The trade. It was the right play. It worked. It did work. Just- something else happened after.” Noah points out.

“It went the way it had. The way it was always going to.” Tyreese states.

“I never wanted to kill anybody before.” Noah sombrely admits, obviously referring to Dawn. We all wanted to kill her in that moment. And if Daryl hadn’t, I’m sure Rick would have. Hell, I would have.

“I’ve wanted that. But it just made it so I didn’t see anything except what I wanted. I wasn’t facing it.” Ty admits.

“Facing what?” Noah asks.

“What happened, what’s going on. My dad always told Sasha and me that it was our duty as citizens of the world to keep up with the news. When I was little and I was in his car, there were always those stories on the radio. Something happens 1,000 miles away or down the block. Some kind of horror I couldn’t even wrap my head around. But he didn’t change the channel. He didn’t turn it off. He just kept listening. To face it. keeping your eyes open. My dad always called that paying the high cost of living.” Ty explains.

“I lost my dad in Atlanta. I think he would have liked yours.” Noah announces. “Still got a mom and a couple twin brothers.” He continues. 

“I hope.” He adds.

“I hope so, too.” Ty replies.

There’s a pause before Noah speaks again. “Two more miles.” He points out to us all.

“Alright. Let’s pull into the woods. We’ll go on foot.” Rick instructs.

“We don’t need to.” Noah assures.

“Just in case.” Rick says.

When we found a spot to pull into the woods, we parked the car behind a couple of abandoned vehicles that were collecting a lot of dust, dirt and leaves. They appeared to have a walker each in the driver’s seats and were left like they’d hit each other but it seemed a little odd that it had happened pulled into the woods. But then again, you never know what might’ve happened, not in this world anymore. 

“This is good. Through the trees, it might just look like part of the wreck.” Rick points out as we all get out the car.

“It’s this way.” Noah announces, gesturing the direction.

When we walked through the woods, we eventually came to a road where an entrance to the walled place was just up ahead on the opposite side.

“They have spotters? Snipers?” Rick asks as we come to the treeline before the road.

“We built a perch on a truck. Sometimes it’s out front.” Noah answers.

“Not today.” Glenn points out, ahead in the treeline. 

We warily start across the road, Noah sticking in the front visibly anxious to get to the gate. We cross over back into the cover of the woods, to what seems like a back entrance gate. Noah rattles the gate, and it clangs along with the sound of chains, it was locked, which I thought seemed normal but Noah looked as if he thought otherwise. He rests his ear against the gate, with the rest of us stood behind.

There was a distant bang from inside, but not much else. “You hear that?” Noah says back to us. I heard the distant bang but, the fact it was so quiet wasn’t fuelling my hope for whatever was inside. 

“Just wait.” Glenn instructs as he moves to the side of the gate. He climbs up the fence, to look over the top as we all watch. Slowly peeking over, his face drops a little as he looks over at Noah’s home. When he looks back down at us, he shakes his head. As Noah scrambles to climb the fence on the other side of the gate, the rest of our faces drop. Rick and I share a deflating look, the realisation we had probably drove all this way for lost hope.

“We’ll get the gate open.” Rick announces quietly next to me as Glenn climbs over to follow Noah, before going to climb over himself. He knew there was no way I’d be climbing the fence, and as much I’d like to say I could do it. I couldn’t anymore; not until the inevitable happened and the lingering bruising I still had on my side wasn’t much help either.

After Rick and Ty followed over, I heard them break the chain and they soon opened the gate. Coming in, Noah was limping ahead as the rest of us secured the gate again quickly.

“Noah, hold up.” Rick calls as he continued to rush ahead while we finished securing the gate with the broken chain as best we could.

At looking around at his home, which was in complete destruction, he started into a run. “Noah!” Rick calls as he starts after him, the rest of us behind. 

He stopped in the crossroad of where the small home streets met in the middle, looking around at the bodies laid everywhere, the burnt houses, his abandoned home. It looked like the place had been attacked. People had done this for sure and the walkers had probably finished off what was left of it. Noah broke down, falling to the ground, sobbing. I noticed a painted sign on a brick fence at the front of one of the nearby houses saying ‘wolves not far’. That had to have been who attacked them. As Noah laid crying on the road, I then clocked the brick wall up ahead at the end of one of the streets. It was part of the wall that surrounded the whole place and a part of it had been knocked through. That would have been where the attackers burst through.

“Come on, it’s alright. You’re gonna be with us now.” Ty consoles Noah, holding his shoulders as he rocks on the ground. 

Looking down the street at the broken brick wall, watching a single walker come up it towards it, I sigh. This place was supposed to be our chance, now that was gone. It was gone before we even got here.

“I got it.” I state, unsheathing my katana on the spot, waiting for it to come closer up the street.

Rick moves towards Noah, crouching at his side. “I’m sorry, Noah. I truly am.” Rick says, as I watch this walker stagger along the road ahead, now clocking a couple other walkers coming down from the front of houses towards us.

“We should see if there’s anything we can use and head back.” Rick instructs coming to a stand as I turn to face him. Back to what, I thought.

“Then what?” I question, unintentionally stern. Annoyed at the prospect of losing this place and being back on the road with no plan. Rick and the rest look to me, with no reply

“They see us.” I add, checking my tone, bringing it down from annoyed to just sadly disappointed as I turn and head forward to the approaching walkers.

“We can make a quick sweep.” Glenn chimes as I start walking away.

“I’ll stay with him.” Ty says, standing behind a still sobbing Noah on the ground.

As I come up to the first couple walkers, I hear Rick call into the radio.

“Carol, you copy?” Rick calls as I swing at the first, taking its head off. “We’re here.” I hear a reply from her as I swing at the second walker.

“We made it. It’s gone.” Rick announces as I head over to the walker on the street, taking it down with an aggressive swing to its body before stabbing it in the head on the ground, letting my anger out on it a little at the fallen home we’d travelled all this way for.


	12. twelve

Rick, Glenn and I went up into the first house’s garage. In a first glimpse I had spotted some garbage bags, but I’d also clocked a signed sports shirt in a glass frame. My shirt was far from clean, so I grabbed it off the wall and brought it out the garage onto the floor. I stomp on the frame with force a couple times, more than what was needed, and I feel someone touch my arm. I turn to see Rick, a little curiously concerned, and I look back to the broken frame on the ground.

“Clean shirt.” I explain, picking it up from beneath the shattered glass, shaking the shards from it.

“We’ll figure it out.” Rick states at my side, seeing where my frustration was coming from.

“We will.” I quickly respond, turning back to face him.

“There’s some garbage bags in the garage.” I announce deflatingly before going back inside, brushing past Glenn as I went in.

“You didn’t think it would still be here.” I hear Rick state to Glenn.

“Did you?” Glenn questions and Rick takes a moment before replying.

“After it happened, right after with Beth in the hospital. I saw that woman Dawn. She didn’t mean to do it. I knew it. I saw it. But I wanted to kill her. I remember I just wondered if it even mattered one way or another. Didn’t have a thing to do with Beth.” Rick starts. “I don’t know if I thought it would still be here. But Beth wanted to get him here. She wanted to get him back home. This was for her. And it could have been for us, too.” Rick explains, as I listen from inside the garage gathering useful things. We’d all wanted to kill Dawn, for what happened to Beth, accident or not. But, I hadn’t wanted to kill her before it happened. That’s where Rick had changed, and probably a few others in the group who maybe also thought that way.

“I was thinking about that guy in the storage container. Back at Terminus. How I made us stop.” Glenn starts. “After the prison, on my trip, I got Maggie back. Things went okay. Losing Washington- losing-- losing Beth right after just finding out she’s alive--.” Glenn continues. “I hadn’t caught up with you yet. If it were now, I wouldn’t make us stop. We’d run right by. And I would have shot that woman dead. Right or wrong.” Glenn finishes, and hearing him makes me come out the garage. Glenn sounded cold. He used to be one of our optimists in the group and now he’d changed. Being out here, being how we were out here, it was changing the group, and not for the better. I knew it had changed even me. This was why we needed a place, more than anything.

“We need to stop.” I announce, causing them both to look at me. “You can be out here too long.” I add, before stepping over and handing them a couple bags.

Going along the street, we looked and looted in each house, not finding a whole lot, more or less next to nothing. As we did, with each house I went in, I started to think perhaps we could stay. If we built the walls back up, secured them, we could make a start here. Just like the prison. As I came out one of the houses, back towards the street to meet the others, I speak my thoughts to the both of them.

“Hey. We could put some of the garage doors together against the break. Park a car against them until we can brick it back up.” I announce but the two of them look at me unconvinced. “It can work.” I assure.

“This place is surrounded by a forest. There’s no sight lines.” Rick states as we continue walking down the street. “Whoever, whatever would be on top of us without us even knowing it. That’s probably what happened.” Rick points out.

“That’s what happened to us.” Glenn adds.

Slightly annoyed at the shutdown to the idea straight away, I stand in front of the two of them to argue the case. “We could start taking down the trees. We use them to build the walls up.” I counter, in a desperate attempt to make them believe we could stay, yet they look at me unconvinced again. “Look.” I say, gesturing for them to follow me over to the broken brick wall.

As I get to the break in the wall, Rick and Glenn behind me, I walk through to see scattered body parts across the grass and treeline of the forest. Limbs, torsos, legs, heads. Whatever happened here, the people who attacked were merciless killers, that was for sure. Looking around in slight stun at the gruesome display, I turn to then see along the brick wall that went around the place, it was lined with huge cracks and breaks. All along it, it was breaking and wasting away. The foundations of the whole thing were done for, and any amount of force on it would make it crumble. The sight of it broke my hope once again, seeing that it was going to take a lot more than a few garage doors and wood to make a whole new wall for the place. There was no way they’d go for it, and I knew it was a lost cause now anyway. Now what would we do? Where would we go? Where would we even start looking?

“It doesn’t matter.” Glenn suddenly announces, through the silence as I stared at the wall in thought.

“What?” Rick asks.

“You said you wondered if it even mattered if you killed her or not. It doesn’t matter if you had done it or if I had, or that Daryl did. It doesn’t matter.” Glenn answers as I come to an idea.

“Washington.” I call out, turning around to look at the others. “Eugene lied about a cure, but he thought of Washington for a reason.” I point out.

“But he was lying.” Glenn reiterates.

“About the cure- but he did the math and realised that Washington was the place where there’d be a chance. We’re close.” I explain and Rick lets out a small sigh.

“What if there are people there? Huh? What if it’s someplace that we can be safe? We’re 100 miles away. It’s a possibility. It’s a chance. Instead of just being out here. instead of just making it. Because right now, this is what making it looks like.” I blurt out, emotionally enraged by our lack of possibilities, pointing to the chopped bodies across the ground. “Don’t you want one more day with a chance?” I add, bringing my tone back down, away from upset and agitated. Rick doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have a long of a chance as walkers start to emerge from the treeline ahead of us.

“We should go.” Rick says and, with a sigh, I turn to walk back with Glenn through the break in the wall. 

“It’s 100 miles away.” Rick adds from behind, causing us to stop and look at him. “We should go to Washington.” He declares, and I don’t smile at him, but the feeling of it was there as I looked back at him with relief. We had a purpose again. 

“Rick! Help, Rick! Y/N! Glenn!” Noah suddenly shouts in the distance, causing us to start running towards his calls. Glenn and Rick get ahead of me and to him first. When I come onto the house Noah was calling from, Glenn was killing a couple walkers that Noah was blocking off him and Rick was holding a walker away from him. I rushed toward him, wondering why he hadn’t taken I out with his machete but then clock the piece of metal road sticking out its neck with Rick’s machete on the floor. He’d probably swung at it and it ricocheted out his hand from the force.

“Keep your hold.” I call as I come around his side. Standing behind the walker, I quickly bring my katana down onto its head instead of slicing it off, avoiding the metal piece, and killing it. “Thanks.” He mutters and I nod, panting. 

“It’s Tyreese.” Noah suddenly exclaims. 

“Where?” I worriedly ask.

“My house. He’s ben bit.” Noah answers, bringing my panic rising up as we all hurry over with Noah, leading us towards his house.

When we got there, Noah rushed through with us right behind him into a bedroom, where we found Tyreese and two dead walkers, although I didn’t pay much attention to them at the sight of Tyreese. His eyes seemed to be fighting to stay open as he held onto his bit arm, sat on the floor against the wall. He had two bites and was covered in his own blood, as well as the floor. 

“Hold him!” Rick yells as we rush around him. We all knew what we had to do, I just couldn’t believe I was doing it to Ty.

“You hold him!” Rick says to Glenn as he crouches in front of Ty and holds his arm out.

“I got him! Go!” Glenn affirms, crouched at his side, holding Ty steady against the pull of Rick as I stood next to him with my katana held over my head. I then had sudden déjà vu at being on the roof in Atlanta with Merle as I looked down at Rick holding Ty’s arm out.

“One hit, clean! Go!” Rick instructs and without hesitation, I slice down, not having a second to waste. I snatch a blanket from the bed and hand it to Rick who wraps it around Ty’s arm before he helps him to his feet with Glenn.

Noah and I lead out in front through the house, keeping the doors open as they carried a slightly limp Ty out.

“Let’s go. Let’s go.” Glenn calls as they come out the house.

“We go back through the gate.” I announce.

“We gotta sort the chain.” Rick points out.

Staying in front with Noah, we move along the streets back towards the gate. But when we get there, we see the chain is just about to loosen from it, against the force of a cluster of walkers now pushing against it on the other side.

“I got him.” Noah assures coming over to Rick and Glenn.

Glenn moves away from Ty as Noah moves into his side. “Can you hold him up?” Rick questions. “Yeah.” Noah replies and Rick moves all the support to Noah before joining to stand with Glenn and I in front of the gate.

“Get ready!” Rick yells as he moves past us and jimmies the chain free from the gate.

He moves backwards to us as the walkers start to push the gate open. Several walkers burst through and the three of us start taking them down. Glenn uses his machete, Rick uses his before starting to use his Python and I swing at as many as I can. Cutting and shotting through them all, we must have taken down around a dozen in a matter of seconds. Rick and Glenn took Ty again, helping him out and back across the road into the woods as Noah and I stayed around them for cover against any walkers that may approach us. 

When we got into the woods, I heard a thud with a couple grunts behind and looked to see Ty on the ground with Rick and Glenn being taken with him. He was losing consciousness and couldn’t hold himself up. 

“Open your eyes, man. Open your eyes.” Noah says as he helps Glenn and Rick pick him back up. I walk back around them and kill a walker that was trailing us, before rushing back over and helping them to lift him.

“You go to hold on, Ty. Hold on. Stay with us, alright? Stay with us.” I exclaim as we lift him, seeing his eyes battle with his consciousness.

We all carry him through the woods back to the car as fast as we can, and when we get back to the car by the small wreckage, Glenn gets in the back keeping his hold on Ty as we load him into the car. As soon as Rick closes the door with Ty in the car, he grabs his radio as he makes his way to the driver’s side with Noah getting in the far back as I get in the passenger side.

“Carol, we’re back at the car. Ty’s been bit. We need to cauterise the arm and wrap it. get Sasha and Carl away. They don’t need to see this.” Rick calls into the radio urgently, coming to the wheel and starting the engine as he finishes. 

The engine revs to life but it doesn’t move, the tyres spin on the spot for a moment as Rick continuingly revs the engine in urgency until it finally frees itself from the mud beneath it and surges forward straight into the back of the truck in the wreckage in front of us. As the front crashes into the back of the abandoned truck, the top hatch of it opens and loads of walker heads on their shoulders still fall out of it, onto the ground and the front of our car, and they had ‘w’s carved into their foreheads. But I dismissed the strange display as soon as we saw it, as Rick quickly reverses back and drives around the abandoned vehicles out the woods, back onto the road headed for the others.

-

“There have been troubling reports of cannibalism having broke out in refugee camps along the republic’s transportation corridor. And despite the string of victories by rebel forces, there are disturbing reports of increasing the brutality of their tactics, including the wholesale destruction of villages, burning down local prisons, targeting of civilians, and even the widespread mutilation of children and young mothers. And this seems like only the beginning of their campaign that they label as an endless war against--,” a man’s voice describes over the radio in the news.

“Turn it off.” Tyreese mutters.

“You sure?” Bob asks, turning around in the passenger seat to look at Ty.

“It’s okay, Tyreese. You gotta know that now.” Beth assures in the driver’s seat, looking back at Ty.

“It isn’t just okay.” Lizzie chimes, at Tyreese’s side in the back with Mika. “It’s better now.” Mika adds.

The four of them smile warmly at Tyreese in the car as it drives, who looks along at them, the four dead friends we’d lost recently. He knew what was coming next, and he was okay with it.

-

“Turn it off.” Ty mutters behind in the back after we’d been driving for a bit. I turn in my seat to look back at him.

“Turn what off, Ty?” I softly ask, seeing he was extremely weak. I think he was starting to go delusional at the blood loss and I peered over at Glenn who shared my concerned look. Watching Ty for a moment, I started to see his eyes losing their battle and feel the tears in mine starting to form. 

“Ty?” I gently call, seeing his eyes close. “Ty?” I repeat, bringing my arm through to touch his hand resting in his lap. “Tyreese?” I say, squeezing his hand with no response. Glenn stretches his arm over and feels his pulse on his neck. When he hangs his head, I know he’s gone and my tears fall down my cheek at seeing Ty drift away in his final moments. I can’t bring myself to let go of his hand, not yet. We’d all lost a friend just now; I’d just lost my companion that I had back in the woods. If it hadn’t had been for Ty, if he hadn’t had been there at the grove, I wasn’t sure I would have made it out; made it though what we both went through. I’d just lost a man, a friend, that meant a great deal to me. a great deal to us all. He was a good man, and a gentle soul. Just like with Beth, the world was now even darker without him in it.

“He’s gone.” Glenn announces sadly to the rest of us.

Rick looks back, and as he does for a moment, I see the distress and sadness in his eyes grow at the sight of Tyreese. He doesn’t say a word and neither does anyone else. When he looks back to the road, he gradually hits the brakes until the car comes to a stop. All of us knew what was coming next, and we’d stop it before that happened. 

All of us got out the car, as Glenn opened his door and started to lift Ty out. Rick moved around the door to get hold of Ty’s legs and they both lifted him to the ground on the road, laying him down gently as I came around the car to them. The four of us stood around Tyreese, all distraught at what had unfolded, at seeing his lifeless body now laid before us. As Rick walked around in distress, the rest of us looked down. I knew my weapon would be the only one that would be a clean, small stab, and quiet, and I wanted it to be me. Ty and I had kept each other alive; I wanted to be the one to end his suffering. I owed him that, and much more. I unsheathed my katana with a heavy sigh through my tears, before kneeling at his side.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, looking at Ty’s face as I held my sword’s tip at the side of his head. With a swift and sad motion, I stab his head with the tip as I close my eyes, bringing it back out with a pained cry of breath I didn’t know I was holding.

After burying Tyreese, it was hard for us all to hang onto any hope now. Even me. I knew we had to get out of the open, and I knew we needed to find a place, a new sanctuary for us all, but it was hard to imagine getting to that now. After Terminus, after Bob, after Beth, after losing a chance at a home, and now after Ty, the hope at finding a place seemed near impossible to hold onto now, and we were all feeling it along with the grief of the past few weeks. How we’d get out of this dark hole, I wasn’t sure, but we had to. Eventually, we’d have to. If we were going to move on, to survive.


	13. thirteen

We had all been cramped into the van after we buried Tyreese; the car we’d been in had run dry on its gas as we neared the others. They had to drive up to meet us with the van when we buried him. Then being on the road, all in the van, it hadn’t been long until we used our last bit of gas in that. We’d barely gone nearly twenty miles when it came to a halt. Our supplies had been next to none on the way to Noah’s home and we had none the last few days up to it. We’d hoped to find a home there, and with it supplies, but that didn’t work out and now we’d been without water for a few days, and with the sun beating down on us also for the past few days, it had dried all the water around. Walking in the scorching heat, in the drought, we found no food and no water, no matter how many times we stopped and searched around. We all felt weak and dehydrated after the few days, making our journey even slower, and the grief of recent events was still taking its toll considerably across the group.

“Shit.” I mumble, sat next to Rick on the road with the rest of the group, when I saw Daryl, Maggie and Sasha emerge out the woods ahead, being the last to get back after looking for water. “They didn’t find any either.” I mutter.

“How’d you know?” Rick asks quietly, looking over at them in the distance. “I know.” I mumble. They were far away, but I could still read their faces.

“How much longer we got?” I ask after a moment.

“60 miles.” Rick answers.

“I wasn’t talking about that.” I point out, getting up to a stand, readying myself to start walking again as Daryl and the others came back to us.

Walking in the heat, without having drunk an ounce of water or a bit of food for days, was taking a toll on us all, and I was feeling especially heavy nowadays which didn’t help the matter in anyway. It had been three weeks now since Atlanta, and about a month since the fall of the prison. If I had worked it out right, I was probably due in a couple weeks or so, which was filling me with dread with every day we spent out here, since the prison. We needed something. We needed a few things, and I hoped they’d present themselves soon.

Daryl and I were walking up front of the group, but we weren’t speaking. He was still being quiet and distant after losing Beth; he was grieving. I had kept my distance since, but now I just wanted him to know I was there with him, while he grieved, and he didn’t have to suffer within alone. 

When we heard someone walking up right behind us, we both turn to see its Rick. I move to the side slightly as we both look at the collective group. Rick turns and looks back at them with us, seeing their deflating, desolate faces before he comes to walk in the gap between us, holding Judith.

“We’re not at our strongest. We’ll get ‘em when it’s best. High ground, something like that. They’re not going anywhere.” Rick points out.

“I know.” I reply at his side as the three of us walked up front.

Rick turned his attention to Daryl. “It’s been three weeks since Atlanta. I know you lost something back there.” Rick converses, but Daryl doesn’t say anything as Judith then fusses a little. 

“She’s hungry.” I state.

“She’s okay. She’s going to be okay.” Rick assures. “So are you.” He adds, I look to him a little unconvinced but nod at him regardless. 

“We need to find water, food.” Daryl suddenly says.

“We’ll hit some in the road. It’s gonna rain sooner or later.” Rick points out.

“I’m gonna head out. See what I can find.” Daryl declares coming to a stop, handing Rick his rifle.

“Hey, don’t be too long.” Rick instructs as Daryl steps to go off.

“I’ll go with you.” I call.

“I got it.” Daryl retorts continuing to walk towards the treeline off the road.

“You gonna stop me?” I chime as I follow him, making him look back to see me coming up behind and he doesn’t argue, just turns back around and carries on into the woods.

After looking around for a while, yet again we found nothing, but I knew we wouldn’t. I just wanted to talk to Daryl alone for a moment. He had been there for me when I was grieving, and I still was, but he had helped me out of it mostly. Now I had to try and help him, with his own way.

“Anything?” I ask as we look around.

“No, it’s too dry. There ain’t nothin’ here.” Daryl answers.

“Maybe we should start back.” I suggest.

“You go.” Daryl urges.

I sigh. “She saved my life.” I suddenly announce. “She saved your life too, right?” I gently point out and step over to Daryl. I take a knife from my belt, Beth’s knife that I got from the bag we were given at Grady. It had all my things in and the only thing of Beth’s that was in there was her knife. 

“It was hers.” I state, holding the knife in its holster between us for him to take, and with what looks like a heavy heart he does. His look of pain and grief coming out more visibly when he holds it in his hand, looking down at it.

“We’re not dead.” I gently say, causing him to look back up at me. “That’s what you said.” I add. “You’re not dead. I know you. We’re different. I can’t let myself--,” I continue, stopping myself before I worked up tears. “But you-- I know you. You have to let yourself feel it.” I explain.

Daryl looks at me silent, sadness in his eyes. I reach up and tenderly brush the strands of hair away off the side of his forehead, that dangled over his eye. I leant myself forward and planted a kiss on his cheek, hoping it would make him feel even the tiniest bit comforted. “You will.” I whisper standing in front of him.

I take his hand softly and urge him to come back with me. “Come on.” I mutter, smally nodding back in the direction of the group and we start walking back.

When we come back onto the road, we come up behind the group at an overpass who are dispatching a large cluster of walkers. Daryl and I rush over, helping kill the last of them from the back. Daryl helps Rick, Michonne and Glenn one side while I help the others on the opposite. As we all take down the walkers, I notice Sasha looks as if she’s on a rampage. I step over and grab her arm to turn her to face me but she instinctively brings her knife back, almost stabbing me but stops herself. 

“Stop. Just get out of here.” I order. Her being like this was just something that would wind up with her being hurt or getting somebody else hurt. She snatches her arm from my grip, and ignores me, continuing to stab at the walkers as the rest of us do.

Killing the last few walkers, I turn to see Sasha aggressively slash her knife across at one that came up behind her, slicing its throat but just catching Abraham’s arm with her knife at the end, cutting him a little. He looks down at it, then her briefly as she steps back, before killing the walker she sliced. She goes for the last couple walkers coming at us, resuming to aggressively stab the first. When she pulls her knife out the walker, I come to her side and push her out the way, making her fall to the ground, before swinging my katana and killing the last walker.

“I told you to stop.” I sternly state, panting as I pointed at her.

She gets to her feet, staring at me with complete anger but I don’t falter my gaze. The way she was being was going to get herself killed. Just like Tyreese had been. She steps towards me, saying nothing and still staring before breaking it and walks off towards the rest of the group at the other side of the overpass. I look back at the rest of the group here, all of us panting; we’d used a lot of energy we didn’t have for this.

Sometime later, as we continued walking, we came across a car wreckage ahead in the road. It wasn’t huge; looked about three maybe four cars but there was a chance they could have supplies. Even just one of them.

“I’m gonna head into the woods, circle back.” Daryl announces. 

“May I come with?” I ask as he starts walking off into the woods again.

“No. No, just me.” Daryl replies, stopping me and heading off.

The rest of us moved up the road towards the wreckage, most of us stopping around it, looking out as cover as a few of the group checked the cars. After seeing Sasha like she had been at the overpass earlier, I decided to try and talk to her; since Bob and then Tyreese, she had been swallowing herself in rage. As she stood, with her rifle in hand, I came to stand at her side.

“We barely have anything left. There was no use in spending it back there.” I gently point out.

“So what? It’s done.” She states.

“Your brother was pissed, too- after what he lost.” I start, thinking back to how Tyreese had been after he lost Karen, and how Sasha was now acting the same. “At the time-- it made him stupid.” I explain.

“We are not the same. We never were.” Sasha retorts.

“But it’s still the same. It just is.” I calmly assert. Sasha says nothing, instead just walks off away from me.

Later in the day, we stopped at the side of the road, resting from the sun and fatigue for a while; all of us sat there in desolate silence once again. I sat next to Daryl with my head rested on his shoulder. I was tired, hungry and weak, and he was just about the main thing, if not the only thing, keeping me from keeling over and giving up.

The silence was suddenly broken at the sound of rustling and growls at the other side of the road, but it wasn’t walkers, it was a small pack of now feral dogs. Everyone in the group instantly tenses for a fight, and Daryl crouches himself on his feet in front of me holding his knifes as we all looked at the bloody dogs now barking threateningly at us. Their barks were stopped all of a sudden by silenced gunshots, with brief pained whines as they slumped to the ground, dead. The sound of the gunshots had made all of us jump a little, and we turned to see Sasha stood with her rifle poised. The action had taken us all a little by surprise, but then again, it was going to be us or them.

After we’d built a fire, we had cooked the dogs over it. It wasn’t something I had wanted to do, or watch or eat, but food was food, and we were desperate. We’d all been eating for a little while when I started to feel a little nauseous. And it didn’t take long from feeling nauseous to knowing I was going to be sick. I quickly handed the bit of meat I had in my hand to Daryl as I pulled myself to a stand. I tried rushing over the road into the treeline to conceal myself from everyone, but I didn’t make it and throw up hunched over at the other side of the road. Not a lot came up though; there wasn’t much down there. I stood hunched over for a moment, breathing through the nausea when I felt a hand gently rubbing my back.

“You alright?” Daryl softly asks. 

I stand myself up straight, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Not really.” I reply, I had felt empty before, now I felt even more so. The first bit of food we’ve had in days and the baby rejects it. “Guess the kid doesn’t like dog.” I add, walking back over to the group.

Back on the road, I was hanging in the back. After throwing up whatever I had left in my stomach, mixed with the heat, I felt worse and I didn’t think that was possible. We were really at a low. 

In front, Glenn held out a water bottle he took from his pack, with a little bit of water left, in front of Maggie at his side. She looked to initially refuse but after they talked, she took a small sip. Glenn then turned around, looking at the few us behind. I walked alongside Abraham with Daryl just in front, as Glenn stopped waiting.

“Daryl.” Glenn says, holding the bottle out to him as he came up to his side.

“No, I’m alright.” Daryl dismisses, but Glenn holds the bottle out in persistence. He just ignores it. 

“Just take a damn sip, Daryl.” I weakly urge from behind.

“Don’t.” he quietly chimes, facing back to me as I came up to him.

“Hey, we can make it together. But we can only make it together.” I state as we walk and he comes to a stop as I continue on. Glenn holds the bottle out for me, which I take a small sip from. I thank him with a small nod, and he takes it back.

“Tell ‘em I went lookin’ for water.” Daryl quietly says to Abraham behind, but I still heard him. At hearing his words and then the rustling of branches, it makes me stop on the spot and sigh. Turning around I see Daryl leaving into the woods. I wondered for a second if I should just leave him be, but I decided against it. I stepped forward to follow over to where he’d entered the woods, when Abraham touches my arm.

“Maybe you should just let him do his thing.” Abraham suggests.

“Maybe.” I agree. “But something’s telling me not to.” I add and I follow after him through into the woods. I could see him smally ahead in the distance of the woods and followed him until I came close to where he had stopped. There was a clearing with an old, small barn ahead, and I spotted Daryl had perched himself against a tree, sat on the ground smoking. He wasn’t looking around for anything, he was just sitting doing nothing. Maybe he did need a moment to himself. I felt bad for watching but I just wanted to make sure he was okay. But I suddenly find myself emerging out into the clearing behind him when I see him burn the cigarette into the back of hand without a flinch or grimace. He quickly looks up at hearing my approach and eases slightly seeing it was me. He looks back down at the ground as I sit myself down next to him, neither of us saying a word. He drops the cigarette out his hand and I tenderly hold the one he burned, bringing it to my lap. I gently brush the bits of ash left on the burn away with my finger before bringing it up and softly kissing his hand over the burn. As I entwine my hand with his, resting it back down between us, Daryl starts to cry. There it was. He was finally letting himself feel it after holding in so much over the weeks. I was happy to see him let go but saddened at the rare display of his raw emotions. The grip our hands held together tightened as he cried and I rested against his side as a few silent tears crept down my cheeks with him. I was glad I came after him, in this moment of grief and feeling his emotions, I was there to comfort him. I was there and truly showing him he didn’t have to face it alone, and I knew he got that at the squeeze our hands felt together as he cried. 

We’d sat there for a while, silent together, holding each other as we thought on about the things and people we’d lost in the last month. Grieving even now, still. It had been some big losses we’d been dealt and I wondered, and hoped, that we were about due something positive for a change. Then as we went through the woods, coming back ahead more on the road, we saw the group out on the road standing around. When the both of us emerged out the woods, coming amongst the group, we saw what they were stood around. It was a huge supply of water in various sized bottles. The whole thing was strange. We’d needed something positive, and now something that was, was right in front of us, but I didn’t trust it. None of us seemed to. It was overly precarious that a large supply of water was just sat in the middle of the road. Rick handed Daryl a sheet of paper that we both read, saying ‘from a friend’. We instinctively looked around us as Daryl took his crossbow from off his back. Someone had to be watching us, and we had no idea. I wanted to believe this was legit, I really did, but the doubt made me distrust it. supposed friend or not, we didn’t know how or who put it there, nor did we see anyone put it there or that someone had been probably watching us. 

“What else are we gonna do?” Tara questions, probably resuming a conversation they were having before we showed up.

“Not this. We don’t know who left it.” Rick states.

“If that’s a trap, we already happen to be in it. But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend.” Eugene chimes. 

“What if it isn’t? They put something in it?” I point out.

Eugene then suddenly lunges forward and grabs one of the water bottles. “Eugene.” Rosita snaps. “What are you doing, dude?” Tara asks.

“Quality assurance.” Eugene replies, as he unscrews the top. Abraham then steps forward and slaps the bottle from his hand as Eugene was about to take a sip. Everyone looks at Eugene in silence as Abraham stands back.

“We can’t.” Rick reiterates.

For a moment, we stand in silence again, faced with the debating possibility that this was or wasn’t from a friend, but regardless we weren’t drinking it. That’s when the faint sound of thunder rumbles in the sky. It quickly grows louder as we all look up to the sky and see it and the clouds turning grey. Soon after, just as quickly as it came, the rain quickly follows. It falls down on us and swiftly turns into a hard downpour. Most of us smile, laugh, and hold our arms out at the welcome cold feeling of the rain on our skin. I smile as I hold my face up to the hard drops, feeling them on my skin and hearing the thunder clap loudly in the sky above. 

“Everybody get the bags. Anything you can find. Come on.” Rick orders, and we all collect the bottles we had and anything else we could fill with water, standing them on the road to collect the rainwater.

It wasn’t long at all when the thunder boomed and the rain intensified, that it was nearing dangerous to stay out here in the open with the impending storm that looked to be heading our way from in the distance. 

“Let’s keep moving.” Rick yells above the thunder and the group start to gather the bottles. I look to Daryl, remembering the barn back where we had sat before and he obviously did to; when I looked at him he then turned to Rick.

“There’s a barn.” Daryl shouts.

“Where?” Rick questions.

Daryl looks back into the woods, before gesturing for everyone to follow. We lead them through the woods back towards the clearing with the old barn, with slight urgency as the storm neared as we went. When we got there, a few of us did a quick sweep of it before we all came in. Maggie and I went in last, and I saw her stop at a door near the entrance as everyone went further in. I stayed with her as she opened the door, inside was a weak walker, crawling on the floor now towards us. When it got closer, Maggie stabbed it with her knife. Looking around the little room, the walker, formerly a woman, had hauled herself up in here, trying to survive. 

“She had a gun.” Maggie announces, as I spot the rifle she was talking about. “She could have shot herself.” She points out.

“Some people can’t give up.” I state. “Like us.” I add.

Once we were all in, we settled down around the old barn. A few of us started a small fire, but a lot of us were scattered around, mostly in silence. Rick, Daryl, me, Glenn, Michonne and Carol sat around the fire as the others sat around the barn, either alone with their own thoughts or sleeping, as we all rode out the night and the storm within the barn.

“Why don’t you try and sleep.” Rick suggests to me, as I fidget sat next to Daryl by the little fire we’d made in the barn, that a few of us were sat by. 

“I would if I could.” I answer, looking to the side of him where Carl laid, holding Judith as they both slept soundly. “You think I like watching him sleep soundly, while I’m over here weighing a ton, getting the holy hell kicked out of me.” I chime, with a weak smile, Rick mirroring it as I tried to make a joke. But I was too tired to even manage much of a smile, let alone a small chuckle. I hated this. I was tired, my body was tired, yet it wouldn’t let me sleep, and as if that weren’t enough I was starting to feel a slight uncomfortable pain in my bump, making my back start to ache. This baby was really putting me through it lately, but that was to be expected; I only had a couple weeks left if I was right in counting. 

Rick looked over at Carl sleeping with Judith in his arms. “He’s gonna be okay. He bounces back, more than any of us do.” I assure Rick as he turns back to face us.

“I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this. But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them.” Rick announces, but I disagreed with him instantly. 

“This isn’t the world.” I retort, the tone turning sombrely serious.

“It’s not.” Michonne backs.

“It might be. It might.” Glenn deflatingly admits.

“That’s giving up.” I counter.

“It’s reality.” Glenn states.

“Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with.” Rick finishes, and we all go quiet for a moment. 

“When I was a kid-- I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war.” Rick starts. “He wouldn’t answer. He said that was grownup stuff, so--,” Rick scoffs a little at the memory. “So I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself ‘Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war.’” Rick narrates as we all listen to his story. “And then after a few years of pretending he was dead-- he made it out alive. That’s the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do, and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we’ll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves-- that we are the walking dead.” Rick finishes. 

We all look around at each other slightly, hearing his final words. Taking them in. I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of it. We weren’t dead. And we were nothing like the walkers.

“We ain’t them.” Daryl states suddenly, speaking my thoughts, if not the rest of ours as he stared into the small fire.

“We’re not them.” Rick assures. “Hey. We’re not.” He reiterates, getting Daryl to face him, who then stands up from the group.

“We ain’t them.” he repeats before walking off somewhere else in the barn.

The rest of us watch him walk away, before returning to a silence gathered around the fire. As I sat there, the pain in my abdomen was starting to grow and I was fidgeting around to try and sit in a comfortable position, but I couldn’t find a single one, so I gave up with a sigh.

“You know what, I think I will try to sleep.” I announce, pushing myself up. I knew it was very much unlikely I’d get an ounce of sleep, but I just wanted to lay down, in the hope it would somehow relive the discomfort I was feeling right now. I walked away from the others, going to find a spot that wasn’t being occupied. Seeing the front space only had a couple people sleeping in it I headed around towards it, but as I stepped into space I suddenly heard thudding. Looking up ahead, I saw Daryl pushing himself against the barn doors, holding them shut best he could against a considerable resistance. I didn’t even think before rushing over to help; I didn’t have to look through the crack of the doors to know there were walkers on the other side. The doors had a chain attached, one that was already there, but it was old and weak, and with the walkers and the storm it was only a matter of time before it gave way. Both of us pushed to keep the doors shut, one of us on each of them but we were struggling. That’s when Maggie came to my side at the door, pushing against it with us. Then Sasha came to Daryl’s side. Other’s started to hear the commotion over the noise cracking outside and rushed to join us at the barn doors. The storm raged outside as soon, all of us were pushing ourselves against the barn doors in effort to keep the walkers out. We were the only thing between us and them, the only thing keeping them from getting inside.

As we were all holding the doors, the pain I was feeling had considerably increased and now was getting worse and worse. I was trying my best to breath through it as we held the doors, but it was proving entirely difficult to even keep holding the doors. My breaths started to turn into cries of pain, but even I could hardly hear them over the storm and walkers outside. The pain was contractions. I couldn’t believe it was happening now. I was going into labour. The baby really chose it moment. I turned around and pushed my back against the doors, letting shrieks of pain out. I couldn’t move away from the door, we needed everyone at it to keep it closed, but with every moment the pain was getting unbearable. 

“Hey! You okay?” Maggie yells beside me, I face her and see concern all over her face.

“The baby!” I call out through a cry of pain. My shrieks turned into screams as I slid down the barn doors, unable to keep myself stood against them. I was slumped on the floor against the thudding doors, screaming out in pain, as I was telling myself I couldn’t move away from them.

“What’s wrong?!” Rick shouts loudly over everything.

“The baby’s coming!” Maggie yells.

“Get her to the other side of the barn now!” Daryl orders louder than anyone.

“No! The-- the door!” I scream through the pain.

“I wasn’t askin’! Do it!” Daryl shouts.

I feel someone’s hands under my arms and see Maggie at my side, helping me to my feet, supporting me as she helped me through the barn while the others kept themselves against the doors. As I laid down, screeching and trying to breathe through it all, Maggie was there helping me in every way she could. If someone would have told me a couple months ago that I’d be giving birth in an old barn out in the open, during a hell of a storm with walkers trying to get inside as I delivered, then to be honest, I probably would have believed them. With the way things went in this world, it wouldn’t have been so hard to believe and it was happening. But it was surprising to see how far we’d fallen from a couple months ago. We’d lost so much from the prison to now. I just prayed that I got through this, that maybe the baby would breed a new form of hope, that it would finally be something positive and not another tragedy. But as Maggie continued to reassure me through my screams of pain as I laid here about to deliver in this barn, I started to wonder again what exactly I was bringing this child into.


	14. fourteen

The previous night had been one of the most worried Daryl had been. Seeing and hearing Y/N in pain like that had shot his panic right up. Plus holding the doors closed against the walkers had become even more vital, if they got in, they were the only thing between Y/N and she was in no condition to go anywhere. But then after a long while of holding the doors, the walkers were suddenly gone. The storm had intensified so much it had swept them away from the doors and it sounded as if the sky was falling down on them out there. They all secured the doors with the old chain that was already attached to them and with whatever else they could find to assure it was strong against the raging storm. 

Y/N screamed for hours through the night, even past the storm when it eased and eventually stopped. Daryl had paced around her and Maggie as well as being at her side. He would switch between the two, not knowing what to do with himself. As the night went on, however, nothing came of Y/N’s labor and after hours, she did not deliver and gradually her pain and screams lessened. Turning into shrieks, to pained cries, to just exhausted breathing, with no baby. After that, she had looked entirely exhausted and drained and he felt for her. She looked weak. She hadn’t been sleeping, any food she’d eaten recently, she’d brought back up, the lack of water wasn’t helping anybody and now this. Daryl sat himself with her, at the back of the barn where Y/N laid, and she curled up next to him. He sat up against the wall, holding her close to his side as Y/N eventually drifted off, finally, into a sleep.

Daryl sat against the back of the barn wall, looking out across the barn at everyone scattered around sleeping all night. Y/N was still sleeping, her head on his lap while he gently stroked her hair as the morning light started to creep through the cracks of the barn. When the light started to shine through Maggie approached him at the back, having woke up, and sat herself next to him.

“False labor is quite common. She’ll be alright.” Maggie quietly announces, being the only two awake, looking next to Daryl stroking a sleeping Y/N at his side. “Just means it’s actually gonna happen real soon.” She adds. Daryl nods slightly in acknowledgment as he looked over Y/N.

“You should get some sleep. You’ve been up with her all night. And watching all of us.” Maggie gently urges.

“Yeah.” Daryl softly replies, but he doesn’t move an inch, staying right by Y/N.

“It’s okay to rest now.” Maggie assures.

Daryl still doesn’t move and for a moment they don’t talk, they both just look out around the group, until Maggie’s attention lands on Sasha and Daryl sees this.

“He was tough.” Daryl says, referring to Ty. 

“He was.” Maggie agrees.

“So was she. She didn’t know it, but she was.” Daryl states, now talking about Beth. Maggie doesn’t respond but she turns to face back to Daryl, each of them sharing a small smile at the memory of Beth.

Daryl brings out Maggie’s broken music box from his side, the one Carl had given her he’d found on a run for water with others. Daryl held it out for her to take back, as he had fixed it for her in the night.

“The gearbox had some grit in it.” Daryl explains as she holds it in her hands.

“Thank you.” Maggie says. Daryl gives her a slight nod before he carefully goes to shuffle down to sleep.

-

A slight movement next to me woke me from my sleep. I was glad to get some, even it was only a few hours. The night had really taken it out of me and I’d fallen almost straight to sleep when the pain was almost gone and lingered bearably. Opening my eyes, I could see the morning light shining through into the barn and I could still feel a lingering ache in my body from the previous night. A part of me had been relieved it was a false labor; this wasn’t exactly the place I’d want to have the real thing. But then a part of me was dreading to go through that all again, only it’d feel a lot worse. As I stirred awake, I felt Daryl’s hand on my back as I push myself to a sit beside him.

“You good?” Daryl tenderly asks.

“Fine. Just ache a little.” I answer, looking to him and Maggie who was sat by his other side.

“Have you been up all night?” I question, looking at his tired eyes.

“He has.” Maggie replies for him.

I let out a little sigh and kiss him lightly on the cheek. “I gonna walk around. I need air.” I announce as I start to pull myself up to stand. Daryl goes to help me, but I stop him.

“No. Sleep. I’ll be fine.” I assure, resting my hand against his chest to stop him and he nods, setting himself back against the barn wall.

“I’ll come with you. Fresh air sounds good.” Maggie says, bringing herself into a stand.

I pick my katana up and strap it to my back, before the both of us walk around the rest of the sleeping group to the front barn doors. When we quietly open them, we come outside to see absolute destruction. There are some weak walkers snarling, scattered around and impaled by fallen and struck broken trees but most of them killed. The path of the destruction followed a line across the woods and through the small clearing we were in. The storm had been a tornado and had just about missed us in the barn. Perhaps that was our first positive, the weather spared us. Even if it wasn’t, I strived to see it that way.

“Look at this.” Maggie starts as we walked through the destroyed area around us. “Should have torn us apart.” She points out.

“It didn’t.” I declare.

Coming through the wreckage, we eventually stop when we come to a large clearing of a field stretching over the view. The sun was starting to rise and an array of colours was washing the sky as the day came to life. It was peaceful. I sat myself down at the base of a fallen tree with Maggie joining me to my side, both of sat watching the sunrise. We sat there for a while, just taking the rising morning in silence until I finally broke it.

“You know—after last night. Well- after everything.” I suddenly start. “The world I’m bringing the baby into—I don’t know if it’ll make it.” I continue, feeling my emotions come out with my words, my thoughts. “I don’t if I’m gonna make it.” I add sadly.

“It will. You will. --You’re gonna make it.” Maggie assures. “Both of us, we will. –All of us. That’s the hard part.” She continues. Maggie was right. I had to stop thinking like that. We were here, and we were alive. So we had a chance. I owed it to the people who weren’t here, that gave us those, to keep fighting and bury those thoughts.

“Maggie-- I’m sorry about Beth.” I woefully say as the both of us sit there, emotions stirring within us.

“She saved me, back at Grady. If it weren’t for her, I don’t think--,” I start, but stop myself at all the memories of what happened back at that place. “I just wish she were here. I wish I could tell her that I’m sorry. That I owe her. That-- we will make it.” I add, facing Maggie. Showing her with my last words, that what she said had sunk in.

“She knows.” Maggie states, taking my hand. As we squeezed each other’s hand, sat on the tree trunk, we smiled smally at each other. 

I then notice the music box Maggie was holding in her other hand and look at her questioningly. I knew Carl had given it to her, but it was broken.

“Daryl fixed it.” she states, letting go of my hand and bringing it up into both her hands. She opens it up, revealing a little ballerina inside, and winds it up, but nothing happens.

Maggie sighs with a smile, and I mirror her at seeing it was still not working even with Daryl’s handy work. “You gotta be kidding me.” she says and the both of us laugh as she sets it down between us on tree. 

“I guess that’s what happens when you trust a redneck for the job.” I joke, as we both laugh at the sad display.

“Hey.” A voice calls, making us look in the direction to our side. “Hi.” A man greeted again, his hands up as he slowly walked in our direction. Seeing him we both instantly stood. Maggie drew her gun and I unsheathed my katana as I didn’t have my weapons belt on, so no gun.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt. Good morning. My name is Aaron.” Aaron introduces as he continues to slowly approach us, even with Maggie’s gun aimed and my katana out ready if he got too close. I was still a little achy, but I could still swing my sword for sure. “I know, stranger danger. But I’m a friend.” He assures, coming to a stop just in front of us. He kept his hands up and even wore a smile as he approached us. He didn’t appear threatening and when he said he was a friend, my mind immediately went to the water. I wasn’t sure whether to trust this man, but if he had wanted to hurt us then why had he announced himself so freely.

“I’d like to talk to the person in charge. Rick, right?” Aaron asks. How did he know his name? If he had left the water, then he had definitely been watching us, maybe even listening.

“How do you know--,” Maggie ponders aloud. “Why?” I question calmly.

“I have good news.” He declares with a smile and suddenly the music starts playing on the tree trunk. Maggie and I glance at it, seeing the ballerina spin as the music plays. I didn’t think too much into things before, but considering the luck we’d had lately, the sudden playing of the music box made me think. Maybe it was a sign. It had been broken, it had needed a minute, but now it was working. If this Aaron guy was legit, was he truly a friend? And was this now our chance at finally working, after being broken for so long. Or perhaps being out here for so long was just getting to me and I was just reading too much into things.

“And what good news is that?” Maggie asks, snapping me from my thoughts.

“I have a place, nearby. With walls. I think your group would prove to be valuable members to our community.” Aaron answers. “I’m out here recruiting. This is my job. It’s not mine, however, to let you in. Someone else decides that. You’d go through a kind of audition process to be allowed to stay. But I believe you would. As I said before, I think you’d be a valuable group to our community.” He continues.

Maggie and I share a look, and I can read from her expression that she’s thinking the same as me, that he seems harmless enough. His explanation sounded strange and vague but if it was true, they had a place with walls. This really could be our chance. One finally that was actually a fighting chance of being real. “Keep your hands up.” I calmly order, sheathing my sword as I walked over to Aaron while Maggie kept her gun on him. 

“I assure you, I’m not going to hurt you.” Aaron says as I come up in front of him.

“Even so. Take your pack off and keep your hands up.” I coolly reiterate. 

“Okay.” Aaron complies as he takes his pack off and hands it to me. I throw it back towards Maggie, keeping my eyes on Aaron before beginning to pat him down. He was clean apart from one handgun, which I took and tucked into the back of my jeans. As I stood in front of Aaron, tucking his gun into my jeans I turned to see Maggie holding his pack. I gave her a questioning look, as if to ask if we were sure about doing this, and she affirmed my look with a nod. When I looked back to Aaron he was still stood with his hands up.

“You can put your hands down now, Aaron.” I tell him, which he does. “We’re not going to hurt you either. Unless you do something stupid. So don’t.” I state.

“Fair enough.” He replies with a slight smile. I wasn’t sure if his smiling unnerved me or eased me. I guess we’d find out for sure soon enough. “So, what are your names?” Aaron asks. Maggie and I share another look, but I shrug slightly, seeing no harm in telling him our names now. 

“Y/N.” I reply.

“Maggie.” She answers after me.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Aaron says.

“Come on. The other’s will be awake now no doubt.” I urge, turning around for him to follow us both back to the barn.

When we got back, I stayed in front of Aaron while Maggie stayed behind him as I opened the doors to bring him inside. 

“Hey.” I call, as I open the barn doors and see everyone is now awake, sat around the barn. “Everyone-- this is Aaron.” I announce, standing to the side as I step inside, revealing him behind me to the group. Everyone instantly cocks their guns at seeing him; those getting up to their feet who weren’t already. Daryl immediately rushes over, straight past the three of us and stands in the doorway, looking around outside quickly.

“We met him outside. He’s by himself.” I point out, seeing Daryl check outside who then turns and steps behind Aaron, starting to pat him down. “We took his weapon and we took his gear.” I add, as he pats him. Sasha then closes the barn doors, securing the chain on them as everyone stands staring at Aaron.

“Hi.” Aaron greets, still holding his hands up slightly at his side.

Rick stood straight up ahead in the barn, holding Judith, looking very unsure of the man, but understandingly so. Judith starts to fuss and he hands her over to Carl.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Aaron says, taking a step forward and putting his hand out, but a few others cock their guns at his movement and Daryl takes a step forward behind him in reflex. Aaron quickly retracts his gesture, almost instantaneously, and keeps his hands still up at his side.

“You said he had a weapon?” Rick questions, looking to me at Aaron’s side.

I walk over to Rick, taking Aaron’s gun out the back of my jeans as I do, and hand it to him. I move to his side, standing next to him as he checks the rounds in the gun and then puts it in the back of his trousers, before looking back to Aaron.

“There something you need?” he asks.

“He has a camp nearby. He wants us to audition for membership.” Maggie answers before Aaron can.

“I wish there was another word. Audition makes it sound like we’re some kind of dance troupe. That’s only on Friday nights.” Aaron jokes, with a smile, but everyone’s expressions are plain and unamused, including my own. 

Aaron shakes it off, reading the room. “Um, and it’s not a camp. It’s a community. I think you all would make valuable additions. But it’s not my call. My job is to convince you all to follow me back home.” Aaron explains, but no one says a word. “I know. If I were you, I wouldn’t go either. Not until I knew exactly what I was getting into.” He continues, before turning to Maggie at his side. “Maggie, can you hand Rick my pack?” he asks.

Maggie brings it over to Rick, handing it over before stepping back. “Front pocket, there’s an envelope.” Aaron points out as Rick puts the pack to the ground. 

“There’s no way I could convince you to come with me just by talking about our community. That’s why I brought those.” Aaron states, as Rick pulls out the envelope from the pack. “I apologise in advance for the picture quality. We just found an old camera store last--,” Aaron points out.

“Nobody gives a shit.” Daryl chimes coldly from behind Aaron, cutting him off.

Aaron turns his head back to look at Daryl, who stares blankly at him. “You’re absolutely 100% right.” Aaron, a little nervously, agrees, before turning back to look over at Rick, who was now pulling a pack of photos out from the envelope crouched down on the ground.

“That’s the first picture I wanted to show you because nothing I say about our community will matter unless you know you’ll be safe. If you join us, you will be. Each panel in that wall is a 15 foot high, 12 foot wide slab of solid steel. Framed by cold-rolled steal beams and square tubing.” Aaron explains as Rick stares at the first photo, before rising up back to a stand as we all listened to Aaron. He knew what he was talking about. It was like he had rehearsed it for this exact moment. It was just whether it was rehearsed for the right intentions was the only thing we had to figure out now, but the guy seemed okay to me. “Nothing alive or dead gets through that without our say-so. Like I said, security is obviously important. In fact, there’s only one resource more critical to our community’s survival. The people. Together we’re strong. You can make us even stronger.” Aaron declares and Rick turns his head to look at me. I raise my eyebrows slightly, showing him that I was thinking Aaron seemed alright to me before he turns back to look over at him. 

As Aaron then starts talking about the next photo, Rick begins striding over to him. “The next picture, you’ll see inside the gates. Our community was first construc--,” Aaron continues but is cut off brutally as Rick swing his fist and punches Aaron around the face, which knocks him out and sends him to the ground. Daryl instantly looks him over, checking he was out cold as Maggie comes to Aaron’s side in concern. Rick then turns and walks back over to where we were, where I was waiting with a slight annoyed, shocked expression.


	15. fifteen

“So we’re clear, that look wasn’t a ‘let’s attack that man’ look. It was a ‘he seems like an okay guy to me’ look.” I state to Rick in front of me.

“We got to secure him. Dump his pack. Let’s see what this guy really is.” Rick instructs, looking over to Carl.

“Rick.” I say, wanting to try and get him to listen but he ignores me.

“Everyone else, we need eyes in every direction. They’re coming for us. we might not know how or when, but they are.” Rick announces out to the whole group.

“Me and Maggie, we didn’t see him. If he had wanted to hurt us, he could’ve.” I point out as Daryl and Carol start tying Aaron’s hands behind his back.

“Anybody see anything?” Rick questions to the people looking out the few windows and cracks, neglecting my comment once again.

“Just a lot of places to hide.” Glenn answers, looking out one of the windows.

“Alright, keep looking.” Rick says walking back over to where Carl was checking the contents of Aaron’s pack as I walked over to Aaron to see if he was alright with Maggie, now Daryl and Carol had moved away.

After a short moment, Aaron started to regain consciousness and woke with a groan. He lifted his head and smiled. “That’s a hell of a right cross there, Rick.” Aaron states.

“Sit him up.” Rick orders Maggie and I.

“I think it’s better if--,” Maggie starts, but Aaron cuts her off. “It’s okay.” Aaron assures, groaning as he stretches his jaw.

“He’s fine. Sit him up.” Rick repeats. 

Both of us help him to a sit and stay crouched on one knee at either side of him. “You’re being cautious. I completely understand.” Aaron starts.

“How many of your people are out there?” Rick interjects, but Aaron says nothing.

“You have a flare gun. You have it to signal your people. How mant of them are there?” Rick questions again, holding the flare gun out from behind his back.

“Does it matter?” Aaron asks. “Yes. Yes it does.” Rick quickly and sternly replies.

“I mean, of course- it matters how many people are actually out there, but does it matter how many people I tell you are out there? Because I’m pretty sure no matter what number I say-- 8, 32, 444, 0-- no matter what I say, you’re not going to trust me.” Aaron declares.

“Well, it’s hard to trust anyone who smiles after getting punched in the face.” Rick retorts.

“How about a guy who leaves bottles of water for you in the road?” Aaron questions. So it was him. He was the so called friend. 

“How long you people been following us?” Daryl coldly asks, and I could hear the rough annoyance in his voice. 

“Long enough to see that you practically ignore a pack of roamers on your trail.” Aaron starts. Roamers? That was a new one. I’d heard geeks, biters, never that one. It made sense, I supposed. If any of this really made sense at all, actually. “Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other. You’re survivors, and you’re people. Like I said, and I hope you won’t punch me for saying it again, that is the most important resource in the world.” Aaron continues as I rise to a stand, listening to his words.

There’s a pause, and no one says anything, waiting for Rick who steps forward towards Aaron. “How many others are out there?” he asks again.

“One.” Aaron answers, and Rick just stares visibly unconvinced.

Aaron sighs. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me. if it’s not words, if it’s not pictures, what would it take to convince you that this is for real?” he questions, but Rick yet again says nothing.

“What if I drove you to the community? All of you? We leave now, we’ll get there by lunch.” Aaron suggests.

“I’m not sure how the 16 of us are going to fit in the car you and your one friend drove down here in.” Rick scornfully jabs.

“We drove separately. If we found a group, we wanted to be able to bring them all home. There’s enough room for all of us.” Aaron points out.

“And you’re parked just a couple miles away, right?” Carol chimes, the tone of her voice visibly sceptical. 

“East on Ridge Road, just after you hit Route 16. We wanted to get them closer, but then the storm came, blocked the road. We couldn’t clear it.” Aaron explains.

“Yeah, you’ve really thought this through.” Rick announces. No one seemed to be believing in this at all, and after everything, I got why, but passing something like this up so quickly, so dismissively, was ridiculous. We should at least check it out, I thought, but I wondered if anyone thought the same. Maybe Maggie? I hoped, at least I’d have one person on my side of thinking.

“Rick, if I wanted to ambush you, I’d do it here. you know, light the barn on fire while you slept, pick you off as you ran out the only exit. You can trust me.” Aaron assures.

There’s another moment of silence, as Rick just stares down at Aaron.

“I’ll check out the cars.” I announce. 

“There aren’t any cars. And you can’t.” Rick argues.

“I perfectly able to walk, Rick. And there’s only one way to find out.” I counter.

“We don’t need to find out.” Rick retorts.

“We do.” I declare. “You know what you know, and you’re sure of it, but I’m not.” I state.

“Me neither.” Maggie backs. Good, she did agree with me. I had someone. 

“Your way’s dangerous, mine isn’t.” Rick points out.

“Passing up some place we can live? Where Judith can live? Where I can actually give birth, and not put everyone at risk? That’s pretty dangerous.” I state.

“We need to find out what this is. We can handle ourselves. So that’s what we’re gonna do.” I add.

“Then I will, too.” Glenn announces. 

“I’ll go.” Daryl adds.

“No. I want you here, with the others.” Rick asserts and Daryl looks hesitant to agree but I give him a slight nod in assurance and he then nods in affirmation to Rick, who then turns around, looking over at someone else. “Abraham.” He calls in order.

“Yeah. I‘ll walk with them.” he assures, gripping his rifle and coming forward.

Rick then turns back and faces another. “Rosita.” He calls next.

“Okay.” She confirms.

“If there’s trouble, you got enough firepower?” Rick questions stepping to Glenn and I.

“We got what we got.” Glenn answers and Rick then hands him Aaron’s gun.

“The walkies are out of juice. If you’re not back in 60 minutes, we’ll come.” Rick declares aloud and I nod my understanding as he looks to me. “Which might be just what they want.” Rick adds and with that I turn to leave.

“If we’re all in here, we’re a target.” Rick points out as our group heads for the doors.

“I’ve got the area covered.” Daryl announces behind us.

“Alright, groups of two, find somewhere safe within eyeshot.” I hear Rick order as we walk out from the barn.

The five of us walked for a mile or so, following the direction Aaron had explained where the cars he’d left were and we eventually came to the route 16 road, meaning we were getting closer. 

“Eyes open, everybody. Weapons up. You see someone coming at us, you fire.” Glenn instructs as we pass the route 16 sign.

“Copy that.” Abraham replies.

“So if we see someone, we just shoot them?” I question.

“It’s a good question.” Maggie backs.

“What if they’re someone like us? What if Aaron’s telling the truth? What if there’s someone who has nothing to do with this?” I point out.

“We’re five people with guns. No one’s coming up to say hello.” Glenn retorts.

“But that’s exactly what happened.” I counter.

“If it’s someone like us, we should be afraid of them. He said he was watching us, right? It means he saw us yesterday. And after everything we’ve done, why would he want us to join his group?” Glenn questions.

“People like us saved a priest. Saved a girl who rolled up to the prison with the Governor. Saved a sheriff and a woman with a sword stuck in a tank.” I explain with a slight smile to Glenn. “He saw that.” I point out, turning back to face the road, my smile fading back.

“I don’t know what he saw.” Glenn counters.

After walking further up the road, we finally came to what we were looking for, what I was hoping for. Some trees had come down across the road, blocking the way and parked behind them was a car and an RV. A sense of relief brushed through me as we stepped over the few trees, seeing and coming towards the two vehicles. 

“He was telling the truth.” I announce as we come up to the last fallen tree. 

Abraham and Rosita step over it, just as we all hear rustling from the shrubbery in the treeline right beside the road.

“Not one step closer, asshole!” Glenn exclaims as us three stand by the branches sticking out of the fallen tree as Abraham and Rosita use the car as cover, everyone holding their rifles and guns up, as I hovered my hand over my katana’s handle at my back. What eventually emerged from the bushes was just a couple walkers. All of us look at each other in relief, lowering their weapons.

“I got ‘em.” Abraham announces.

“We got th

“We got ‘em.” Rosita corrects, as they both strap their rifles and pull their hand weapons out. The both of them easily take down the couple walkers, before attaching their weapons back, swapping them out for their handguns. 

“We’ll sweep the RV.” Abraham calls and I nod my affirmation before the two of them head over to it. 

It wasn’t long until Rosita called out that the RV was all clear. After looking around, there was plenty of food supplies within it, the car too, but we found nothing sketchy. My feeling was that Aaron really was a friend, and he was going to be able to help us. I was sure of it. My feelings had usually been right, so far at least. I just hoped that streak wasn’t falling short now, and that my faith in Aaron wasn’t misplaced. 

The five of us drove the car and RV back to the barn, redirecting them back around the roads so we were headed back to the others. When we got back, Rick had wanted every bit of the supplies unloaded out the vehicles and into the barn. I was glad to see Aaron was still alive and uninjured when we got back, especially since he’d been telling the truth.

“This- this is ours now.” Rick states, standing up from the supply stash and turning to look at Aaron as he held one of the food cans.

“There’s more than enough.” Aaron assures.

“It’s ours whether or not we go to your camp.” Rick asserts.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t we go?” Carl questions and I was glad to see someone else was swaying away from hostility.

“If he were lying, or if he wanted to hurt us-- but he isn’t, and he doesn’t.” I answer, addressing the whole group. “I don’t know about all of you, but I’m tired. And we can’t be out in the open for much longer. It’s not doing us any favours. We need this. So we’re going all of us. Somebody say something if they feel differently.” I declare.

There’s a moment of silence, as everyone seems to look around at each other, contemplating but also waiting for Rick to agree, who I could tell still had a hint of hesitation. He looked around until he landed on Daryl.

“I don’t know, man. This barn smells like horseshit.” Daryl chimes, clearly seeing his lingering doubt also.

Rick sighs. “Yeah.” He says. 

“We’re going.” He finally announces. I small smile creeps onto the corner of my mouth, and Rick nods once slightly to me, which I mirror back at him before he turns back to face Aaron.

“So where are we going? Where’s your camp?” Rick asks.

“Well, every time I’ve done this, I’ve been behind the wheel driving recruits back. I believe you’re good people. I’ve bet my life on it. I’m just not ready to bet my friend’s lives just yet.” Aaron explains, and I see the impatience in Rick as he looks around hearing his words, so I walk forward, brushing past Rick to Aaron.

“You’re not driving. So if you wanna get home, you’ll have to tell us how.” I assert, standing before Aaron sat in the floor as Rick grabs a map from Aaron’s stuff and lays it out on the ground.

“Go north on route 16.” Aaron instructs.

“And then?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you when we get there.” Aaron states.

Rick sighs. “We’ll take 23 north. You’ll give us directions from there.” Rick announces.

“That’s-- I don’t know how else to say it- that’s a bad idea. We’ve cleared 16. It’ll be faster.” Aaron warns.

“We’ll take 23. We leave at sundown.” Rick reiterates.

“We’re doing this at night?” Sasha questions.

“Look, I know it’s dangerous. But it’s better than riding up to the gates during the day. If it isn’t safe, we nee to get gone before they know we’re there.” Rick explains.

“No one is going to hurt you. You’re trying to protect your group, but you’re putting them in danger.” Aaron points out.

“Tell me where the camp is, we’ll leave right now.” Rick states and Aaron says nothing, hanging his head.

Rick rises to his feet. “It’s gonna be a long night. eat. Get some rest if you can.” Rick announces as he strides towards the barn doors, leaving the barn. I follow his march with my eyes and decide to go after him. When I come out the barn, I see him walking over to the car. I come up to him as he is looking in the front, and he turns at hearing my approach.

“If you’re alright with it, I’m thinking you, me, and Glenn drive with that guy, seeing as you’re so sure of him.” Rick suggests.

“You’re not?” I ask, but he just looks at me not answering my question.

“I’ll be fine. We all will. Because this is gonna go right.” I assure.

Rick nods smally, still looking slightly unconvinced. “I know Daryl won’t like not being with you at the front, but I’d rather have him protecting the others. Carl and Judith are safer in the RV with the rest of them.” Rick continues, brushing past my comments.

“Yeah. He’ll get it. I do.” I reply.

There’s a slight pause between us, as I stare at Rick. “You okay?” He asks.

“When you said that we were going, was that for real? Or are you just trying to get this guy to tell you where his camp is?” I question.

Rick rises from the car. “We’re going.” He states, as he said before.

“Whatever it takes to get there. Just as long as we get there.” I point out.

“When you first came up on the walls outside Woodbury-- what did you hear?” Rick asks.

“Nothing.” I answer.

“And when you got to Terminus?” He asks.

“Nothing.” I repeat. 

Rick nods his head at my answers before he explains his point. “Sometime tonight, we’ll be outside his camp’s walls. And without seeing inside, I’m gonna have to decide whether to bring my family in. He asked me before what it would take for me to believe it was real. Truth is-- I’m not sure if anything could convince me to go in there. But I’m gonna see. I’m gonna see.”


	16. sixteen

Glenn drove the car with Rick in the front while I sat in the back with Aaron. We’d set off during the night, like Rick had said, with us leading the way and the rest of the group in the RV behind us. We drove along 23 north, as planned, and it was proving a rather quiet journey so far.

When Rick opens the glove compartment, I see him pull out a collection of license plates and Aaron does too as he leans forward slightly at Rick holding them in question.

“Um, I’m trying to collect all 50 states. Put them all on a wall in my house.” Aaron explains. 

“You have your own house?” I question, a little surprised. 

Aaron nods with a smile at me. “See for yourself.” He urges, gesturing to his pack where the envelope was sticking out. I take it from the pack and the photos from the envelope. They were a collection of black and white photographs of their place. The houses in the pictures, seemed quite grand looking, something I could have only dreamed of before and now still I guess, and they looked to have sturdy walls as well as space for growing if they hadn’t started already. It really did look like a sanctuary. I looked back up over at Aaron with a slight smile of more stun than anything as he smiled happily back. But as I continued to look over the photos, I noticed there were no people in any of them, which was odd considering he had said they were a ‘community’.

“Why don’t you have any pictures of your people?” I ask.

“Oh, I took a picture of the whole group, but I didn’t get the exposure right. When I tried to develop it later, it just--,” Aaron started to explain but I cut him off.

“Did you ask him the questions?” I question Rick in the front, slightly unnerved for the moment.

“No.” Rick replies.

I look back to Aaron. “How many walkers have you killed?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, what?” He questions, a puzzled look on his face.

“How many?” I repeat.

“I don’t know. A lot.” Aaron answers.

“How many people?” I ask.

“Two.” He replies.

“Why?”

“Because they tried to kill me.” Aaron explains as I hear Rick fumble around his seat.

Rick holds up some kind of radio device and seeing it I clock it’s a listening device and so do the others. “You were listening to us?” Glenn questions.

“I already said I was watching you. Yes, I was listening.” Aaron admits coolly.

“It means his people could have one too. They could’ve heard our plan. This isn’t safe.” Rick blurts panickily. 

“Shit!” Glenn suddenly exclaims, looking back to the road as we start ramming through a herd of walkers, but Glenn doesn’t stop or slow, he just continues through it and the windshield quickly turns red with blood and gore.

“Glenn!” Rick yells, wondering why he hadn’t slowed or stopped.

“They were right behind us. They would have hit us. Now they can get out.” Glenn calls out as we smash through the herd, all the windows and car now covered in blood.

When we finally get through the herd, Glenn stops the car with an abrupt braking swing that brings us back around facing the way we came and none of us can see out the car. All of us except Aaron get out the car and look out ahead but all we can see is the walkers approaching in the distance. 

“I don’t see ‘em.” Rick points out as Glenn climbs up onto the bonnet to the top of the car, looking out also.

“No, they’re gone. They got away.” Glenn announces.

“Alright, we’ll circle back and find them. Let’s go.” Rick orders as the two of us get back in the car while Glenn wipes at the blood covering the windshield.

“They’re okay?” Aaron concerningly asks.

“Yeah.” I unconvincingly reply as I look to Rick checking over the map.

“Alright, we can take a left a couple of miles up 23. Jefferson Avenue.” Rick instructs as Glenn gets back behind the wheel. “Jefferson Avenue.” Glenn repeats to himself as he closes his door.

“We got to get out of here.” Aaron panickily points out just as the engine sputters, failing to start. “Come on. Come on.” Glenn mutters while the car continues to sputter and as the walkers get closer to us ahead.

“We got to get out of here.” Aaron repeats, his worry visibly rising.

“Let me see what I can see.” I announce before opening the door.

“They’re coming right for us.” Aaron exclaims as I leave the car.

Coming around the front, the engine is rinsed with blood and gore, as well as a few stuck limbs. As Glenn keeps trying to start the car, I pull out as much gore and stuck parts as I can from the engine when suddenly there is a hiss from above in the distance. Glenn cuts the ignition off as I turn and look up to the sound, seeing a flare fly into high into the air, illuminating a water tower as it soared up in the distance. Aaron had a flare gun, that Rick took, so that one could be Aaron’s other guy. I rush back around to my open door, hearing Aaron yell for him to be let out.

“Did you see that?” I question coming around the door, just as it suddenly smashes into my side, hitting my lingering bruising and making me hunch over with a pained groan. Aaron runs past me, fleeing from the car and I quickly compose myself and start to run after him as he heads into the woods.

“Y/N, leave him! We need to find our people.” Rick orders from the car.

I turn around as I get to the treeline, seeing them both stood out the car. “They saw that flare. They’ll think we shot it. This is how we find them.” I yell and turn back, heading after Aaron in the woods.

Rick and Glenn quickly catch up to me in the woods as we run through after Aaron, but before we can even find him, we end up suddenly surrounded by walkers. Both Rick and Glenn start shooting and I slice through any walkers that get too close.

“Where’s Glenn?” Rick shouts, making me look around quickly, now not seeing him.

“I don’t know.” I call out, swinging at walkers, but I can hear shots in the near distance.

Rick and I have to keep fighting the walkers, cutting them down around us until they were dead on the ground. For a brief moment, we get to stop at killing them all, but only just as more approach from up ahead out of the darkness of the woods.

“Glenn!” Rick shouts. “He’s gotta be somewhere around here.” Rick states.

“Glenn!” I shout just before Rick starts shooting at the walkers again.

He runs out of bullets and suddenly pulls the flare gun out, shooting it in the eye of the closest walker. It falls to the ground, the flare killing it as it lights and crackles in its head while the two of us stand together, ready to fight this next wave of walkers. Rick grips his machete as I hold my katana and I slice down on the first walker as Rick does the same, sending his walker down but not dead. He crouches down to stab its head just as gunfire suddenly erupts from right behind us, killing the oncoming walkers. Turning around Glenn stood with and armed Aaron, his hands unbound and holding his weapon, Glenn had obviously handed back to him. 

Aaron held his hands up once again as he held the gun. “If you really want to tie me up again, that’s fine, but hurry up.” he announces as he puts his gun on the ground.

Rick picks his gun up from the ground. “There’s no time. We’re going that way.” Rick declares, pointing up ahead in the direction the walkers had approached from, where the flare had come from. 

All of us rush through the woods, armed and alert for any more walkers, until we eventually come back into a road. A nearby sign showed it was route 16, the way Aaron had originally told us to go and I clocked the water tower in the distance where the flare had been shot by.

“Where are they?” Rick questions, seeing no one.

“I don’t know.” Aaron answers.

“If this is a trap to get us back where you want us, your people are gonna die tonight.” Rick sternly states.

“The flare was towards the water tower, Rick. Let’s just head there and see what we see.” I point out.

Rick gives me a firm single nod before turning and beginning to march in its direction up the road, with the three of us following. When we come close to it, we come to a small collection of rundown farming buildings. Looking around, we scanned for any sign of the group, looking down alleys between the buildings as well as around them. Even though the night made it slightly difficult to spot anything, we finally clocked the RV parked down an alley and headed into it. I whistled a familiar sound, one I knew Daryl would recognise and was relieved to hear it back as a figure appeared in the alley, waving us over. We started into a jog as Daryl disappeared for a moment, knocking on something before, probably a door, before emerging back out to greet us. The others suddenly burst out the building and Maggie and Carl ran for Rick and Glenn as Daryl and I came for each other. I wrapped my arms around Daryl as he did the same, kissing the top of my head. 

“You good? he mumbles to me.

“Yeah. Are you?” I ask.

“Yeah, we’re all fine.” Daryl assures as Rick comes up to us, quickly shaking Daryl’s hand. 

“Eric? Eric?” Aaron chimes, looking around at everyone, moving towards the door.

“In here.” A voice calls from inside and Aaron rushes in without hesitation. “Eric!” he exclaims at hearing the voice as he goes inside. 

The rest of the group, greet us but Rick moves to follow after Aaron inside the building after seeing him rush in.

“Who’s Eric? He the one guy?” I question as Maggie greets me.

“Yeah. He’s with Aaron. He’s broke his ankle. I put a splint on him. He should be fine.” Maggie explains.

“So this means, everything he’s said has been true.” I point out with a smile at her, and she grins back.

“He told us where the camp is.” Maggie grins, keeping my smile up before she brings me in for a hug. 

All of us head inside, into some rundown, looted supply room they’d all come out of and stood around chatting while we waited for Rick to leave the room he was in with Aaron and Eric.

“Excuse me. Everyone.” Aaron calls after a moment, coming into the room to get our attention. We all stop talking and look his way, waiting to hear what he had to say as Rick emerges from where he came, now listening too.

“Thank you. You saved Eric. I owe you. All of you. And I will make sure that debt is paid in full when we get to our community. When we get to Alexandria.” Aaron announces, and I feel a slight nudge at my side and I turn to see Maggie smiling at me again. I lightly nudge her back as Aaron continues. “Now, I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather not do anymore driving tonight.” Aaron gently jokes, earning a slight amused scoff from some of us. “Maybe we can hit the road tomorrow morning.” Aaron suggests.

“That sounds fine.” Rick states from behind, making Aaron turn to face him. “But if we’re staying here for the night, you’re sleeping over there.” Rick declares, pointing over at the other end of the room.

“You really think we gotta do that?” Maggie questions.

“It’s the safe play. We don’t know you.” Rick retorts.

“The only way you’re gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me.” Aaron argues, leaving Rick quiet for a moment and doesn’t move out the way to the room with Eric. Aaron steps forward to brush past him but Rick stands his ground. 

“Hey.” I calmly call as I step over, coming to Aaron’s side and easing him back.

I turn to Rick, standing in front of him. “Rick, they told us where the camp is. And he really was only travelling with one other person. They’re both unarmed. One of them’s got a broken ankle. I want us to be safe, too. And we’re there.” I quietly explain as Glenn steps over to my side, hearing me and seeing Rick’s slight hesitance.

“Rick. We are safe. Y/N’s right.” Glenn starts, joining in my effort to sway him. “We-- I can’t give up everything else. I know what I said, but, it does matter.” Glenn finishes, referring back to the conversation they had back at Noah’s home, and I was glad to hear Glenn come back. We were already coming back from the dark hole we’d fell into, knowing we had a place to go. We finally had a sanctuary, Rick just needed to accept it. He stood looking at the both of us for a moment, contemplating our words. 

“Alright.” Rick finally agrees. 

The following morning, we got an abandoned car working outside. It was old and seemingly on its last leg, but it fortunately started; we needed a car after losing the other to the herd. I sat in the car again, as Rick drove with Daryl in the front while I sat with Carl and Judith in the back. The RV drove in front this time, with Aaron keeping an injured Eric company with the rest inside, following the directions towards Alexandria as Aaron had called it. Hopefully, our new home.

We were nearly there when the RV, typically, broke down. It brought back memories of when we used to travel in one of these and it continually broke down on us, accompanied by Dale’s moaning. If only he and others were here now. The group stood and sat around the road, waiting for Abraham and Glenn as they fixed it while Daryl stood on top on watch. Rick and I sat against the bonnet of the car, watching on as we waited.

“The fight’s over. You’ve gotta let it go. I know its hard. After its kept you- warm and fed, and alive. But the fight- it turns on you. You’ve gotta let it go.” I quietly speak to Rick as he looks at me, taking in my words.

“That’s what Bob was trying to tell me back at the church. What to risk. When its safe. When to let someone in.” Rick sighs. “The rules keep changing.” He points out.

“Yeah.” I agree. “But I think that’s good. Means we adapt. Means we survive, without losing ourselves.” I point out.

Before Rick can reply, the RV engine sputters to life which causes everyone to stand and cheer as Daryl moves to come down from the top.

“Before we get going, I got to-- I got to take a moment.” Rick tells me before pushing off from the bonnet and heads into the woods. 

After a while, Rick comes back, and I don’t ask him where he went or what he did, I just let him be. Rick tells us he wants to drive the car in front, and everyone else in the RV when we approach the place, as a precaution. No one argues and moves to all get in the RV, but I do, and hang back with him, standing my ground that I was going to be with him in the car. He initially dismissed it, but he gave in eventually. I didn’t press him on why he went off, I just let him drive as I sat in the front with him. 

Having been nearly there, it doesn’t take too long until we finally arrive outside of Alexandria’s gates. We drive down a small street, abandoned and in ruin until we come to the steel walls and gate, parking the car right out front. At first, no one is there on watch or otherwise and it’s quiet, but I trusted Aaron and Eric. So, instead of watching the gates, I look over and watch Rick. Remembering what he had said at the barn, I wanted to see his reaction when he finally saw this place was it. A place he could bring his family into. Our new start. It wasn’t long until the faint noises of children playing and shouting, people chatting, noises of a life and sanctuary in the distance came into hearing over the engine. It was what Rick had wanted to hear and what I was glad to hear, but I was even happier I got to see the realisation in Rick’s face when he heard it all. He turned to look at me, seeing my small smile looking back at him. 

I pat my hand over his on the steering wheel in comfort. “You ready?” I question, squeezing his hand as the others start to fill out of the RV behind.

Rick looks back and around as they come around the car, nodding. “Yeah.” He replies softly as he turns the engine off.

We both get out the car and join the others in standing in front of the car outside the gates as Aaron helps Eric along to the front of us, right up to the gates. Rick takes Judith from Carl as we stand with the group. When Aaron bangs on them, it makes something squeal from inside a trash can to the side of us. We all look with our weapons, jolting at the sound and movement, as a possum knocks the trashcan over and tries to scurry away, but Daryl’s arrow kills it before it can. We all calm quickly at seeing it was just an animal as the gates are suddenly pulled open, revealing a young guy behind them, looking a little stunned at seeing us all here. Daryl picks the possum up as we stand waiting, while Aaron helps Eric inside around the gate.

“We brought dinner.” Daryl announces as he holds the possum by the tail in his hand. I try to hide my smile at his remark and the uneasy look still on the guys face as Aaron comes back around the gate.

“It’s okay.” He assures the guy. “Come on in, guys.” Aaron urges us and we walk in through the gates. Coming in a little cautiously, we slowly move in until the gates are closed behind us and the guy moves back around to the front of us with Aaron.

“Before we take this any further, I need you all to turn over your weapons. You stay, you hand them over.” The guy orders.

“We don’t know if we want to stay.” Rick retorts as he holds Judith and his gun in the other coming to the front of us.

“It’s fine, Nicholas.” Aaron reassures.

“If we were gonna use ‘em, we would have started already.” Rick states.

“Let them talk to Deanna first.” Aaron says to this guy, Nicholas.

“Who’s Deanna?” I ask.

“She knows everything you’d want to know about this place.” Aaron answers. “Rick, why don’t you start.” He suggests.

Rick turns and looks out the gate, and I realise why when I hear a faint snarling and turn to look too, seeing a single walker approaching the gate ahead.

“Sasha.” Rick calls, making her and the others turn around. She aims and shoots the walker in one silenced shot just before Eric stands and pushes a secondary, lined, chain link gate closed over the main one, securing it more from the looks of it.

We all turn back to Aaron and Nicholas. “It’s a good thing we’re here.” Rick announces as he starts walking off with Aaron, headed to talk with this Deanna.


	17. seventeen

“Hello. I’m Deanna Monroe.” Deanna greets, standing up from the couch as I’m shown into the room by Aaron. She was a small, slightly older woman with what looked like an almost regal and assertive poise. She was definitely the one in charge around here, that was for sure.

Rick had come out from his talk, to see us all outside the house and before I could ask him anything about her, Aaron called me over to talk next. The houses around the place were huge and like dollhouses. The pictures didn’t do them justice and I suddenly felt a little overwhelmed by the grandness of the place as we waited for Rick. So when Aaron showed me inside, it didn’t make me feel any better. I’d never been accustomed to this kind of luxury before and it felt odd, even more so considering the shape the world was in. Alexandria looked completely and angelically untouched.

After Deanna greeted herself and Aaron closed the door to the room behind me, I walked through the room. “Y/N.” I greet while I look around the room. It was grand alright.

“You mind if I film this?” Deanna asks, bringing my attention directly back to her.

“What?” I question.

“Do you mind if I film our talk?” She reiterates. It seemed an unusual request at first but then I considered perhaps it wasn’t, looking at the circumstances. 

“Go ahead.” I confirm, resuming to look back around the room. It was neat, tidy, well preserved, well stocked and perhaps a little imposing for me now we were here, and the grandeur of it all was still keeping me a little overwhelmed. 

“Why film this?” I ask, looking back to Deanna after taking in the room as I hear a quiet beep of a camera. 

“We’re about transparency here.” Deanna answers. “Please. I know you must be tired. Pregnant or not.” She says, gesturing to the armchair in front of me as she takes her seat back on the couch.

“So you’re perceptive.” I poke as I move around the armchair.

“I’ve had two sons. I know how it feels.” She informs with a slight smile. “But I can’t imagine how it must feel out there.” She adds, her expression turning serious again. 

“Roundabout the same.” I reply.

“So you’ve had a child before? What made you want another now?” Deanna questions. She was good at getting answers without asking the direct questions I realised. She knew what she was doing, but as soon as she mentioned having a child before, I hung my head slightly. I didn’t want to talk about kids, I didn’t want to answer that, and I said nothing. 

“To have one now seems mighty brave to me.” she adds softly. 

“Brave’s got nothing to do with it.” I reply, not looking up at Deanna. I wanted to avoid those questions as much as possible.

“You lost a child.” Deanna suddenly states, breaking a silent pause, making me stare up at her. Was I making it that obvious? Either that, or she was wildly perceptive. 

There’s a silence as we both stare at each other before Deanna speaks again. “How long have you been out there?” She asks, probably reading my attempt at hiding my pained expression.

“Since the beginning.” I state.

“Rick said you didn’t know each other before. How did you all find each other?” she questions.

“Does it matter? We’re all here now, together.” I retort.

“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. I’m simply curious.” She points out.

“I found Rick. We found his family. And a group. We’ve lost from it and added to it along the way. But we’re family. Despite not knowing each other before.” I explain briefly. 

“I can see that.” Deanna responds, eyeing my bump. 

“You look like you’re about to pop. You’ll probably be glad to hear that we have a doctor here. He’s a surgeon, but he’s learned to accommodate to many other fields since being here. Hopefully, that provides you with some relief.” She comforts, which it did. It was wildly better than nothing. Hershel was a veterinarian before and I trusted his experience with my life, albeit the history and familiarity made it easier, but you work with what you have. 

“Thank you.” I reply, getting an assuring nod from her.

“May I ask? Is the father still alive?” Deanna asks. 

“Yes.” I simply answer.

“Is it Rick’s?” she questions.

I scoff a little at the notion. “Why would you think that?” I ask.

“Aaron tells me you’re his right hand.” Deanna announces.

“And that means he’s the father?” I question.

“It was a passing thought. One I now see is wrong.” She defends. “So you’re just his right hand? Is that right?” She asks.

“He listens to us all. I guess he’s just been listening to me since the start is all. So yeah- perhaps-- if you wanted to put a name to it.” I reply. 

“Sounds like you’re a leader, alongside Rick.” She theorises. 

“I’m not a leader. Rick is.” I correct.

“You know, Rick told me about what you’ve been through to get here. Said you saved them all at a place named Terminus, I think he called it. All by yourself. You wanna tell me you’re not a leader.” Deanna announces. I was surprised Rick had talked about our journey, even if it was briefly and it had clearly been brief seeing as she thought my baby was his. Lori obviously hadn’t been mentioned. 

“Doesn’t make me a leader. We’ve all saved each other. I’ve needed saving.” I retort.

“It makes you a fighter. A survivor.” She states.

“We’re all fighters. It’s how we’re here.” I declare.

“Yes. Yes it is.” Deanna agrees, with a smile.

“So, when the father walks in here later, will I know it’s him?” she asks, holding her smile, bringing the conversation back to the baby.

I scoff a little louder this time, a slight smile arching in the corner of my mouth at the thought of Daryl talking to Deanna, or more likely him not talking much with her. “I don’t know. I guess that’s for you to find out.” I answer.

“You found each other through all this then?” she questions.

“Yeah.” I simply respond.

“And you’ve been together since the start?” she asks.

“Not the very start. But close enough.” I clarify.

“I would imagine that finding someone in all this makes for a strong bond.” Deanna theorises.

“We’d die for each other. But then, we all would.” I point out.

“I don’t doubt it.” she agrees.

“So, what did you do before?” Deanna questions, changing the topic, but not to something I exactly wanted to talk about. I wanted to avoid my past as much as possible. I didn’t want to talk about it unnecessarily and to people I didn’t really know yet. Besides, I worked in a bar. It wasn’t exactly important. The only meaningful thing in my past to me was Sophia, and she didn’t need to be mentioned. 

“Not much.” I vaguely reply.

“I was a congressperson. Ohio, 15th district.” Deanna announces proudly. That explained the assertive and grand poise she held. “What did you do before?” she asks again, her expression pushing for an answer.

“I don’t think it matters anymore.” I state.

“Oh, I know it does.” She retorts.

I pause for a brief moment. I didn’t want to answer the question. What I did had no significance to my life, past or present, so with a sigh I changed the subject. “What is this place?” I question.

“This is the start of sustainability. That’s what the brochures we found say. This was a planned community with its own solar grid, cisterns, eco-based sewage filtration. Starting in the low 800,000s-- if there is such a thing.” Deanna chuckles at the explanation. “And they sold them all.” She adds. So this place really was a thing of dreams.

“How did you end up here?” I ponder aloud.

“Well, my family and I were trying to get back to Ohio so I could help my district manage the crisis. And, urh, the army stopped us on a back road and directed us here. They were supposed to come later. They didn’t. But there were supplies here and we made the best of it.” she explains.

“And you put up the wall?” I ask.

“Well, there was this huge shopping mall being built nearby. And my husband Reg is a professor of architecture. And who he was mattered quite a bit.” Deanna states, poking a little as she referred back to what I had said when she asked what I did before. “He got the first plates up with our sons. And after a few weeks, more people arrived, and we had help. We had a community.” Deanna continues.

“You’ve been behind these walls this entire time?” I question a little shocked. 

“We need people who have lived out there. Your group is the first we’ve even considered taking in for a long time.” Deanna points out.

After hearing what Deanna had said, I realised that the people here were essentially clueless of the outside world and more than likely in over their heads, but maybe that is exactly why she wanted us here. She just had to be wary.

“You’ve gotta be careful about who you bring in here. Cautious. You’ve gotta be able to read people at first glance at those gates, before you even think about bringing them in for a filmed conversation.” I declare. 

“Why?” she asks.

“Because it’s all about survival now. At any cost. People out there are always looking for an angle. Looking to play on your weakness. They measure you by what they can take from you. By how they can use you to live. So, bringing people into a place like this now, like how you are--,” I explain but Deanna cuts me off.

“Are you telling me not to bring your people in?” she questions.

“No.” I reply.

“Then are you already looking after this place?” Deanna follows up, with a slight smirk. She was good, and she knew it.

“Aaron likes you. Says I can trust you. All of you.” Deanna announces. 

“Aaron doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know any of us.” I start. “I’ve killed people. I don’t even know how many by now. But I know why they’re all dead. They’re dead so our family, all those people out there, can be alive. So I could be alive for them, with them. Sometimes it’s gotta be that way. But sometimes it turns on you. That’s why you have to be careful about who you bring in here. That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be here, because I do. It’s just a warning.” I clarify.

“Well, it sounds like I’d want to be part of your family.” Deanna points out. I sigh a little, hearing her words. If she knew what we’d been through and lost, she might have said something different. 

“Y/N, northern Virginia was effectively evacuated. Millions of people, gone. For a long time, there’s hardly been anyone here, living or dead, but still-- we have lost people. And, erh-- I’ve done things.” Deanna declares, hanging her head slightly. 

There it was. We’ve all done something. “What have you done?” I ask.

“I exiled three men who didn’t work out. And we both know that’s as good as killing them.” Deanna answers. I didn’t know why I expected it to be more than that, they didn’t have a clue what the world out there was like, of course that was the worst thing she thought she’d done. 

“So what do you want from us?” I question, wanting to know her exact motives for keeping us here, although I guessed it was for protection.

“These families should be able to raise their children in a safe environment. Your soon to be newborn, Rick’s kids- should have a place to grow up. Not to mention, a safe place for you to deliver, which by the looks of you I don’t need to guess is very soon.” Deanna starts. “What do I want? The same thing I told Rick. I want you to help us survive. I know you can help us do that.” She states.

“How do you know that?” I ask.

“I am exceptionally good at reading people. If I didn’t win re-election, I was gonna be a professional poker player.” Deanna explains. 

I scoff in amusement. “I’m not kidding.” She assures.

“Y/N-- you’ve asked me what I want.” Deanna begins. “What do you want?” she questions.

“If this is how you’re saying it is-- then this is what we wanted. What I want. We need this. We need to make this work.” I answer.

“Why?” Deanna asks.

“’Cause we were almost out there too long.” I state. “We’re ready for this.” I add.

“All of you?” Deanna questions.

I hesitate with a sigh, hoping my answer was right. “All of us.” I affirm.

After talking with Deanna, I found that my trust in her started to build but there was still some way to go. She seemed like a headstrong woman with the community as her priority. It didn’t look like there was another agenda here. They just needed a reality check, most likely. People who didn’t understand what was out there had a history of it being their downfall. Albeit, in my experience it was the girls, but it was something that still applied to these people. I hadn’t met anyone, but if they’d all been here since the start, I could bet they were weak and clueless to the real reality of it out there. But then, that’s why Deanna wanted us here. I liked her, but trust was very much still there to build as yet.

“You asked me what I did before.” I point out and Deanna nods.

“I was a mother.” I announce. “I wasn’t much else.” I add.

“Yeah, I knew it was something like that.” Deanna affirms.


	18. eighteen

Once Deanna had talked to every one of us, she took us all to an armoury they had, so we could hand over our guns. I was glad they let us keep our knifes and my katana. Not that I thought we’d need them in here, but I think it comforted everyone to have something, safe or not, even me. We still didn’t completely know the people here, and this was all new territory. 

“They’re still your guns. You can check them out whenever you go beyond the wall. But inside here, we store them for safety.” Deanna announces as we all hand over our guns and rifles, placing them on a trolley bin for a woman to take away. Deanna introduced her as Olivia, and she was the woman who kept track of the armoury and the intake of their supplies. So, at least they were well organised. 

“Should have brought another bin.” Olivia jokes as she starts pulling the trolley bin away once the last of us put their guns on it.

“Aaron will take you all to your home now. I hope you find it to your liking.” Deanna declares, looking to Aaron who nods and gestures for us to follow him.

As we walked through the streets, I could see some people were at their windows and sitting on their porches, watching as we came through the place. It was like we were some sort of spectacle to these people, but I supposed we were in a way to them. Aaron brought us to the houses at the end of the street we were on and came to Rick’s side with Daryl and I on the other, all of us looking at the houses we were now all stood before.

“The two here. These are yours.” Aaron informs, pointing at the two huge houses next to each other we were looking at.

“Both of ‘em?” Rick asks.

“At your disposal.” Aaron gently smiles as Rick glances to both me and Daryl.

“Listen, I know you’re still feeling us out, but I’m glad you came.” Aaron proclaims, to which none of us respond, so I give him a gracious nod.

“Anyway, Deanna’s asked everyone to give you your space so they aren’t all coming at you at once.” Aaron announces. “Take you time. Explore. You need anything, you call me.” He adds but scoffs amusingly at himself. “I don’t-- we don’t have phones. I meant-- I’m two houses down from Deanna.” He continues with a warming smile. 

“Thank you.” I softly thank and Aaron nods before walking off, leaving us to explore the two houses that were now ours. This is what I had wanted for us all, but now these grand houses were right in front of us, it had become even more daunting. It hadn’t really been what I expected, even after seeing the photos. I was grateful, that was for sure, it was just strange and different from anything I’d had before the world changed.

“I want us to check it out first. Before we all rush in.” Rick quietly informs Daryl and I.

“Alright.” Daryl says before Rick looks directly to me, to which I nod in agreement.

“What, no protests?” he lightly jokes.

I smile smally at him. “I argued to get us here. Now we’re here. You do what you gotta do.” I reply warming. 

The three of us head inside the first house, which towered from the ground with three floors, the same as the second. Coming in the front door, Rick opened it with Daryl and I behind him. Stepping inside there were empty photo frames stacked in the hall. They must have had family photos in before, which the people here had obviously taken out, understandably so. Removing the sight of previous owners was something they clearly did to make the place seem theirs. And this ours. But it still didn’t feel like ours. Not yet at least, if it ever would. We’d just have to try.

Other than the photo frames, starting to look through the house, it looked untouched. It was still tidily furnished, and the first rooms were huge. The living room and kitchen were open and connected, which I liked. You could see the place more in one look, which eased me; the less walls and doors the better I thought. As Rick and Daryl walked and looked around the living room, I moved into the kitchen. I slid my hand against the marble worktop as I stepped along an island in the middle, until I came to a sink. I stared at it for a second, more specifically the tap, as I saw the guys come towards the kitchen in the corner of my eye. I pulled one of the taps handles and instantly a firm flow of water came out. Fresh running water. I scoffed amusingly at it, turning the tap off as I looked up at Daryl and Rick. I felt spoiled just at the sight of it. 

The rest of the house was the same. Every room was large and, by my guess, expensively furnished. There were many bedrooms in the house. If we had found a house like this out there, we would have all happily fit in it. But here we had two. Which meant most of us most likely had a bedroom each, and with a few of us probably sharing, we definitely would. The house had bedrooms all over the place. There were four upstairs, with two more on the floor above. Then there was one on the ground floor, as well as a basement room below. If the house next door were the same, we’d be more than comfortable. Judith would probably even get her own room. 

After scouting through the house, Rick was finally happy to let everyone else look around it and it hadn’t taken long for them to realise the running water, and they were quickly taking their turn in the house’s shower, all staying in the first one. No one had said they couldn’t use the one in the next house, and they didn’t. We stayed in the same house, wondering around it, waiting for shower one after the other. I supposed they wanted to all stay together and I couldn’t blame them, I felt the same to be completely honest. As everyone was inside, I came out on the porch where Daryl was sat, gutting his possum as Rick stood around holding Judith. I moved across the porch, looking out at the surrounding houses, wondering how many people actually lived here when I heard someone else come out on to the porch. Turning to see who, I saw it was Carl and he was looking out at our second house next door, looking deep in thought. 

“You can look. Just be quick.” Rick allows, seeing his gaze. 

“Okay.” Carl replies before leaving the porch. I watch him walk down and around to our second home when I feel a touch to my arm. I look back to see Rick, and he nods towards the other house. Knowing he wanted me to go in with Carl, I nod back and follow after him.

Inside, the house was pretty much the same as the other. The only noticeable difference being, it just had a couple less bedrooms, not having any downstairs or a basement at all, but it had an attic like storage room instead along with the two third floor bedrooms. Other than that, everything was the same here. It was hard to believe they were just suddenly both ours. 

“You ever been in a house so big?” Carl asks with a smile as we join coming back downstairs.

“Not even close.” I answer. 

“They’re like mansions.” He states as we head for the door.

“Yeah, that’s for sure. And they’re just giving them away.” I point out.

“What else would they do? Make us fight for them?” Carl questions a little jokingly, still holding his smile, as I open the door.

“Touché, smart ass.” I smile back at him, nudging his side as we both come out the front door, getting a chuckle out of him.

When we come down the porch, coming back over to the first house, we meet Daryl and Rick coming down between the houses seemingly coming from looking around the back of them.

“Anything interesting back there?” I ask as they come to stand with us.

“Just more grass and the wall.” Daryl answers. 

“Carl, I think the shower’s free. Why don’t you head on inside?” Rick urges.

Carl looks up to me at his side. “Would you like to go first?” he asks.

I smile at his polite offer. “No, you head on up. I’ll take mine after.” I reply.

The three of us wait until Carl gets onto the porch and goes inside before any of us talk.

“So?” Rick simply questions.

“It’s pretty much the same.” I answer. “And, they’re right next to each other but--,” I continue. “They took our weapons and now they’re splittin’ us up.” Daryl continues. 

“Yeah.” Rick agrees.

“They let us keep our knives, though. If they really saw us as a threat, or wanted to try something, surely they’d take those too?” I point out, thinking from both sides, thinking about every angle. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Rick responds. “We’ll be staying in the same house tonight, though.” Rick announces, and Daryl and I both nod in agreement.

When Carl had come out the shower, everyone had gone exploring together around Alexandria. I wasn’t particularly inclined to join them. I’d had my fill for the day, and I had plenty more to do so. While everyone went off to look around, Rick got in the shower and I came back out onto the porch, to see Daryl sat on the floor in the corner, smoking alone. I smiled smally at him in my approach over, and joined him, bringing myself down to sit next to him. 

“Why ain’t ya lookin’ around with the rest of ‘em?” he asks, as he exhales his drag and puts the cigarette out on the porch floor.

“Looking around the two houses is enough exploring for me today.” I answer. “Why aren’t you?” I ask in turn.

“Mm-mm.” he mumbles with a shrug.

In the pause, I tenderly take his hand and entwine his fingers with me, his grip gently squeezing mine as I tilt my head against his shoulder. 

“Electricity, showers, --a home.” I start. “I never thought I’d see those again.” I state.

“You already see this place as a home?” Daryl questions.

“I’m not sure. But-- probably. Eventually.” I reply. 

“You said we get to start over. Perhaps this is finally it.” I point out.

Before Daryl can reply and I can say anything else, an unfamiliar voice comes from the bottom of the porch. “Hey.” A woman calls, before coming up the steps into view. I could feel Daryl tense and his grip on my hand tightened as we heard the unknown woman speak as she came up onto the porch. She looked about Michonne’s and Rick’s age, sporting a small, blonde ponytail and a big smile as she carried a huge box with her. 

“I’m Jessie.” She greets. “I work in the pantry. Deanna asked me to bring this all over for you all. It’s got toiletries, fresh sheets and clothes. The works.” Jessie announces with her beaming smile and Daryl’s grip lessens, but he stays quiet.

“Thanks. You can just, erh, sit it down there.” I reply, as Daryl just stared expressionless. 

“I can take it in if you want.” She offers. 

“Um, sure, go ahead.” I affirm and she smiles brightly before heading inside. It was a simple exchange, but it felt so odd and domestic. Something we’d all have to get used to no doubt. 

“That felt strange.” I say.

“All this feels strange.” Daryl replies.

“You think it will stop feeling that way?” I ask. 

“Don’t know.” he answers.

“Being in a house like this, even before all this-- it would have felt strange. I don’t think I’m used to this kind of lifestyle, even more so now.” I point out. 

“Me neither.” Daryl agrees. 

“Deanna said they’ve been behind these walls since the start. Makes me think the people here- they’re gonna be weak.” I proclaim.

“Clueless and spoiled probably.” Daryl states.

“This place wasn’t what I expected.” I announce.

“What exactly were ya expectin’?” Daryl softly probes. 

I shrug a little. “I don’t know.” I answer. “This, I guess. But not the grandeur extent of it. It’s all a little overwhelming.” I continue. “Like I said-- electricity, running water, a seemingly normal community. I never thought I’d see those again.” I add.

“I see it too, I get it. ‘Cause I didn’t think I would either.” Daryl backs.

“I know I pushed us to come here, and I put my faith wholeheartedly in Aaron and this place. And I’m glad I did. I want this place to work and it probably will. I do have a good feeling about it. But, also being here-- seeing the place; how the people are more than likely going to be. We can’t let our guard down. We shouldn’t. Not until we know the place, and the people in it. And even then we shouldn’t. We can’t become like them.” I explain.

“We won’t. We ain’t like ‘em.” Daryl assures. 

We sit there together for a moment in silence, until Daryl speaks up. “That woman’s been in there a while.” He points out suddenly, and I had completely forgot she was in there.

“I guess Rick’s out the shower. She must be trying to squeeze conversation out of him.” I lightly joke, trying to bring the tone up from before. 

Shortly after, while the two of us still sat on the porch talking, Jessie eventually came out, stopping on the porch as she looked over at us both.

“Hey, um- Daryl and Y/N, right?” She says, and I nod in confirmation hearing our names. “Rick told me your names.” She explains smiling, so I smile back at her not wanting to come off as cold and rude, not that I was trying to be.

“Well, I just wanted to say that I might have a few old maternity clothes you could borrow, Y/N. I mean if you wanted. But, I suppose you won’t need them soon.” She announces, dismissing herself as she spoke. 

“Erh, the big shirts been working for me so far. But, thanks.” I reply. 

“Yeah-- well, I’m just on the next street if you change your mind. Stop by anytime. It was nice to meet you.” Jessie announces as she starts leaving the porch.

“You too.” I reply.

Daryl and I don’t speak until she’s left past the house. “Were you gonna speak at any point? Not even a ‘mmhmm’?” I playfully ask.

“Why, you had it.” he retorts. 

“I think, at some point, you’re gonna have to talk to these people. I’m not gonna be around to save you every time, Dixon.” I joke with a slight smile. 

“Save me, huh? That’s what ya think you did?” he questions with a smirk. 

“Mmhmm.” I mumble with a smile, imitating him.

“Shut up, woman.” Daryl mumbles through his smirk as he leans over and kisses me.

It felt nice to share this moment on the porch with Daryl. Joking a little, smiling together, stealing kisses. It had felt so long since we had even done that. So, when we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, I was less than pleased. However, when we both looked over to see Rick standing out of the front door of the house, it was worth it. I immediately broke out into a smile at his appearance. His face, what once had held a rather large a bushy beard, was now freshly shaven to the skin of his face. It also looked as if he had cut his hair back a bit, taming the curls of his hair back down. He couldn’t have done that himself. Perhaps Jessie had done it; she was in there for a while. 

“Well, well, Rick Grimes--,” I start with a grin and he rolls his eyes. 

“Am I back in Atlanta?” I tease, getting an amused snort out of Daryl.

“Stop.” Rick retorts, with a slightly embarrassed grin.

“Welcome back, Officer Friendly.” I joke, chuckling a little.

He chuckles with me. “Alright, alright.” He says, trying to ease me off the mocking.

Rick takes a couple steps across the porch, towards the steps as he looks out around. “They said explore. Let’s explore.” he urges, looking back to us. 

“Nah. We’re good.” Daryl replies. 

Rick nods, looking back out at the street. “Alright.” he says.

For a moment there’s a pause as Rick stands at the edge of the porch but doesn’t leave. “Lori and me, we used to drive through neighbourhoods like this. Thinking, ‘one day’--,” Rick announces. 

“Well, here we are.” Daryl responds. 

“I’ll-- we’ll be back soon.” Rick states as he leaves off the porch and down the street.

When everyone had gone looking around the place, it was nearing the end of the day, so when they all came back it was close to dark. As Rick had said, we all stayed together in the first house. Using everything Jessie had brought over, as well as any pillows and blankets and bedding from around the house, we all made ourselves comfortable in the living room together. When we came back together, we all talked about the place. Alexandria. The general feeling was that it seemed legit. The people were nice. We just had to feel it out for a while. It had also turned out that Deanna had given the majority of us jobs. Roles here. All except Rick, Daryl, Sasha and me. I wondered what exactly she had planned. 

Michonne came back into the living room from being in the bathroom, wearing a grin as she perched herself next to Daryl and I with Rick at her side.

“How long was I in there?” Michonne happily questions.

“About 20 minutes I would say.” I answer with a slight smirk.

“I could not stop brushing.” She gleams, making me smile just as knocking sounds at the front door. 

Most of the group move slightly in their spots, as if readying themselves for whoever was behind the door. Rick gets up and strides over to the front door, right beside the living room. When he opens it, Deanna instantly moves to step inside as she starts to speak.

“Rick, I--,” she starts, stopping herself in front of him in the doorway as she stares. 

“Wow.” She says at Rick’s fresh and beardless appearance, getting a groan and eye roll out of him in response. “I didn’t know what was under there.” Deanna adds with a hint of a chuckle. 

“Listen, I don’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling.” Deanna announces before she steps inside and looks around at us all in the living room. “Oh, my.” She mutters.

“Staying together. Smart” She smiles, looking back to Rick.

“No one said we couldn’t.” Rick declares. 

“You said you’re a family. That’s what you said.” Deanna states, looking at Rick before glancing at me.

“Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don’t you think?” She points out, looking across us all back to Rick.

“Everybody said you gave them jobs.” Rick says.

“Mmhmm. Yeah. Part of this place.” Deanna replies. “Looks like the communists won after all.” She adds with a laugh.

“Well, not everybody. You didn’t give me one.” Rick clarifies. 

“I have. I just haven’t told you yet.” Deanna explains, before she looks over at me. “Same with Y/N.” She continues. “I’m closing in on something for Sasha. And I’m just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out, but I will.” She finishes, earning a little huff from him under his breath.

Deanna faces Rick as she goes to turn to leave. “You look good.” She states, with a smile still, before walking out the front door. 

As Rick closed the door, I shuffled around to try and make myself comfortable next to Daryl.

“Now we’re here-- ya think you’ll actually sleep through the night?” Daryl tenderly pokes. 

“Don’t count on it.” I retort, laying myself close to his side, taking in his familiar scent of smoke and leather. Something that had grown to be a big comfort to me. 

As always, I had watched a listened as everyone else drifted off into a sleep, even Daryl laid at my side. It would probably be a few hours until my eyes finally give in and grant me a couple hours of sleep. I’d be glad to see the day when I sleep a full night’s rest. 

While I laid there, I heard movement close by and saw Rick quietly get up from beside Michonne and walk through into the kitchen. Already being awake, and my mind curious as a result, I carefully rose up to head into the kitchen to see him. He was stood at the counter, looking out the window to the front of the house, seemingly deep in thought. 

“Hey.” I whisper, getting his attention as I came to his side.

“Can’t sleep?” Rick whispers back, and I shake my head. “Me neither.” He affirms, looking back out the window, creating a momentary pause.

“I get why we’re playing it safe.” I quietly start, getting his attention back. “We should. But-- I do have a good feeling about this place.” I continue. 

“Well, I hope you’re right.” Rick replies.

“Yeah, me too.” I answer. 

Another silent moment passes.

“So, Deanna hasn’t given a few of us our jobs. What do you think they are?” I ponder.

“I don’t know. You want one?” Rick questions.

“I guess. It’s a purpose.” I respond. “Do you?” I ask.

“That’s signing the papers. That’s saying yes, this is how it is.” Rick points out.

“You afraid to do that?” I question.

“Aren’t you?” He asks.

“No. I don’t think so.” I answer. 

“So then why are we both awake?” Rick questions.

I sigh lightly. “’Cause we feel responsible.” I start. “You’re our leader, and I pushed us here. If something goes wrong, that’s on me, but they’re gonna look to you as always.” I point out. “Maybe that’s why. –‘Cause you’re a leader and I’m stubborn.” I lightly joke, gently nudging his arm. 

“No. You’re a leader too. You just don’t know it.” Rick states.

“You know, Deanna said essentially the same thing.” I announce.

“You are.” Rick affirms.

I shake my head a little dismissively. “Well- perhaps that’s why I’m awake then-- that, or- also the fact that a small person is growing inside me, and I haven’t been able to sleep well for weeks anyway.” I mock light heartedly at myself, getting a quiet chuckle from Rick as I smiled back. 

“Alright. Try and sleep. I’m gonna take a walk.” Rick whispers, patting my shoulder comfortingly as he brushes past.

-

Rick walked down the streets, hoping the air and walk would help take his mind of things and ease himself to sleep when he got back to the house. As he strolled down the next street, what he remembered as Jessie’s house being on, he casually rested his hands in his jacket pockets, taking in the crisp night air. 

“You’re Rick.” A man’s voice suddenly calls from a porch Rick was just passing. He came to a stop, and realised it was Jessie’s house this man’s voice had emanated from.

“Yeah.” Rick affirms, as he looks on at a very dimly lit figure, sat on the porch smoking by the window, where a lamp on inside was illuminating the man vaguely. 

“My wife cut your hair.” The man states. 

“Yeah.” Rick simply answers again.

The man takes a drag of his cigarette, then exhales before he speaks again. “Welcome to Alexandra.” He says, a little coldly and Rick doesn’t respond, he just instead continues walking on ahead.


	19. nineteen

“Glenn, Tara, Noah? Nice to meet you. I’m Aiden. You met Nicholas pulling gate duty.” Aiden greets as the three approach him and Nicholas coming out the armoury. Deanna had allocated them to join on the runs as their jobs which Aiden and Nicholas led beyond the walls, so this morning they’d gone to meet them. 

“You’re Deanna’s son?” Glenn questions.

“That’s right. I hear you got experience making supply runs.” Aiden announces.

“I saw your pantry. You guys seem to do pretty well.” Glenn points out.

“Yeah, well, had some training before this. ROTC. Was nearing lieutenant when this shit blew in.” Aiden admits, a little smugly.

“My dad did ROTC.” Noah chimes.

“He didn’t make it?” Aiden asks.

“Nah.” Noah replies.

“I’m sorry.” Aiden says. “I’m sorry a lot these days.” He adds.

“Come on, I’ll show you the ropes.” Aiden announces as she starts walking past the three of them to head off.

“We’re doing a run today?” Tara questions.

“Just a dry run. Show you the terrain outside the walls, see how you do.” Aiden explains. “Weigh each other’s sack a little, you know?” He lightly jokes, with a slight smirk. 

“No, I don’t, but- cool.” Tara replies, unamused.

“What about weapons?” Glenn asks.

“Oh yeah. We pulled out some sweet-ass biscuits for today.” Aiden answers, nodding at Nicholas to hand them out the guns before turning and continuing to lead to the gates. Glenn looks over his handgun he’d just been handed before following with the others after Aiden, who was carrying a large rifle. He had an arrogance and ego about him, and Glenn wondered if that was going to become a problem, whether it was going to be a problem put there for him, the group, or just Aiden. 

-

After the day we had yesterday, my mind was wondering about a lot things. In the morning, most of the group had gone to meet people about their jobs Deanna had assigned, so I decided to finally walk around Alexandria and explore somewhat like the others had. I had hoped to avoid most people, not particularly wanting to engage in small talk that would no doubt steer to my pregnancy. I walked around alone and saw that not many people were out and around. I was more than pleased. I would meet and talk to people in my own time. After the short encounter, with Jessie it had just felt so odd and I didn’t know that I wasn’t entirely ready for it. But I would be, in time. 

As I walked up and down the streets, seeing that the houses were all grand in this place, I noticed they also had a church, a mill, a clock tower, many things that would make it appear as a real community. That’s what Deanna had said, that’s what she wanted. It made me think if she had plans to build or expand, or just generally improve the place. I had a feeling she did and the fact she’d allocated jobs to most of us somewhat showed that she did. I had seen Glenn, Tara and Noah leave with what I thought I could make out as Deanna’s son and that guy from the gate, Nicholas. She’d given them the role of being on the crew who went out on runs for supplies. Seeing them leave, made me ponder again about what exactly my job would be here. Deanna had had I was a leader, and Rick basically agreed. I wasn’t so sure. I didn’t lead the group. Rick did. Sure, I may have his ear, but that just made me more of a confidant, or adviser, not a leader. But I wondered if that would have any indication to what she’d want me doing here. Still, I had no ideas. I just hoped it would make me feel more comfortable within this place. Perhaps having a role and purpose here would make it easier to transition. If the role fit me anyway.

As I walked back to the house, I could see ahead Daryl was sat on the porch fencing, leant against the corner pillar. Probably fiddling with his crossbow no doubt. When I got closer, I saw Carol come out the house and even from a distance I could see she was dressed different. I wasn’t sure why or what she was playing at, but I knew she’d have a reason. The two of them were talking on the porch and as I got close to the porch, their conversation came into earshot. 

“Have you taken a shower yet?” Carol asks.

“Mmhmm.” Daryl mumbles as, I guessed correctly, was fiddling with his crossbow. 

“Take a shower. I’m gonna wash that vest. We need to keep up appearances, even you.” Carol instructs as she walks down the porch steps. So that was what the clothes were all about. The stay at home mom look she had going on. The cardigan really putting an emphasis on that. She was ‘keeping up appearances’ alright with that get up. It was a complete contrast to how she was now. It was slightly amusing if anything. 

“Hey, I ain’t startin’ now.” Daryl grumbles as Carol gets to the bottom of the steps, turning to see me approaching the porch.

She smiles as she sees me coming up on the pavement. “I’m gonna get Y/N to hose you down in your sleep.” She jokes as she starts walking my way.

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Daryl retorts. 

“It’s not a bad idea.” I tease with a smirk, announcing my presence to Daryl as I walk past him on the porch. He scoffs at the remark as Carol passes me, the two of sharing a smile and I start up the steps to the porch. 

“You look ridiculous.” Daryl calls out to Carol walking away, making me chuckle as I come to lean on the opposite pillar of the porch from Daryl.

“Whatcha been doin’?” Daryl asks.

“Not much. Just walking around the place. Thinking.” I reply.

“Do I wanna ask what about?” he probes. 

“Nah. Nothing interesting.” I inform with a smile creeping onto my face as I watched him fiddle with his weapon. 

Daryl looks up to see me smiling at him. “What?” Daryl says. 

“Nothing. Just admiring the view.” I answer.

“Ain’t much of a view.” He states.

“I could very much argue that.” I retort, holding my smile.

“You want somethin’?” he questions, a small smirk creeping into the corner of his mouth.

“I want a lot of things.” I tease. 

“Does one include me takin’ a shower?” Daryl probes.

I scoff in amusement as I step towards him. I grab his crossbow and put it down on the floor before rising back to stand right in front of him. “As much as I love your dirty, greasy self--,” I start, still smirking, as I bring my arms around him. “It couldn’t hurt.” I finish, with a kiss.

“Never bothered ya before.” Daryl defends.

“Still doesn’t.” I affirm. “And I’m not gonna tell you do it if you really don’t want to. I’m not your mother.” I joke, with a chuckle getting a smirk out of him. 

“But, just so you know-- I’m gonna have one.” I announce, removing myself from him and turning to pick his crossbow up. I look back at him and start slowly walking backwards. “You gonna take that in the shower with ya?” Daryl pokes.

“Insurance.” I state with a grin. 

“For what?” Daryl questions, his slight smirk coming back.

“Well, if its inside with me-- you’re not distracted with it out here.” I explain as I open the front door. “See, the thing is-- I found it extremely hard to wash my back yesterday. I could do with some help.” I urge with a small mischievous grin.

Daryl hops down from the porch fencing and heads for me at the door. “This a desperate plea or do ya really need help?” Daryl smirks.

“Both.” I chuckle. 

“Get ya fat ass up there.” Daryl orders, before I bring him in for a kiss. “Yes, Mr. Dixon.” I whisper, getting an eye roll and groan from him, making me laugh even more.

-

“We’ve been increasing our radius mile by mile, spreading in a semicircle around the town.” Aiden announces as he leads, with Nicholas, the group through the woods to a specific spot, unbeknownst to the three of them following as to where and why.

“We’ve made it 53 miles out so far.” Nicholas adds.

“We break into two groups when we step outside our vehicle. If shit hits, we fire a flare. One group gets the other.” Aiden explains.

“Good system.” Noah admits.

“It is. Still, you’re standing here because we lost four people last month.” Aiden informs.

“What happened?” Glenn asks.

“We were on a run, roamers came out, they didn’t follow the system.” Aiden answers.

“They were good people.” Nicholas chimes.

“They were. They were just- scared.” Aiden adds.

“Look, I can be a hard ass. And I know I’m a douchebag. But someone’s got to call the ball around here and that someone is me. If you’re on this crew, you do exactly as I say.” Aide declares, turning around to look back at the three of them.

“Sorry you lost your people.” Tara says.

“Yeah. We got ours.” Aiden admits with a slight smirk as he turns back and him and Nicholas continuing walking ahead.

“Managed to snag one of the deadheads that took them down. Strung it up there.” Nicholas announces, pointing ahead as they walked. 

“What? Why?” Glenn questions, a little shocked as to why they’d do that, and not just kill it.

“Now we have a little pregame ritual. Get our heads on straight.” Nicholas explains.

“Remind us what we’re up against.” Aiden adds as they come to the spot.

“Son of a bitch.” Aiden exclaims as they all look at bloodied, dangling chains with walker gore stuck in the bottom of it, hanging from a tree. “Help me find it.” Aiden orders as he walks up to the tree.

“Look at this shit. Blood’s still wet. It’s nearby.” Nicholas informs as Aiden unties the chain from the tree while Glenn and the others stand around, looking out for any walkers that may approach. 

Nicholas whistles loudly all of a sudden, which makes all three of them turn and Tara shushes him. “Hey, hey. It’s gone.” Glenn informs, stepping back towards Nicholas.

“It took down one of our friends. If it’s nearby, we’re not letting it go.” Aiden snaps.

They all turn back to looking around, and Nicholas starts to whistle again, clapping this time also, when Aiden suddenly calls out. “Hey!” 

He gets everyone’s attention, and they look to see a walker stumbling past Aiden now towards Nicholas. “Hey, over here. Come on. Come on. Come at me.” Nicholas urges the walker as Aiden moves to come up behind it with the chain. Noah aims and cocks his gun at it which Nicholas and Aiden hear.

“No, don’t touch it.” Nicholas orders.

“The rest of you, back off.” Aiden yells as he grabs the arms of the walker. As he tries to get the chain around it, his grip seems to slip against the bloodied skin and gore of its arms and wrists. Seeing this, Tara and Glenn unsheathe their knives as they stand close watching. 

“Damn it.” Aiden says, his grip not taking hold of the walker well as it pulls away from him when it suddenly turns around and tries going for him. He keeps it barely away from him, holding one of its arms and pushing against its chest. As Tara steps forward, seeing him struggle, Aiden then pushes the walker forward sending it straight into Tara. Her hands go straight through its skin, and as she tries to keep it away, the skin tears and it staggers around in front of her.

“No, hold on to it!” Aiden exclaims as it pulls away and turns around on her. Tara tries to hold it back, gripping its neck and trying to hold its arms away, just as Glenn rushes forward and stabs the walker in the head.

“What the hell?!” Aiden yells angry as it slumps to the ground.

“Yeah, what the hell?” Tara spits at him. 

“You almost got her killed!” Glenn snaps, getting in front of Aiden. 

“I told you all to stay back! I told you to listen to every damn thing I said. I told you that.” Aiden exclaims, squaring up to Glenn. They stare back at each other in anger and annoyance, until Glenn walks away with Tara and Noah following. Glenn knew Aiden’s arrogance and ego was going to be a problem. 

-

Daryl’s hands tenderly caressed over my body as he rubbed the soap around my back in the shower. The sensation of the hot water on my skin was amazing but the touch of Daryl was and always is better. This man had quickly become my true one and only comfort in this world, even before the prison. I felt safe with him. So his touch on my skin was a forever welcome pleasure. I felt him skim over the scars on my back as he pressed light kisses onto my neck. I closed my eyes at the feeling, wanting to melt into him and never wanting to leave this moment. Since the prison, we hadn’t really gotten to catch a breath or get a moment like this to ourselves. It had only been over a month since the fall of the prison, but it had felt like so much longer.

“This still hurt?” Daryl questions in my ear, snapping me out my thoughts, as he runs his hand over my side. The bruising up it had nearly gone, just a slight discolouring and discomfort lingered there now. 

“Not really. It’s just lingering.” I answer.

Daryl gently wraps his arms around me, resting his hands on my bump. “M’ sorry.” He mumbles through the spray of water.

“What about?” I question, a little confused.

“I brought ya with me to Atlanta. Everything that hurt ya there-- that’s on me.” Daryl confesses. 

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to. Nor were you the cause of anything. We were there for a reason. And we’re still here. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” I assure, turning my head back over my shoulder at him. “We get to start over, remember.” I add, before kissing him under the flowing stream of water. 

-

Rick had seen everyone go off to meet the people they’d be working with now within the community. So, seeing as Deanna still hadn’t told him what his job was, he took the opportunity to go beyond the wall. As he checked around the perimeter and the close by terrain, he thought to check on the place he’d found when he’d walk off from Y/N and the group yesterday when the RV broke down. And where he had stashed Aaron’s gun away in the rubble of people’s things.

Rick approached the small, abandoned cabin, headed straight towards the eluding pile of stuff that had been chucked outside it. He crouched down on his knee and picked up the old blender he had hidden the gun inside, but when he took the lid off, he saw no gun. It had been taken. Rick rubs his hand in annoyance and confusion. No one knew he’d put it there, how was it gone? He threw the blender down in frustration just before he hears snarling and moans behind him. Standing up, he holsters his own gun and unsheathes his knife just as someone emerges at his side from the woods. It was Carl. He looked at him in slight concern as to why he was out here and alone, but the snarls got louder and they both turn to look over at the small group of oncoming walkers. Coming to Rick’s side, Carl stands with him, unsheathing his knife also.

“Get ready.” Rick says.

The first two walkers come at them both, which they take down easily. Carl pushes the walker to the ground before stabbing its head as Rick kills his in one swift plunge to the skull before he brings his knife into the side of the next walker’s head. Carl then stabs another straight into the forehead as Rick then holds the last at arm’s length. He feels something grab hold of his ankle suddenly and looks down to see a walker’s hand emerge from the rubble of stuff behind him. As Carl comes to help, they both stab the standing walker in the head and Rick shakes free of the walker stuck beneath the rubble. Rick steps to grab a metal pole within the rubble as they both look down at the clawing walker.

“Dad.” Carl says, holding his hand out for him to take the pole. Rick hands it to him and Carl plunges it into its head. He then discards the pole, chucking it back onto the rubble pile as he looks to his dad. Rick nods at him, to which he nods back. 

-

“Have you looked around yet?” I probe, as I dress myself along with Daryl from after the shower.

“Nah.” Daryl simply replies. 

“Are you gonna?” I ask.

“I’ll see it all eventually.” He defends.

I look at him curiously, ignoring putting my shoes on for the moment.

“Do you wanna be here, Daryl?” I question.

The question momentarily stops him, but he soon continues strapping his boots on as he answers. “People deserve a roof. The kids do. And you need it.” He vaguely answers. 

I resume putting my own boots on. “And you don’t think you’re one of them?” I ask.

“Mm-mm.” he mumbles with a shrug. 

I sigh a little as I stand up. “Daryl- I know you’re not used to this lifestyle, any more than I am. But I’m gonna try. You should too. And I’ll be here with you along the way.” I reassure, coming to stand in front of him, taking his hand in mine.

“It just ain’t us.” He points out.

“I know.” I agree. “But it could be.” I continue. “We won’t let ourselves become them. We can’t. And we won’t. But we’ll be our own version of a life here. I can see it.” I add. Daryl nods at my words but doesn’t speak. I could see he wasn’t overly comfortable in this place, but I hoped he would in time. 

“You wanna go hunting or something?” I ask, wanting to perhaps lift his spirts a little. 

“We just got here and you already wanna leave?” he pokes, slightly playful but doesn’t show it.

“Okay, smart-ass.” I retort, nudging him. “I just thought it’d be nice to spend some time outside the wall, seeing as we now have the assurance that we have a place to come back to. It’ll feel different. Like how it was before.” I explain. “A couple happy hunters.” I joke with a warm smile, to which he scoffs with a slight arch of his mouth. 

“Alright.” He agrees, turning around and picking my katana off the floor where my clothes had been discarded previously. “Come on.” He urges, holding his arch of a smile as he holds my katana out for me to take.

The two of us walked together, his crossbow in hand and my katana strapped to my back like always, as we headed for the gates to leave. People were all around the place now, walking to and from wherever and I noticed we were getting a lot of stares. I supposed we’d have to get used to that for a while, being the newcomers. As we neared the gate ahead, it was suddenly opened and Glenn, Tara and Noah came striding in with the two guys they’d gone out with behind them, Nicholas and Aiden, if I remembered correctly. But I soon noticed that Glenn looked far from pleased, and the same with Aiden as they marched inside. 

“You three need new gigs. You’re not ready for runs yet.” Aiden calls out. I immediately found that hard to believe as Daryl and I came towards them all.

“Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards.” Glenn retorts as they near approaching us, the frustration in his voice very apparent. What the hell had happened?

“Hey. Hey.” Aiden calls, striding to catch up to Glenn, and tugging his shoulder to get his attention. As Glenn turns back and the others stop around him, Daryl and I come to a stop before them all too, watching on. “Look, we got a way of doing things around here.” Aiden points out.

“You tied up walkers.” Glenn exclaims. They were doing what? 

“It killed our friend.” Aiden yells in defence and the confrontation starts to draw a crowd. 

“Look, I’m not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there.” Aiden insists.

“Then we’re just as screwed as your last run crew.” Glenn retaliates, making Aiden step into his face.

“Say that again.” He pokes.

“Hey, back off, Aiden.” Tara chimes as the two stare and square each other off. Aiden then pushes Glenn back a step.

“Come on, man. Just take a step back.” Noah urges calmly but it does nothing.

“Come on, tough guy.” Aiden spits as he pushes Glenn a second time.

“No one’s impressed, man. Walk away.” Glenn states and he was right. This guy seemed to have an ego and an arrogance. A couple things that didn’t mix with this world. He also seemed like an asshole. One I could tell was getting on Daryl’s nerves just as much as Glenn’s. And mine too.

“Aiden! What is going on?” Deanna calls as she approaches with Maggie.

“This guys got a problem with the way we do things.” Aiden answers. He then turns around to look at Deanna. “Why’d you let these people in?” he resentfully questions.

“Because we actually know what we’re doing out there.” Glenn points out, which makes Aiden suddenly swing back at Glenn. He easily dodges it and is quick to retaliate. 

“Aiden, no! That’s enough!” Deanna yells as Aiden swings and then gets knocked to the ground by Glenn’s punch. Nicholas drops his gear, seemingly to help his friend, but Daryl instantly drops his crossbow and runs, swiftly tackling him to the ground as Rick and Carl suddenly come running through the gates. As I suddenly noticed them, so much seemed to be going on in one moment. What had they been doing out there?

“I said that is enough!” Deanna reiterates as Rick runs up to Daryl, pinning Nicholas down, while I move over to Aiden, getting up from the ground.

“Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!” Rick calls as he gets hold of Daryl and tries prying him off Nicholas, who he was holding by his throat with one hand.

Aiden finally peels himself off the ground and looks up past me to Glenn, Maggie now at his side, and he tries to step past to get to him, but I stand firm in his way. “You wanna end up on your ass again?” I sternly say and he looks at me with a cold stare as he scoffs dismissively and tries to brush past me again, but I stand firm in his way again. “I’m not kidding.” I coldly state. 

He finally backs off and takes a step back as Rick gets Daryl off of Nicholas, who scrambles to a stand coughing. Rick keeps Daryl back, who I can tell is raged, as we all stand around watching and looking at each other.

“I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now, in all ways as equals. Understood?” Deanna yells to everybody around but directs a look to her son next to her.

He shrugs his arms and shoulders, slapping them back at his side. “Understood.” He repeats, staring at me and Glenn behind me to my side.

“All of you, turn in your weapons.” Deanna orders to those who gone out on the run, then turns to Aiden and Nicholas. “Then you two come talk to me.” She adds.

Noah and Tara walk off to turn in their weapons as Deanna looks around at the few of us stood around still, as Daryl stares coldly at Nicholas and Aiden before they then also walk away.

“I told you I had a job for you. I’d like you to be our constable.” Deanna suddenly announces to Rick. “That’s what you were. That’s what you are.” She adds and Rick looks slightly taken aback by it.

Deanna all of a sudden then looks my way. “And you, too Y/N.” She states, making me join in on the shocked response. She wanted me to be a constable? With Rick? She wanted us to be cops in this place? What good would that do, I started to think. 

“Will you accept?” Deanna asks, looking back to Rick. 

Rick takes a brief moment. “Okay.” He agrees, as he looks over to me, waiting for my response as Deanna does.

I’m not really sure what to think about it on the spot. The idea seemed a little strange and somewhat unnecessary. It was not what I thought she’d have given me, or Rick to be honest. I mean, what exactly would we do? I didn’t know what to say.

“Can- can I think about it?” I ask.

Deanna smiles slightly and nods. “Sure.” She affirms. 

Daryl then suddenly and quite noticeably scoffs as he turns and marches away. Picking up his crossbow from the ground, he looks back before continuing to march off. Whether he disapproved, or was just angry, and at me or not, I couldn’t tell. He was just clearly pissed for some reason. 

“Thank you.” Deanna says directed to Glenn. 

“For what?” he asks.

“For knocking him on his ass.” Deanna clarifies. 

Glenn nods in acknowledgment before he leaves to turn in his weapon. Maggie gives Deanna a small smile before they too start walking away, glancing back at Rick and I for a moment as they do. I stood there, left with only Rick, thinking about what exactly I wanted to do here. 

“Hey.” Rick quietly says as he walks over to me. “He’ll come around.” He states, referring to Daryl striding off in the distance. 

“Yeah.” I mutter, still half in thought.

There’s a brief pause as I still stood in slight thought. “Why didn’t you answer?” he questions, bringing me fully into the conversation. 

“Because I don’t know what it is.” I reply. 

“You said having one was a purpose. Now you got one.” Rick points out.

“Yeah. I’m just not sure if it’s one I wanted. Or we needed.” I retort. 

Rick just looks at me, reading my hesitancy. “I said I’d think about it. So, I will.” I assure. 

“Alright. But, I’d feel much better knowing you were doing it with me.” he urges with a slight warm smile. “Constable.” He lightly jokes. He brings out an unamused smile from me as I nudge his side and he then pats my shoulder as he starts to walk off.

I hadn’t spoken to Daryl the rest of the day, or anyone else really. But Daryl had distanced himself regardless, but not just from me, from everyone. He kept himself to himself, like he had been doing since he got here. I let him be for the day. Thinking I’d talk to him later at the right moment, and I’d take the time to think about Deanna’s proposal.

That moment didn’t come until the evening. All of us had gathered back in the one house again, staying and sleeping together in the living room. Everyone except Daryl, who was outside on the porch alone. Rick was upstairs, trying on a jacket that Deanna had brought over for him to try on earlier. She had brought over two, and he gestured for me to try the other on, but I dismissed it. For now, at least. The jacket seemed a bit much.

As Rick was upstairs and everyone was in the living room, I took the moment to talk to Daryl. I took myself out front onto the porch, to confront him, to see him standing in the corner, smoking.

He turns to see who it was had come out onto the porch, before turning his head back. I step out the door and move to the side, leaning against the wall of the house. He takes a drag of his cigarette before putting it out and flicking it away. As he exhales, he turns around and leans on the corner pillar. 

“You gonna tell me what that was about earlier?” I coolly question.

“Nothin’.” He answers, though I wasn’t convinced.

“You annoyed about the role Deanna proposed or something?” I probe.

He sighs under his breath. “No.” He simply replies. 

“Would you be annoyed if I took it?” I ask.

“Nah.” He mutters.

“Then what is it?” I question, stepping forward and coming to stand with Daryl.

“Just seems ridiculous to me, is all.” He finally explains, as I lean on the porch fencing next to him.

“I thought so too.” I back. “And perhaps it is.” I add. “The idea of a couple cops essentially walking around here-- even I think seems a little ludicrous for what kind of world we’re living in now.” I continue.

“But- Deanna’s trying to build something here. I see that.” I point out. “Can’t fault her for that.” I add. 

“I get it.” Daryl replies. “And I get why ya doin’ it. I do. It’s just-- new.” He states. 

“Yeah, it is. Even I’m still not 100%. But I’m giving it a go.” I announce. 

“So, you gonna take it?” Daryl asks. 

“I think so.” I confirm. 

“What made ya swing that way?” He probes.

“I’m still wary of the people here. But, if we’re gonna make a new start, we gotta start somewhere, right? And if this is what we have, then we gotta make it work for us. Even if it does include Rick and I being ‘constables’.” I explain, air quoting the word at the end. 

“Rick and I?” Rick’s voice repeats, coming from the front door. 

He steps forward onto the porch as we both look over to see him, walking over towards us wearing his police jacket Deanna had brought over. “You accepting the job?” he asks.

“Yeah.” I confirm. 

Rick nods slightly. “Good.” he replies, before he turns his attention to Daryl. 

“We good?” Rick asks.

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “So, you a cop again?” he questions, gesturing the jacket.

“I’m trying it on for size.” Rick answers.

“Well-- looks like we’ve signed the papers, Rick.” I point out, referring back to our late night conversation previously. “So, we staying?” I question. 

Rick sighs quietly. “Yeah.” He affirms. “We’ll stay together for tonight. But, I think we can start sleeping in our own homes. Settle in.” He continues. 

“I know I battled for us to be here-- and now that we are. And seeing how they are-- if we get comfortable here, if we let our guard down—that’s partly why I took the role. We can’t let that happen, ‘cause if we do-- this place is gonna make us weak.” I point out. 

“Carl said that.” Rick announces. “But it’s not gonna happen. We won’t get weak. That’s not in us anymore.” Rick continues. “We’ll make it work.” He adds.

“Yeah, we will. We can make this place work. For us all.” I agree. 

“And if they can’t make it-- then we’ll just take this place.” Rick declares, looking directly at us both. Daryl and I glance at each other before we nod at Rick in affirmation. Initially, it sounded brutal but then, it was reality. If they started to bring us down, no matter how much I wanted the place to work, we’d have to do something about it. I just hoped Rick gave them a chance before he reverted to this.


	20. twenty

A faint snarling and sound of leaves rustling in the near distance, made Rick, Daryl and Carol look around for the walker that was ultimately going to emerge from somewhere around them. They stood around the abandoned cabin Rick had stashed the, now missing, gun around, after he’d asked them to come out to talk about a strategy. 

“I don’t see sit, but it’s close. There’s just one of ‘em.” Daryl announces about the walker, stepping back to the other two.

“We won’t be here long.” Rick states.

“So what do you think?” He asks, referring to the plan he’d mentioned about getting some guns on the sly.

“We go in when it’s empty.” Carol suggests, talking about the armoury.

“How is that? It’s locked up at night.” Rick points out.

“The window. There’s just a latch. I can leave it open.” Carol informs.

“What if one of those pricks shuts it?” Daryl questions.

“Wait a couple days, leave it open again.” Carol answers, as the snarling is heard again, and louder.

Daryl turns, looking around. “It’s getting closer.” He announces.

“We need to do it sooner than later. Right now, they’re not watching us. Not worrying about meetings like this. We may need the guns, we may not.” Rick explains.

“We will, whatever way it goes.” Carol states. 

“They’re the luckiest damn people I ever met. And they just keep getting luckier.” Rick declares.

“How’s that?” Daryl asks.

“We’re here now.” Rick replies. 

Daryl nods slightly in acknowledgement. “They’ve got a couple of footlockers, just full of 9 millimeter autos, Rugers, Kel-Tecs. Just tossed in there. They don’t use them. they’re never gonna know they’re gone.” Carol announces.

“Someone’s got one now, right?” Daryl points out, gesturing to the blender Rick had told them he’d put Aaron’s gun, that was now missing. 

“Listen, the others, we want them to try.” Rick states. “You, too.” Carol adds, looking at Daryl, who just looks at her. “So we keep it quiet. Just us.” Rick orders.

“What about Y/N?” Daryl asks.

“I get you probably don’t wanna keep something from her, but I’m asking you to. She’ll only protest this. Let’s keep it between us, for now.” Rick explains, and Daryl hesitantly nods but agrees nonetheless as the snarls get louder and the walker emerges.

“Here it comes.” Rick says.

Daryl turns and readies his crossbow. “I got him.” He declares.

“Hey, wait.” Carol calls and steps forward, aiming her gun and then shoots several rounds into the chest and body of the oncoming walker before shooting its head finally. The two of them look at Carol questionably as to why she took so long to shoot it and turning to face them she sees their looks.

“We said we were taking me out shooting. I couldn’t go back with a full mag.” She points out.

“Lucky he came by.” Daryl chimes.

“We should get back.” Rick says and the three of them start to head back.

“You’ll pull the latch, we’ll pick our moment. Us- we don’t need to be lucky.” Rick announces as they come to pass the dead walker. 

Daryl clocks something about the walker and crouches over it. “The hell’s that? Is that a ‘W’?” He questions as they all stand around it, seeing a carved ‘W’ on its forehead. 

“Yeah.” Carol affirms. They all look around each other slightly puzzled. 

“Come on. Let’s get back.” Rick urges.

“I’m gonna walk around for a bit.” Daryl announces.

“Alright. Watch yourself.” Rick responds before him and Carol start walking off again, leaving Daryl. 

-

I’d seen Daryl, Rick and Carol go off from the house together that morning after we all moved around, and they hadn’t come back for a while, making me wonder what they were up to. But I soon dismissed it, probably thinking too much into it. I was the only one in the house now. We’d all moved into our own spaces across the two houses and chosen our rooms. It hadn’t taken long, as none of us really cared what we got. A room was a room. It was luxury to even have a bed and a room to ourselves at this point. Plus, we didn’t really have many belongings to move around. We’d basically been split in half through the houses. In ours, Daryl and I shared a room, the same as Glenn and Maggie, then everyone else, Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Carol and Gabriel had their own rooms. Although Gabriel tended to keep himself situated in the church most of time, keeping himself to himself. Our house had a few more people as we had a couple more rooms, but the six left filled the next house, getting a room each also. It was two full houses. And I was weird to think, we’d be waking up like normal, if there was a normal anymore, from our own rooms in an actual house together now. Daryl had been the least bothered about a room, just urging me to pick one. But I protested and made him choose. He had argued he didn’t care, and he most likely didn’t, but I knew Daryl wasn’t still overly comfortable here. I really didn’t care what room we had, so I wanted him to chose one he’d be comfortable with. It was a small thing, but I thought, if he had a space he wanted, that was his, ours, then it’d be a good start for him to feel comfortable here. He ultimately chose the basement room, which amused me. It had been what I expected. It was a Daryl room for sure. Isolated and separate from the others. But I didn’t mind, especially that it was our room. It would be our place of privacy and comfort. In a way, I was glad he chose it. 

Everyone else had started helping around the community, getting into their roles, so I decided to do the same and look for my jacket Deanna had brought over. The same one Rick had been wearing since the previous night. I’d accepted the role, now it was time to commit to it. I figured Rick had taken it up to his room, and soon found it in there. I took my katana off my back and leant it against a chest of drawers next to a long, standing mirror. I put the police windbreaker jacket on and looked at myself with it on in the mirror. I sighed. I looked ridiculous. It was all a bit overly elaborate, but it was what Deanna wanted. So, it was what we’d do. I looked over at my katana and stared at it for a brief moment. Unsheathing it, I held it up in my hand and looked it over before looking at myself in the mirror again. I looked even more absurd with the sword. I sighed again, looking back over my katana. Maybe I didn’t need it here anymore. Out there, of course. But in here, it suddenly seemed a little silly. A cop with a sword. Yeah, it was odd. All of it was, to be honest. 

My thoughts were suddenly snapped as someone cleared their throat behind me, and I turned around to see Rick leaning in the doorway, with a more than amused look on his face. I let the sword drop down to my side as I look at him smirking at me.

“Stop.” I say.

“What?” he smiles. 

“You shaved your beard. So, I can see you smirking now.” I point out playfully, bringing a slight smirk onto my face now.

“Alright, enough about the beard. Or lack thereof.” He replies.

I smile but it soon fades into a slightly unimpressed expression as Rick’s smirk returns looking at me in the jacket. “I look ridiculous.” I state.

He smiles. “No, you don’t.” he reassures.

“I know I do, ‘cause I feel it.” I retort, my smirk coming back.

“Well, I’ll admit. I’ve never seen a pregnant officer with a sword. It’s a first.” he playfully pokes. 

“You’re telling me.” I reply as the both of us chuckle. 

“Yeah, they’re gonna be scared to offend, alright.” Rick teases.

“Okay, you’re just taking the piss now.” I say as I step forward and punch his arm gently. I turn around and sheathe my katana back in its case. 

“I don’t know if this is some kind of play, handing authority to strangers.” Rick points out. 

I roll my eyes a little as I look back over to him. “The authority to break up fist fights.” I mock, with a slight smile.

“If it was just that, she should have given one of these to Daryl.” Rick jokes.

I scoff in amusement. “Now wouldn’t that be the day.” I reply, the both of us chuckling with each other again. 

“Look, I don’t know if it’s for us or for them. Or maybe Deanna’s trying to get rid of us and them. You put these jackets on me and you, have the people see it. If that’s the plat, that’d be smart. And she seems smart.” I point out.

“Smart for then, or smart for now?” Rick questions.

“This is now.” I state.

Rick doesn’t say anything, he just nods. “Deanna wants to talk to us.” he announces and turns in the doorway. 

“Hey. Where’d you go earlier? With Daryl and Carol? I saw you leave suddenly together. Everything alright?” I ask.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” He replies coolly.

“So where’d you go?” I question.

“Ah, nowhere really. We was just scoping the area.” He answers. 

I wasn’t sure if I believed him, but I didn’t want to keep pushing him, in case he really was telling the truth. “ Okay.” I respond. 

“Come on. Deanna’s waiting.” Rick urges and I join behind him to leave.

-

Daryl walked through the woods. He didn’t really have any reason to be out here. he knew he just wanted to be out here, rather than inside the walls of Alexandria. The place wasn’t him, and he wasn’t sure it ever would be. Being out in the woods was more for him.

Daryl suddenly heard leaves rustling and knew someone was watching him instantly. “Come out!” He calls, aiming his crossbow in the sound’s direction. “Now!” he orders, coming closer to the shrubbery. 

Aaron then emerges out into view with his hands up, and Daryl drops his bow.

“You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?” Aaron asks as he lowers his hands back down to his side. Daryl doesn’t say anything, he just stares blankly at Aaron. 

“Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy?” Aaron follows up. “Y/N seems to be. Rick, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be an expert at that.” He adds.

“There ain’t much of a difference no more.” Daryl retorts a little coldly. 

“That how you feel about your people?” Aaron questions.

“Why you followin’ me?” Daryl snaps, stepping forward.

“I didn’t know I was. I came out to hunt rabbits.” Aaron answers as Daryl stares back at him.

“I know why you’re out here.” Aaron states. “Can I join?” He asks. 

Daryl turns and starts walking away. “Keep up. And keep quiet.” Daryl orders as he walks. Aaron starts following him, trying to hide his small smile. 

-

“You protect and serve. You patrol, walk the wall, watch out for the kids. If there’s a conflict, you solve it.” Deanna explains about our job here, as I sat at the table with her and Maggie in Deanna’s dining room, with Rick stood behind me. “And people will listen to you.” She adds.

“’Cause we’re wearing windbreakers?” I mock slightly.

“Because they believe in this. Because I’m telling them to.” Deanna states.

“A police officer used to live here. So we had these jackets, and I wanted to make it official. So it’s official.” She points out. 

“There’s gonna be a government here one day. That’s why I want Maggie working with me. There’s gonna be a police force. That’s why I want you two to start it. I see a vibrant community here with industry, commerce, civilisation. Real lives.” Deanna announces. So, she did have big plans, and I didn’t blame her. She was a woman with a vision. Who was I to stop her. “It might be horses and mills, but—what?” she says, stopping herself as she looks up at Rick over the table. “Does that sound like pie in the sky?” she asks.

“No.” Maggie answers, making Deanna look to her, before looking to me.

“No, it doesn’t.” I assure and we all look to Rick.

“No.” Rick repeats. Deanna smiles and nods at our collective answers.

“Can we talk security?” Rick urges.

“Sure, go ahead.” Deanna affirms. 

“Let’s take a walk.” He orders, more than suggests. 

“Alright, then.” Deanna replies and the three if us rise from the table. 

The four of us walk along the wall as Rick leads us, past the solar panel patch and the clock tower just outside the wall.

“We need a constant patrol along the walls. Not just looking for damage, but signs that anyone climbed in from outside.” Rick points out, which just makes Deanna look at him as if to say why they’d need to do that. “You can move right up the supports. That’s what I’d do. People are the real threat now.” He explains.

“Rick, I know you think that we should all be armed within the walls. I- I can’t do that.” Deanna states.

“That’s fine. You make these changes we won’t need to.” Rick responds.

“Excuse me.” Someone calls, making us all look over to see Sasha approaching.

She comes up to stand by Deanna. “I want to volunteer to be one of the lookouts in the clock tower.” She offers.

“There are no lookouts in the clock tower.” Deanna announces. 

“What?” Rick says, an annoyed shock coming through his voice. “We saw someone up there earlier?” I point out.

“That was an empty rifle my son Spencer put up there. He mans it sometimes, but not often.” Deanna explains, making Rick and I glance at each other in concern. “Look, there hasn’t been the need.” She defends.

“We need a lookout in that tower right now, 24/7.” Rick insists, a little sternly.

“It’s the only way we’ll be able to see if someone’s coming at us.” I explain.

“Okay, okay, we’ll make shifts.” Deanna agrees.

“I’ll take those shifts as many as possible.” Sasha declares. 

“Why?” Deanna questions, and Sasha seems a little lost for words for an answer. 

“Sasha’s one of our best shots. She can do it.” Maggie backs.

“I’m gonna put Spencer up there today. I’ll consider you bring our primary lookout, but I want something in return.” Deanna offers, and Sasha stands waiting silent for what it is. “Tonight, I’m hosting a welcome for all of you at my home.” Deanna announces, looking around us all, before landing back on Sasha. “I want you to be there.” She states.

“Why?” Sasha asks.

“Come tonight. Then we’ll talk about it.” Deanna answers, and Sasha then walk offs.

“I want you all to be there. I hope to see you.” Deanna tells the three of us. “And if you felt like dressing nicely, that would be a sight to behold.” She adds, smiling, although I glance at Rick slightly unnerved by the idea of a party and I can see he’s not so sure of it either. 

-

“You need anything else, you hit me, girl.” One of the women Carol was now walking away from, down their porch steps, calls out.

“Okay, thanks.” Carol calls back as she walks away from the porch, towards Rick who was now walking past. Rick waves to the group of women on the porch, who started waving and smiling at him, as Carol comes to his side.

“You’ve heard about the party?” Carol asks as they walk.

“Everyone’s gonna be there.” Rick points out.

“That’s right.” Carol says.

“So tonight, then.” Rick announces.

“Should be able to slip out.” Carol affirms.

“Deanna’s having the party at her house. The armory is right next to hers. I’ll back you up.” Rick informs.

“People might wonder where their new constable is or Carl’s dad.” Carol points out.

“Okay.” Rick responds. “We can’t use Daryl. They’re watching every move he makes.” He instructs.

“It’s fine. You know what’s great about this place? I get to be invisible again.” Carol announces, smiling to Rick, making him smile back amused at her remark.

-

Daryl had been out with Aaron for most of the day, tracking and hunting, looking around the woods. Daryl had spotted some faint animal tracks in the dried forest ground and followed them with Aaron behind until they eventually came to their owner. A horse nickers ahead, which they both hear and look up to see the horse stood in a grassy clearing. They both quietly walk up to the treeline that surrounded the small clearing and look out at the black horse as it calmly nickers and eats the long grass.

“I’ve been trying to catch him for months, bring him inside.” Aaron points out. “His name is buttons.” Aaron announces, making Daryl look at him plainly. 

“One of the kids saw him run by the gate a while back. Thought he looked like a buttons.” Aaron elaborates.

“We even built a small stable area for him in the community. I kept seeing him around and the kids got attached to the idea of bringing him back. So, it was something to do I suppose-- and to hold onto.” Aaron explains. 

“Haven’t seen him in a while. I was afraid it was too late.” Aaron says as he takes his bag from his back and Daryl straps his crossbow to his back. “Every time Eric or I come close, he gets spooked.” He continues as he gets rope from his bag, which Daryl takes from him.

“Have you done this before?” Aaron questions.

“Y/N and I did. But they weren’t out there that long. The longer they’re out there the more they become what they really are.” Daryl answers, gathering the rope, before slowly going into the clearing to approach the horse.

“I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Alright?” Daryl calmly and gently says as he holds the rope out and approaches the horse cautiously. “Come on, boy. Yeah. Just keep on eatin’. Yeah. Good boy.” Daryl continues slowly on his approach and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, you used to be somebody’s, huh? Now you’re just yours.” Daryl whispers as he comes close to the horse when a twig suddenly snaps and gets the attention of the horse and him. He looks over to see walkers approaching and the horse, spooked, neighs on it hind legs and gallops away. “Shit.” Daryl exclaims as he drops the rope.

“Come on, they’re coming!” Daryl calls to Aaron as he takes his crossbow off his back.

The two of them start taking down the walkers. Aaron shoots his silenced rifle and Daryl with his crossbow. The both of them then switch their weapons as they take more on, Aaron swapping his rifle for his machete and Daryl unsheathing his knife. After they kill the cluster of walkers, Daryl grabs the rope from the ground.

“Come on.” He urges Aaron as he takes off in the direction of the horse. 

-

Rick, Carl, Michonne and I were sat in the kitchen of our house, all talking as Rick was feeding Judith. It was nice to sit and have a moment together, in a secure place we could now start calling a home. Still, it was something to get used to, but I could appreciate it nonetheless. 

“I can’t believe we’re gonna have another one of these around soon.” Michonne gleams as she fusses over Judith in Rick’s lap next to her.

“You and me both.” I chime, nervously chuckling. 

“It’ll be nice for them to grow up together. Here.” Michonne points out with a smile.

“Yeah. I hope so.” I agree.

“They will.” Carl affirms with a smile next to me. “And they’ll be more than friends. They’ll be family. Like siblings.” he grins.

I look at Carl, mirroring his smile at his remark. “So, is this you saying you’re up for babysitting both your baby siblings then?” I joke with a smirk, getting a laugh from Carl.

“That’s what it sounded like to me. Rick?” I continue teasing.

“Yeah, that’s what I heard.” Rick mocks too as him and Michonne smile on at us.

“I guess.” Carl gives in with an amused eye roll.

“’I guess’? Where’s the enthusiasm, kid?” I joke, nudging him. 

“Well, I figured you’d probably wanna do it. Seeing as it’ll be part of your new job.” Carl points out, and I can see he’s trying to hide his smirk, as I look at him curiously. “You know, as a housewife.” He adds, with a mischievous grin, getting a couple snorts and laughs from the rest of us.

“Yeah, punk?” I say as I pull him into a headlock in my lap and rub my knuckles over his head and hair, while he tries scrambling out my hold. “Think you’re funny, huh?” I smirk as Rick and Michonne laugh and Carl giggles as he squirms. “Alright, alright, let me go.” He squeals and I release him. 

I scoff at him. “’Housewife’.” I mutter as I lightly punch his arm just as there’s a knock at the door.

We all look to the door, but none of us move instantly at the sound. “Hey, it’s Jessie.” A voice calls from behind the door and Rick then gets up and hands Judith to Michonne next to him before he heads for the door. He got up pretty quickly and Michonne and I both register it, as we both glance at each other amusingly with hidden smiles. I then decide to get up to see what Jessie was here for and I hear the other two follow.

“Hey.” Rick greets after opening the door, just as we all come into view of the doorway.

“Hi.” Jessie smiles, then peers inside and sees us. “Oh great, you’re here. Can I come in?” She asks.

“Course. Come in.” Michonne answers, seeing as Rick hadn’t as he just stood holding the door open. She brushes past Rick and steps into the house, holding another box. What had she brought this time? 

“Um, so, a few of us have collected some clothes for you all to wear tonight for the party. Only, of course, if you’re comfortable with it. It’s just, Deanna wants us to dress nicely, and we figured you guys probably don’t have many ‘party’ clothes. You know, like nice shirts and dresses.” Jessie rambles with a smile. “So, yeah, here it is.” She adds as she steps over to us, holding it out. Carl takes it and the three of us glimpse down at the many clothes in the box. 

“I know there’s quite a lot in there, but we weren’t sure what exact sizes people were or what you liked, so a few of us just chucked a whole bunch of things in there. But, no pressure. It was just a thought. If you don’t wear them, we won’t take offence.” Jessie chuckles. 

“Thank you. We’ll show them to everyone.” Michonne thanks with a smile. 

“Great, well I won’t keep interrupting.” Jessie says as she goes to turn, but suddenly jolts back. “Oh, Y/N, I put one of maternity dresses in there. Just so there was something in there for you, if you wanted.” She announces. 

“Oh, thanks. I’ll, um, take a look at it.” I reply with a smile, which Jessie hadn’t stopped holding since she got in, and with her smile, she nods and turns to leave. She was a happy person. A nice woman, with a sunny disposition. She was also pretty, and I could see why Rick had a slight thing for her. At least, that’s what I could, and Michonne too by the looks of it, even if Rick didn’t realise it or not.

“I’ll see you all there later.” She gleams as she leaves for the door.

“Thanks, Jessie.” Rick says as she passes him. “Anytime.” She replies and heads out onto the porch as Rick closes the door.

When he turns around he sees the amused looks on mine and Michonne’s faces. “What?” he questions.

“You froze a little when you saw her.” I smile.

Rick rolls his eyes and scoffs with an unimpressed smile. “Alright. No more teasing. It was nothing.” he states.

“What? I didn’t even get to say anything.” Michonne protests with a smirk.

“Exactly.” Rick points out, making Michonne and I chuckle between each other as he walks over and grabs the box from Carl bringing it into the living room with us behind him.


	21. twenty one

Daryl had followed the horses tracks after it ran off spooked, with Aaron right behind him as they both walked through the woods after it.

“So you ride horses?” Aaron suddenly asks.

“I ride bikes.” Daryl replies.

“I take it you don’t mean 10-speeds.” Aaron jokes, but gets nothing out of Daryl.

“I know you’re feeling like an outsider. It’s not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we’re still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We’ve heard our fair share of well meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women.” Aaron explains, getting a mumbled groan in response from Daryl. “People are people.” Aaron adds, shrugging. “The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain.” Aaron continues. 

“Stupid gets ya killed.” Daryl announces. “Y/N said that. And she’s right.” He adds.

Aaron nods to himself, seeing the truth in that. 

“You know, they’re scared of you and me for different reasons. They’re less scared of me because they know me. It’s less and less every day. So, let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna’s party tonight.” Aaron urges.

“I got nothin’ to prove.” Daryl states, keeping his eyes on the tracks as they walk and talk. “I met a lot of bad people out here, doing a lot of bad shit. They weren’t afraid of nothin’. Daryl points out.

“Yeah, they were.” Aaron retorts as Daryl holds his arm back for him to stop but as he does Aaron steps on a twig and the horse nickers ahead. Aaron looks up to see it, but it quickly starts running away.

“Come on.” Daryl says as he starts running after it.

They follow it to another small clearing, but it was fenced and the horse had ran into it through the entryway. As the two of them come to a stop at the entrance they see there’s walkers in it also. 

“Gotta move quick. He’s pinned in with ‘em.” Daryl announces looking around at the scattered walkers now all directing to the horse. “I got the far ones.” Daryl declares as he starts heading in and towards a patch of walkers. Aaron then starts running towards the other side, with the rest of the walkers but suddenly trips over a dead sheep and is grabbed by the ankle by a walker trapped beneath it. He scrambles to get his machete off his belt and then quickly slices the hand of the walker. Daryl suddenly appears and forcibly stomps on the walker’s head, before grabbing another that was coming up behind Aaron. He pulls it forward and pushes its head down onto the horn of the dead sheep, killing it. 

“Thank you.” Aaron says as he gets to his feet, grabbing his weapons. When he looks up, another walker was now coming up behind Daryl as he went to grab his crossbow from the ground. Aaron quickly aims his rifle and shoots it down through the head.

Daryl looks over at it, holding his crossbow, before turning back. “Thanks.” He says in turn, before they both run after the walkers getting close to the horse. But as they run to its aid, seeing it whinny in panic going up on its hind legs, before they can do anything, it gets taken down by the walkers. They stop at seeing it’s too late and watch in deflation as it horrifically starts being torn apart, whinnying in terror and pain.

“I got the ones on the right.” Daryl states sombrely as he starts to stride over, taking an arrow from his crossbow as Aaron readies his gun in his hands, heading over also for the left. 

After killing the feasting walkers, Daryl stabs the last in the head and takes some steps back from the horse, which was still clinging onto life in visible pain.

“Go ahead.” Daryl urges at Aaron, for him to put it out of his misery.

Aaron lifts his rifle and aims it at the horse’s head and with a heavy heart he shoots it. With a saddened sigh, he lowers the gun. “He always ran.” Aaron points out distraught as he looked at the torn and gnawn horse.

Daryl looks at him, staring down at the horse with pity. “You were tryin’ to help him.” He reassures before heading back out of the fenced clearing, Aaron following soon after.

-

“Hey, Glenn, Maggie and everyone have left already. Are you coming or what?” Rick calls from downstairs.

I turn to Michonne at the top of the stairs, just as Carl starts going down. I scoff. “He’ll get what.” I say, getting a smile from her. Michonne had helped me get the dress on properly Jessie had lent me specifically. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be wearing it, but majority of the group had put the shirts and casual dresses on that Jessie had brought over. So, I figured it’d be rude not to wear it if everyone else had made the effort. I’d got the dress on most of the way, but it was long and Michonne had to help me pull it down my legs to the full length. It was one of those long, casual looking, maternity maxi dresses, and it finished around my ankles. And seeing as I had trouble reaching down to my ankles nowadays, Michonne helped me drag it down. I was glad it wasn’t an elaborate dress; it was understated, and I hoped it would help me go unnoticed, but I very much doubted it. I was part of the newcomers, and very pregnant. Even though it was black, plain and simple, I was still going to be on everyone’s radar, just like Rick and everyone else would be. I had to admit I felt a little silly wearing the dress, but I was just happy that it was actually comfortable, and tried to focus on that for now, rather than the oddness of the situation and also the inevitability of meeting loads of new people at this party.

“Why you so eager to get there?” Michonne questions, as we start descending the stairs. 

“’Cause the sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave.” Rick answers.

“Now that’s an idea I can get behind.” I reply as I turn the corner of the stairs.

When I see Rick, he’s holding Judith, looking a little surprised at the sight of both Michonne and I in our dresses. It wasn’t like they were jaw dropping, they were plain, casual dresses that you probably would have overlooked before, but then considering the context, no one had seen any of us girls in any kind of clothes like this. It was jeans, tops and shirts mostly. And I had been wearing a large shirt for quite a while now, so I suddenly understood the surprised look from Rick. 

“You look--,” Rick starts with a smile, as the two of us come off the stairs and towards him. “Nope. I heard enough from you about the jacket. I don’t need to hear it about this. I already feel stupid as it is.” I interject.

Rick scoffs in amusement. “I was gonna say you look- nice.” Rick admits.

“Right.” I smirk.

“I was.” He defends, with a slight chuckle. “You both do.” He adds, with a warming smile.

“You don’t scrub up so bad yourself.” Michonne chimes, as Rick stood holding Judith in one of the shirts. 

“Yeah, well. Feels a little alien now.” Rick points out.

“You’re telling me.” I scoff.

“Yeah, wait until Daryl sees you. He won’t recognise you.” Rick teases with a smile.

“Well, hopefully we’ll be home and I’ll have it off by the time he gets back.” I reply.

“Yeah, I bet you do.” Michonne whispers in my ear, smirking, getting a nudge from me and she giggles to herself.

“Are you guys ready to leave, or what?” Carl calls from by the front door, sporting a grin.

“Oo, like father, like son.” Michonne chimes.

“We’re coming.” Rick says as we all start walking to him at the door.

“Hey, Carl, where are your manors?” I ask as I turn around coming out onto the porch, looking at Carl closing the door. He looks at me slightly confused, as do the other two. “What’s a housewife got to do to get an escort around here, huh?” I joke, getting laughs from them. Carl shakes his head as he smiles and joins me at my side as we walk down the porch, with Michonne and Rick in front. 

When we get to Deanna’s, we can already hear the people inside chatting away from behind the front door. Michonne opens it and her and Rick step in, followed by Carl and I. The four of us come into the living room, and stand looking around. People were standing around the place, filling the room and the kitchen. They were drinking, chatting, and smiling, all dressed smartly and within them was majority of our group. It was strange seeing them amongst this setting and dressed somewhat smartly. 

I then clock Deanna coming over, a big smile on her face. “Oh, my.” I hear her mutter to herself as she approaches, no doubt about our appearances. “Welcome.” She calls on approach.

“Hi.” Michonne greets.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you. And, may I add, dressed so nicely.” Deanna states, and in my head my eyes rolled a little. “Thank you for coming.” She says, getting a nod from Rick.

“You know, I didn’t get a chance to interview this one. I envy her.” Deanna points out.

“Why?” Rick asks.

“She’ll get to see what this place will become.” Deanna answers. “As will yours.” She adds, looking to me and I smile in response. I hoped she was right. I was counting on it. “Come. Come on in.” Deanna urges as she turns and moves back into the crowd. Michonne and Carl fill out, heading for others amongst the party. Michonne joined some of the group, whereas Carl joined some kids his age. It was nice to see he had made friends his own age already. I noticed neither Rick nor I had actually moved yet.

“I don’t know about this.” I quietly think aloud. “Yeah. I feel it.” Rick replies as we both look around.

“At least they got beer.” He jokes.

I scoff a little under my breath. “You’re talking to a pregnant woman, remember.” 

He chuckles softly. “I know.” 

I sigh. “But we gotta try, right?” I point out, turning to face him.

Rick nods. “I’m gonna try.” He replies, with a small smile, which I mirror.

“Rick. Y/N.” Deanna calls from across the room, getting our attention, as she stood with a man nearer the kitchen. “Alright, here we go.” I mutter between us as we start walking over.

“So, the infamous pair came.” The man greets as we come up to Deanna and him. Infamous pair? Well, people were clearly talking about us as suspected.

“Rick, Y/N, this is my husband Reg.” Deanna introduces.

“You’re both pretty remarkable people.” Reg states, and his remark takes me by surprise a little. It was a description I wasn’t expecting.

“How’s that?” Rick questions.

“I watched the tapes. All of them.” Reg announces. “The things those people said about both of you. The things you did for them. What you both said about each other, and your people.” He explains, making Rick and I glance at each other briefly. What exactly had they all said. and about me as well? I wasn’t there leader. And it wasn’t like we hadn’t all saved and done things for each other. Maybe they did see me as Rick’s right hand. Even Rick. 

I snap myself back to the conversation. “Didn’t you build that wall out there?” I ask, highlighting his own remarkable efforts, remembering what Deann had mentioned in our first chat.

Reg chuckles a little to himself at my mention. “Yeah, I did, with help. A lot of it. And it’s a damned incredible achievement. But it’s a wall.” Reg explains, dismissing himself humorously, making Deanna chuckle and Rick and I smile. “14 other lives in this world? I think you two have me beat.” Reg points out. I immediately started to like this man. He was cool and calm and wasn’t being overly friendly. He wasn’t arrogant. He was just a decent man by my first impression.

“Well, we’re standing behind that wall right now, dear. So, lets call it a tie.” Deanna states lovingly in his defence.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here, and to finally meet you. As well as your people.” Reg declares. “Now, I’d have offered you both a drink but, under the circumstances--,” he continues, looking to me with a warm smile. “Hey, don’t let me stop you.” I interject, mirroring his smile. “Well, I just wanted to mention that the offer would have been there.” he points out, holding his smile, before looking to Rick. “So- Rick, take a glass.” Reg urges.

“I’m good.” Rick politely rejects.

“You don’t have to be.” Reg points out, and he had a point. 

I turn to face Rick at my side. “He’s right.” I softly back, making Rick look back at me. I hold my arms up slightly, motioning for me to take Judith from him. Rick looks from me to Deanna and Reg, before giving in with a smile. “Alright.” He says as he hands Judith over to me.

Reg puts a glass in Rick’s hand as he laughs lightly to himself. “There you go.” He chimes before pouring some whiskey into their glasses.

“Welcome. Both of you.” Reg warmly toasts as the two clink their glasses.

“Thank you.” I gently reply and Rick nods. “Yeah. Thank you.” Rick repeats just as the sound of the front door creaks opens, and Rick turns to look. I follow his stare and turn to see Jessie entering with her kids and a man behind her. Looking at the four of them, he was probably her husband. She’d only mentioned her kids in the moments she’d come over, but then again they were brief, and I didn’t exactly talk much with her. As I watched Rick look over at them, it was obvious, at least to me, that he was looking at Jessie. 

“Why don’t you two go mingle amongst yourselves, before D here starts dragging you around meeting everybody.” Reg urges, poking at Deanna. 

“Oh, stop, you.” Deanna pokes back. “But, I do want you to meet everybody, as our new constables. So, perhaps if I have to, I will drag you around.” She continues, chuckling to herself. Rick and I smile as we turn to walk away from them both, and as we do, I see Jessie coming closer in our direction. I was going to call her over, wanting to see how Rick faired talking to her, but she beat me to it. Jessie starts waving us over, and we both head for her and what must be her husband. 

“Hey, Rick, Y/N, this is my husband Pete.” Jessie introduces as we come up to them both.

“Hey, good to meet you.” Pete greets, as he shakes Rick’s hand and I adjust my grip on Judith to then shake it also. “I wanted to thank both of you, for taking on being our constables. If we keep growing at this rate, we’re gonna need even more.” Pete states.

“Mm. I hope so.” Rick replies, and I have to stop myself from glancing at him. He was totally playing along.

“So, Y/N, you want to come by my office sometime soon? I’ll take a look at you?” Pete announces, and for a brief moment I was a little confused and uncomfortable by what he’d just said, and he clearly read that. “And I probably should have said, I was a doctor first.” Pete chuckles to himself, and I force myself to put on a smile in response. 

“Yeah, that sounds-- good.” I reply. I don’t what it was, but this guy was making me a little uneasy, and I was suddenly not so thrilled he was the doctor here I remember Deanna mentioning now.

“Well, we better do it soon. You look like you’re about ready to blow.” Pete laughs to himself, making my forced smile come out again. Yeah, I didn’t like this guy; he was already starting to get on my nerves. I hope the rest of the people here weren’t like this; I hope they’re more like Reg. 

“As mother of two kids, I think I can speak for both Y/N and I, and say that when you’re close to your due date, and someone says that- you wanna punch that person in the jaw. Isn’t that about right, Y/N?” Jessie jokingly points out with a smile, although I suspect it wasn’t much of a joke, more than the truth, cause she hit the nail pretty much on the head there. 

I share a glance with Rick. “Round about.” I back with an actually amused smile, seeing Rick with the same expression and knowing he knew the man was getting on my nerves. 

Pete holds his hands up. “Alright, I surrender.” He jests. “Best thing to do with the women, isn’t that right, Rick?” Pete jokes, patting his hand on Rick’s upper arm. Rick looks at where he pats him before he glances over to me. “Round about.” Rick wits back, repeating my words as he looks back at him. Now I knew he was getting on Rick’s nerves just as much. How was Jessie with this guy?

“Well, I’m going to get us a refill.” Pete announces, grabbing Rick’s glass.

“Oh, I can do it.” Jessie offers. “I’m on it.” Pete quickly snaps, trying to cover a slight sternness in his voice, but I picked it up regardless, before he walks off. It was small, but from that, I now knew something was off about him. And I wondered if perhaps, that sternness was somewhat elevated behind closed doors.

Jessie almost shakes it off, her big smile returning to her face. “Having fun?” She questions, starting conversation up again. 

Both Rick and I nod, a little unenthusiastically. “Yes, I am.” Rick answers with a smile. “Oh, yeah.” I reply, with a slightly sarcastic smile.

Jessie reads both of us, and her expression scrunches up. “That’s kind of a stupid question, right?” Jessie points out.

Rick chuckles a little. “No.” He replies with comfort in his tone. I could see Rick was enjoying having Jessie in his company and, even though she was married, I quickly felt like a third wheel and decided to get out of there.

“Well, I think I’m gonna go get some air before Deanna starts showing us off.” I announce, using the lame excuse to leave the two of them, and I walk off with a smile directed at Rick, which I can just see is making his eyes roll inside his head. 

As I walk around the room, heading for the small snack table that was laid out, I avoided any eye contact, if it was even there from anyone. After grabbing a plate with some finger food and a poker stick, I head outside, hoping to get some air alone for a moment. I’d said that to get away from Rick and Jessie, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. I stood on Deanna’s porch, as the light of the day had now started to fade into a crisp evening, holding Judith at my side. I leant my plate on the porch’s wooden railing and tried stabbing the bits of food with the poker, which was in the shape of a sword, to no avail. It kept slipping off the bits of food or just wasn’t stabbing them at all. Either it was a crappy bit of utensil or I was being hopeless. Maybe both. I stared at the plastic sword in my hand for a moment and started to realise a weird perspective. I couldn’t use this plastic sword very well, as it would seem, to stab food, but put my katana in my hand and a walker in front of me and I wouldn’t have a problem. The world had flipped things backwards, in a previous reality it would have been the other way around. 

“You packing different steel nowadays?” Abraham’s voice suddenly announces, bringing me back from my thoughts, and making me chuckle lightly as I turned to my side to look at him. “Yeah. It would seem so.” I reply, before looking back to my plate and putting the sword poker down.

“Live by it, you die by it-- and eat potato puffs by it.” He jokes lightly, chuckling to himself and making me smile as I started to feed Judith some of the food, using my fingers rather than the poker. “Pray to god you don’t have to use it again. Pray to god you don’t get used to not using it again.” Abraham continues, and although what he says makes sense and resonates a little, I can’t help but notice that he seems slightly tipsy, perhaps. “It’s on your back-- even when it’s off your back.” He adds. “Hmm.” He mumbles, smiling out and nodding at his own words as I turn to face him.

“How much have you had to drink?” I question amused. 

We both laugh. “I am a large man. And I have had many beers to make up for that.” Abraham defends.

“Uh-uh.” I reply with a smirk. 

“And you know what? By that brave act, I have-- I have come to realise that things have worked out pretty damn well for me.” Abraham happily states. “How about you?” He asks.

“Yeah. --Me too.” I reply, looking out. Even though we were still feeling the place out, we had been lucky to find it, or for Aaron to find us. And even after everything we’d lost, I found I was happy. I had Daryl, and our family, and now a stable chance at a life with them. We all just had to see it through. 

A light suddenly sounds from behind, making Abraham and I look back to see Jessie standing in the open doorway. “Hey, um, Rick wanted me to come get you. Deanna’s wanting to start introducing people to you both.” Jessie announces.

I sigh a little. “I’m coming.” I say in response and she heads back inside as I look back at Abraham. “Alright, big man. Duty calls.” I lightly joke before heading to the door. 

“Make sure you drink some more, for me.” I tease with smile in the doorway. “You got it, officer.” He replies with a wink, holding his beer bottle up at me. I roll my eyes as I chuckle going into the door at him.

Coming back inside, I scan the room for Rick and see him with Deanna and an older couple. I smile as he suddenly clocks me and I can see him slyly ogling me to get over there, but Deanna then calls me right over. “Oh, Y/N, over here.” She calls, waving me over. I sigh and start approaching them.

“Y/N, this is Mr and Mrs. Miller.” Deanna introduces and adjusting my grip on Jusith again, I shake their hands. “Please, call us Bob and Natalie.” The elderly gentleman says, and I smile in response. 

“So, Deanna tells us you’re our other constable.” Bob states and I nod. “Quite a task for you take on in your condition, it’s mighty admirable.” Natalie points out before I can reply to Bob. I glance at Rick briefly, in hidden annoyance again. Quite a task? This was nothing compared to what we’d all done and been through out there. Pregnant or not.

“I guess.” I vaguely reply with a slightly forced smile as Judith coos at my arms. 

“This little one sure is precious.” Natalie chimes, reaching out and gently holding Judith’s hand. “This is Judith.” Deanna informs.

“Beautiful name, for a beautiful girl.” Bob charms.

“Have you two thought of any names for your next child?” Natalie gleams, and Rick suddenly chokes on his drink hearing her words, making me stifle a laugh as hard as I could at his reaction. I wasn’t expecting for her to say that, but I really wasn’t expecting the reaction from Rick. It was quite entertaining to be honest. 

“Rick and Y/N aren’t an item, Natalie.” Deanna informs smiling, also clearly entertained, as Rick and I share an amused look between us. 

“Judith is Rick’s daughter, but I’m not her mother. And Rick isn’t my baby’s father either.” I explain through my smile. 

“We are family though, and we’re close. But, we’re not that close.” Rick adds through his smile in turn.

“So, where are your significant others?” Bob asks, and I glance slightly at Rick and see his smile has faded, as had mine. 

“My wife didn’t make it through her delivery.” Rick announces, and I was a little shocked he replied. I was ready to answer for him. Lori hadn’t been mentioned since back during the start of the prison, but he clearly had a handle on it now.

“I’m sorry to hear that, son.” Bob consoles.

There’s a brief pause until Natalie speaks up again. “And what of your partner? Is he still with us?” she asks me, a little cautiously, I supposed in case I’d lost mine as well.

“He’s still with us, yes.” I answer, feeling a little weird saying it.

“Where is Daryl? I haven’t seen him come in yet.” Deanna questions scanning around quickly.

“I wouldn’t count on it. This isn’t really his scene.” I explain.

“Is this your first child?” Natalie asks, and it makes me freeze up a little. “For you and your partner?” she quickly adds, probably reading my brief freeze as confusion rather than being lost for words.

“Yes.” I simply answer. It was the truth. It was my first child with Daryl, just not my first ever child, and I didn’t need to get into that with these people. I didn’t want my life history being broadcast.

“You know, we had five kids, twelve grand kids.” Bob announces, a sense of pride in his voice, along with a hint of sadness that lingered. ‘Had’ clearly being the key word in that. “So if either of you ever want any help looking after the precious things, we’d be happy to take them off your hands.” Natalie offers, bringing the happy tone back up in response, as she let Judith wrap her hand around her finger. Standing there, engaging in all this small talk, I started to see this was going to be, or at least feel like, a long party.


	22. twenty two

Deanna had pretty much introduced Rick and I to everyone, mentioning about us being the ‘constables’ of the place as we chatted back and forth with the people of Alexandria. It really had been small talk and the conversations almost always felt tedious and unnecessary, but it was what Deanna wanted, I just had to suck it up. So after speaking to the people, and I was sure we’d spoken to everyone in the room; it certainly felt like it, I was ready to go.

“Surely that’s gotta be everyone, right? Then we’ll be free.” I quietly point out to Rick between the two of us, joking a little, as Deanna finishes up a conversation with the woman we’d just been engaging with. “I hope so.” Rick whispers.

The woman walks off and Deanna regains her attention back onto us. “I want to thank you two for bearing with all the conversations. The people like you.” Deanna thanks and we both smile in return. “So, I bet you think you’re off the hook, right?” She suddenly chimes, making my smile fade. I didn’t think I could take much more. “There’s just one more couple I want you to meet and then you’re done. You can talk to whoever you want after that, or just eat and drink, or go home and sleep. I don’t mind.” Deanna chuckles to herself.

“Alright, then.” Rick urges and Deanna turns around and moves through the room. 

“This better be the last one, or Deanna’s gonna hear more than small talk from me.” I say to Rick, making him laugh. 

I look to my shoulder at Judith sleeping with her head against it, and smile at her peaceful state even if I was getting slightly envious of her.

“Okay, she’s coming back.” Rick announces, making me look back up in Deanna’s direction. Then, as I look from Deanna to the couple walking just to her side behind, I suddenly am hit with the realisation of who they were. My face drops at seeing the couple. They’d aged but they weren’t faces I’d ever forget. I started to feel my whole body go weak and my breathing start to escalate as I watched my mother and her husband come towards me with Deanna. This was my abusive mother and her even worse husband coming at me. I hadn’t seen them since I was fourteen and I’d stabbed myself, which was when they had left me at the hospital, and I’d woken up alone. Not seeing them again, not until right now, as I watched them come towards us. I felt frozen, and unsure what to do with myself, but I knew I had to get away.

“Rick, take Judith, please.” I order more than ask, and even I could hear the panic in my voice as I said it, turning my body to face in front of his. 

“You alright?” Rick asks concerningly, hearing the panic in my voice too, as he carefully takes Judith from me.

“That’s what you worry about!” Sasha suddenly shouts before I can answer, making everyone in the room look her way, stopping all conversations, and also Deanna with my mother and her husband.

Without even giving Rick a response, and not even thinking about why Sasha just shouted or what it was about, I couldn’t think about anything else right now, I took the opportunity to leave. I immediately turn and rush towards the door, not wasting a second to leave. As I come down the porch and into the road of the street, I can feel myself hyperventilating, and then feel a few tears start to fall down my cheeks through my heavy breathing. I bend forward slightly, resting my hands against my thighs as I try and compose myself, to no avail, I just kept getting worse. I was twenty nine, so it had been fifteen years since seeing them both, and they were getting this reaction from me. It just made me realise that had never really dealt with the pain of my past, I just pushed it down and tried to forget. But in one single moment, it had all been brought back and I couldn’t stop myself from having a breakdown.

-

Daryl thought about what Aaron had said out in the woods. How if he let the people get to know him, they wouldn’t be so scared or wary of him, how he should go to the party at Deanna’s. He knew everyone else was there, including Y/N. Initially reluctant at the idea, Daryl stayed in the comfort of his own space in the house, but after a while he suddenly felt the urge to at least suss it out. 

After walking down the streets to Deanna’s house, he stood outside leaning against one of the trees on the pavement. Looking up at the windows, the blinds were drawn but the light from inside was illuminating the figures of the people by them, and he could hear the faints sounds of people conversing and chatting inside as well as quiet music. Staring up at the house for a while, he changes his mind, deciding it wasn’t for him. The people in there, they’d only look at him like he didn’t belong, and he couldn’t be bothered with it all. So, he pushed himself from the tree and started walking back up the street to head back for the house. But as he passed a couple houses, the porch light suddenly came on from the second house he passed and the front door opened, making him stop to look.

“Daryl. Hey.” Aaron calls as he comes out the front door onto the porch.

“Thought you were goin’ to that party over there.” Daryl points out, pointing back over to Deanna’s house a couple houses down. 

“Oh, I was never going to go ‘cause of Eric’s ankle, thank god.” Eric announces, with a slight chuckle. 

“Why the hell did ya tell me to go, then?” Daryl questions.

“I said try. You did. It’s a thought that counts thing.” Eric points out with a smile.

“Alright.” Daryl plainly replies, turning to continue leaving.

“Hey, come in. Have some dinner.” Aaron offers, stopping Daryl, who turns back to him but doesn’t respond, looking plainly at him. “Come on, man. It’s some pretty serious spaghetti.” Aaron warmly urges. Daryl still stands there for a brief moment, silent as he thinks about it, when he suddenly hears someone come out onto the street ahead, seemingly hyperventilating. 

-

As I stood in the street, I started to pace on the road through my heavy breathing and cries that were now coming, when I suddenly heard a familiar voice.

“Y/N?” Daryl calls from ahead on the road in the darkness of the night, and I can’t see him much, but I see his figure illuminated by the lights of the house he was stood outside. 

Knowing he was there, I started to break out into a jog, going as fast as I could in the dress as I also started to break out into sobs. As I came up rushing towards him, he paced up to meet me. I almost throw myself at him when I come into his embrace. Wrapping my arms tightly around him as I cried into his shoulder, still breathing heavy and shaking as I felt him hold my back and head in comfort.

“The hell happened?” Daryl questions worryingly and I pull myself from his shoulder. 

“I- I, um-- I--- they--- they’re in---,” I stutter through my breathing and sniffling. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Breathe.” Daryl comforts, but I still shake and can’t catch my breath.

“Daryl, bring her inside. She shouldn’t be out here like that, come on.” I hear Aaron call from the porch of the lit up house in front.

“Alright, come on.” Daryl softly urges, keeping his arm wrapped around me as he leads me up towards Aaron’s house, while I kept firmly clung to him.

Daryl and Aaron led me through into a dining room, where Eric was, and I could register them all talking to each other as we came in, but I wasn’t making it out. I was still so shook up, and I wasn’t concentrating on what they were saying, I was trying to concentrate on composing myself. I’d stopped crying as I was sat down at the dining table but was still breathing heavy. Looking at the table, where my hands where resting, I could see I was shaking even through my clenched fists.

“What’s the matter with her? She’s shaking.” I hear Eric say.

“She ever been like this before?” Aaron asks.

“Once. She lost someone.” Daryl answers.

“Well, surely no one’s died.” Eric points out.

“What do you think happened?” Aaron questions.

“Don’t know. But it ain’t good.” Daryl states.

Hearing them talk started to bring my breathing down, and I watched as I unclenched my fists. My breathes were still rising and falling excessively, but I had calmed down since being on the street. Looking up ahead, I saw Eric sat at the table through a blurred vision and realised I hadn’t stopped crying, tears were still spilling but silently. I blinked to let the remaining tears fall as I sniffled and wiped at my nose while turning to my side and seeing Aaron stood there, looking curiously concerned. I turned to my other side and was faced by a seriously worried Daryl sat at my side.

“Hey, you’re alright. Just breathe. I’m right here.” Daryl comforts as he takes both my hands, trying to soothe my breathing and lingering shakes. I pull him into a hug, holding him closer to me, letting the comfort of him bring me back down as I melted and moulded myself into him. I was exceptionally grateful in that moment to have him by my side; I didn’t know how I would have calmed myself if I did not have Daryl with me how I did now.

After what feels like a long while, but still not long enough for me, Daryl gently pulls me back into straight sit, staring straight at me. My breathing had now calmed, and my shakes were gone, now were gonna come all the questions.

“You gonna tell me what the hell happened?” He gently asks.

I take in a big breathe, letting out a lengthy exhale, as a final steady for my breathing. 

“My mom-- and her husband.” I announce, wiping my eyes and cheeks as I sniffle and then wipe at my nose. “My mom and her husband.” I continue. “They’re here.”

“The hell?” Daryl quietly exclaims. “You mean the ones who--,” he starts, and I nod in confirmation. “I saw them at the party, and I- I just-- froze.” I announce. “But, then I left-- quickly-- before they came over. ‘Cause I could feel myself losing it.” I explain. 

“So your parents are here?” Eric questions, making me look over at him. “They’re not my parents.” I snap harshly, and instantly regret it, seeing his slightly startled expression. 

“Sorry.” I apologise softly, correcting myself. 

“It’s fine, no need to be. I think I get it.” Eric assures, with a pitying smile.

“When did you see them last?” Aaron asks.

I sigh, seeing we were now divulging into the past in explanation for the current situation. “I was fourteen.” I answer, and for a moment no one says anything.

I look between Aaron and Eric and find them just looking at me in slight pity. “Aren’t you gonna ask why?” I question curiously; anyone I ever mentioned it to always would.

“We don’t need to go into it. I think we get the general idea.” Aaron says tenderly, which I appreciated greatly.

“What are their names?” Eric asks as Aaron finally takes a seat at the table.

I pause briefly before answering. “Hayley. And Richard.” I reply, and saying their names aloud felt sour in my mouth. I see Aaron and Eric glance at each other for a brief moment, but it was unmissable.

“What? Not who you expected?” I question, catching their exchanged look.

“Well-- I wasn’t sure who to think. But now you’ve said it, I can see it.” Aaron replies.

“They’re somewhat of an acquired taste those two.” Eric announces.

“That ain’t hard to believe.” Daryl chimes.

“How so?” I question, wondering if anyone perhaps saw the cruelty within them both as I had seen and felt first-hand. 

“They’ve made comments about Aaron and me before. Now and then. Seemingly and ignorantly harmless ones, like a few others. But, now you’ve mentioned-- well, I can see that perhaps it’s not so harmless.” Eric explains. 

“I’m sorry.” I say. You’d think with the end of the world, people would care less about who people were with. 

“I think you, of all people, Y/N- know you’ve got nothing to be sorry for here.” Aaron states, with a comforting smile, making me manage to give a weak one back.

There’s a momentary silence, which then prompts Aaron to rise from the table. “Well, like I said to Daryl- we’ve got some pretty serious spaghetti going on here. And you two are going to help us eat it.” Aaron announces, his tone becoming more uplifting in his efforts to lighten the mood as he walks over into the kitchen. 

I turn to Daryl, waiting for dismissal or protest at the offer, but he just looks back at me with a slight arch of a smile. “Ya hungry?” he asks, making a small smile appear on my face; he was adjusting. He was letting people see him, letting them in. after the party, and what just happened, it was small, but it was a happy sight to see.

“Stupid question.” I reply softly. 

Daryl scoffs in amusement. “Yeah.” He mutters as he leans and plants a kiss on my forehead.

“Alright, let’s eat.” Eric almost cheers, rubbing his hands together, as I peck Daryl back but on the lips in turn. 

“Hey, Y/N. Would you mind coming here a sec?” Aaron coolly calls from over in the kitchen.

I push up from the table, and head over to Aaron curiously as he was plating the food, coming to his side. “Hey, I just wanted to tell you something.” Aaron quietly announces between us. “What?” I ask, now a little concerned as to what.

“Well, I can see that whatever happened to you was deep and traumatic.” Aaron begins, making my face drop a little, coming back to the topic. “I can understand that you would perhaps want to get away from it from time to time now that you’re here and they are too. So-- I have a way you can do that if you ever need.” He continues. 

“Aaron- there’s gates. I can walk in and out whenever I want.” I point out, a little confused as to what exactly he was getting at. 

“Not undetected you can’t.” Aaron whispers, making me raise an eyebrow in question. “I’m just saying, if you ever feel like you need to get out, or away from it all, and you want to leave discreetly, without question or knowing. Then I have another way out.” Aaron explains. 

“Where?” I ask.

“The sewer system. It leads right out to an exit outside the walls. And the people don’t know about it.” Aaron announces. “So-- as I said. If you ever need a way out, I’d be happy to show you. Just promise me if you do, you tell me. Then someone will know you’re out there.” He adds with a smile. His offer was a small one, but it felt big to me. I felt very appreciative of Aaron in this moment. He was giving me an outlet if I ever needed one. He was kind, and someone I knew I could trust in this place. So, I hugged him. “Thank you.” I whisper at his shoulder. “No problem.” He whispers back.

“Hey, it’s rude to make a cripple wait for his food.” Eric calls jokingly from the dining table, making us break our hold on each other. 

“Okay, we’re coming.” Aaron calls back with an eye roll as he hands me a couple plates and we both walk back over.

I sit back down next to Daryl, putting the plates down in front of us. “What was that about?” Daryl asks quietly between us as Aaron sits down with Eric opposite.

“Nothing. Just a kind gesture.” I answer.

Daryl looks slightly curious but quickly dismisses it. “Alright.” He shrugs as he grabs his fork.

“Bon Appetit.” Eric smiles as he goes to dig into his plate. 

As the four of us ate, Eric told stories about Aaron and him, before and now, when it went quiet. Which was essentially took up the whole dinner. He had really been the only one speaking. He would tell one story, then after a moment as it went quiet, start telling another. It might have seemed annoying once, but now, I just enjoyed listening.

After a while, when Daryl and I had nearly finished our food, I noticed that we had pretty much inhaled our food compared to the other two. I had eaten the spaghetti just as Aaron and Eric had with our spoons and forks, but clearly at a faster pace. Whereas Daryl had just slurped up most of it and rather quickly with his fork. As Daryl shoved in his last couple mouthfuls, he rather loudly slurped the spaghetti dangling from his mouth. I glanced at Daryl next to me as he slurped one of his last mouthfuls and smiled slightly when I noticed Aaron and Eric share an amused look between them. It was just Daryl, but I could see how it was comical. 

On his last mouthful, after slurping that one in too, Daryl grunts in satisfaction. “Thanks.” He says before wiping at his mouth with his sleeve.

“Mm, when you’re out there-,” Eric starts, as he finishes his mouthful and Daryl wipes what’s left at his mouth with his napkin. “-if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs. Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker.” Eric announces suddenly to Daryl, making both of us look at him curiously. Why would Daryl be going in any stores? And if he was, I think a damn pasta maker wouldn’t be much of a priority. “We’re all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something. I really think she just wants something to talk about.” Eric rambles, and Daryl and I glance at each other plainly as we listen to him talk, and I notice Aaron doesn’t look so impressed. “So-- if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to--,” Eric continues until he looks at Aaron, who was staring at him, now with his eyebrows raised. I got that the pasta maker thing was slightly annoying, but it wasn’t that bad. Something else was clearly being referenced.

“I thought it was done. You didn’t ask him already?” Eric questions Aaron, who shakes his head.

“Ask me what?” Daryl probes.

Aaron sighs. “Well-- you two have finished your plates.” Aaron replies as he pushes up from the table. “I’ll just show you.” He announces.

Aaron led Daryl, with me behind, into the garage connected to the house, just like ours was. When he switched the lights on, it was filled with bike parts and what looked like a covered up bike under a sheet. Daryl walked down and into the room, looking around as Aaron stood below steps and I leant against the door frame watching.

“When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them.” Aaron announces.

“It’s a lot of parts for one bike.” Daryl points out.

Aaron scoffs amused. “Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn’t know what I’d need. I always thought I’d learn how to do it, but- I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is-- you’re going to need a bike.” Aaron explains, as Daryl continued looking around, but turns back to face him at his last words.

“Why?” he questions.

“I told Deanna not to give you a job, because I think I have one for you.” Aaron states. “I’d like you to be Alexandria’s other recruiter.” He announces. “I don’t want Eric risking his life anymore.”

“You want me riskin’ mine, right?” Daryl retorts.

“Yeah, because you know what you’re doing.” Aaron declares. “You’re good out there. But you don’t belong out there. I know it’s hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I.” Aaron continues, before he turns around to face me. 

“And you, too.” He adds. 

“Actually, I wanted both of you as recruiters. But when I asked Deanna, she told me she wanted you for something else. Which we now know what that is.” He states and turns back to Daryl. 

“But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person.” Aaron finishes. 

Daryl stands there for a moment, taking in Aaron’s words. Chewing the inside of his lip, I could see Daryl thinking just before he nods ever so slightly. “I got nothin’ else to do.” He points out. “Thanks.” He adds. 

Aaron smiles smally, as do I. “Yeah.” He nods. 

“I’ll get you some rabbits.” Daryl softly jokes, a hint of a smile on his face, making Aaron laugh, and me smile. “Great.” Aaron says.

A short silence passes before I think aloud. “So-- what was the reason you wanted me?” I ask Aaron.

“Well, the same reason partly. You know the good from the bad.” Aaron answers.

“How you think that?” I question.

“Well, you didn’t skewer me when I came up to you and Maggie at the barn.” Aaron announces, poking fun and getting an amused scoff from me. 

“You saw I wasn’t a threat. And you went against Rick’s impression. --And was right. You saw that I was one of the good guys.” He explains. “And I got the impression that you knew the difference.” He adds, and I nod in acknowledgement.

“That, and something else-- before I announced myself, when I was listening to you, I heard you say something that stayed with me. When you were all walking along, and Daryl refused the bottle of water.” Aaron points out.

“What was it?” I ask, not recalling what it could be.

“We can make it together. But we can only make it together.” Aaron quotes. “You were the tipping point that made me see you were good guys. Survivors.” Aaron announces.

-

After Sasha’s outburst, Maggie and Glenn had brought her over to a corner away from everybody to ease and calm her, and people had quickly resumed their chatting and conversations and the evening proceeded as normal. But even after Rick met the last couple and then mingled around the party, Rick was still unsure and slightly concerned as to why Y/N had suddenly run off. He wanted to go see if she was alright, but figured she may need a moment alone, and if Daryl was home she’d be with him anyway.

Rick was stood alone, leant against the wall with his own thoughts when he heard the front door open, and looked to see who was coming in. Several people had left already and wondered who was coming back in. He briefly hoped it was Y/N so he could ask her what that was all about earlier, but it was Carol. As she stepped into the living room, she scanned around and finally clocked Rick. She nodded at him, and with that he knew she’d done it. She’d got into the armoury and got a bag of guns. He nods back at her in acknowledgement and she then immerses herself back into the remaining fill of people.

“It’s been a long time since I held one of these.” Jessie announces, coming up to Rick’s side with Judith in her arms, smiling as she coos. 

“She and Carl-- they’re why I’m still here.” Rick points out. “And I get what you’ve been telling me when we’ve talked.” He adds.

“What’s that?” Jessie asks.

“Here isn’t that bad.” Rick answers.

Jessie gives him a comforting smile as Judith starts to fuss.

“Do you want to take her?” Jessie urges with a smile.

“Yeah.” Rick smiles back, putting his drink down. As he steps forward, closely to Jessie, he takes Judith back into his own arms at his side but doesn’t move from being so close to Jessie as they both stare at each other briefly. He then plants a kiss on her cheek, lingering just slightly as he does it, before pulling back away. Jessie initially looks a little shocked, but soon smiles at him as she steps back, making Rick smile back at her before she turns and walks away somewhere else amongst the party.

-

Leant against the steel wall, in the corner by the gate, Sasha waits for Deanna to bring her rifle and bullets that she always signed out every morning. When she’d got to the armoury this morning, her rifle wasn’t there, and Olivia told her that Deanna had them and was going to bring them over to her. So, at the gate, that’s where she waited. And she didn’t wait too long for Deanna to come up to her.

Deanna plants herself in front of Sasha and stares at her, but Sasha just avoids her gaze. Sasha had been a real closed book since she arrived and had obvious hurt within her, and clear trouble adjusting to the life here. her outburst at the party last night had made that clear.

“I’m trying to figure out what it is. What it is exactly.” Deanna announces, making Sasha finally look to her, before she looks back at the place.

“This--,” Sasha starts as she looks out at the entrance of Alexandria and then looks back at Deanna. “It isn’t real.” She declares, before taking her rifle from Deanna.

“Sasha, you’ve been through a lot and I accept that, but what you just said-- that’s bullshit.” Deanna states. She then hands Sasha the box of bullets and turns to open the gate. Sasha then leaves, walking out and Deanna closes the gate behind her as she watches Sasha walk away.

-

Carol takes out a couple guns from her bag, the one full of the guns she stole from the armoury like Rick, Daryl and her had planned and she had done so last night during the party. “Take your pick.” Carol says to them both, holding out the guns in her hand as the three of them stand around outside the derelict cabin again.

“Look, I’ve been thinkin’. Do we really need these?” Daryl questions, pointing at the guns, making Carol and Rick glance at each other in question before looking back to Daryl. “I mean, if things go bad, yeah, sure. We do what we gotta do but, it’s like ya said. We don’t need these for that.” Daryl continues. 

“Right now we don’t.” Carol points out.

“You wanted me to try, right? I’m good.” Daryl states.

Carol looks to Rick, still holding the couple guns out, and steps forward. He hovers his hand over one of the guns, slightly hesitant for a second but soon dismisses it and takes one from Carol. He puts it in the back of his jeans, covered by his jacket so no one can see it.

“Alright, let’s head back.” He says.

-

Waking up the next morning, after spending the remaining of the previous night with Aaron and Eric with Daryl, I woke up feeling slightly rejuvenated. But when I woke up alone, with Daryl no where in sight, my mind wondered. And I wondered how long I’d feel like that until the inevitability of what happened last night caught up to me. Rick would want to know, and more annoyingly, Deanna would want to know depending on what Rick told her. But I tried to forget about that and bring myself to start the day.

When I’d put the police jacket on, I decided that carrying around my katana just didn’t fit, and I didn’t need it. I thought back to what Abraham had said last night, slightly intoxicated as he was, it resonated slightly. The idea of not using it again meant we had a secure home. That we weren’t fighting to survive. But I couldn’t get used to not using it. I shouldn’t forget. So, I decided to put it somewhere, so it was always a reminder. 

I laid the hammer on the mantle of fireplace, having just hammered nails into a space in the wall above it and under a large painting. Picking my katana up, I unsheathed it and laid the case along the two lower nails before then laying the sword along the above two nails, perfectly balancing it. I look on at it with a sigh. I was looking at something I had carried with me since the start, one of things that was so familiar to me in all this. It was my weapon, and yet, even though it had protected me through the years, it had also brought me pain at another’s hands. The Governor’s. What he did to me, and then what he did to Hershel. The weapon had its own history. Now, I was laying down just as I had found it when I took it off Doc’s wall at the start of all this. And that is how I knew I was trying, that I was trying at this new life, but never forgetting what came before it.


	23. twenty three

When I had walked outside, and around Alexandria, trying to find Daryl or Rick, I eventually saw both of them when I came onto the street with the gates up ahead, coming back through them with Carol. All three of them split off in different directions, with Rick soon clocking me up ahead and we come to each other’s side. 

“Ready to patrol, officer? What, no sword?” Rick teases as I join in walking by his side, now going back up the way I came.

“I told you, I look ridiculous enough without it.” I playfully retort.

There’s a brief pause between us, and I can tell the obvious questions are lingering in the air as we walk.

“So, you gonna tell me why you ran off last night?” Rick questions. There it was.

“Well, are you gonna tell me what you’re doing going outside the walls?” I follow up.

“What are you talking about?” Rick asks.

“You, Daryl and Carol. You can’t still be scoping out the area. What are you doing out there?” I elaborate.

Rick scoffs as if amused. “You’re thinking too much into it. We’re not doing anything. It’s nothing.” He declares. “But you running off like that at the party-- that wasn’t nothing.” He continues.

I wasn’t sure if I believed him or not, but I could see pushing the matter wouldn’t get anywhere. Although, I knew Rick would want to know about last night, if he had to interrogate it out of me.

“What did you tell Deanna?” I query.

“I said you felt sick all of a sudden and went home.” Rick answers.

“If I said you were right, would you believe me?” I ask, looking at Rick, and he just gives me an unconvinced look with his eyebrows raised.

I sigh as I stop walking, making Rick stop with me as we turn to face each other. “That last couple Deanna was bringing over-- that was my-- my mother and her husband.” I announce. 

“Wait, what?” Rick says, looking a little stunned. “Aren’t they the ones who abused you?” He questions.

“Yeah. Among other things.” I resentfully confirm as I resume walking, prompting Rick to also. 

A momentary silence falls over us as we walk. “So what are you gonna do?” Rick asks after a moment. 

“They’re here. And now so am I. I don’t like it, not one bit. But that’s about all I can do about it. Nothing. It’s not like Deanna’s gonna exile them on my request or anything.” I point out.

“Something ought to be done about it.” Rick states.

“What are we gonna do? Hold them accountable and punish them for their actions 15 years ago. I don’t see Deanna getting on board with that. And believe me, I’d like nothing more than to run my sword through them. But I also don’t see Deanna taking that lightly. As far as I’m concerned, I’m just gonna have to get used to seeing them around.” I explain.

“You shouldn’t have to.” Rick declares. “And the people here, including Deanna, should know who exactly they’re living with. I mean, there’s kids here. I have kids here, and you will too soon.” He continues. “You really think people will be comfortable having them here?” he adds.

“You really think Deanna will actually do anything about it?” I sceptically point out. 

“If everyone causes enough uproar about it.” Rick replies.

“Doubtful.” I state.

“Don’t you want them gone?” Rick questions.

“Of course. But I’m being realistic.” I retort. “The people have known them since this all started most likely. And they’ve known us a few days. I mean, I don’t know about you, but most of them I only met last night. Who do you think they’re going to believe?” I explain.

“Y/N, you’ve got the scars to prove it.” Rick gently says.

“I’m not an artefact, Rick. I’m not gonna showcase my body to these people, that I barely know, like its evidence.” I calmly counter. “Besides-- we’re already spectacles in this place, I’d rather not be talk of the town. If I just keep my head down and avoid them, I’m sure I’ll get used to seeing them around eventually.” I point out.

“If you believe that-- you’re lying to yourself. We both know, after what you went through, that’s not gonna happen.” Rick tenderly declares, although it still stung a little.

“Jeez. Don’t hold back, Grimes.” I deflatingly jab.

“Sorry. I tried not to make it sound brutal.” Rick defends as we turn the corner at the end of the street.

“It’s fine.” I assure. “Anyway, you’re right.” I add, hanging my head a little.

Rick suddenly nudges me and stops us both. I look up at him questioningly and he nods in the direction ahead of us. Turning to look up front, I see Deanna waving and approaching us, accompanied by, of course, the exact two people I didn’t want to see. Deanna was leading them down the street, a smile on her face as she was headed right for Rick and I. She probably wanted to introduce them to me as she didn’t get to last night.

“You don’t have to, you know. You can just walk away.” Rick quietly points out between us as they get closer and closer to where we were stood.

“I know. I could.” I start. “But Deanna will only follow. Or she’ll bring them to the house.” I dismiss. “If I do this now, I wont have to do it again.”

“You sure?” Rick asks as they near us.

I sigh. “Nope.” I state. “Just promise you’ll stay at my side.” I say quietly.

“Of course.” Rick whispers comfortingly as the three of them walk up to us.

“Good morning, constables.” Deanna greets with a smile, and I force one back to her, actively trying to avoid looking at my mother and her husband at her side.

“Morning.” Rick replies, but I don’t force any words out, I was concentrating on forcing my smile still.

“Hope you enjoyed the party last night. It’s safe to say you were a hit with everyone.” Deanna gleams, with a chuckle.

She then diverts her attention directly to me. “Rick said you felt nauseous all a sudden last night; that’s why you left. I trust you’re feeling better, you look well.” Deanna states.

“Yeah, I- I’m fine.” I simply reply, holding my slight forced smile.

“Well, I remember how that goes.” Deanna smiles.

“Anyway-- I just wanted to introduce the people you missed out on, on account of your nausea.” Deanna starts, changing the subject. “This is Hayley and Richard.” She introduces, looking between them and me. 

I couldn’t avoid looking at them now, and when Deanna said their names I turned my head and looked directly at them. And I just froze. The initial shock I had clearly got out of my system last night as I kept calm, but I was quiet and felt frozen as I looked at their faces right in front of me. They, on the other hand, looked completely unfazed, like they were meeting me for the first time or something.

“Nice to meet you finally.” Richard greets.

“And may I say congratulations. You’re positively glowing.” Hayley comments. 

Saying I was shocked was an understatement. Hearing their voices had sent uncomfortable shivers through me, especially Richard’s, but what I was finding strange was their positive reception. Either they were putting on an act, or they didn’t recognise me, and I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing, either way. All of it was suddenly making an anger start to burn within me.

I realise I had been just standing looking at them, a little stunned, and saying nothing in reply, but my mind couldn’t process a response as I stared at them, trying to conceal my growing anger. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Deanna asks, making me realise perhaps I wasn’t concealing my emotions as well as I thought. But what I register more over Deanna, is the expression dropping from Hayley and Richard’s faces after she says my name. I was watching the realisation wash over them, in a second of a moment, as they clicked at who I was and finally recognised me. They stared at me blankly, speechless as I continued to stare back, now not caring if my emotions were fully visible. 

“Y/N?” Hayley mutters, stun in her expression as she stares into my eyes.

“Do you all know each other?” Deanna questions.

“She’s-- shes’s- my daugh-,” Hayley answers, but I cut her off. “Don’t!” I snap. 

“Don’t-- call me that.” I spit. “You don’t ever get to call me that.” I add.

She looks almost hurt by my words, but it just fuels my anger even more. “Y- you look- so--,” she stutters.

“Different? Yeah, that tends to happen when you’re a kid and you age 15 years.” I blurt.

“Grown up.” She finishes.

I stood there for a second, taking in her words. She was being so calm yet so sad in her voice, if she was starting to feel regret, or remorse, or any kind of emotion, it didn’t matter. Not to me. “Grown up? That sounds a bit rich coming from you, seeing as you weren’t there to watch that. You just left me on the sidewalk- but you know what-- I’m so fucking glad you did.” I ramble angrily.

“So am I.” She states sombrely.

“So am I? So am I? How ca--,” I start to blurt.

“If we hadn’t have brought you to the hospital, you would have died for sure.” Richard interjects. 

“No!” I exclaim, shooting him a glare. “You don’t get to talk.” I spit. 

I look between the two of them as I can feel the rage brewing inside. “The only reason I ended up there, was because you both forced my hand.” I scowl. 

“We didn’t put the knife in your hand.” Richard points out.

I laugh in astonishment. “Oh my god.” I mutter. “I was fourteen! And you had got me pregnant! I didn’t know what the hell else to do!” I yell. “Oh my.” I hear Deanna mumble quietly to herself as I stare at Hayley and Richard’s faces dropping a little again. So, their dirty secret was out. To be honest, I had forgotten Deanna and Rick were even there.

There was a momentary silence as I just continued staring at the two of them in complete disgust.

“I think this is perhaps a discussion best had inside.” Deanna tries to calm and makes me break my stare. I glance around us and see there is a small and scattered gathering of onlookers, probably stopping when I yelled. 

“There’s no discussion to be had. I don’t need to hear anything they have to say. They’re nothing to me.” I scorn before I turn around and start marching away.

“Did it survive?” Hayley calls after I take a few steps, stopping me instantly on the spot at hearing her words. “The baby? Did it survive?” She repeats, and I can hear a tang of hurt in her voice, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling. I couldn’t believe she was asking. 

Swiftly I turn and stride back towards them with emotional rage. “You don’t get to ask about Sophia!” I exclaim, and as soon as I say her name I regret it. They didn’t deserve to know, but I blurted it as I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes.

“Sophia? So she- she did? Is- is she here?” Hayley mumbles. 

I feel a couple angered tears fall down my cheeks. “I was the only family she had. I devoted myself to her. And I did what you never could-- never did-- I loved her. I cared for her. I was a mother to her. I watched her grow. --But just like everyone else- she was taken from me too.” I start. “If she were here-- if she were alive-- do you really think I’d let you meet her?” I spit. “Let him- meet her.” I scorn.

No one says a word. And they both stand there, words not forming a response. 

“Stay the hell away from--,” I start to scowl, but my whole expression and words drop at what I was now suddenly feeling. I glance down and notice a subtle, slowly growing patch of wetness emanating from my crotch on my jeans. “Rick.” I mutter, looking up at him, seeing his mix of concern and pity in his face from the confrontation I was in the middle of, and one I had now abruptly stopped. “I think my water just broke.” I announce, looking at him in stun as his expression now mirrored mine.

“Rick get her to the infirmary, now. I’ll get Pete, he’ll meet you there.” Deanna orders before Rick can even muster a reply to my announcement. Holy shit. It was happening.

“It’s really picked it’s moment.” I state as Rick supports me as we start rushing away together. 

“Well, it was one way to get out of that I suppose.” Rick lightly jokes. 

I scoff, unimpressed, but amusingly so, by his remark. “Real funny, Grimes. But I don’t think now’s the time.” I retort. “Where’s Daryl?” I question.

“Aaron’s. Said something about a bike.” Rick informs. 

“Get him. I’ll be fine. I can get there, we’re close enough.” I assure.

“You sure?” Rick asks.

“Yes. Go.” I reply, and with a nod he proceeds to run off as I continue walking myself to the infirmary. 

Not a moment sooner, I felt someone at my side, taking up supporting me in place of Rick as I walked. “I got you.” Maggie announces, as I look to see her pitying smile. “Thank you.” I whisper as we walked together. 

“You okay?” Maggie asks. “Besides your water breaking.” She adds. So she saw. I wondered who else from the group was watching. 

I glance back and see Hayley and Richard standing where we left them, staring yet seemingly looking lost at what to do with themselves, as we walked away.

“I don’t know. --I’ll guess we’ll see.” I state, turning back.


	24. twenty four

“I can see the head. I’m gonna need you to push a little harder, Y/N.” Pete encourages. 

I’d been in labour for several agonising hours before it was finally time, and I could see why women wanted the drugs. If I had the option, I would have taken them without a second glance. Pete was constantly checking on me through the hours, but he was also accompanied by a younger woman helping him, Denise. He had initially dprotested having her here when Deanna brought her but she had insisted Pete needed help. Denise had medical experience apparently, but she looked completely unsure of herself and carried herself like she was out of her depth. I gathered that had been why Pete had dismissed her beforehand and apparently in the past also, but now, I honestly didn’t care. Help was help. I’d take all I could get.

“That’s it, give it one big push now.” Pete urges.

Initially, quite a few people had been here as I was brought in and put on the bed in the closed off room of the infirmary. When Maggie and I had got there, we were the first ones but were soon met by Daryl and Rick storming in as Maggie helped me through into the room. Then soon after, Deanna arrived with Pete, with Daryl of course exclaiming what the hell took him so long on arrival in his slightly frantic state. News had clearly travelled fast, as a lot of the group seemed to turn up at the infirmary as Deanna returned with Denise. They were all standing around the door, several of them filling in after Deanna walked in with Denise, looking on as I started to groan in discomfort from the beginning of my contractions, while Pete and Deanna squabbled over Denise. The room felt quite comically chaotic, until Pete gave in about Denise and then asserted himself in the room, announcing everyone needed to leave and give me some privacy. 

“And we have a head. Now keep pushing, you’re nearly there. Hard parts over.” Pete announces.

Deanna had started urging the group out and into the main part of the infirmary and I could see the reluctance in some of their faces to leave. I saw it in Rick’s, Glenn’s and Carol’s, and I understood why; probably having flashing thoughts to the prison. The thought was pushed from my mind, gratefully so, when I felt Maggie peck my cheek, and tell me I had this. Her brief encouragement provided a slither of comfort and as she moved to leave, I grabbed her wrist and asked her to stay. Having a familiar female presence, a friend, along with Daryl, eased me more, seeing as a man I only met last night and didn’t know was about to help me deliver.

“You’re almost there. You’re doing great, Y/N.” Maggie praises.

Daryl appeared to be the most frantic in room, fidgeting by the bed and pacing a few steps over and over as I had started to push. Seeing and hearing me in this much pain clearly was making him uncomfortable, but after watching him for a moment, I couldn’t take his pacing. I held my hand out for him to take, in hopes he’d stop, and he did. He took my hand, and he hadn’t let go since, even if I was squeezing his hand ridiculously tight as I screamed and breathed through the pushing. 

“Okay here we go. There’s the stomach-- legs-- and- feet.” Pete narrates as I let out a huge exhale at finally finishing pushing as the baby comes out with a relieving cry.

“Congratulations. You have a baby girl.” Pete announces. A smile immediately shines across my face, along with everyone else’s. I did it. I actually did it. I look to Daryl as Denise cuts the umbilical cord, and he rests his forehead against mine.

“Ya did it.” he whispers, before pecking my lips tenderly with a kiss.

After a moment of us just holding our position, with Daryl softly stroking the back of my head and neck, Denise interrupts. “You wanna hold her?” She suddenly asks, making Daryl break away and we both look to see her standing before us, with the baby girl wrapped in her arms in a towel crying.

I nod and Denise steps forward, handing her over to me as her cries start to lessen to more of a fuss. I can’t take my eyes off of her and I’m suddenly hit with such a mixture of emotions. Love for this child. Grief at the sudden thought of Hershel, and our last conversation together about the pregnancy. Pride that I had gone through this and survived, despite my worries. Sadness that Sophia wasn’t here to meet her sister. Contentment that we had a home for her to live in. Discontent that a certain couple were here while she was now here. Gratefulness for the family that I did have around me. It was all happily overwhelming as I looked down at the face of my newborn daughter.

“So Mr. Dixon, would you like to hold your daughter?” I quietly smile, my volume being drained from the energy that had equally been drained from me. Daryl scoffs a little under his breath at the use of the nickname, and nods with a smile before he takes our daughter in his arms. His smile grows bigger as he stands holding her, glancing at me smiling back at him as he gently and slowly rocks her in his arms.

“How you feeling?” Maggie asks, making me turn to face her at my other side as she grasps my hand softly with a large smile.

“Exhausted. Uncomfortable. Drained. And it still hurts. But I couldn’t be happier.” I explain.

I watch as Maggie parts her mouth to reply but is interrupted by Pete. “Well, um, if I’m seeing this right, I don’t think you have much time to relax.” He announces, making all of us look to him as he was still sat at the end of me.

“Why? What are you talking about?” I confusingly question.

“I believe you’re gonna be pushing again in a minute. I think you’re having a second child.” Pete elaborates.

“What?” Daryl says shocked. “How do you know?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t see the placenta detaching. And from what I can tell, you’re body is still contracting, that’s why you said it still hurts. It’s getting ready for round two, you’re building up into your next surge of contractions. And by my guess, your next baby will start coming along any minute now.” Pete explains. “Denise.” Pete beckons, as if for her to get back and ready to assist as the three of us look at each other in complete shock. 

“Do twins run in either of your families?” Maggie questions as I feel the uncomfortable pain I thought was just lingering start to build as Pete just said.

“Nah. Not that I know of.” Daryl answers as I breathe through a growing contraction. “No idea.” I reply, before resuming to breathe through the contraction, eventually turning to pained groans. I was already so exhausted I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to go through it again. The contraction, getting to be just as painful as the last ones, passes after what feels like a long moment, and I let out an exhale. 

“Okay, it’s time. I think you’re next contraction will be in about 20 seconds, then Y/N you’re gonna have to start pushing. And I want you to try as hard as you can, ‘cause I’m a little concerned at the amount of blood you’ve lost already. So we want this one to go quicker, okay?” Pete informs, not exactly putting me at ease.

“I don’t know if I c--” I start to reply but I cut myself off with a pained groan. “20 seconds my ass.” I weakly retort through the pain.

“Okay, here we go. Push Y/N.” Pete encourages.

With Daryl stood with our baby daughter in his arms at my bed side and Maggie at the other, I once again pushed as hard as I could, for what I felt was as long as I could. Time felt warped in this room, and I had no idea how long I’d actually been in there, let alone how long I’d actually been pushing. 

After a while of pushing and battling to keep my body and energy going, Pete suddenly switches his usual words of encouragement. “Wait, I see something.” Pete announces, and I stop to breathe. 

“What? What’s the matter?” Daryl worryingly questions.

“It’s the baby’s buttocks.” Denise declares. “It’s breech.” Pete states.

“The hell’s that mean?” Daryl asks.

“Not much good.” I weakly breathe. “It means Y/N’s gonna have to push even harder now. Okay, go.” Pete informs and with his word go, I resume pushing my hardest, but I can feel my body battling the exhaustion and ache at the same time, making the whole thing even more difficult.

“Y/N you’re gonna have to push even harder, nothing’s happening.” Pete urges. 

I stop pushing, breathing heavy, sweating, on verge of tears. “I can’t. I can’t.” I whimper.

“Hey, hey.” Daryl says, coming right close to my side. “You got this, alright? I know you do.” He softly encourages. I nod slightly before taking a breath and pushing with all my might. “Good, Y/N. Keep pushing like that, and it’ll be over in no time.” Pete urges.

Except it did not feel like it was over in no time. When the feet had finally come out, I now had to push the head and I felt as if I had truly used just about all my remaining energy getting the legs and buttocks out.

“Alright, just like last time Y/N. It’s just the head left. Some big pushes and this’ll be over.” Pete encourages. 

It took just about everything in me I had left, and I was surprised there was anything else, to keep pushing. I wailed in pain, breathing and not breathing, pushing and fighting the urge to stop pushing. For a moment, I wondered if this was it. But then, after what had felt like a lifetime, I let out a big exhale of air I didn’t know I had been holding for so long. And with my final push, a small surge of strength flows through me, and with an almighty scream narrating the last push, the baby finally comes out and with a huge sigh I collapse back against the bed. 

“Denise, if you would cut the cord and take the baby.” Pete calmly orders, and Denise doesn’t hesitate to comply. “Congratulations once again. You now have a baby boy.” Pete adds as Denise cuts the cord. 

I look next to me at Daryl, seeing his smile as he still held our baby girl before he leant over and kissed my forehead. I smiled with him, but weakly. I’d never felt so exhausted, and it was a battle to keep my eyes open at this point. 

“Y/N, what you’re gonna feel now is me reaching into your uterus, okay?” Pete announces, but I feel too tired to reply and already ache so much all over to care, so I don’t even muster a nod, but Daryl looks over at him curiously, as well as Maggie.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie asks.

“She’s lost a lot of blood, too much for my liking. I want to detach the placenta now, so the blood vessels will stop bleeding, and her uterus can start to close, preventing more blood loss.” Pete explains.

“She gonna be alright?” Daryl questions, as I weakly grimace at the feel at what Pete was doing. 

“If her uterus contracts strongly enough now, she should be fine. But I’m gonna massage her uterus to stimulate her contractions and hopefully speed it up, looking at how weak she looks and how much blood she’s lost already. We don’t want her blood pressure dropping anymore.” Pete answers calmly, and I wanted to ask questions, but I clearly looked how I felt. Weak. So I stayed quiet.

“Y/N, you wanna hold your baby boy?” Denise asks.

I smile and go to move my arms up, but I feel so frail that I find it hard to even hold them up, and Pete was also still massaging my uterus and it wasn’t exactly comfortable. “I feel a bit too feeble. I’ll be stronger in a moment.” I point out, a little deflated.

“Maggie?” Denise says looking towards her. Maggie then looks to me. “Can I?” she asks, with a smile, and I nod softly back.

She makes her way around the bed and Pete towards Denise and Daryl, coming up in front of Daryl. 

“How about I take this little lady, and Daryl can hold his little guy.” Maggie suggests as she takes hold of our baby girl from Daryl, and Denise then hands our son over to him.

I watch at the two, smiles on their faces as they stand together at my bed side. It was a blissful image. One I was grateful to see. I smile weakly as I watch them, content in current circumstance, despite feeling like I was about shut down from exhaustion. As Daryl looks back over at me, he smiles brightly, a smile I hadn’t seen so big before graced across his face. And that smile was the last thing I remembered. 

-

Daryl looked back over at Y/N, a smile plastered on his face, proud of what she’d done and brought into this world as he held their baby boy and Maggie their baby girl. She looked back at him, a small smile reflecting his, until he noticed it suddenly and slowly fade into nothing. She now looked expressionless at him, like she was looking straight through him.

“Y/N?” Daryl says. Nothing. He steps forward and grasps her hand, still holding the baby with the other, squeezing and moving it for a reaction. Nothing. “The hell’s happenin’? What’s wrong with her?” Daryl panickily questions, looking from her to Pete.

Pete doesn’t stop what he’s doing but looks up over at what Daryl was panicking about, to see the expressionless and motionless Y/N laying there. “Shit.” He mutters. 

“Denise! I need you to get the Oxytocin and a syringe and needle now!” Pete orders as he gets up.

“Whe- where are--,” Denise stutters. “Drug cabinet out front! Go!” Pete yells, and Denise rushes to the door as he moves around Y/N.

“Someone tell me what the hell’s goin’ on! Why ain’t she moving?!” Daryl exclaims as the yelling starts making the babies cry and Denise leaves the room. “Daryl hand me the baby.” Maggie urges, seeing his distress as Pete checks Y/N’s pulse.

“Daryl! What’s happening?” Rick calls concerningly coming into the room after Denise rushes out.

“I don’t know, man! She just stopped movin’!” Daryl panickily answers as he hands the baby over to Maggie.

“Pete!” Rick exclaims, pushing for an answer as he starts performing CPR.

“She’s--,” he starts but is interrupted by Denise. “I got it!” She exclaims as she rushes back in through the remaining few of the group who had stayed outside and were now watching in clueless worry at the door.

“Rick, close that door. We don’t need an audience. Denise, inject the meds.” Pete orders.

“Tell me what the hell’s happenin’!” Daryl shouts as Rick shuts the door.

“She’s lost too much blood and her blood pressure has probably dropped too much so her body’s shut down. She needs the Oxytocin to help her uterus contract stronger and quicker, to close and stop the blood loss.” Pete explains as Denise readies the injection.

“I thought that’s what ya said you were doing!” Daryl yells, his voice breaking a little. 

“My hands can only do so much for that, Daryl. The meds will work better and faster.” He states as he continues CPR. Daryl starts stepping around, pacing in distress, feeling helpless as all he, Rick and Maggie can do is watch. After testing the syringe, Denise then carefully injects the drug into Y/N’s vein as Pete momentarily stops for her to do so before resuming when the needle’s out. 

“Denise what’s her pulse like now?” Pete asks as he still continues with CPR.

Denise feels for a pulse. “She hasn’t got one.” she announces. 

“Shit.” Pete mutters. “Wait, you sayin’ she’s dead?!” Daryl exclaims, his voice now broken but no one says anything, Pete just keeps muttering ‘come on’ over and over to himself quietly as he does CPR. Everyone watches with no words, just the noises of the babies, Pete’s grunts from his efforts and Daryl’s stifled cries are heard. 

“Denise?” Pete says after a moment, and she goes to check for a pulse again. “Nothing.” she announces, hanging her head a little, making Daryl’s stifled cries turn into uncontrollable ones as he still paces, not knowing what to do with himself. 

Pete stops frustrated, leaning on the bed. “Shit!” He exclaims, pushing off it. 

Rick and Maggie have tears in their eyes as they watch Daryl break down and look at a motionless Y/N on the bed as Denise and Pete hand their heads. 

“What, that’s it? You’re done?” Rick emotionally questions.

“This isn’t a hospital. We have limited resources and next to no equipment here. She’s too weak. Her body is too tired. There’s not much else I can do.” Pete explains. 

“But there is something?” Rick asks.

Pete sighs. “There’s nothing I can do.” He corrects.

“That’s bullshit, man!” Daryl yells through his cries as he comes up to Y/N’s side and starts resuming to do CPR. Everyone kind of looks on in slight shock at his desperate efforts, regardless no one stops him.

After a while, however, seeing Daryl clearly not getting anywhere, Rick comes up behind him and tries to stop him, tries to pry him away, knowing what was inevitably coming next. “Daryl, come on.” Rick mumbles.

“Get off me, man!” Daryl pushes back. 

“Daryl, you know what’s gonna happen. She wouldn’t want us to let her t--,” Rick emotionally states, a few tears silently falling.

“You don’t think I know that!” Daryl exclaims, cutting him off. They stare at each other for a moment. “Just-- just give me a minute.” Daryl breathes heavily, turning around to look back at Y/N. He steps back over, hovering over her as his tears drop down onto her. He leans down, resting his forehead against hers, stifling his cries but they start coming out as sobs as he shares a final moment before having to do what they always had to. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?” Maggie quietly asks over Daryl’s cries, and Pete shakes his head. 

Daryl sniffles, before he plants an emotional kiss on Y/N’s lips. “I’ll always love ya.” He whispers, before unsheathing his knife from his belt. He slowly brings it up, and shakingly hovers it at the side of her head. 

“Wait!” Denise bursts, making everyone look to her. “Do we have adrenaline?” She asks, looking to Pete at her side.

“Potentially. But that has risks of doing more harm than good.” Pete explains.

“Isn’t it worth a shot? It’s sure to revive her, right?” Denise chimes. 

“Ya tellin’ me you had a solution the whole time? Ya stood there with it as I held a knife to her fuckin’ head?” Daryl questions, frustrated. 

“If we inject her with adrenaline there’s a risk it could cause damage to her brain, and therefore her life quality. Do you wanna take that risk?” Pete elaborates. 

“The hell else is there to do?” Daryl retorts. 

“There’s nothing to lose, Pete.” Denise points out.

“Yeah, ‘cept time. Why ya still standin’ there?” Daryl pressures.

Pete contemplates for a second, before he starts rushing off with an exasperated sigh. He swings the door open and the people outside stand, rushing over to the doorway. A few of them look on with dropped, sad expressions and quiet gasps at the sight of Y/N motionless on the bed, when Pete rushes back in.

“If this goes wrong, do not look to me.” Pete announces as he comes to Y/N’s side.

“Just do it.” Daryl forces, desperate for anything. 

Pete starts extracting the dose of adrenaline. “What’s gonna happen?” Rick asks.

“If it goes the way we want-- it will help her breathing, stimulate her heart, increase her blood pressure. But she could suffer from a lot of side effects, and like I said-- damage to the brain.” Pete explains as he carefully injects Y/N in the outer thigh.

“That won’t happen. She’s a fighter.” Daryl states as Pete pushes the syringe.

“We can’t know that.” Pete retorts, retracting the needle.

“It won’t.” Daryl sternly reiterates. 

After a few seconds of waiting for something to happen, nothing does. “Ain’t it meant to work fast.” Daryl snaps.

“It’s only been about ten seconds, as weak as she was, it may take a minute to get everything going.” Pete informs. 

Everyone in the room waits, staring at Y/N in the hopes of seeing any form of movement, just not the dead kind. And after what feels like a lifetime for Daryl, but was probably in fact around under a minute, Y/N suddenly takes a small breath, and her chest rises and falls. 

“Y/N?” Daryl says as he steps forward, hoping the injection hadn’t pushed her over the edge and made her turn as she drew breath.

There’s silence for a minute, apart from the fusses of the babies, still held in Maggie’s arms.

“D- Daryl?” Y/N weakly speaks. She pulled through. Daryl immediately was at her side, taking her hand, as he emotionally mumbles. “I’m here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”


	25. twenty five

I remembered fading in and out for a while. But before that there was nothing. The only thing I could see was Daryl’s smile before I drifted off, and then as I started fading in and out, Daryl was always there. His voice, and the image of his smile even if I couldn’t see him. And when I finally woke, feeling somewhat stable in my consciousness, his smile that I had glued into my head wasn’t what I saw. Although it was him, and it was his smile, it wasn’t the same one. I was faced by one of relief as he looked on dishevelled and seemingly emotionally drained. Turns out a whole shitstorm hit, and I was blissfully unaware. Through all of it, when my heart had apparently stopped, I felt no pain and all the while I had just been left with the beautiful image of Daryl holding our child and I felt content. It was only when I woke and was faced by a relieved yet distressed Daryl that I was brought back to reality and suddenly relieved myself to be alive, to be back, unaware I’d even gone. 

I had Denise and Pete to thank, although Daryl put more emphasis on Denise seeing as she was the one who had the idea about the adrenaline and Pete had benched it beforehand without even mentioning it. But regardless, at this point, I didn’t care. I was now just grateful to be alive. I’d been given the chance to be with my kids and continue to be with Daryl. 

I’d been told I was out for the rest of the day after the birth and some of the next. They’d got me stable, and they just had to let my body do the rest. I knew Daryl had been at my side the whole time, that I didn’t need someone to tell me. And he had kept the kids in the room with us. They were in a crib someone had brought over for us that was just spare from one of the houses in the whole place and Pete had brought some baby clothes for them that Jessie insisted we had, seeing as we had nothing. They had to be fed with some baby formula the pantry had spare collecting dust, but there wasn’t much, so it was good I woke when I did to start breastfeeding them. Essentially the whole group had come in to see us the first chance they could and I was happy to see all their faces, and hear some witty remarks from a few of them.

Other than Daryl, Pete had been the one I’d seen the most, and as much as I found him slightly irritating and at times a little uncomfortable, I was grateful for efforts. He monitored me in the infirmary for two days now, not wanting me to leave until he was satisfied I was strong enough and wasn’t showing any immediate signs of damage or serious side effects from the adrenaline. According to Pete, I had put my body through too much stress and trauma as of recently and that was why I had become so weak. My body was tired before I even began the birth, and I didn’t find that hard to believe for a second considering the last couple months we had. So, I’d been sat in this bed for a couple days, doing nothing but resting and wanting nothing more than to get out of it. The four walls of the room were starting to drive me crazy, and I felt well rested enough to at least move into the house. I’d been walking around the room fine, and I wanted to walk about outside, feel the air. I was never one for being couped up for so long. So, when I woke another morning in the room, feeling essentially fine and ready to leave, I wasn’t going to let Pete talk me out of it this time. 

“Hey.” Daryl greets as he walks back into the room that morning as I was breastfeeding.

“You go hunting or something?” I ask, as he wasn’t here when the kids and I woke up early, or more accurately when the kids woke me up.

“Yeah. Got some rabbits and squirrels.” He answers as he drags the chair over by the bed, taking a seat with his crossbow still in hand.

“How ya feelin’ today?” He questions as he starts fiddling away with his crossbow.

“Like I wanna run out of this room and catch some damn rabbits and squirrels myself.” I reply, making him scoff in amusement. “I bet.” He says.

As I lay there with the babies and Daryl sits with his crossbow, a calming and comfortable silence washes over us for a moment. I watched as Daryl fiddled, concentrating on what it was he was doing, finding it mildly entertaining as I kept my eye on the twins while they fed. Once they’d got their fill, Daryl took one and we both laid them back in their crib.

“You know, we still haven’t named them. And as much as I love hearing that you have your own little ass kickers-- I think it’s time.” I announce with an amused smile, making Daryl chuckle a little as we both stood hovering over the crib, looking down at them.

“What you wanna call ‘em?” Daryl asks.

“Well, I’ve been thinking of some names, but I wondered if you perhaps- wanted to name them after anybody?” I probe.

Daryl just looks curiously at me. “Like who?” replies.

“Anyone you maybe wanna honour from your past?” I point out.

“Do you?” he questions.

“I’m asking you, Daryl.” I respond. 

He looks back down at the kids and shakes his head slightly. “Ain’t nobody worth mentionin’.” Daryl states.

There’s a brief pause before I reply. “What about Merle?” I gently probe, making Daryl look back to me.

“You wanna name him that after the shit Merle pulled, what he was like? Nah, kid deserves better than that.” Daryl replies.

“I would, if you did.” I announce. “He was your brother, Daryl. And I know you loved him, and you miss him-- even if he was an ass, and most of the time.” I start, with a slight arch of a smile at remembering just how much of an ass he actually was, and Daryl doing the same. “--And he was a good man in the end. That’s why I asked.” I finish. 

Daryl looks as if he’s plainly contemplating for a brief moment, chewing the inside of his lip, before he shakes his head slightly again. “Nah.” He simply answers.

“Don’t you got anyone? What about your dad and that?” Daryl questions.

“I mean, we could. But I don’t want to.” I point out. 

“Why’s that?” he asks.

“’Cause I’d like them to have their own story. Their own new names as we navigate this new world we’ve found ourselves in.” I explain.

“Then why’d ya ask me if I did?” Daryl probes.

“In case you wanted to.” I answer. We both look at each other warmly, comfortingly. 

“Alright-- I ain’t got any ideas, so what you got?” Daryl questions. 

“Well-- I liked the ideas of ‘Maeve’ for the girl. --And ‘Kori’ for the boy.” I announce, and Daryl looks as if he’s pondering whether or not he likes the suggestions. 

“If you don’t like th--,” I start. “Nah.” Daryl interjects. “I like ‘em.” He states, with a smile, which I mirror happily. 

“Good morning.” Pete suddenly greets as the door swings open and he enters into the room.

“Morning.” I reply as the both of us turn from the crib to him. 

“We feeling good today?” Pete asks.

“Yep. Same as before. I’m ready to leave, Pete.” I urge.

“Well, actually I was coming in to say that you’ve been recovering well and you haven’t been showing any immediate signs or serious symptoms, so-- I’d say you’re free to leave.” Pete announces.

I let out a large breath of relief at hearing his words. “Thank god.” I breathe. 

“I do, however, still want to keep checking you for a while. Just to monitor if anything presents itself over the next week or so.” Pete adds.

“Alright, do what you gotta do. As long as I can get out this room.” I reply. 

“I’ll come by at-- noon, every day. Sound good?” Pete asks.

“Yep.” I simply answer. 

“Great, I’ll let you two get out of here. Just take it slow out there.” Pete says before he turns to leave with a nod. 

As soon as Pete had said the words and left, I was more than ready to get out the room. While I carried the twins, Daryl carried the crib with his crossbow slung over his shoulder as we left the infirmary. Being back outside felt like a blessing, even if I was going to be indoors a lot for the foreseeable future, but I was free to do as I pleased now. Walking back to the house through the streets, there were quite a few people walking around now the morning had seemingly started for everyone and there were a lot of curiously happy faces as we walked by. And it wasn’t long until we were coming up to the turning for our street, that I clocked the two people I didn’t, and would never, have the energy for. My mother and her husband were walking in our direction up ahead. We managed to turn off onto our street before they were able to come up to or pass us; it meant I could avoid them like I had wanted to and still intended to do. However, as we walked towards our two houses, I couldn’t help but feel we were being watched. So, as we neared our house, I glanced over my shoulder and saw that the two of them had turned down our street, following after us and weren’t far behind.

“Y/N, wait.” Hayley calls as we pass our first house. I close my eyes with a sigh. We were nearly at ours, nearly escaping the situation. 

“Daryl, take the kids inside. Leave the crib.” I order.

“You good?” he concerningly questions as he takes Maeve first, looking between me and the other two approaching us.

“We’ll find out.” I reply, as I put Kori in his other arm.

Daryl stares at the two briefly as they come closer before he turns away and heads over to the house. Instead of watching the two in their approach, I watch Daryl walk up to and into the house with the twins, wanting to see them get inside. Once I saw Daryl disappear through the front door, I turn and as soon as I do, they call out again, seeing they had my attention. 

“Y/N, can we talk please?” Hayley pleads loudly while I stare resentfully at them as they walked forward.

“There’s nothing you can say that’s gonna make me feel any differently about you.” I exclaim, raising my voice, even as they continued coming closer. 

“Your mother and I just want to talk.” Richard follows up as they come to stand before me, and my frame goes rigid with frustration.

“She’s not my mother!” I yell, blurting out in anger without a thought, and I bring myself down a little soon after. “You never have been.” I spit, looking straight at her.

“I know what we did. What I did. But-- I’m still your mother.” She defends, sounding a little hurt. 

“You forfeited that role a long time ago. You threw it away like it was nothing. Why should you get to call yourself that now? After all these years?” I question, my voice growing louder again as my anger spiked with hearing her every word and speaking every one of mine. 

“Because I am and always will be your mother. We all make mistakes.” She declares, holding her emotional state, and whether it was an act or real, I wasn’t entirely sure, but nor did I care.

“No. You didn’t make mistakes. You did exactly what you wanted ‘cause that’s who you are. Who you both are. You’re not gonna change, and there’s nothing you can say that’s gonna make me see or think any different. So just go!” I snap exasperated, my arm sternly pointing away, but neither of them move. So, with an angered scoff, I turn around and start to walk towards the house, where I see Daryl and the rest of the house all stood onlooking on the porch. 

“You pricks deaf! She told ya to go!” Daryl suddenly calls and I stop to look back, seeing them both following as well as noticing that the other half of the group were watching from the second house and other people from theirs, including people at the end of the street, obviously hearing the heated confrontation. We were collecting a crowd once again. 

“You’re wrong.” Richard states as they come to a stop again.

“Excuse me?” I spit taking a couple steps forward in irritation.

“We know what we did was wrong. And we can’t change that. But we did change ourselves. We became better people. And we want to make it right. Let us.” Richard announces. 

“And how many little girls did it take for you to realise what you did was wrong, huh?!” I shout. “You think by just saying you’ve changed I’m gonna let you back into my life? I have my own family, and I’ll be damned if I ever let you anywhere near them.” I snap.

“Y/N, please, I--,” Hayley starts, tears starting to form in her eyes, but it just angers me further seeing it, so much so I feel my own starting to pool from the rage I was emanating. “I don’t wanna hear anymore.” I spit.

“I’m your family, too.” She emotionally states. 

Her words infuriate me so much, it makes my own tears spill over onto my cheeks silently as my jaw and fists clenched in fury. “Then why didn’t you stop him?!” I shout. “Why did you stand there in the crack of the door and do nothing?! Why did you do all the things you did?! Why did you abandon me bleeding on the sidewalk?! Why?!!” I continue frantically shouting. 

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that!” Richard exclaims angered as I finish shouting, like it was unjustified. It was the truth being laid out and questioned. My outburst had sent Hayley into a slight hunch as she cried, with Richard holding her at his side, consoling her as he rubbed her back. Like she was the one who needed comfort in this situation. 

“I don’t know.” She cries. “I’m sorry.” She whimpers.

“Sorry doesn’t change anything. And it doesn’t right so many wrongs.” I coldly state.

“I told you she wouldn’t want to listen.” Richard mumbles to Hayley, though he wasn’t being quiet about it, he obviously wanted me to hear.

“What was that?” I snap, sternly staring him down as he stared back in defiance but said nothing. And with that, I turned around and started marching back towards the house. 

“I bet you never told your daughter you tried to kill her before she was even born?” Richard calls out, immediately making me freeze on the spot. I couldn’t believe he had just said that. If my rage wasn’t fuelled enough, it was spewing over now. “Sophia, right?” he adds as I turn back around to face them. “Richard, stop.” Hayley mutters, urging him at his side, but he ignores her. “You tell her you plunged a knife into your stomach to end her life?” he continues.

“I was fourteen and scared. Both of you put that knife into my hands. You forced my hand.” I emotionally and angrily retort.

A brief silence falls over us as we stare at each other resentfully, both angered.

“We should’ve left you bleeding in that kitchen.” Richard spits.

“What did you say?” I retort, furiously astonished at his words.

“I said we should’ve let you die and your baby with you!” He snaps. 

I instantly saw red. I couldn’t contain my rage, and I could feel myself shaking with it as my fists clenched. “Richard!” Hayley gasps after his remark as I began striding over to them with such an intense feeling of ferocity, that I had never felt at this level before. It was a matter of seconds from his exclamation to the hard swing I took to his face. All my fury went through into the first punch, and with a loud grunt accompanied to the blow, it sent him to the ground. I just managed to hear a collection of gasps and murmurs, including that of a shocked Hayley, as Richard fell to the floor over my infuriation, but it didn’t stop me from getting on top of him. 

“Stop!” I hear Deanna shout, unaware she was even there, not that I cared, as I send another hard blow to Richard, who was already bleeding from the first, and I really didn’t care about that either. It just spurred me on to draw more in the moment. 

“Y/N, stop! Get off of him!” Deanna shouts again as I register Hayley crying to the side through the third grunt and punch. Nothing would have stopped me, I would have kept going, except something did stop me. I was suddenly pulled back off of him, and I resisted, even when I noticed it was Daryl. He got me off him and to my feet, getting in front of me to stop me from going back at Richard.

“I ever hear another word from either of you-- if you ever come near me again-- I won’t stop next time! And if you so much as look at my kids, come near them-- or Rick’s-- or anyone of my family-- and I’ll you! You hear me! I’ll take my sword off my wall, and I’ll kill you!!” I scream hysterically as I resist Daryl’s hold and pushes to get me to the house.

“That’s enough!” Deanna shouts louder than ever before. “Get her inside now!” she yells, and I push away from Daryl, staring at Hayley crouched next to a bloodied mouth and nosed Richard, crying. Pacing slightly, I looked around to see the extensive crowd that had gathered, looking pretty much nearly like the whole of Alexandria, with looks of shock and stun. I turn and march to and up the porch into the house, passing some of the group without a glance, the explosive anger still running through me.

-

“You understand she can’t be a constable anymore, right, Rick?” Deanna softly states.

“No. I don’t.” Rick answers. “Her reaction seemed perfectly rational to me considering.” He defends.

“She yelled that she’d kill them, Rick. I can’t have her in this role after that, after she publicly beat a man.” Deanna announces.

“That wasn’t a beating. Far from it. That was a couple licks.” Rick declares.

“A couple licks that broke Richard’s nose and swelled his face.” Deanna points out.

“He deserves a lot more than a broken nose after what he did to her. After what they both did.” Rick scorns.

“Look, Rick, I know what they did in the past was wrong. But the only thing Richard’s done wrong here in the now-- was the words he used. Which he expressed to me that he now regrets. He said he was angry at her outburst at Hayley, that was all.” Deanna explains. 

“Bullshit.” Rick says.

Deanna sighs. “What do you expect me to do about it, Rick?” Deanna questions.

“I don’t think they should be here.” Rick announces.

“So, what? I exile them?” Deanna retorts, and Rick looks at her with his eyebrows raised, like that was exactly what she should be doing. 

“Rick, I’m not gonna do that. I don’t do that unless I absolutely have to, and I don’t believe I do in this instance.” Deanna declares.

“Why the hell not?” Rick asks.

“I talked to Hayley and Richard while Y/N was recovering in the infirmary. Together and separately, and they appeared genuinely remorseful.” Deanna points out. “That’s why they approached her. And, granted, they could have chosen their moment more wisely, but the intent was there. They wanted to reconcile. What happened after was just an unfortunate turn of emotions. Which, like I said, Richard regrets. And Hayley even expressed disgust at Richard’s remarks, to which he seemed genuinely upset over when I talked to them again before being here with you. He also didn’t even care about what Y/N did, he accepted and understood it.” She explains. 

“So you think that’s something you can reconcile over? All those years of abuse and trauma?” Rick sceptically questions.

“It’s possible.” Deanna states. 

She sighs as she looks at an unconvinced Rick. “Y/N doesn’t have to forgive them. I wouldn’t expect her to. And if she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to speak to them. She doesn’t ever have to converse with them again. But she’s going to have to tolerate knowing they’re here.” She continues. 

“She shouldn’t have to.” Rick calmly retorts. 

“I’m not going to exile them. Not if they’re showing genuine remorse for what they’ve done. And I believe that. They’ve never done a thing wrong here. Not to mention, Richard leads the construction crew with Tobin. He’s been a vital member here in this community since the start. So, I can’t exile them for this. Not over heated words and the regretted actions from 15 years ago.” Deanna declares. 

“So they both get to stay- no repercussions, and Y/N has to give up her role? I mean, did you ever think they were showing what they wanted you to see?” Rick questions. 

“I did. But- I’m good at reading people.” Deanna points out. “It wasn’t a show.” She informs. “And I can’t have Y/N in an authority role over the whole community after that display in front of everybody. That’s why I’m taking it away-- and that’s why Tobin will take full control of the construction crew. Richard will just work as part of it from now on. At least this way, something’s been done at either side.” Deanna proclaims. 

Rick shakes his head slightly as he sighs lightly unimpressed.

“I want you to know, Rick-- just because I’ve taken the role from Y/N, doesn’t mean my opinion has changed on her. I still see her as the same person. A good one. I understand that what happened is a result of deep ridden trauma and I accept her reaction. I just can’t accept it with her as a constable. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but it was also a hard and complicated decision to make.” Deanna states.

There’s a short silence as Rick thinks over Deanna’s words. “Michonne will take Y/N’s place as constable.” She announces, breaking the brief silence. “And when she feels comfortable leaving the twins, when they’re not so dependent on her, she can join Aaron and Daryl on recruiting. He wanted them both originally, so it seems fitting to put her with them now in light of all this. --Besides- I get the feeling she’ll prefer this role anyway. She’ll get to be out there when she needs and wants to be.” Deanna continues. 

Rick nods slightly in acknowledgement. “If you could inform Michonne of her new job, and Y/N that she’ll be joining Aaron and Daryl when she’s ready.” She instructs. 

Rick rises from Deanna’s table. “Alright.” He simply agrees before he turns to leave.

“Rick.” Deanna says, turning his attention back to her. “You understand my decision, right? And this is my final decision.” She questions.

“Yeah. I get it.” Rick answers, with a small hint of scorn in his tone, as he resumes to leave.

-

“So Y/N gets kicked from the job, and the guy gets off scot free?” Glenn chimes as Rick explained what he’d been talking with Deanna about, while Maggie was cleaning my cut knuckles and bloodied fist. Getting the moment to now as I’d finally calmed down before Rick turned up back at the house. 

“Richard’s been taken off from leading the construction crew with Tobin.” Rick informs.

“Prick deserves a lot more than just a demotion.” Daryl points out annoyed. 

“You got that right.” Michonne backs.

“Yeah. He does.” Rick agrees, visibly equally annoyed. 

“Maybe I could talk Deanna into doing something else.” Maggie suggests.

“No.” I calmly state. 

Hearing no one else say anything after me, it causes me to look up from what Maggie was doing at the guys and Michonne, stood around the kitchen as Maggie and I sat at the table, all of them looking at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Aren’t you pissed Deanna’s not doing anything with him?” Glenn questions.

“Honestly-- I couldn’t care less what she decides to do with him. With either of them. I couldn’t care if they stayed, I couldn’t care if they went. Either way they’re dead to me.” I explain. “And I’m not bothered about not being a constable. I’m not sure it was my thing.” I point out. “More officer friendly’s style than mine, anyway.” I add, managing a small joke, trying to get the seriousness to tone down. I was over it all now, I wanted to move on and forget it all. And I see a small arch of a smile from Rick at the nickname, but it fades soon after. 

“Well, you still have a job.” Rick announces. “You’re now with Aaron and Daryl recruiting. And Michonne you’re the new constable.” He continues. 

“You serious?” Michonne replies as I glance at Daryl, hearing the news, with a small smile, seeing a hint of one from him. I was actually glad to hear it. I’d much rather be doing that with them, than what I was doing. 

Rick nods and Michonne looks to me. “You okay with this?” she asks sincerely. 

I scoff in amusement. “Yeah. Go nuts.” I answer.

“So, can we move on from all this now?” I urge, and a momentary silence washes over.

“Hey Michonne--,” Glenn suddenly starts, breaking the silence and directing the attention to him. “Just maybe don’t take the ‘go nuts’ too literally-- seeing as how the last constable got fired.” Glenn jokes, and for a couple seconds no one says a word before he and the rest of us snort into an echo of chuckles, all except Daryl who just smirks at his witty comment. 

“Good one.” I retort, smirking at Glenn.

“Well, I mean-- so much for not being the talk of the town, huh, Samurai?” Rick lightly teases, referring back to what I’d said before all this, holding the smirks from the others. 

I scoff in unimpressed amusement. “Alright, alright. I thought we were dropping it.” I point out, smirking slightly at him as I shook my head. Only after what had happened, could these people make jokes and actually make me smile and chuckle, and I was so grateful for it. I was grateful for them, and I always would be.


	26. twenty six

Gabriel walked into the church that morning and made his way up to the front. He had situated himself in Alexandria back into the role of being a community’s father, their priest, but had been fighting within himself whether or not he, or the people he had came her with, deserved to be here. it had been about a week now since what happened between Y/N, Richard and Hayley, and Gabriel had been shocked to see it. He knew the group were brutal and at times savage, but he’d never seen Y/N like that before. It made him see that perhaps they were all the same. 

Gabriel came to the front and looked down at the page the bible was left on. The page had a tear at top of it and he fiddled with the page gently with his finger as he hovered over it. As he casually looked up and away, he suddenly noticed something in the corner of his eye that wasn’t usually there to his side on a table. It was a bowl of strawberries with a note. Gabriel stepped over, to get a closer look and saw that the note read ‘Father, we are so blessed to have you! Please enjoy, Rosemary’. Reading it, it didn’t make him feel grateful or happy, it just made him feel worse than he already did. The memory of his old flock and what had happened to them, because of him, still haunting him. What kind of man had he become? What kind of priest had he become? These people had no idea. And it wasn’t just him, it was the group too. The whole place had no idea what they got themselves into. 

Gabriel turned, stepping back over to the bible, looking back down at the page with the small tear at the top. He gripped it between his thumb and finger and slowly pulled it away, tearing the page off and letting it fall to the floor. He brought his hand back up and gripped another page, pulling it down and tearing it off too. He did it again. And again. And again. Discarding the pages to the floor, ripping them from the bible without a thought, getting faster and more aggressive in his efforts, until he finally rips the whole text from its spine. Throwing it to the floor, he slams the cover shut to its back and tries to stifle his cries as he looks at the now torn bible and over at the note with the bowl of strawberries, as if having a complete erosion of faith. 

-

After the incident with Hayley and Richard, who I gladly hadn’t seen since, clearly getting the message, the following week had gone reasonably smooth. We all seemed to start adjusting to our new roles, and what was now our lives, here in Alexandria. Over the past week, I’d been caring for the twins along with Daryl, whilst he also spent his time, and most of it, working on the bike Aaron had presented him with last week after the party. Carl had continued to make passing housewife jokes as I was spending most of my time indoors with the kids, or just anywhere inside the walls with the kids. He continually found himself hilarious. Pete had done a couple check-ups, like he had said he would, but he only did them for a couple days after I left the infirmary and then just stopped. I thought it was odd as he had mentioned looking in over about a week, but I wasn’t bothered enough to go see him as to see why that wasn’t happening. I felt fine anyway, and his visits were always slightly irritating. The man just made me feel uncomfortable, I couldn’t put my finger on why.

Maggie and Deanna had started working together on future plans for Alexandria, seeing what they could do with the place, for it, and what they had, or could get, to do it all with. One plan that had already been started over the past couple days was the expansion of our walls. The construction crew, including Abraham, had started collecting materials from the nearby construction site that were leftover, the one for the mall Deanna had mentioned back when we first arrived. 

The power grid in Alexandria had gone out overnight. So, on top of the construction crew leaving for the mall site again this morning and Daryl and Aaron leaving for their first recruiting run for a couple days, now the bike was ready, the supply run group were also heading out. They had to venture to a nearby warehouse to get more of the necessary parts to get it going again, which Eugene would install and get the power grid back up. We were quickly becoming part of a functioning community, just like Deanna had wanted. 

-

Glenn, Noah, Tara, Aiden and Nicholas were packing the van with their gear, readying to leave for the supply run. Eugene was stood holding a dead battery pack that was needed as they did, in order to show the guys what exactly it was they would be looking for out there. They had told him he had to come with to show them himself, but Eugene was more than reluctant. 

“You got everything?” Reg asks Aiden.

“First aid kits, yellow pages. Glenn made a checklist. We’re good, I swear.” Aiden assures.

“I know, I’m just a worrier. That’s how that wall wound up around us.” Reg says.

Aiden smiles before he leans in and gives Deanna a peck on the cheek. “Love you.” she mutters.

“Take care, dad.” Aiden chimes as he leans back up straight.

“I’m supposed to be saying that to you.” Reg responds, and Aiden smiles as he turns to put the gear in his hands in the van. 

Noah stops at Eugene’s side and holds a gun up in front of him for him to take. “Oh, no, thank you.” Eugene says, glancing at it.

“Just take it.” Nicholas urges as he walks past to the back of the van to load more gear. “Come on, you got to protect yourself.” Noah encourages.

“Not if I don’t go.” Eugene retorts, making Noah lower the gun with slight eye roll. 

“We’re not driving all that way so we can just drive back with the wrong shit.” Aiden points out.

“It’s a dozen of these. They are consistent in appearance across manufacturers. The shit will be right. I- I will install said shit. Then the grid will be fully operational again.” Eugene explains, gesturing the old battery pack in hand. 

Noah just looks at him unfazed and unimpressed, before slapping the gun against Eugene’s chest for him to take once again, a silent insistence that he was in fact coming, and he takes the gun reluctantly. Noah then turns and heads into the back of the van with the rest of the group. 

“The power grid was a prototype. I’m surprised it took this long to start acting up.” Reg announces.

“We’ll get it going.” Glenn states as he walks to the back of the van.

“Daylight’s burning. Let’s go.” Aiden calls from the front of the van before getting in the driver’s seat.

“I know I said it before, but thank you.” Deanna states to Glenn, referring to how Glenn’s actions had put Aiden in his place, making him better for it. Glenn nods with a slight smile in acknowledgment, before heading into the back of the van.

-

Rick was walking around Alexandria, as he did every morning now, walking down the streets and behind the houses, covering all ground as he looked for anything that may seem out of place or out of character. When he walked behind a row of houses, one of which was Jessie’s, he hoped she’d be there and he was happy to see she was when he walked up. Although he noticed she looked deflated and saw that she was picking up scrap pieces of metal from the floor.

“Hey.” He greets, announcing himself seeing Jessie standing over what was her now broken statue that he knew she had been making with her sons.

“Hey.” She replies.

“What happened?” Rick asks, looking over all the pieces of the scrap metal owl statue across the floor.

“I don’t know. Maybe somebody doesn’t like owls.” Jessie solemnly theorises as she continues picking up the pieces.

“Someone came in here and did this?” Rick questions, stepping into her garage. 

“Yeah.” Jessie nods as Rick crouches and looks it over.

“Stuff like this never happens here.” she states.

Rick sighs. “Well, you got any enemies?” he jokes, smiling, making Jessie smile. “You know anybody who hates owls? He follows up, turning her smile into a chuckle. 

“Too bad there isn’t somebody who could look into this kind of thing.” Rick jests as he rises back to stand, liking to see her smile.

“I’ll ask around.” He states, more seriously now.

“No, you don’t have to.” Jessie assures.

“Yeah, I know.” Rick replies.

“Okay, so you find the person who did this and then what?” Jessie asks.

“Some kind of consequences.” Rick answers. “You ever heard about the broken window theory?” He questions, and Jessie shakes her head.

“Boils down to this-- you keep the windows intact, you keep society intact.” Rick explains. 

“This was an owl, Rick.” Jessie points out amusingly, smiling again.

Rick smiles with her. “Yeah. Well-- I gotta do something today.” He states, holding his smile as he turns and leaves.

-

When the numerous walkers had descended on the construction crew at the mall site, all retaliated with their weapons, starting to shoot them down. But in the gunfire, the lookout Francine falls from the elevated digger part of the tractor down to the ground, close to the walkers, after the mechanics of it are shot and make it drop a little. Tobin had expressed falling back, but Abraham had questioned it, seeing Francine and Tobin showed that he was thinking of leaving her behind, thinking it was too late. Abraham had thought differently and rushed to save her. Killing the walkers around her, more still started to surround them. He got Francine into the tractor as he started to fight the walkers with a found weapon, after he chucked Francine his gun to shoot the walkers. The other construction men soon joined in, coming to their aid in dispatching all the remaining walkers now swarming Abraham and the Francine in the tractor, much to Tobin ashamed astonishment.

Abraham came marching up to Tobin, Francine at his side, confronting him once all the walkers were killed. “That’s how it works with you?” Abraham questions, pushing Tobin back, making him slam against one of the trucks. “You leave people behind to die?” he adds.

“We have a system. Tell him, Francine. We have a--,” Tobin defends, but Francine responds and interrupts with a hard punch to Tobin’s face, making him slam back against the truck again, hunched and holding his face. “Asshole.” She scorns.

“Hey, all that noise is bound to draw more. I say we call it and start fresh in the morning, alright?” Bruce, one of the crew, suggests.

“Screw that. Francine, you good?” Abraham chimes.

“Got at least three hours of daylight left.” She points out, backing Abraham.

Abrahams nods to himself, seeing he was taking charge of the situation. “I want two lookouts. One in the bucket and one on the trucks. Should give us more than enough warning if more are coming after the bash and pop. Now pull the cobwebs out of your ass and move.” Abraham orders aloud to everyone. “We got a wall to build.” Abraham adds, glaring directly to Tobin, before he turns and walks away with Francine and Bruce.

-

Daryl and I had decided, when the twins were less dependent on me, we would switch between who would go with Aaron on the recruiting runs, so then someone was always home with them when one of us was out there. I now spent the mornings working out in mine and Daryl’s room, wanting to get back into the shape I was before the pregnancy and birth, ready for when I would be going outside the walls with Aaron. So, when I came up into the main part of the house with the twins, no one was home, all out doing their own things. But it wasn’t too long after when Rick came back, like clockwork at lunch from his walk around Alexandria.

“Hey.” He greets aloud, coming into the house, seeing me sat in the kitchen.

“Afternoon, officer.” I reply with a smile. “And how were your streets this morning? Nothing to report as usual?” I tease as Rick comes to join me in the kitchen as I snacked, sharing my smirk. 

“Actually, there was something.” He informs, much to my surprise as he takes his jacket off, putting it on the table. “Jessie’s owl statue, the one she was making with Ron and Sam-- someone deliberately broke it. I said I’d look into it.” he explains as he takes a seat.

“Sounds gruelling.” I mock, making the two of us chuckle.

“What else I got to do?” he retorts. 

“Well, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact is happened to Jessie.” I tease, getting a slight glare from Rick. I knew he liked her, and he knew that I knew, which just made the teasing all the better. 

“So, got any leads then, detective?” I jokingly question.

“I asked around, but--,” he starts to reply but is cut short by someone knocking at the front door. The two of us look in the front door’s direction as Rick gets ups to head over and answer it. I get up and follow behind him, stopping and leaning on the edge of the kitchen wall away from the door, but still in view so I could see who it was. And as Rick opens the door, it’s surprisingly revealed as Pete. 

“Hey, Rick, just having a beer. Thought I’d bring you one for helping my wife today.” Pete announces as he immediately steps in the house at the door being opened, swaying a couple beer bottles in his hands.

“Um, I’m good, but thanks.” Rick replies

“Come on, don’t tell me you’re still on duty.” Pete retorts. 

“Kind of always am, you know?” Rick informs, and I could already sense the annoyance in him, but he was trying to cover it up to play along with Pete, who clearly had been drinking all morning, if not a couple days. I could smell the booze on him and he hadn’t even noticed me yet.

“Not at Deanna’s party. I saw you.” Pete points out, taking a couple more steps further into the house, and Rick and I glance unimpressed at each other at Pete’s strange and uncomfortable behaviour, before he turns back to Rick. “You had some, right?” Pete says, holding the bottles of beer up again.

Rick forces an acknowledging, fake smile, before he deflects back. “You know, I wish I could have helped you out more today. I asked around, but nobody saw or heard anything.” Rick states.

“Well, it was just an owl. Grand scheme of things, I think we’ll live.” Pete declares. 

Rick nods, sporting the same fake, forced smile. “Yeah.” He mutters, and for a brief moment it’s silent, until Pete opens his mouth again.

“I’m sorry. Heard you lost your wife.” He announces, and I see the plain, blank expression on Rick’s face, the same as mine at hearing Pete’s sudden words, as he singularly nods in response.

“You know-- I’m sure it looks like we haven’t lost much, but we have. We’ve lost things. Other things we’re just fighting like hell to hold on to.” Pete starts explaining. “Everything you people have been through I don’t know if you see that.” He adds.

“We do.” Rick assures, the annoyance still lingering hidden.

Pete takes a glug of his beer, before he steps forward to Rick. “Let’s be friends, man. We kinda have to be, right?” Pete states.

“Yeah, we do.” Rick replies.

“So we will.” Pete uncomfortably smiles as he holds his hand out for Rick to shake, which he does, with his forced smile.

“I’ll see you, Rick.” Pete says as he then brushes past, slapping Rick on the shoulder as he leaves, and Rick’s expression immediately drops into his annoyance once Pete is out the door. He turns and steps to the door, closing it before turning back around to face me.

“The hell was that all about?” I question. The whole thing had been uncomfortable. A regular thing about Pete I found, but this was the most uncomfortable I’d felt around him.

Rick shrugs. “Don’t know. But he was drunk.” Rick answers.

“Yeah, no kidding. I could smell the booze on him from over here.” I point out.

“You-- you ever thought something was off about him before?” Rick asks. Looks like I wasn’t the only one.

“Yeah.” I reply. “And I have a feeling it’s got something to do with Jessie.” I add.

“What would it have to do with Jessie?” Rick questions.

“The man is drunk at lunchtime-- whatever is up- whatever he’s doing-- it’s got everything to do with Jessie.” I explain. 

-

“I’m sorry to lose you, Tobin. You sure?” Deanna asks, as she sits with Tobin on the couch in her living room, along with Reg and Maggie sat in the room too.

“Absolutely.” Tobin answers, having announced he was going to step down from leading the construction crew, wanting Abraham to take his place after what had happened at the site earlier. “If Abraham had followed my orders, she’d be dead.” Tobin states, talking of Francine.

“Well, saving someone’s life makes them a hero, but it doesn’t qualify them to run a construction crew.” Reg points out.

“Well, they’re still out there, still working, the whole team. And he’s-- leading them. Better than I ever could.” Tobin declares, hanging his head.

Deanna and Reg share a look, unconvinced but seeing this is what Tobin wanted. “I guess it’s settled, then.” Deanna says, standing up from the couch. “I’ll speak to Abraham when he’s back and make it official.” Deanna announces. 

Tobin nods in agreement and rises to a stand. “Thank you, Deanna. And the thing is-- I know you won’t regret it.” Tobin assures, before he leaves with Reg out the house.

There’s a moment of silence as Deanna stands thinking about the decision just made, while Maggie still remained seated in her armchair. 

“He’s right, you know?” Maggie suddenly says, getting Deanna’s attention. “Abraham’s more than qualified.” She states.

Deanna scoffs lightly at a realisation. “I put another one of your people in a position of power, you vouch for them. It’s becoming a pattern. And although I understand the situation, one of you proved they weren’t entirely suited for it.” Deanna points out.

“We know what we’re doing. And what happened with Y/N was complicated-- you know that. She was and still would be suited for the job. She was a leader for us at the best of times when someone had to step up.” Maggie starts. “She knows what she’s doing-- we all do. It’s why you wanted us here. It’s why Aaron and Daryl are out there right now looking for more people. You wanted a future. You need us for that.” She continues.

“That’s right.” Deanna agrees.

Maggie gives her a comforting smile. “I’ll go get back to work on those field plans.” Maggie announces as she rises from the chair.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Deanna replies as Maggie walks past her to head down into Deanna’s basement studio.

-

I was home alone again, after Rick had gone back out the house, sat in the living room with the twins and Judith when I hear the door suddenly creak open, but no one immediately walks in. Then after a few seconds, I see Sam, Jessie’s youngest son, walk in, looking a little conspicuous.

“Sam?” I say standing up from the couch to get his attention and he jumps a little.

“Oh, um, hi.” He greets a little nervously as he looks at me.

“What are you doing? Are you okay?” I question curious. 

“Erh, yeah. I- I was just hoping to get some cookies from Carol.” He answers. 

“Sorry kiddo, she’s not here.” I inform. 

“Well—do you know if she has any left anywhere?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, sorry, I don’t think she does.” I reply. 

“Oh, okay.” Sam says as he starts to turn to leave with his head hung a little, sounding overly disappointed about it and I wonder if something else is up.

“Hey, Sam. Is something up?” I probe, turning his attention back to me as I step across the living room towards him, but he doesn’t say anything. “It’s okay, you can tell me.” I reassure. 

He looks at me blankly for a second before he finally speaks. “Why did you hit that man?” he questions, taking me by surprise. “My mom said it’s ‘cause he did something mean to you, and he made you so sad and angry you hit him. Is that true?” he follows up.

“Erm-- yeah. You’re mom’s right.” I confirm. “And what happened with Richard was something you’re too young to understand just yet.” I add.

“Is that what you do- when you’re sad? You hit people?” he asks. 

I scoff lightly, trying to hide my slight amusement at Sam’s unfiltered innocence. “No, not usually. And it’s not something to look up to if you’re sad, okay? It was a one time thing.” I explain, not wanting Sam to come out this conversation thinking that’s what I did all the time or think it’s something he could do either.

“So, what do you do when you’re sad?” he questions. 

“Well-- I usually surround myself with the people I love. They make me feel better.” I answer, seeing it the appropriate response, although it was true regardless. 

“Sometimes when I get sad, I break stuff.” Sam announces, hanging his head a little again. Wait, break stuff? Didn’t Rick say his owl statue get broken today?

“What kind of stuff?” I probe, wondering if perhaps he was the culprit, and he just shrugs.

“Rick told me somebody broke your owl statue.” I state, and his eyes look back up to me. “Did you break it?” I gently ask.

He looks at the floor, looking slightly ashamed before he even answered with a nod, telling me it was him.

“Why?” I softly question, but he just shrugs again. I stand looking at him curiously. He most likely lashed out about something to break his own statue. And the way Pete had been acting, and the way he always had a way of making me feel uncomfortable or acting in a certain way around Jessie, that even Rick noticed, it had to have something to do with that. I started to think Pete had something of an alter ego behind closed doors.

“Who’s sword is that?” Sam suddenly questions, breaking my thoughts and moving the subject along. I look over at my katana on the wall above the mantle he was looking at past me. 

“It’s mine.” I answer. 

“So you don’t have a gun? Everyone else in your group came in with their own guns.” Sam points out.

“No, I have my own gun too, just in case. It’s just one of the smaller ones. But I mainly use my sword- it’s my preferred source of protection for out there. And it’s quieter, which helps.” I explain honestly. 

“Can I have a gun?” Sam asks, taking me by surprise yet again, even more this time. 

“You don’t need one in here, Sam. Why do you want one?” I probe concerningly.   
.   
“It’s not for me.” He replies. 

“Who’s it for?” I question, but I think I’m beginning to see where this was going. 

Sam stares back at me blankly. “Sam, who’s it for?” I repeat, but he still says nothing before suddenly turning and running out the front door.

“Sam!” I call out, marching into the doorway, for him to stop and come back, but see him running already off the porch and away up the street.

I wanted to go after Sam, but I couldn’t leave the kids alone. If Sam wanted a gun, and it wasn’t for him, there would only really be a couple people he’d want it for. His family. And I knew it wasn’t Pete. Something was going on in that house, I now had a pretty good idea what. So, when Carl came back to the house later on, I asked him to watch the kids and I headed over to Jessie’s house.

When I knocked on the door, no one answered, so I knocked again a moment later and then finally someone did. And it was Pete.

“Hi, Y/N.” Pete greets, holding the door suspiciously close as he stood in the gap.

“Hi.” I reply, noticing he looked even worse than he did earlier, and still smelled of booze. 

“Are you not feeling well? ‘Cause you seemed fine in your check-ups.” He asks.

“Well, actually, you haven’t come over for one in several days.” I point out. 

“So are you not feeling well?” He asks again.

“No, I’m fine. I was just saying tha--,” I start but he cuts me off. “Do you need something?” he questions, and I cover up my annoyance.

“I was with Sam earlier. Is he okay?” I query trying to glance inside but he moves to block my view even more. I was curious to hear his response seeing as he was acting sketchy in the doorway.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” He sternly questions, glaring at me. this was such a switch from the man he portrayed in front of everybody, but even that self of Pete had made me feel uncomfortable around him. And now I knew why. Seeing him like this, stinking of booze, having unnecessary anger, having conspicuous and slightly hostile behaviour, it suddenly made me see my own mother within in him. Back when she used to drink, well even if she didn’t drink also, and use any excuse she could to harvest her anger onto me.

“Can I talk to Jessie?” I ask, testing to see his answer. 

“Not a good time.” He replies coldly as he slams the door shut, but he just confirmed my suspicions.

When I got back to the house, I saw it wasn’t Carl in the living room with the kids, it was now Rick. He was holding Judith in his arms as he stood and then turned to see who it was who came in the house.

“Hey, where’d you go? Carl said--,” Rick starts, but I interrupt him, not bothering with the small talk.

“Pete’s hitting Jessie.” I announce coming into the room. “Maybe Sam, too.” I add as I come to stand before Rick, with a look of concern now on his face.

“You know this how? Sam tell you?” Rick questions.

I shake my head lightly. “He didn’t have to.” I state. “I’ve seen it before. I’ve lived it.” I point out. We both stare at each other, concern in our eyes. 

“Sam asked for a gun, Rick.” I declare, seeing the shock come onto Rick’s face. “He wouldn’t want one unless he thought it would protect his family.” I point out. 

Rick sighs, hanging his head as he rubs his eyes and forehead in grievance.

“Rick-- I know how this is gonna go with Pete. There’s only one way it’s gonna go. --So, you’re gonna have to find a way to stop him. And get them away from him.” I state. 

-

Deanna had left the basement studio, leaving Maggie down there, when they both heard an insistent knock at the front door. And when Maggie heard it was Gabriel, she was curious as to why he was here and why his knocking had been so adamant.

“Gabriel, what is it?” Deanna concerningly greets when she opens the door to see it was him who had been knocking.

“I need to speak with you.” Gabriel replies. “Come- come in.” Deanna urges. “Privately.” He adds. “Alright.” She says as he steps in through the front door.

Maggie hears the front door close and after a brief pause, Gabriel finally starts to talk as she listens on the basement stairs.

“Satan-- he disguises himself as the angel of light. I’m afraid that false light is here, inside these walls. Your community, you say it’s not a paradise, but it is. I’m grateful to be here. I am. But you made a mistake letting in the others.” Gabriel announces.

“How so?” Deanna questions.

“Rick-- his group-- they’re not good people. They’ve done things. They’ve done unspeakable things.” Gabriel explains.

“To make it out there as long as they did, they must have done things. Rick said as much. They survived. That’s what makes them assets.” Deanna points out.

“You’re wrong. They can’t be trusted. They’re dangerous.” Gabriel declares. “You may believe that they did what they had to do, that they were afraid and so they--” Gabriel continues, but stops himself, suddenly identifying his own words with his own actions of what he did, or more accurately what he didn’t do, at his church with his flock.

“The day will come- when they’ll put their own lives before yours and everyone else’s and they will destroy everything you have here, everything you’re working so hard to build.” Gabriel states.

“Why are you just now coming to me with this?” Deanna asks. 

“Satan, he disguises himself as the angel of light. His servants are the false apostles of righteousness. They don’t deserve this. They don’t deserve paradise.” Gabriel explains.

Deanna looks Gabriel in the eye, just seeing a scared man, but holds what it is he has said to her, thinking to remember this. “Thank you, Gabriel. I have a lot to think about.” She replies, and Maggie then hears the door open.

“I only wish I’d come to you sooner. That I just-- I hope it isn’t too late.” Gabriel declares, and then Maggie hears the door close. 

There’s silence for a moment, as Maggie stays on the stairs, just hearing the steps of Deanna walk across the hall, when she hears the faint sound of van approaching outside.

“Help! I need help!” Glenn’s voice shouts from outside.


	27. twenty seven

“I saw the grenades. I tried to stop him.” Glenn recounts, explaining what had gone wrong and what had happened on their run which had left Aiden and Noah dead and Tara with a severe head trauma. Aiden had been continually shooting at a walker until he shot the grenades that was on its uniformed persons, that Glenn noticed too late. 

“But, we made him stay. Couldn’t get Aiden out of there without help.” Glenn continues. When trying to save an impaled but alive Aiden, Nicholas ran when walkers came close, but they all inevitably had to leave him anyway. 

“All he had to do was hold the door. But he panicked.” Glenn explains. It had been Nicholas’ selfish acts that led to Noah’s death when he didn’t work with the group and saved himself, trying to leave the others for dead.

“Noah, I had him. I had his hand.” Glenn states. “I tried.” He grievingly says. “I watched him die.” He sorrowfully adds.

“I almost left him out there. Could have told a story.” Glenn points out, sounding a little ashamed of the thought even after what had happened with Nicholas. 

“But you didn’t.” I reassure. Glenn then looks to Rick and I follow his gaze, seeing Rick’s expression practically agreeing with the notion. 

“What, you think I should’ve?” Glenn questions.

“They don’t know what they’re doing. Any of them.” Rick declares. 

“We’ll show them.” Glenn encourages. 

“I don’t know if they can see it. How things really are. I don’t know if they can yet. They haven’t caught up.” Rick explains.

“We have to be here. We have to.” Glenn affirms. 

“Yeah, we do. But their rules, we don’t answer to them. Not anymore.” Rick points out. 

“We are them, Rick. We are now.” Glenn states. 

“Rick-- we’re in a community. We have to be apart of that community. --That doesn’t mean we’ll lose ourselves, that we’ll forget what’s out there, what it’s like. We’re adjusting and that’s good. It’s a life. –They just need to adjust to the reality of what’s out there. Of life out there. --And like Glenn said-- we can show them.” I explain.

Rick looks between the both of us, Glenn sat against the fence of the porch as I stood by his side, with Rick crouched in front. He didn’t look totally convinced.

“Noah, he believed in this place. I’m telling you, we gotta make this work.” Glenn announces, the grief burning in his eyes. 

Rick doesn’t reply, he hangs his head as he starts to nod, before rising back to a stand and walking off back inside the house. 

I look back down to Glenn. “Don’t be out here too long, alright. Just-- try and get some sleep.” I softly comfort, touching his shoulder, and he nods. 

I head back inside, hoping to catch after Rick and find him stood in the living room. I walk over to his side, coming around to see his front. As he notices my presence come to his side, he drops his hands. He had been looking down, fiddling with his wedding ring on his finger.

“It’s alright, you know.” I gently point out.

“What?” he asks.

“Jessie.” I answer. “You like her.” I elaborate.

Rick lets out a small sigh. “It’s okay, Rick. It’s okay to move on. --To like someone.” I assure. 

He nods, but doesn’t say a word, as he glances at his wedding ring again, causing a momentary silence. 

“I talked to Sam some more, earlier.” I announce suddenly, getting Rick’s attention back. “When Glenn and everyone came back-- he had come out with Ron and Jessie to see what had happened, like everyone else.” I explain, sighing before I continued. “And I managed to catch him alone for a second, after it all.” I add.

“What he say?” Rick questions. 

“He said his mom put a bolt on the inside of his closet. Tells him to lock himself in sometimes and not come out ‘til morning.” I inform. “He said he can hear his dad yelling, things breaking, his mom crying. --Last month it got quiet right in the middle of it and he went out and found her on the floor-- unconscious, bleeding.” I continue, getting a low groan in disturbance and anger out of Rick in reaction. “Pete was just sitting on the porch. Drinking.” I add, appalled.

“Why do you care what happens to Jessie?” Rick asks.

“You know why.” I answer. “And I know why you do.” I state.

“Why?” he questions.

“I already told you.” I reply. “And it’s okay.” I add.

Rick looks down, saying nothing in response again, before he looks back up at me.

“I’m gonna take a walk.” He announces as he starts to walk away towards the door.

-

Rick stood looking out at the large pond that centred in Alexandria. The day had taken its toll. Because of someone here, Noah had lost his life, and Tara’s had been put at stake. Then Jessie and Pete. Rick was starting to lose his patience with these people. He’d been trying and was finding it increasingly difficult to play by their rules. As Rick stood by the pond, he pulled the gun from the back of trousers, covered by his jacket, bringing it around in front of him. He stared down at it in his hands, holding the stolen and forbidden revolver, trying to contain his anger. 

“Hey, Rick.” Pete suddenly calls from behind. He was the last person here he wanted to see. He wanted to beat him senseless for what he does to Jessie, but he couldn’t. 

“Rick.” Pete says again from behind, and he finally turns but not all the way around, to see Pete standing ahead in the road, holding a beer bottle and looking like crap. “You okay, man?” Pete asks, a slight smile on his face at the peculiarity of Rick standing out here at night. 

Rick stares sternly and blankly at him, trying to control his anger, whilst also keeping the gun hid firmly behind him out of view. “Keep walking.” Rick scorns, his voice low and stern.

Pete chuckles a little nervously. “What? What are you--,” he starts, but stops himself as Rick’s glare intensifies. He just stares back briefly before finally turning and complying, walking away back along the street, bottle still firm in hand.

-

In the morning, I had woken with a down feeling and it lingered. Losing Noah was a blow. Another one of the group gone, and it was at the fault of someone from this place. I wanted it to work. And it was, but now, after that run, things suddenly felt different. I’d been adamant this place wouldn’t change us, and I don’t think it had, but I realised that perhaps a part of me was becoming too accustomed to this life already. And I was annoyed it took Noah dying for me to see it. but this place still had to work. We just had to make it work for us. And the people here needed to realise what exactly the world was like out there. They needed to become accustomed to that life, like how we were trying here, and we’d have to help them.

I was in my room, working out, but it was still a little early for most, so when someone knocked on my door, it wasn’t expected. “Come in.” I say, pushing myself off the floor to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Hey.” Rosita greets as she steps into the room.

“Hey.” I reply. “How is she?” I ask, knowing Rosita had been checking in on Tara.

“Stable. Hanging on. I’m gonna go back there later.” She answers and I nod, relieved to hear it.

“I think Sasha might have spent the night in the tower.” Rosita announces.

“Is she still up there?” I ask concerningly.

“Abraham’s on watch now, but she hasn’t been back and nobody’s seen her.” she explains. 

I sigh, knowing that meant she was someone out there alone, doing god knows what. “I know you’ve got the twins, but you’re the best tracker we got here without Daryl.” Rosita points out.

“Yeah, well-- good job I already fed them.” I reply as I stand from the bed. “I’ll ask Carol to look after them. Come on, let’s go.” I urge as I come up to her and we both walk out the room. 

After getting my handgun out the armoury, Rosita and I headed out into the woods. I followed tracks from the tower, tracking them through the woods with Rosita keeping close to my side as we looked out for Sasha. 

“You know, it’s the first time I’ve been out since we’ve been here.” Rosita announces as we walked.

“Yeah, me too.” I reply. “It already feels different.” I state, and not really liking that it did.

“That’s good.” Rosita states.

“I don’t know.” I retort. 

There’s a brief pause as I concentrate on the tracks below before Rosita speaks up again. “After Eugene, after finding out he lied, I was screwed up, because I lost something. --Don’t tell me you’re now screwed up because we found something.” She declares.

“I’m not, it’s just--” I start, stopping and turning to face Rosita. “Noah’s dead. And with the people here, I think--- I suddenly feel like I’ve been asleep in there.” I explain.

“You were trying to forget so you could try.” Rosita assures.

“I wasn’t trying to forget. And I told myself I wouldn’t. I don’t wanna forget.” I clarify.

“So don’t. But that doesn’t mean you have to give up.” she affirms. “You didn’t bring your sword with you. That’s not nothing.” she points out.

“I’m not giving up.” I state. “I can’t.” I add as I turn to resume walking, and when I lok out ahead I suddenly notice a dead walker, in the direction ahead where the tracks had lead.

“Hey-- there.” I announce, pointing to the dead walker, and we both head over to it.

It was laying on the ground, front in the dirt and visibly shot dead from behind.

“Got it in the back of the head.” I evaluate.

“It had to be her.” Rosita says.

We carry on walking, following the faint tracks, until we come to another walker, draped over a broken tree stump, blood dripping from its head. It had ben recently killed, which she couldn’t be far.

“Back of the head.” I point out. “She’s hunting them.” I state.

-

Rick had found Deanna standing by the graves, and approached her with caution, but he wanted and needed to speak to her about Pete. It was something that had to be dealt with. 

“I’m sorry for what happened. How you holding up?” Rick consoles in his approach.

“I’m not.” She sombrely answers.

Rick doesn’t waste time in bringing it up. “We have a problem with Pete.” He announces.

Deanna takes a moment before replying. “I hoped it’d get better.” Deanna states.

Rick takes a few steps closer to Deanna, in stun that she knew exactly what he was talking about. “You knew?” he questions, and she gives him the tiniest of nods in confirmation.

“It hasn’t gotten better. It won’t.” Rick declares.

“Pete’s a surgeon. He’s saved lives. --Y/N’s. -He might be saving Tara’s life.” Deanna points out.

“He’s beating his wife. We have to stop it.” Rick affirms. 

“How?” Deanna asks.

“We separate them. We tell him that’s how it’ll be from now on.” Rick instructs.

“What happens when he doesn’t wanna do that?” Deanna probes as she steps closer to Rick.

“It’s not his choice.” Rick asserts.

“So what happens?” Deanna reiterates, trying to draw an answer out of him, wanting to know what it is he’d do.

Rick matches her stare. “I kill him.” He states. “We kill him.” He adds.

“We don’t kill people. This is civilisation, Rick.” Deanna establishes.

“Warning someone to stop or die, that is civilised nowadays.” Rick points out. “Oh.” Deanna scoffs. 

“So what? So we just let him hit her? We let him kill her?” Rick questions annoyed.

“No- we exile him if it comes to that.” Deanna clarifies.

“We do that, we don’t know when he comes back and what he does to ‘em. Letting him go makes this place vulnerable. You really wanna wait ‘till someone in that tower has to take care of it? And that’s if we’re lucky.” Rick explains.

“We are not- executing anyone. Don’t ever suggest it again. That sort of thinking doesn’t belong in here.” Deanna declares.

“People die now, Deanna. They do. There’s times like this you can decide who and when. Or it can be decided for you.” Rick points out.

“It already was.” Deanna states.

“I wouldn’t kill you. I’d just send you away.” She finishes, before walking off away from Rick.

-

“Nicholas, don’t talk, just listen.” Glenn announces to Nicholas standing by the back of the truck as he had walked up the van, the one they’d used for the run, seeing Nicholas was cleaning all the blood in the back that had come from Tara’s head wound. Nicholas turned to face Glenn.

“Those four people you lost on that run, that’s on you. And Noah-- that’s on you too. Those five lives, you have to carry that.” Glenn states. “People like you are supposed to be dead, but these walls went up just in time, so you’re not.” Glenn coldly points out.

They stare at each other for a brief moment, before Glenn continues. “You don’t go outside those walls anymore. Not by yourself, not with anyone else. And that’s how you’re gonna survive.” Glenn declares. 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Nicholas spits.

“I’m someone who knows who you are.” Glenn retorts. “I know what you did. And it’s not gonna happen again.” He adds. 

“I’ve been protecting this place, helping provide for it. You just got here.” Nicholas snaps.

“Don’t forget what I said.” Glenn asserts.

“Are you threatening me?” Nicholas questions.

Glenn scoffs lightly. “No. I’m saving you.” He states, before walking away from him.

-

Rosita and I follow the tracks and before long, we suddenly hear the sound of silenced gunshots up ahead and clock Sasha moving through the trees. We rush ahead to catch up to her, watching as she takes out a small cluster of walkers from behind with her sniper rifle. When she kills them all, she stands and then shoots one ahead in the near distance as we approach behind her.

“Sasha.” I call to get her attention.

She sighs. “Go back.” she orders as the faint sounds of walkers snarling comes into earshot from somewhere close ahead in the woods. 

“What are you doing?” Rosita questions as Sasha starts heading towards the sound, with us behind.

“I’m sick of playing defence.” She states sternly.

“So you’re just gonna take on all of ‘em.” I ask as we follow, my handgun in hand and Rosita’s knife in hers.

“Yeah.” She simply answers.

We soon come up to a much larger group of walkers, approaching us up front and Sasha drops her bag before taking aim and beginning to shoot them all in the head, one by one.

“We gotta get out of here.” Rosita announces, seeing there were maybe too many to handle.

“You do, I don’t.” Sasha retorts.

As we stand by Sasha’s side, she continues firing and taking down the walkers. But as she does, as they fall, I suddenly start seeing images of myself. I see myself taking down clusters of walker, wielding my katana and killing walkers with mighty swings. I had gotten good with it. I had gotten used to it. And now, a part of me missed it all. So, I lifted and aimed my handgun.

“I don’t need your help.” Sasha snaps, seeing me raise my gun.

“This isn’t for you.” I declare, before I start shooting at the walkers. Taking the ones left out, one shot to the head to the next. I notice Rosita join in, taking walkers out near her with her knife, when I hear snarls from behind. I turn and start shooting at the few walkers that had appeared, easily taking them out, before turning back around and resuming to shoot at the walkers up front. It was nice to see my aim hadn’t been lost.

Sasha suddenly ran out of bullets, with the last several walkers still coming at us, both from behind and in front. She fiddles with her clip as I continue shooting but has to kill a couple walkers coming up behind us with her knife when she is then all of a sudden taken down by a walker. Killing the last walkers, I look at hearing her hit the ground to see her managing to keep it away from her face but struggles to grab at her knife on the ground. I stride up to the side and quickly shoot the walker in the head, and Sasha discards its body to the side as Rosita comes up to us.

“I had it.” she snaps as I hold my hand out to her for her to get up. She slaps at it angrily. “I don’t need you help.” she spits before getting up to her feet panting. 

“I told you to go.” She glares, looking between Rosita and me and we just look back at her, with no glare or hard stare, seeing she was on a verge close to breaking down.

“You-- you can’t do anything.” Sasha starts, staring right through me, stepping up close to me. “It worked out for you. Don’t you see that?” she says, her voice breaking a little, and my heart a little too. “You can’t help me. Nobody--” she continues, but stops herself, tears forming in her eyes as she looked between us again.

“Noah-- back on the road-- I told him he wouldn’t make it.” she states, looking broken and the pain evident in every aspect of her. Neither of us knew what to say, so we said nothing, just stood there with her in silence for a moment. Feelings of sorrow, grief, pity and some guilt going around, before Sasha moved and started walking off, thankfully in the direction back towards Alexandria. Rosita followed after her, and after I glanced down at my gun, thinking about what had just happened and how I felt about it, I soon joined.

-

Rick knew something had to be done about Pete, and he wanted to help Jessie, to get her out of that situation, her kids out of it. It killed him to know that was happening to her and angered him that Deanna knew about it and had done nothing. So, he went to see Jessie, to talk to her, to try and help her.

“Jessie?” Rick says as he came up to her open garage around the back, seeing she was sat inside, smoking. Something he hadn’t seen her do before. That only made him think she was using it as an outlet. 

“Hey.” She greets, putting the cigarette out on a table.

“I don’t want Ron and Sam to know about those.” She informs as she stands to face Rick.

“Well, your secret’s safe.” Rick assures warmly, with a slight comforting smile. 

Jessie doesn’t return her usual warm and sunny disposition; her expression stays plain and sad. 

“Noah was a sweet kid.” She consoles. Jessie then sighs. “But Tara, she’s-- she’s in good hands with Pete.” She states.

“He’s hitting you.” Rick suddenly announces, causing Jessie’s look to turn into one of slight stun at hearing it. “He’s hurting you. It has to stop.” he adds.

Jessie takes a brief moment to muster a reply. “It will.” She declares. 

“How?” Rick questions.

“There are things in his life that happened-,” Jessie explains. “I don’t care.” Rick cuts off.

“Look, it was like this before and he got help. I helped him and things were good. I can fix it.” Jessie assures.

“No, you can’t. But I can.” Rick affirms.

Jessie shakes her head. “No, what-- what can you do? What are you gonna do? You gonna put him in jail?” She questions as she takes a few steps forward in exclamation towards Rick. “You’re only gonna make things worse.” She asserts.

“If it’s gotten worse, it means he’s killed you. That’s what’s next. And I’m not- I’m not gonna let that happen.” Rick states.

The two stare back at each other for a short moment. “Why do you care?” Jessie asks.

Rick says nothing, not being able to get the words out. “Why is this so important to you?” Jessie follows up. “Now? You made it. You have a home for your kids.” She declares. “Rick, what are you doing?” she questions.

“I’m trying to help.” Rick finally replies.

“I don’t know that.” Jessie says, looking at Rick with sadness in her eyes.

“I’m married.” She points out. “Okay? I can take care of myself.” She affirms before turning to leave. “We have to take care of ourselves.” She adds as she walks through the garage back into her house, clicking the button to close the garage door as she leaves. Rick steps back out as the door comes down and then leaves to come back out front onto the streets. He stops in the small centre crossroad of the streets, right by Jessie’s house at the end of it. Looking around he sees people and kids carrying out their lives as if nothing were going wrong in this place. Chatting happily. Playing around. Two people had died yesterday. And after what happened with Y/N and Richard, everyone knew what he had done to her, and yet they were all okay with Deanna’s decision of letting them stay, they were happy knowing he was here living around them. His anger started to rise the more he looked around at the people. He wondered if they knew the truth about Jessie and Pete, if they’d want to do anything about it, or even care. He suddenly found himself heading straight for Jessie’s front door.

As Rick marched into Jessie’s house, he saw her standing in her living room, crying.

“What are you doing?” She questions as he comes to stand in front of her.

“You know Sam asked for a gun? To protect you.” Rick announces, making Jessie’s face scrunch a little in shock and emotion at hearing it.

“You shouldn’t be here.” She states through her cries.

“Jessie, in here, you can’t see it, but it’s the same. It’s the same as out there. We have food and roofs over our heads, but you don’t get to just live. You don’t get to put it off or wish it away, Jessie. If you don’t fight, you die.” Rick a little desperately explains, as Jessie stifles her cries. “And-- and I don’t want you to die.” Rick adds tenderly, stepping closer to her.

“I can-- I can help you. I can keep you and your boys safe.” Rick gently assures. “I can.” He adds. “All you have to do is say yes.” He points out as they both stare into each other’s eyes, their emotions raw and visible.

“Would you do this for someone else?” Jessie asks, almost whispering. “Would you do this for anyone?” She follows up.

Rick takes a moment, working his way up to answer. “No.” he softly replies.

Jessie takes a light gulp, letting out a small sigh. “Yes.” She whispers. 

“Rick.” Pete suddenly says from across the room. Both of them look over, seeing him come into the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” Pete questions as he starts making his way through the kitchen.

“Pete.” Jessie says, visibly nervous. “What are you doing here?” He repeats, a bit more sternly. 

“Listen to me.” Jessie starts stepping forward. “I’m gonna have to ask you leave, Rick.” Pete asserts.

“No.” Jessie retorts.

“Excuse me?” Pete breathes, an evil smile on his face as he steps forward in front of Jessie.

“You need to leave.” Jessie states.

“What are you talking about?” Pete asks.

“Just go, Pete.” Jessie urges.

“What have you been saying to each other? Huh?” Pete spits, looking between the two. “What have you been doing?!” He exclaims forcibly, making Jessie jolt back a step in reflex.

“Pete, you and me are gonna leave now.” Rick announces.

“You come into my house--,” Pete spits as he brushes past Jessie walking over to Rick.. “Pete, you and me are leaving.” Rick reiterates.

“You think you’re the law? You actually think you have a say in anything here?” Pete snaps as steps in front of Rick.

“Step back.” Rick orders.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Pete grills, getting in Rick’s face.

“Someone who’s trying not to kill you.” Rick sternly retorts and Pete suddenly swings at him. “No!” Jessie exclaims as Rick dodges it, then swiftly sends a blow straight back at Pete. He hits him in the face, but it doesn’t stop him from retaliating right back, and Pete quickly swings his fist striking Rick across the face.

“You wanna stop now!” Rick warns just as Pete grabs him and pushes him back through the living room into a wall. Both of them have a hold on each other, struggling against one another. “Come into my house?!” Pete exclaims, as he slams Rick’s head against the wall. “Pete, stop it!” Jessie calls. “It’s my house!” he continues, as he slams Rick’s head. “Pete, stop it!” Jessie repeats.

Rick then manages to get another grip on Pete and pushes him back, along with himself, sending them both over the couch onto the floor. Their fight resumes, along with Jessie’s exclaims of protest, fighting until Rick ultimately shouts as he charges back at Pete, sending them both smashing through the living room window onto the porch. It doesn’t stop either of them from fighting nor does the people rushing over from hearing the commotion. They hit each other, grab, push, until they’re in the road of the street, people gathered around at a distance watching, unsure what to do. Scared. Rick was on top of Pete, his face bloodied, as they struggled against each other on the ground, until Pete turned it over, his face also bloodied, and he was now on top of Rick. Jessie suddenly intervenes, trying to pull Pete off of Rick but he swings his arm back, his fist hitting her in the face hard and sending her back to the ground. In that moment, Rick manages to knee Pete with force and get back on top of him.

“Dad, get off!” Carl panickily urges, grabbing at his jacket and arm, but Rick just pushes him away forcibly. In doing so, Pete gets a punch in to Rick’s face, but it doesn’t budge him and Rick then moves his position. Getting his arm around Pete’s neck, he slides off to his side, holding him in a strong chokehold. 

“Stop it! Stop it right now!” Deanna pants, arriving at the same time as some others, having run over. 

“You touch ‘em again and I’ll kill you.” Rick scorns, still holding Pete in the chokehold.

“Damn it, Rick! I said stop!” Deanna yells.

As he sits up over Pete, Tobin and Nicholas take a step forward to help Pete, who was now crawling away, but are stopped when Rick suddenly pulls a gun from behind him on everyone in front. “Or what?” he spits as he pulls and cocks the gun. “You gonna kick me out?” He snaps.

Nearly everyone holds their hands out at the sight. “Put that gun down, Rick.” Deanna orders calmly.

Rick pants, not complying. “You still don’t get it.” Rick points out, waving the gun about. “None of you do!” He shouts, looking around at everyone gathered as he sat on his knees in the road. His people looked concerned, but the others who lived here, they just looked scared. But he didn’t care. They needed to learn.

-

When we had arrived back at Alexandria, I was glad to be back. The day had entailed a whirlwind of emotions already. I’d doubted the place and the people, and our reality in it, I had found that a part of me missed being out there in the open, but ultimately I realised that despite it all, we had what we needed here. Being out there, I saw that I could still be that person, and then come back and be the person I was here, inside the walls. I wouldn’t forget one when I was the other, not now. Not anymore. We had everything to make it better here for everyone. Coming back in, I let my doubts drain away after I felt the feeling of being glad to be back. And that was something. 

Sasha had insisted on going back up into the guard tower, and both Rosita and I tried to tell her she didn’t have to, but it seemed there was no telling her and she went regardless. The two of us walked along the wall towards the gate from the guard tower, discussing what were going to have to do with Sasha when Abraham spotted us and whistled at us for our attention, gesturing for us to hurry up. When we got to the gate, he was already opening it up for us.

After he had explained that there had not long been a crash heard from somewhere inside and he saw people running towards it, he urged us to go see what it was all about, not that he needed to. We were already starting to move and rush away as he spoke. We had ran up the street away from the gate, when we started to hear shouting in the distance. And it was Rick’s voice. We followed it around to see a crowd gathered around Rick in the centre of the streets, kneeling on the road as I started to hear what he was yelling at everyone. 

“We know what needs to be done and we do it. We’re the ones who live. You!-- you just sit and plan and hesitate. You pretend like you know when you don’t.” Rick yells, as Rosita and I continue to rush up the road and I clock he’s waving a gun about as he points and gestures with it, seemingly staring at Deanna. “You wish things weren’t what they are. Well, you wanna live? You want this place to stay standing? Your way of doing things is done.” Rick exclaims. “Things don’t get better because you-- you want them to. Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. We have to control who lives here.” Rick explains as Rosita and I come to a stop, standing with the crowd as we look on at a bloodied faced Rick. What the hell was going on? Looking around people looked scared, our people just looked shocked and concerned more than anything. Then I noticed Pete sat on the ground, his face also bloody. So this had escalated from a fight, clearly.

“That’s never been more clear to me than it is right now.” Deanna states.

“Me? Me? You--,” Rick starts, gesturing to himself. He laughs. “You mean-- you mean me?” He questions. Rick was beside himself; he’d gone off the edge. No one knew what to do, and I could see even Glenn and Michonne looked as if they didn’t know what to do with Rick. I had to do something. He needed to be stopped. He needed to cool down.

“Your way is gonna destroy this place. It’s gonna get people killed. It’s already gotten people killed. And I’m not gonna stand by and just let it happen.” Rick declares as I decide that enough is enough, so I march quickly over. “If you don’t fight, you die. I’m not gonna stand by--,” Rick continues, but is cut short when I punch the side of his head as hard as I can with a grunt, sending him to the ground. It was the only way we were going to get him to calm down and deescalate the situation. Rick needed to be removed from this. As he laid on the road, unconscious, I sigh feeling slightly bad for hitting him so hard, but it had to be done. I pick the gun up, the one he shouldn’t have had, and I didn’t know he did. The slight guilt left as I looked at it in my hand. What had he been doing? What had he just done? And what did this mean for him now? For us? As I looked at Deanna, I saw relief that he had been stopped, that the gun was out of his hands, but also a frustration. What was going to come next?


	28. twenty eight

When Rick finally woke it was morning, he had been out the rest of the day and through the night. I guess I hit him a little too hard. The room was dimly lit as it was a small, empty space beneath an unfinished townhouse, with only a couple small windows up top that allowed some light to shine in from the ground outside. It had become an unofficial holding cell after the fight to put Rick in at Deanna’s insistence. As Rick woke with a groan, he leant up into a sit on the small mattress he was laying on, rubbing his eyes before looking at his sides and above, taking in his surroundings he’d found himself in. For a brief moment he just sits there before he then chuckles lightly to himself and lays back down on the mattress and pillow with a groan.

“What’s so funny?” I ask, and Rick suddenly looks over to see me sat in the corner, watching over him.

“You been here the whole time?” He questions as he leans back up.

“All night.” I answer. “Michonne came in a couple times whilst I checked the kids with Carl. But other than that-- all night.” I elaborate. 

“What’s so funny?” I repeat as Rick sits himself up properly.

“It’s-- it’s like the train car at Terminus.” Rick starts. “After the whole thing-- I’m still there.” He explains, pulling himself to sit up against the wall.

“Deanna wanted you in here, calm things down. Rosita patched you up.” I announce. “Carl came by for a while, when I fed the kids-- then I sent him home.” I add and Rick just nods.

“Rick.” I say as I stand and pull the chair over, closer to him at the end of the mattress before sitting back down in it again. “What are you doing?” I ask. He just sighs, still nothing. 

I lean back in my chair, as my stare keeps hold, serious and a little disappointed.

“We put Pete in another house.” I declare. “You know, when I said find a way to stop him-- all of that out there-- not what I meant.” I point out.

“Well-- it all just moved so fast. --I mean Noah, and then all that.” He replies as I look at him slightly unimpressed.

“I seem to recall someone punching a man in the street about a week ago.” Rick retorts. 

“Not the same. --I didn’t throw him through a window, nor did I point a gun at everyone-- a gun you shouldn’t have had.” I state.

“I couldn’t tell you about the gun.” Rick relents. 

“No, you couldn’t.” I disappoint reply, the hint of annoyance coming through in my tone.

“Oh, you wanted this place.” Rick counters.

“We had to stop being out there.” I defend.

Rick glances around the room. “Well-- we’re here.” he says.

I scoff at his words. “Well, you just said you weren’t.” I point out, referring to why he had chuckled to himself, before the door to the room opened and Glenn, Carol and Abraham walk in.

“Where’d you get the gun?” I ask as they all come to stand before Rick and I.

“You took it, right? From the armoury?” Carol theorises. “That was stupid. Why did you do it?” she questions as Rick stares back at her.

“Just in case.” Rick answers, but it felt too vague. I wasn’t sure if I believed that was just it. 

“Deanna’s planning to have a meeting tonight. For anyone who wants to.” Glenn announces.

“To kick Rick out?” Abraham chimes.

“To try.” Carol says.

“We don’t know that.” Glenn asserts. “Maggie’s with Deanna right now. She’s gonna find out what it is.” He informs.

“At the meeting, you say you were worried about someone being abused and no one was doing anything about it. You say you took a gun just to be sure that Jessie was safe from a man who wound up attacking you. You say you’ll do whatever you want them to. Just tell them a story that they wanna hear.” Carol puts forward. “It’s what I’ve been doing since I got here.” she adds.

“Why?” I ask, realising she never actually said exactly why she was playing this façade. 

“Because these people are children and children like stories.” Carol explains.

“What happens after all the nice words and they still try to kick him out?” Abraham questions. 

“They’re guarding the armoury now.” Glenn notifies. 

“We still have knives. That’s all we’ll need against them.” Carol points out.

“Well, tonight at the meeting-- if it looks like it’s going bad, I whistle.” Rick proclaims. “Carol grabs Deanna, I take Spencer, you grab Reg.” Rick instructs, gesturing at me. “Glenn and Abraham cover us, watch the crowd.” He adds. 

“We can talk to them.” I affirm. This was escalating too quickly, jumping too far ahead.

“Yeah, we will.” Rick assures. “If we can’t get through, we take the three of them and say we’ll slit their throats.” He continues, taking me by surprise at his disturbingly cool deliverance at announcing we slit their throats. It was shocking. This wasn’t us. Far from it.

“Like at Terminus?” Glenn disapprovingly questions. 

“No, we just tell ‘em.” Rick clarifies. “They give us the armoury and it’s over.” He declares. I was glad to hear that he didn’t want to actually slit their throats, but I still couldn’t help but wonder if it really came down to it, would he truly go through with it. Maybe we had been out there too long. Maybe everything we had lost and been through had gotten too much.

“Did you want this?” I ask.

“No.” Rick replies. “I hit my limit. I-- I screwed up.” He admits. “And here we are.” He adds. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m just gonna sleep some more.” He announces as he manoeuvres himself to lay back down on the mattress. As he lays on his side I get up and the four of us leave him.

-

“Maggie, hey. She’s out on the porch.” Reg informs Maggie, stood waiting in Deanna’s house to talk to her. The two of them walk out and onto the porch where Deanna was waiting. 

“What do you need to talk about, Maggie?” Deanna asks.

“The meeting tonight.” Maggie answers.

“Maggie, if we could talk--,” Reg starts but Deann interrupts. “I want to talk to everyone about what happened and what we need to do about it.” She asserts.

“If it includes sending Rick away, it’s not gonna work.” Maggie declares.

“Tell me what that means.” Deanna urges.

“You let Rick in. You let all of us in. You talked to us. You decided.” Maggie starts. “And now you want to put that decision on a group of very frightened people who may not have the whole story. That’s not leadership.” Maggie explains. 

“Tonight is just a forum. It’s just for people to say their piece.” Reg points out.

“And I’ll make the decision as I’ve done since the beginning.” Deanna states.

“He was frustrated. The thing’s he’s seen. The thing’s he’s lost. The things we have all lost.” Maggie defends.

“The thing’s you’ve lost?” Deanna pokes a little, the grief of her son still hurting.

“We’ve all lost family, Deanna.” Maggie retorts. “And we’ve lost so much more.” She adds.

“Rick took a gun and he pointed it at people.” Deanna scorns.

“He didn’t pull the trigger.” Maggie points out.

“That’s a metric? That he didn’t pull the trigger?” Deanna sceptically questions.

Maggie nods. “Yes.” She confirms, making Deanna scoff.

“Y/N stopped him, Deanna.” Reg chimes. “Y/N did.” He says calmly, easing Deanna.

“I’m gonna do what I have to do, Maggie.” Deanna announces and turns away, which in turn makes Maggie march away off the porch.

“Maggie.” Reg calls out before he goes after her. “Look, Maggie.” he calls as he descends the porch stairs, stopping her at the bottom, and making her turn back.

“The cavemen, they were all nomads. And, um, they all died. Then we evolved into this and we lived.” Reg starts and Maggie just looks at him, waiting for the point. “Civilisation starts when we stop running. When we live together. When we stop sending people away, from the world and from each other. That’s what I’m gonna tell her. that’s what I’m gonna tell everyone. Okay?” Reg warmly states. Maggie gives him a nod in acknowledgement before she then walks away.

-

“Wake up.” Carol says as she pokes Rick from his sleep, sitting on the end of the mattress. 

He looks over his shoulder to see her and pulls himself up to a sit. 

“It’s good what happened last night.” Carol announces. “We have more cover now. all of them think you’ve been found out, that it’s over.” She explains, before pulling out another gun and holding it out for him to take.

Rick looks at it, before looking back to her as he takes it. “Why didn’t you wanna tell ‘em we had more guns?” Rick questions. 

“Y/N stopped you. She knocked you out. Hard.” Carol points out, as if it were obvious. 

“Well, I deserved it.” Rick relents.

“Well, it was stupid.” Carol admits.

“She’s with us. Glenn is.” Rick assures.

“I didn’t tell them about the guns just in case.” Carol states.

Rick sighs. “I don’t wanna lie anymore.” He declares.

“You said you don’t wanna take this place. And you don’t wanna lie?” Carol says. “Oh, sunshine, you don’t get both.” She asserts patronisingly.

-

Daryl and Aaron had been tracking a man they had spotted, he was alone and in a red poncho, and they’d been following and listening to him for the past day. They had gone out far and been out longer than they thought. It was now the third day and they actually now lost the guy. They’d also come across something disturbing along the way. It was a cluster of dismembered limbs and body parts scattered around a patch of grass in the woods, followed by what was truly disturbing. It was a woman tied and bound naked dead to a tree. Her guts had been sliced open and she had quite obviously also been fed on. He pulled her head up and noticed a ‘W’ carved onto her head and was suddenly reminded of the one he’d seen with Rick and Carol before. He also noticed that it had all basically just happened, so that meant there were clearly bad people around, but it didn’t stop them in continuing their search for the lost man. Until they came across a canned food company building.

“We checked the forest, we checked the roads. We can’t find him. Sometimes they slip away. It happens.” Aaron announces as Daryl looks into the gated courtyard with his binoculars. It had a group of large food trucks which was now guarded with walkers stumbling around the fenced yard. “But-- you don’t come across something like this every day.” Aaron states as the two of them stand by the gate looking in.

“We do this now, it means we’re givin’ up.” Daryl declares.

“Home is 50 miles back. It’s time to go. You saw it last night. There’s bad people out here.” Aaron points out.

“That’s why we ought to keep lookin’ for the good ones.” Daryl retorts.

“We need more people and we’ll find them. But when we do, we’ll need to feed them.” Aaron counters. 

Daryl glances at Aaron, who was looking at him adamant they should do this. As he looks back at the courtyard, he unsheathes his knife from his belt. “Alright.” Daryl agrees and then bangs on the metal pole on the chain link gate to get the walkers attention. 

Soon after, one by one, the two of them stab the walkers through the gate, killing them all before pulling it open and heading inside. After walking across the courtyard, they came up to the food trucks, finding three parked along side each other in a loading dock. The place looked somewhat messy and derelict. There was crap scattered across the courtyard, as well as a couple abandoned cars parked randomly near the trucks. It was old and abandoned but something just seemed too precise about it all to Daryl. 

Coming up the ramp, when they come to stand behind the trucks, along the platform in which they could open them and get inside, Aaron chuckles to himself. “Whoa.” He says as he bends down at the back of the first truck, making Daryl turn to look what he was looking at. “Wasn’t sure I’d ever see one of these.” Aaron smiles as he sits on his knees and starts prying the Alaskan license plate from the truck. “Yeah.” Daryl mutters as he turns back around and starts walking along the platform, looking around it.

“Hey, listen, I don’t like giving up either, but the guy is in a red poncho. You can see him from a mile away.” Aaron states as he manages to get the license plate off. “We’ve gone a lot of miles here. And no sign of him. But--” Aaron continues as he stands back up. “We come away with a trailer full of cans, I’d say that’s a good trip.” Aaron reassures as he comes up to the last truck where Daryl was. 

“Mmhmm.” Daryl mumbles in agreement as he steps closer to the truck. “Here we go.” He says, bending down to pull open the trailer. He crouches to one knee as he gets the latch to open, but as soon as he unlocks it, the trailer door flies up open revealing no canned foods, just walkers. Immediately Daryl and Aaron move to flee back but the door set off the others. It was trap. The first had set off a chain reaction to open the others. Seeing this the both of them have to suddenly flee down in between the trucks as the walkers begin to quickly pour out each truck after them.

Coming out from in between the trucks, the trap had obviously set off others, as walkers were now pouring out other trucks around, swarming and blocking their exit. Whoever did this had planned it well. Daryl and Aaron fight against the walkers, stabbing and swinging at the ones closest, but are quickly forced back between the trucks and subsequently under one to get away from all the walkers crowding. Daryl suddenly notices on the walkers trying to crawl under that they have the ‘W’s on their foreheads too but doesn’t have time to think as he finds a chain and grabs it. He urges Aaron to follow out the other side, where less walkers seemed to be. Coming to stand back up he drops his crossbow as three walkers come down the ramp at Daryl and he swiftly and skilfully whips the chain at their heads, cutting all three of them off. Now discarding the chain, he picks his crossbow back up as Aaron is attacked off guard from behind by a walker. Daryl is quick to grab it, and promptly stabs its head. Both of them rush back out from the trucks to try and get away, but walkers are still swarming the courtyard and them. Daryl has to aggressively shove his way through to the car close by, the only immediate idea he had, with Aaron doing the same behind as they wouldn’t have the time to continuously stab through them. 

“Come on. Go!” Aaron urges panicked as Daryl opens and clambers into the car with urgency. Aaron gets inside as Daryl gets to the opposite seat, and he slams the door to close, but a walkers head gets caught in the slam stoppig it from shutting. However, after a few slams against it, it is quick to crush and fall away, allowing the door to close. 

As the two sit in the front of the car, Daryl still grasping his knife in his hand, they look around at the walkers all around clawing and thudding at the car.

“The glass will hold for a while, right?” Aaron questions hopefully.

“Maybe.” Daryl answers. “Maybe we make it so they can’t see us.” He suggests. “In a couple hours, somethin’ will come by, they’ll follow it out.” He points out. “There’s gotta be somethin’ in here we can use to block the view. We can cut up these seats.” Daryl continues as they look around the car.

Aaron then finds a crumpled up note down the side of his seat, and opens it in curiosity, but isn’t pleased by what he finds. It reads ‘trap’, ‘bad people coming’ and ‘don’t stay’. What made it just that bit worse was the pen that been used to write had clearly run out on ‘coming’ as it turned into blood rather than ink, using that to write the rets of the words. Aaron shows Daryl and they both look at each other in worry and slight panic as they sit in this car, trapped. 

-

Pete sat in the house he had been placed in, an empty one where he sat alone drinking. Resentful of everything and everyone, but mostly Rick. If not, just him. He was disturbed when a knock sounded from the front door and when he opened it, Carol came striding in without a word of invitation from him, holding a dish with cooked food in.

“What the hell are you doing?” Pete scorns as Carol pushes the door shut with a swing as she comes to stand in the hall. 

“You need to check on Tara. You treated her. You’re a surgeon. You need to do that.” Carol asserts as Pete steps forward towards her.

“Get out.” he spits.

Carol then takes out her knife, hidden by her cardigan and holds it out in front of her, between the two of them as they stand in the hall. “I could kill you right now.” She states and Pete just looks at her unconvinced. “I could. --I will.” She affirms, holding the knife up higher at him. “And then who would believe I did it because I didn’t like you?” She continues as she holds the tip of the knife against Pete’s chin with slight pressure, making him tense up against the banister railing of the stairs. “No one.” Carol answers herself.

She holds him there for a moment in silence. “They’d believe you tried to hurt me. definitely believe that.” Carol points out before retracting her knife away quickly, drawing the tiniest scratch of blood from under his chin, making Pete gasp at the movement and relinquish of the hold. 

Carol stares at the silent Pete, not moving under her gaze. “Come at me.” she urges as she still hold her knife up between them and she can see the resentment, the anger in his eyes but he does nothing. “No? –Yeah?” She says.

“No.” she contends.

“The way this has played out, you have a chance.” Carol announces. “You’re here. Your wife’s there.” She follows up. “You’re a small, weak nothing. And with the world how it is-- you’re even weaker.” She states. “Play your cards right, maybe you don’t have to die.” Carol finishes and thrusts the dish of food into his hands before turning to leave for the door.

“And I want my dish back clean when you’re done.” Carol orders sternly as she puts her knife back into her belt under the cover of her cardigan before opening the door and leaving. 

Pete doesn’t move for a second, he just stands there briefly, before letting go of the dish and dropping it to the floor and stepping back into the living room, on the verge of a breakdown. 

“This isn’t my house.” He scowls.

Pete pulls at a bookcase, bringing it down and crashing onto other furniture. “This isn’t my house!” he exclaims before he starts tearing at the living room. 

-

After finally leaving the underground room beneath the unfinished townhouse, Rick had gone home to clean himself up a bit. He’d seen and talked to Carl, who had asserted that this place was their home now and the people needed them, that he needed to talk to them, they needed to hear him. After that, he thought to go see Jessie. Everything aside, he just wanted to know she was okay after it all. 

When he came up to her house, she was making an effort in clearing up her broken window, and when she saw him come onto the porch, she let out a sigh.

“You should go.” Jessie points out pitifully. 

“I just wanted to check on you.” Rick announces, and Jessie nods in reply, chewing the inside of her lip a little as she does.

“Your eye.” Rick points out, seeing the faint but still noticeable bruise that had formed by her eye. 

“He did it right when it was happening. It wasn’t you.” Jessie assures.

The two look at one another, unsure of what to say or do.

“People shouldn’t see us talking right now.” Jessie points out. 

“I’m not sorry I did it.” Rick establishes. “No matter what happens, or what I have to do.” He adds.

Jessie nods before Rick turns to leave and takes the first step to do so. “Don’t turn around, Rick.” Jessie says, stopping him and he doesn’t like she said.

“You were right.” She states. Rick glances slightly back over his shoulder before he leaves the porch.

-

Sitting in the car with the snarling and thudding walkers outside clawing to get in, and with the added threat of ‘bad people’ coming at some point, Daryl chuckles lightly to himself, a little dishearteningly, at a realisation from the current situation him and Aaron had found themselves in.

“What?” Aaron probes at hearing him. 

“I came out here to-- not feel all closed up back there.” Daryl announces. “What I have with Y/N—best thing I coulda asked for. She’s made me better, ya know. I’d do anythin’ for her. And what we got back there-- it’s good for her, and the kids.” He explains. “But-- even right now-- this still feels more like me-- then back at them houses.” He admits. “That’s pretty messed up, huh?” Daryl points out.

“You were trying.” Aaron reassures.

“I had to.” Daryl retorts. 

“No, you didn’t.” Aaron counters.

“Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road. Then you went off on your own, and Y/N came to you by that barn. I saw that.” Aaron informs. “The storm hit-- and you both led your people to safety. --You did.” He continues, as Daryl just listens, taking it in as he nibbled the inside of his mouth. Something Aaron had noticed he did when someone paid him a compliment or just a generally positive remark. “It was Y/N that made me finally see you were good guys. And it was you that made me finally see I had to bring you people back.” Aaron declares, but Daryl says nothing, not knowing what to say to that.

“You were right. We should have kept looking for that guy in the poncho. I shouldn’t have given up.” Aaron relents. “You didn’t.” he adds.

Daryl still sits in silence, with no response, but having listened to Aaron’s words, he ponders on their exit plan. Knowing exactly what he has to do, he takes a cigarette and from his jacket pocket and grabs his lighter from the inside. “I’ll go.” He states, making Aaron look at him curiously. “I’ll lead ‘em out. You make a break for the fence.” He elaborates, speaking with the cigarette between his lips before lighting it.

“No, no, no. This was my fault.” Aaron argues.

“It wasn’t a question.” Daryl asserts. “And this ain’t your decision. It ain’t nobody’s fault.” Daryl continues. “Just let me finish my smoke first.” Daryl finishes sombrely. 

“You do this-- what exactly am I meant to say to Y/N when I get back?” Aaron points out.

Daryl exhales a drag. “She’ll understand. She’d do the same thing.” He answers, trying to hide the hint of sadness in his tone by taking another drag. 

Aaron stares at him, not liking the idea one bit. “No. You don’t draw them away.” Aaron protests. “We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together. Alright? Whether we make it or not-- we do it together. We have to.” He declares. “That’s what Y/N would want.” Aaron adds. Daryl matches his stare now, yet again being swayed by his words. And he takes one last drag. “Alright.” He agrees with a nod.

“You ready?” Daryl urges as he discards his cigarette. “Yeah.” Aaron replies and they both ready themselves in their seat, holding their weapons. 

“We’ll go on three.” Daryl announces.

“One-- two--,” He starts counting but stops when they both suddenly hear the loud thud of something hit the window and see at Aaron’s that a walker was just killed through the head. Stabbed with something coming through the eye and hitting the window. His door is then suddenly opened by someone and Aaron gets out to see a man attacking the walkers around the car. Aaron starts killing them as Daryl climbs out the car after him and joins at taking down the ones in their path. The three quickly make their way over to the gate the guy had opened and come through in the fence, with the guy being the last one to get through. Aaron and Daryl close the gate instantly, securing it, stopping the onslaught of walkers getting out after them. 

They both turn to face the man now standing before them, wiping his wooden stick of the walker blood covered at each end. 

“That was-- oh-- thank you.” Aaron pants in admiration and thanks to the man as Daryl kept quiet for the moment observing the stranger, who nods in response to Aaron.

“I’m Aaron, this is Daryl.” Aaron introduces, gesturing between them.

The man looks from one to the other. “Morgan.” He greets.

“Why?” Daryl questions, wondering why he took the risk to help them. Strangers.

“Why? Because all life is precious, Daryl.” Morgan answers, with a slight smile.

“Whoever set that trap, they’re coming. But, um, I have good news. We do.” Aaron announces. “I, um, dropped my pack in there which proves it, but-- we have a community not too far from here. walls, electricity, it’s safe. If you’d like to come join us--,” Aaron starts of his recruitment speech, but Morgan interrupts. “I thank you.” he interjects. “But I’m on my way somewhere. Fact is, I’m lost, so--,” Morgan informs as he pulls a map from his pocket. “--If you could tell me where we are.” He asks and hands the map over to Daryl. 

Unfolding the map, Daryl spots writing on it, reading ‘Sorry I was an asshole. Come to Washington. The new world’s gonna need Rick Grimes.’. The shock realisation hit him when he read the words. With everything that had gone on before Alexandria, back at Gabriel’s church, when he and Y/N had gone to Atlanta, this must have been from then. Back when Washington was the goal. But how did this guy have this? Daryl looked up from the map to Morgan as it suddenly clicked. He remembered the name from Rick and Y/N’s conversations. This had to be him.


	29. twenty nine

When Glenn had spotted Nicholas climbing the wall, he had followed him. He knew he would only get himself into trouble, and he wondered why exactly he was even sneaking out in the first place. so, he followed after him and in the direction he went through the woods. Until, after a while, he saw no sign of him and when he stopped to scan around, he suddenly was shot in the shoulder, sending him back into a ditch. He immediately crawled along it in pain, knowing it had to be Nicholas and even if it wasn’t, he couldn’t be laying there when the shooter appeared to finish the job. 

After getting away unnoticed by Nicholas, he kept his eye on him as he marched through the woods looking around for him. Waiting for his moment to catch him off guard, and he took that moment when a walker appeared. Nicholas aimed his gun at the walker that was staggering towards him, but lowered it and raised his knife, realising it would be quieter. However, at the last moment changes his mind, cowardly, and chooses the easy way of shooting it in the head. After the shot, Glenn comes suddenly charging at Nicholas, forcing and pushing him against a tree which makes him drop his weapons in the motion. Struggling against each other, Glenn starts to punch Nicholas in the gut before sending a blow to his face. He then gets the upper hand by pushing his thumb into Glenn’s bullet wound and forces him back against another tree as he exclaims in pain. Nicholas gets a few punches in before Glenn gets a hold of him and tackles him to the ground. Holding him down, he gets on his feet and then stomps hard on one of Nicholas’ legs, injuring it, making him yell out in agony but he manages to push Glenn back on the ground, and get on top of him. Hitting him a couple times, before holding him down and pressing his thumb into the bullet wound again, making Glenn scream out. As they struggle against each other on the ground, Glenn suddenly notices a walker approaching and when Nicholas realises, he rises quickly off Glenn and stumbles as quickly as he can away, leaving him for dead. Glenn doesn't even have time to get up before the walker falls to its knees over him. As he holds it off, a couple more walkers approach.

-

When Gabriel had left Alexandria, he had told Spencer on gate duty he was just going for a walk. But in reality, he had completely lost all faith in everything, but mostly himself. He was going out there to end it. Spencer had pointed out that he didn’t have a gun to protect himself, and he simply replied that the protection of God was all he needed. He lied. Out in the woods, he came across a walker feasting on a person. Approaching it, he calls out to get its attention, for it to come and get him as he held his arms out. But when it did start approaching him, when it came right close, he suddenly had a change of heart and struggled against it. The walker had a broken noose around its neck, and Gabriel managed to turn it around and pull on the rope, ultimately taking it’s head off. When he walked over to the body the walker had been feasting on, he found the man still alive, just clinging onto life. Out of mercy, he took a rock and bashed his skull, but in doing so makes him break down, and he laid on the ground sobbing for he didn’t even know how long. 

After a while, when he had somewhat composed himself, he pulled himself up and took himself back to Alexandria. Not feeling any better than when he had left, and when he got back, it was still Spencer on gate duty.

“You’re back.” Spencer says as he opens the gate for Gabriel. “Good, just wanted to sneak off to the meeting.” He announces, before turning around, but stops himself and turns back to Gabriel. 

“You think we could find some time to talk later? About Aiden? Just some things I need to say and I’m not sure who I can say them too. I don’t really have anyone here right now, if you know what I mean.” Spencer requests. 

“I’ll see.” Gabriel reluctantly answers but tries to hide it. 

“Cool.” Spencer replies as he starts stepping back. “Can you get that?” He asks, pointing to the gate for him to close it, so he could sneak off to the meeting as he’d said. 

“Yeah.” Gabriel mutters. “Thank you.” Spencer says as he turns and walks off.

Gabriel steps over to the gate and grabs to pull it across. He pulls at it with one force of motion, not very hard in his somewhat dazed and pitiful mood, as he watches Spencer walk away. The gate glides shut at Gabriel’s pull and push as he starts to step away but as it hits where it shuts, it slides back, leaving an open gate. In Gabriel’s dazed ignorance, he doesn’t look back to see if it definitely closes, nor does it lock it or close the secondary gate. He just walks away. 

-

The meeting was starting soon, and to be honest I didn’t know how it was going to go. But from what Maggie had relayed to us, Deanna was not happy, and I got why. But what happened didn’t account to exiling Rick. After the conversation we had in the holding room, I wanted to talk to Rick before it started, and I found him in his room sitting on the edge of the bed, clearly deep in thought as he looked down to his lap.

“Rick.” I say to get his attention. “You ready?” I ask.

He glances over at me in the doorway, before looking back to his lap.

“Carol, Daryl, and me--,” Rick starts as I step into the room to come stand by him. “We worked it out together.” He states. “Carol took some guns from the armoury. I have one, she has one.” Rick announces, finally looking to his side at me as I notice the gun in his hand, in his lap.

I nod in acknowledgement and realisation. “That’s why you three were going outside the walls, wasn’t it? Why you wouldn’t tell me what for?” I question, initially slightly annoyed to hear that Daryl hadn’t said anything to me either, but it was hardly worth something to be annoyed over.

“I asked him not to say anything.” Rick defends, clearly sensing my slight annoyance at first. “Besides-- he wasn’t on board with it in the end anyway. You shouldn’t hold it against him.” He adds. 

“Do you think I would?” I ask, a little surprised to hear him say that. He looks over at me at my question. “Do you think I’m holding it against you?” I follow up. 

Rick sighs as he shakes his head, his eyes glazing to his lap before looking back up at mine. “We- I lied to you because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it, what you’d do.” Rick admits as he holds his gun out for me take away.

I stare down at the gun he’s holding in front of me and sigh myself before bringing my gaze back up onto him. “You think I’d try to stop you? I question, not taking the gun. 

Rick lowers it to the bed. “Well, you did hit me over the head.” He points out, a hint of joking in his voice, but it wasn’t the time. 

“That was for you, not them.” I state.

Rick rises from the bed and takes a couple steps to stand in front of me. “I was afraid you’d talk me out of it.” He relents. “You could’ve.” He gently assures.

I look at him with a warm expression at his admittance. “We don’t need them here. I don’t need my sword. I think you can find a way. We can find a way. And if we don’t-- I’m still with you. Like always. And don’t you forget it, Rick.” I announce, and he stares back with a soft, sincere expression at hearing my words.

“Something’s gonna happen. Just don’t make something happen.” I add. 

Rick holds the gun between us again and as I look down at it I push his hand back down to his side for him to keep it. I give him a small smile, as I gently squeeze his hand over the gun, before turning and heading out the room. “Don’t be too long.” I urge as I leave the room. 

-

After Y/N had left the room, Rick had put the gun into the back of his jeans and stood at the window, debating thoughts swirling in his head as he fought his survivor instincts against Y/N’s words. But after a moment, having been looking out the window, all of that was gone when he noticed the gate in the distance. It was far away but it was in view through the houses from the window. He couldn’t know for sure, but he was certain it looked like it wasn’t closed. At least not properly secured. He could see through it, and if the secondary lined gate was closed, you wouldn’t be able to. He marched out the room and house, rushing through the streets, which were empty probably due to Deanna’s meeting starting soon, to come to the gate. And it was open.

Coming to the gate, he scanned outside, and saw nothing, no walkers, no signs of people. That didn’t mean either, or both weren’t inside. The gate wasn’t open much, but it was open enough for someone to walk through. As Rick turned back he suddenly noticed a small piece of flesh stuck to the lock. He pulled it off, dropping it to the ground when he saw a trail of blood droplets on the road leading in from the gate. Rick immediately closed the gate, locked it and closed the second one, before starting to run off following the blood along the street. He was going to have to check everywhere, along each street, between the houses, until he found the walker, or walkers, that were now inside Alexandria. 

-

Glenn had struggled but managed to get the three walkers off him. He killed them. The ones Nicholas had left him for dead for. Now he was going after him. It took a little while, but he finally found him, staggering back through the woods towards Alexandria. When he stopped briefly, leaning on a tree, Glenn chose his moment again, he crept up behind him and when a twig snapped under his foot, Nicholas spun, only to be punched hard by Glenn. One that sent him to the ground. Glenn stood over him, before kneeling and punching him in the face again, drawing blood. Repeating it a couple more times.

“Noah died because of you. And I tried to tell you how it is, how it has to be--,” Glenn exclaims. “And you try to kill me?” Glenn spits, as Nicholas sobs under him. 

Glenn then pulls Nicholas’ gun on him, cocking it against his forehead as he continued sobbing. 

“I was scared. I was scared. I don’t belong out here.” Nicholas cries.

“Shut up.” Glenn mutters. “I was scared. I was just scared.” Nicholas repeats. “Shut up.” Glenn mutters again. “I don’t-- I don’t belong--,” Nicholas continues crying. “Shut up!” Glenn snaps, but Nicholas just keeps repeating himself through his sobs.

Glenn battles as he holds the gun at his forehead, but ultimately pulls away with a pained, stifled scream, moving to the side with the gun as Nicholas cries next to him. It takes him a long moment, but when he finally stands, he looks over a whimpering Nicholas, before helping him to his feet. Taking his hand, and his support, Nicholas allows Glenn to help him back to Alexandria. The both of them bloodied, bruised and injured.

-

People chatted quietly amongst themselves, as we all sat and stood around, gathered in Deanna’s back garden for the meeting. Which Rick still hadn’t shown up for.

“We’re going to start.” Deanna announces, which makes everyone quiet.

“Can we wait?” Maggie chimes quickly. “There’s still people coming. Glenn, Rick.” She points out.

“We’ve already been waiting. We’re going to start.” Deann asserts.

“We’re gonna talk about what happened. Not the fight. Not what precipitated it. we’re dealing with that.” Deanna starts. “We’re going to talk about one of our constables. Rick Grimes. We’re going to talk about how he had a pistol he stole from the armoury, about how he pointed it at people. And we’re going to talk about what he said. I was hoping he’d be here.” Deanna establishes.

“She said he’s coming.” I affirm.

“I’m sure he’ll be here. And I’m sure we can work this all out.” Carol backs, with a smile to finish.

“Well, seeing as he’s not here yet, I suppose we start with his people saying their piece in his defence. Seeing as he doesn’t necessarily need to be here for that.” Deanna states. “Carol-- you want to start.” Deanna urges. 

“Okay.” She replies, taking a brief moment to think. “Well-- Rick Grimes saved my life over and over.” Carol begins. “There’s terrifying people out there. And he rescued me from them. People like me-- people like us-- need people like him.” She explains. “I know what happened yesterday was scary. And I’m sure he’s sorry for that. But maybe we should listen to what he was saying.” Carol encourages. 

Deanna looks from her across the crowd, reading some faces, that looked as if they agreed, some that still just looked worried and some that looked just plain. 

“Alright, who else?” Deanna says, looking around at our people. “Abraham? You have anything to say?” She inquires. 

“I sure do.” He responds. 

“Simply put-- there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit-- and then some.” Abraham declares. 

“Is that everything you wish to say, Abraham?” Deanna probes.

“Yeah. --That about covers it simply for you folks.” He replies. 

“May I speak, Deanna?” Maggie chimes. 

“Of course.” She responds. 

Maggie sighs before she starts. “My father respected Rick Grimes. Rick is a father, too. He’s a man with a good heart who feels the things he does, the things he has to do. And all of us, who were together before this place, no matter when we found each other, we’re family now. Rick started that.” She announces. “And you won’t stop it. You can’t. And you don’t want to. This community, you people-- that family-- you want to be a part of it too.” Maggie states. 

Deanna stares at Maggie as she takes in her words, looking as if it struck a nerve, but in a good way. She then looks across us all again, before landing on me at the end of the semi-circled gathering. I kept myself to myself at the edge, knowing Richard and Hayley where somewhere behind some people in the crowd. 

“Y/N, you’re quiet. Anything to say?” she asks more gently after Maggie’s piece.

“I think the other’s have spoke well enough.” I answer.

“Still-- you appear to be one of the closest to Rick. I’d like to hear what you have to say.” Deanna urges. 

I sigh under my breath. “Alright.” I concede. 

“Well, like Abraham said—there is shit out there that you don’t know about, or how to deal with.” I start. “That can lead to fear-- it will. That will lead to stupidity in the face of it. And stupid gets you killed. I don’t want that to happen. And like Carol said—you people need someone like him. Like us. If you don’t want that to happen.” I point out, looking around the crowd.

“You’ve all been here since the start. Behind the comfort of these walls. That makes you somewhat clueless. --And that isn’t me belittling you-- or what you’ve lost along the way. I’m merely saying that your walls have protected you, but they’ve also shunned you from knowing the brutal reality out there.” I clarify. 

“We have been out there, all around, since the start. We’ve had to fight from one place to the next. And that isn’t just because of walkers.” I announce. “We’ve been run out from our homes, seen places like these torn apart, we’ve had one of our own fall to the same fate--,” I begin to explain, stopping myself for a breath, reliving some painful memories that have led us up to this point like a horror show montage. “-We’ve been scattered and separated more than once-- we’ve been under the grasp of some evil people-- we’ve all lost and seen a lot of our family killed, and again, not just by walkers. And that is putting it all painfully simple, because it is so much more than that.” I continue explaining.

“So-- after everything, after being out there for so long-- too long. --Having to assimilate to a life here, playing by your new, and sometimes naïve rules, was and is hard. But we’ve had to try, and we’ve been doing that. We still are. –But with us doing that, it means you have to try as well. You’re gonna have to see that ultimately you are gonna have to work with us, while we work with you, if you wanna survive. If you want this place to survive. --Or it’s gonna be torn apart from the reality outside-- just like everything else-- just like what we’ve seen.” I declare. 

I look directly at Deanna. “We are the key to doing that. To keeping this place standing. Rick is. --That’s what you wanted us here to do. Let us.” I point out. 

I look back across the faces of the people. “I know you might have thought you saw a bad person in Rick yesterday, but you didn’t. He’s had to assimilate just like all of us, but-- he’s our leader, and he feels responsible for us. So-- it’s taken him a while. But he ultimately wants to keep us safe-- and that includes you if you just hear him out. And after everything-- after being out there-- and then not being how you were out there-- it can drive you crazy.” I explain.

“Rick just wants his family to live. He wants all of you to live.” I announce. 

“And who he is-- is who you need to be. --Who you’re gonna be.” I state, before looking back straight to Deanna. “If you’re lucky.” I add.

Deanna stares back, looking a little taken aback by my speech, and she briefly stands there quiet, before she looks down, this time not looking across the crowd of people. I glance over at Maggie who is looking my way, and she gives me a little nod in affirmation at my words, which I reply, just before Deanna speaks up again. 

“Alright, before we hear from anyone else, I-- erh- I would like to share something in the spirit of transparency.” She announces as she lifts her head back up, standing before everyone. “Father Gabriel came to see me the day before yesterday, and he said our new arrivals can’t be trusted. That they were dangerous, that they would put themselves before this community. And not one day later, Rick seemed to demonstrate all the things Father Gabriel had said. She declares, making me sigh disappointingly, hoping perhaps we’d got through to her a little. “I had hoped Gabriel would be here tonight.” She adds. 

“I don’t see him here, Deanna. So you’re just saying what someone said.” Jessie chimes in, making me glad to hear it. It was good that someone from here was speaking up. “Did you tape him?” Jessie pokes.

“He’s not here.” Maggie points out. “Neither is Rick.” Deanna is quick to counter.

The two stare at each other for a moment. “Excuse me.” Maggie says as she turns and walks away, leaving the meeting.

-

When Gabriel walks into his makeshift church, he sees Sasha sitting in one of the chairs at the front with her rifle at her side. When he closes the door, she looks over her shoulder at him, and he starts to walk around to the front. 

“I came here--,” Sasha starts as Gabriel comes to the front. “-because I don’t-- I don’t know what to do. I’m losing my head.” Sasha sorrowfully announces. 

“Can you help me?” She pleas.

Gabriel just stares as he stands at the front. “No.” he coldly answers. 

A moment of silence washes over as Sasha hears his reply, but she dismisses it.

“I think I wanna die.” Sasha states sombrely.

“Why wouldn’t you wanna die? You don’t deserve to be here. What you did can never be undone. The dead don’t choose, but the choices you made, how you sacrificed your own--,” Gabriel scorns. 

“I know what you’re doing.” Sasha retorts with a look of disdain. 

“Bob was mutilated. Consumed. Destroyed because of your sins.” Gabriel spits as she steps over to stand before Sasha.

“Stop it.” She urges as she rises from her seat. “Your brother felt he was apart from it. he was a part of it. He didn’t deserve to be here. You don’t!” Gabriel exclaims. 

“Stop it! Stop it!” Sasha yells as she pushes Gabriel back against the wall. She slams his head against the wall before pulling him off and shoving him to the floor. He tries crawling over to her rifle, but she kicks at his stomach, making him hunch in pain as she steps over and grabs her rifle, turning around and pointing it at Gabriel on the floor, as she breathes with rage. He uncurls himself, laying flat on his back as he looks up at her.

“Do it.” He deflatingly encourages.

Sasha stays standing over him, breathing heavy as she contemplates pulling the trigger, when the door suddenly opens. 

“Sasha.” Maggie’s voice calls from behind.

Soon after, she feels her hand on her back and she begins to whimper as Maggie puts her other hand on her rifle for her to ease down. Sasha finally gives in, breathing through her whimpered cries, as she lowers her rifle away from Gabriel, allowing Maggie to take it.

“You should let her.” Gabriel states emotionally, as they both look down at him still laid on the floor.

“They died.” Gabriel now whimpers. “They all died because of me.” he sobs.

Maggie, seeing his struggling pain, kneels beside him and tenderly takes his hand, grasping it in hers. “They did.” She replies, before helping him up to his feet.

Seeing that the two were more than struggling, Maggie proposed they just sit together, let their thoughts drain away and pray. So, the three of them, Sasha a little reluctant at first, sat in a tight circle, holding each other’s hands in a peaceful silence and stillness.

-

After resetting the walker trap, at the canned food company loading dock, the leader of the group who set them, that they called and branded themselves ‘The Wolves’, branding being literal as they carved ‘W’s into their foreheads and that of their victims they kill to let turn and use in traps. The leader had found a pack, a bag on the ground of the courtyard that he knew wasn’t one of theirs or there before. While his companion group member secured the traps, he looked through the bag and found something particularly interesting to him amongst some supplies. Looking through a collection of photographs, he studied each one, seeing they were of some kind of town, a place of sanctuary for some people. He saw photos of reinforced walls, houses, solar panels, many things, but also photos of some people. He saw one of a man in what looked like a police jacket, with what must be his son. Another of a pregnant woman with a somewhat surly, redneck looking man with a crossbow, sat on a porch of one of the houses, along with several others of numerous people. The man knew that by whoever had dropped this pack, they and this place in the photos, couldn’t be that far away. And he decided that they were going to find it. 

-

After Maggie had left, Deanna wanted to hear from her people on the matter, and after listening to a couple of them briefly, Tobin was now saying his piece. “I just want to keep my family safe. You know? And I don’t even know what that means anymore, but if it means that we’ve got to get rid of--,” he says, but cuts himself off when he sees something ahead, and looking in the direction his gaze was in, we all suddenly were faced with a bloodied faced Rick with a body slung over his shoulder in the gateway to Deanna’s back garden. He looks at all of us before stepping forward inside and dropping the body down with force, revealing it was a dead walker, as everyone sitting quickly rose up to a stand, taking a step back, with some gasping in horror. Everyone looked on in shock at the display, apart from our people, who I noticed just looked curious at what exactly had actually gone down. And as I looked at Rick I wondered that myself. I wouldn’t have imagined Rick would bring that in intentionally to make a point. But his face was bloodied for a reason, he’d obviously fought this walker and got its blood over him. What had happened? 

“There wasn’t a guard on the gate. It was open.” Rick announces. 

Both Deanna and Reg look directly to Spencer, who I’m pretty sure was supposed to be there, or who was at least last on guard. “I asked Gabriel to close it.” He informs. 

“Go.” Deanna urges sternly, and he rushes off. How had they not made sure it was closed? Idiots. 

“I didn’t bring it in. It got inside on its own. They always will-- the dead and the living, because we’re in here.” Rick states, looking around at us all. “And the ones out there—they’ll hunt us. --They’ll find us. --They’ll try to use us. --They’re try to kill us. --But we’ll kill them. --We’ll survive. I’ll show you how.” He declares. 

“You know, I was thinking-- I was thinking how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives?” Rick proclaims. “But I’m not gonna do that.” He assures. “You’re gonna change.” He states.

Rick turns to face Deanna and Reg. “I’m not sorry for what I said last night. --I’m sorry for not saying it sooner. –You’re not ready, but you have to be. Right now, you have to be. Luck runs out.” Rick announces as he comes to stand in front of the crowd, with us. 

“You’re not one of us.” A voice suddenly calls from the gateway, all of us suddenly spotting Pete, and he was holding my katana. Holy shit. He’d stolen it. “You’re not one of us!” he exclaims as he steps through. I instinctively move the second I see him, at his sudden threatening presence, stepping over to come closer to Jessie and Rick, even with worry going through me of how he got my katana. Carl was in the house with the kids, and the katana was on the wall in the living room. When I’d left he was in Judith’s room with them all upstairs, and given Pete’s obvious drunken state, yet again, I hoped he wouldn’t have been able to even make it up the stairs. I also hoped Carl kept himself upstairs if he heard him come in. I knew he’d have no problem protecting the kids, he was a tough kid himself, but it still didn’t stop the seconds of worry shooting through me at the sudden presence of Pete with my katana, threateningly raged. 

“Pete, you don’t want to do this.” Reg rushes over urgently, to stop him from doing anything as he comes into the garden through the gateway. 

“Get the hell away from me, Reg.” He orders as Reg stands in front of him. “Pete, just stop.” Reg tries to ease. “Get away from me.” Pete reiterates. “Reg. Reg.” Deanna calls, wanting him to back off before he got hurt. The two of them keep repeating themselves back and forth for a moment in front of all of us, making me and several others tense at what exactly was going to happen next. My katana in his hand was making me a little nervous. Not much good had come from it being in someone else’s hands. Pete, all the while staring Rick down, then pushes Reg with his free hand. “Get away. Get away!” He exclaims as he then brings up both his arms to push an insistent Reg away again, but as he does so, my katana in his hands comes worryingly close to Reg’s neck. Before I can even get to him, before I can even do anything, he pushes Reg back with force, and with his movement my katana slices at Reg’s throat just before I tackle him at the waist to the ground. Deanna screams at the ring of my katana and the now gurgling Reg, with many others doing the same and gasping in complete horror, as I got Pete to the ground, pinning him down. Abraham had rushed over with me, and on top of Pete, as I gripped his wrist down that held my katana, Abraham prised it from him. With it now in his possession, he takes a step back, and I flip Pete over onto his front with force against his resistance, all the while hearing the wailing of Deanna over a bleeding out Reg. I kept Pete pinned down, staying on top of him with my knee firmly pushing down on his back as I held both his arms back behind him too, keeping the side of his face pressed against the ground with my hand. He struggled beneath me, but he couldn’t move. 

“Get off of me!” Pete exclaims throughout my pinning of him down and Deanna sobs as she holds Reg, bleeding out in her arms.

“This is him!” Pete yells. “Stop!” I yell back. “This is him!” He repeats as Rick stands over us. It was weird to think that this man had gone from delivering my children, and essentially saving my life, to being discovered as beating his wife, and now he had killed a man. Even if it was accidental. But even now, after it, he wasn’t showing remorse or guilt, he was just blaming Rick. Reg was a good man. Probably the best from and in this place, and I liked and respected, which was more than I could actually say for most of the people here. If any. He deserved so much better than this. And seeing the life drain from him so quickly, his blood soaked all over him with Deanna crying over him, overcome with anguish, it broke my heart.

“It’s him! This is him!” Pete keeps shouting under my hold. 

After a moment, with everyone looking on in complete stun and terror, not knowing what to do, Jessie especially. Deanna then looks up from Reg, dead laid on the ground as she sat next to him crying and looks up at Rick stood over me and Pete. “Rick--,” she sobs. “Do it.” she orders. Knowing exactly what that meant, I quickly move my hand as I see Rick turn to look back down at Pete on the ground. It all happens within a couple seconds, from Deanna’s words, to moving my hand as Rick doesn’t hesitate at all to turn and pulls his gun out, swiftly and quickly pulling the trigger, sending a bullet straight into Pete’s head. After hearing the gunshot ring and the following gasps, I immediately see Pete’s head splatter blood over the ground, while also feeling it spray on my face. Now that he was dead, I rise up back to a stand. Looking from Pete, I look to Reg and Deanna, to the crowd, and then to Rick, looking at the chaos that had just ensued. And even I felt unsure on what to do, or even think at this point. As I now stared at Rick, he continued to stare down at Pete. He’d just executed the man, and at Deanna’s order. So much had just happened; verbally, physically, emotionally, morally, basically everything, that I now had no idea what the repercussions would be from all this. And not just for Rick and our group, for all of us. Then both my thoughts and Rick’s were snapped away when we both heard a familiar voice.

“Rick?” A man’s voice says gently, and as we hear Rick’s name’s, he looks up to see that I was already looking at him, as we both then look to the side at where the voice came from. “Y/N?” He adds as the two of us, stood opposite each other over Pete’s dead body, blood over our faces, look at him in the gateway. Faced by him, stood with Daryl and Aaron, all three of them look on at the scene in stun, as my expression turns to one of the same, even more than it already was and probably Rick’s too, at seeing this familiar face again. And now of all moments. Like I said, so much had now just happened. 

In my shock, I manage to muster a soft mutter. “Morgan?”


End file.
